1. Post #1
    G12-A5's Avatar
    November 2007
    764 Posts
    So I've caught you with the title huh? Well good thing is its not a lie. Have you ever had the urge to marry people, To lead a funeral, or perhaps a baptism?

    Well have I got some news for you!
    I have just stumbled upon this non-denominational church that will allow you to become an ordained minister online. They are the Universal Life Church, they are non-denominational so you do not actually have to belong to the same religion as the service you are providing.

    For more information on this they do have a website http://www.themonastery.org/

    Oh did I mention they also can give you a degree as a Jedi Knight, or a Doctorate of Metaphysics.
    This website really is legit, once you do get your ordination you will be able to marry, baptize, as well as preside over a funeral. It is not free as I stated in the title it does cost 6 dollars for the certificate which you then have to take to your local magistrate and get it verified.
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  2. Post #2
    Meloan's Avatar
    February 2010
    770 Posts

    Oh did I mention they also can give you a degree as a Jedi Knight
    Whoa, shit, I'm in.
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  3. Post #3
    Mattk50's Avatar
    April 2010
    4,390 Posts
    im going to get this then run around and marry random people on the street, then they will be all like "fuck you thats my mom" then i will show them my degree and they will go home a married fucking couple.

    oh yeah the awkward situations i would be able to create
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  4. Post #4
    itsDivine's Avatar
    July 2010
    1,641 Posts
    '
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  5. Post #5
    AutoTurret's Avatar
    December 2009
    859 Posts
    What you guys are doing is terrible, you are exploiting religious values. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. In the mean time I'm gonna register so I can marry some dogs.
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  6. Post #6
    G12-A5's Avatar
    November 2007
    764 Posts
    ^^ you probably know this but you could go up to two dogs and provide a sermon and marry them but in legal terms they would not be married. It would be more for show.

  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Alyx Zark's Avatar
    October 2007
    3,058 Posts
    im now a jedi knight fuck yea
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    pyschomc's Avatar
    February 2005
    2,655 Posts
    wasn't there a thread about this on facepunch long ago
    I remember It My minister name was JUSTICE.

  9. Post #9
    hardest nigga around
    littleicyman's Avatar
    September 2008
    2,805 Posts
    I now understand Metaphysics. How practical.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    DimJim's Avatar
    October 2007
    2,784 Posts
    can they give me a theoretical degree in physics
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    darnok's Avatar
    January 2006
    1,173 Posts
    This used to be free. I'm glad I already took up the offer.

  12. Post #12
    Hellghast's Avatar
    July 2007
    611 Posts
    I would so become a Minister in the Imperial Cult.

  13. Post #13
    Jiyoon's Avatar
    September 2010
    1,338 Posts


    Just to test, I'm using test testington at 2222 dicks avenue in dickville, virginia
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  14. Post #14
    Gold Member
    Nifae's Avatar
    March 2010
    2,983 Posts
    A doctorate of metaphysics? Could you...put that on a college application?
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  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    SamPerson123's Avatar
    September 2007
    3,529 Posts
    Oh man. At a price like that, how can you afford not to become a minister?

  16. Post #16
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    June 2009
    6,257 Posts
    If you're interested in buying shit, you can buy doctoral degrees and stuff too.

  17. Post #17
    Jiyoon's Avatar
    September 2010
    1,338 Posts
    do they mail you?

  18. Post #18
    Dennab
    September 2010
    1,758 Posts
    if you're interested in buying shit, you can buy doctoral degrees and stuff too.
    what
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  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    June 2009
    6,257 Posts
    For the low price of $800 you can buy a doctorate in computer sciences apparently with a doctoral thesis.

  20. Post #20
    Gold Member
    Alyx Zark's Avatar
    October 2007
    3,058 Posts
    What a worthwhile investment.
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  21. Post #21
    Spirit Guide
    Big Dumb American's Avatar
    March 2009
    17,082 Posts
    My dad actually did this. A family friend wanted him to stand in as the minister for his wedding, and so my dad went out, got ordained, and married them. It was weird, but fun.
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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    sliferz's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,748 Posts
    You can do it for free with Open-Ministry.
    Seeing as it's free, you could just use a proxy or something and ordain a bunch of people.

    Welp, time to ordain the thundercats.
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  23. Post #23
    Gold Member
    Alyx Zark's Avatar
    October 2007
    3,058 Posts
    Next stop polygamy.
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  24. Post #24
    Lebowski's Avatar
    December 2009
    10,257 Posts
    oh my god i'm gonna be a reverend

  25. Post #25
    G12-A5's Avatar
    November 2007
    764 Posts
    Thats the same site I posted, just different address.

  26. Post #26
    Gold Member

    March 2007
    2,264 Posts
    It'll probably be more worthwhile to become a member of the royalty of Sealand. At least you could partake in some tax evasion.

  27. Post #27
    Lebowski's Avatar
    December 2009
    10,257 Posts
    I sent in my application to Universal Life Church

    Reverend Lebowski

    :smug:

  28. Post #28
    imasillypiggy's Avatar
    December 2009
    8,851 Posts
    you know you dont need 6$ to become one there are other legal sites that do it for free and im also a legal minister

  29. Post #29
    I got my title for $1
    HendoV2's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,354 Posts
    haha my friend did this
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  30. Post #30
    FreeHugs's Avatar
    October 2010
    658 Posts
    I'm a minister.... Your HIRED :D
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  31. Post #31
    Dennab
    August 2010
    2,500 Posts
    ULC posted:
    Applying for ordination in the name of a fictitious person or animal, or the submission of a person's name without his or her permission is fraud.

    Yall goin' to jail ya sinners!

  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    DesolateGrun's Avatar
    July 2008
    6,258 Posts
    Im going to walk around the school,
    " PRREEECHIN THE GOOD LOWRDS NAME, YOU SIAR! ARE YOUA FREEA OF THE DEVIL!"
    Then I bop them on their heads freeing them from their sins

  33. Post #33
    Facepunch Resident Alcoholic!
    sphinxa279's Avatar
    July 2007
    7,814 Posts
    So doing this, can I marry inanimate objects? I could make a cute couple out of two sausages.
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  34. Post #34
    Chicken_Chaser's Avatar
    June 2010
    4,367 Posts
    All praise under Rev. Chicken.

  35. Post #35
    One Silly Mouse's Avatar
    June 2010
    268 Posts
    This guy Reverend B did this and he used to do a HILARIOUS variety show on BlogTv (prank calls, singing songs, karaoke contests!) , as of now he is MIA, but here's a sample of his work:

    http://www.blogtv.com/Shows/553354/b...2Nvb_&pos=ancr

  36. Post #36
    Gold Member
    3com111's Avatar
    March 2005
    2,963 Posts
    I did it for free. I used to sign all my papers in my classes Reverend.

  37. Post #37
    Mr. Massacre's Avatar
    April 2010
    789 Posts
    I want this so i can marry myself to the earth, have a baby somehow, divorce, then collect child support from EVERYONE ON EARTH. Muahahaha.
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  38. Post #38
    Wyvers's Avatar
    June 2010
    947 Posts
    I'll pay your child support if you somehow manage to have sex with the earth.

    Oh did I mention they also can give you a degree as a Jedi Knight, or a Doctorate of Metaphysics.
    You now speak to Wyvers, Jedi Knight of Metaphysics!

  39. Post #39
    Gold Member
    JustExtreme's Avatar
    April 2007
    7,104 Posts
    Haha I've been ordained on there since 2004

  40. Post #40
    Lebowski's Avatar
    December 2009
    10,257 Posts


    hello my children i am here to free you of your sins!!!