This is going to be a very long read. It's not a topic that can be personally described in a paragraph or two -So please don't shitpost as I spent hours writing this, and an equally long time (Feels like it) hovering over the submit button wondering whether or not it was a good idea.
That's it, this is something no 14 year old should go through. It affected my entire childhood, and is still affecting me now in a way I don't like to admit. I'm definitely a MUCH wiser person after it all, and I never pass judgement on other people if I don't know how they feel/how it is for them -never. It was definitely one of the most character building events I've experienced.
Aftermath: I spend the next ~2 years desperately trying to stop my girlfriend from intense self-harm (My attempts were futile), and suicide (I did help). I had to do all of this whilst grieving myself, but I had to do it alone as if I cried infront of her, she would get worse and any progress I made would have been destroyed. I even went so far as to write a letter to what would have been my child, as if it could read and understand what I was writing. I've still got the letter, the clothes I bought, and emails I received (Holy fucking shit, I forgot about the emails...I'm going to look for them now on every old email address I had). I just looked on the old email address that I used, the emails are gone -along with everything else. It's completely blank except for a "Welcome to Hotmail" message, :wtc:. (These are emails between me and my girlfriend discussing: Telling parents, telling friends, telling school (Yes, my school were told and they were VERY supportive), my parents not letting me see her, meeting up secretly...everything.). I'll ask her if she's still got them, I might have something else but I won't know until I go home
Post-aftermath: We break up after three years (I ultimately think that after the miscarriage, we were doomed, we were both too unstable to manage a relationship as strong as ours), but as you can imagine, we still have a huge bond to this day. We talk every week, I even go to parties with her sometimes. It could never work between us again , my parents still hate her -and they tell me often. I'm just really grateful for going through all of that with her, and still being close friends at the end of it. I'm on her "I adore these people" list on Facebook, and she still has photos of me and her up on her wall, as memories.
I hope you enjoyed reading this story, and enjoyed getting an insight to a topic that people are more than happy to throw their opinions (around) about, without actually knowing how it feels.
Thanks for reading Facepunch.