I'm stood with a group of people opposite a shiny, metallic building that looks a little like a sports centre. Though the group is chatting freely, there seems to be some sort of guide. My phone goes off - the Doctor Who theme tune - and I have a brief conversation with a friend. He's decided not to come and see me and, after somewhat angrily finishing the conversation and returning to the group, I find the Doctor stood at my right elbow.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," I grumble. He sees I'm not really and immediately jumps onto a completely different topic. We walk further up the stone steps, and he begins to point out the different factions of people that surround us - it turns out they are alien, and their rank in society is named by colour.
"So you see," he says, "we've got some reds, blues... greens... I won't embarrass them by making them say hello..." He turns, and reveals to me an absolutely huge, triangular enclosure of the same people. In the background, a volcano smokes gently.
As I observe, the Doctor begins to tell me that the coloured factions aren't a natural order, they are mutations. He tells me the tale of a Red boy whose mother was bitten by something. The day later, after declining in health rapidly, she exploded - others didn't see the link between the bite and her somewhat singular death. The bite had transmitted something which then spread, though not killing, just mutating.
"Just... keep quiet about the mutations stuff," he advises after a moment. "It would probably cause a bit of an outcry."
I see we've suddenly moved much closer to the bright triangular enclosure. The part closest to us swings open, revealing ranks of Greens. They put on "lava-slippers", then surge forwards jumping out and falling into the lava waterfall beneath the enclosure. However, as they fall, they transform into giant lava/rock creatures and, landing safely, run for it to attend to their shady business before they can be rounded up and recaptured (the enclosure must have been some sort of prison). One rock monster, I understand, is a gypsy who, returning to his/her caravan (it's sort of hard to tell genders apart when they're all hulking rock-things), discovers that the tenant has stolen £2000 from them.
In close-up, I see that the Doctor has donned an orange space-suit, just like the one Tennant Doctor wore in "The Satan Pit". He's stood on his head with pupils so wide his whole iris is huge and black. He's got a childlike smile on his face as he observes the rock monsters from this angle. "What... are... you?" he breathes. The largest rock-monster, standing very close, picks up on this and, turning, takes interest in the strange, skinny man standing on his head.
"What are you?" the rock-monster repeats, realising that this isn't a human. It grabs the Doctor and raises him high. The rock-monsters being ancient creatures, and the Doctor looking so apparently young, the monster laughs. "Look how young he is!" he shows the others, who also laugh. He then tosses the Doctor inside the triangle enclosure, and I have to race in to find him.