Speaking of hemorrhoids, tonight, I took a very painful shit. Not a massive shit, just really painful, and there was some blood. Now I can't sleep because my ass hurts so much. I would describe it as a "throbbing" pain. This, at once, both somewhat hilarious and incredibly shitty, pun completely intended.
sounds like a hemorrhoid...A way to check, and a kind of awkward way to check is to bend over in front of a mirror and look at it, and see if something looks as if its poking out.
A way that might not require you to bend over and stare at yourself would be to chill out for 5 days or so, don't do any strenuous work, no exercising or stressful activities and eat a decent amount of wheat and see if it goes away. if it doesn't go check with your doctor so he can stare at your ass.