I'm not sure the ASPCA will take the complain if you tell them this.
Your luck ran out.
I'm calling the ASPCA on you
I'm telling them that a wild dick is running around my melting igloo.
I'm gonna beat you with whatever I want, even with my jacked off dick if I have to.
Your childhood is now getting raped.
I'm so sorry dad please dont beat me with a rubber chicken.
Fuck you for giving me a boner.
Don't worry, I got that professional meth making chick over from the sensationalist headlines.
Sorry son. Everything you believed about me is wrong.
So, about that crystal meth thing...
I thought you were smart dad.
... must be why it melts everytime.