1. Post #1

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    UPDATE : PAGE 5 HAS PICS OF THE PEELING. PREPARE YOURSELF BEFORE WATCHING. GROSS

    WTF @ title, I don't remember typing such a crooked sentence?!
    Can't edit, so you'll have to accept.

    Ok so the story is this.
    The summer has been absolute shit in Holland this year, no sun at all. Well almost no sun.
    All my mates went on holiday to Greece, where there WAS sun, so I was complaining about being pale compared to them.
    So a "general" girlfriend took me to her favorite tanning salon. I felt less gay because I was taken by a chick, but ok.
    She got into one of the booths and told me she'd see me in "a couple of minutes".

    This was my first time ever near a tanningsalon so I had no idea what to do. I inserted 15 euro's into one of the booths, the door opened and I got in.
    I stripped naked, and got into the bed itself. Apparently I then fell asleep because the next thing I remember is waking up to the sound of that girl I was with banging on the door asking if I was in there.
    I quickly got out, even though the timer still had some time on it. I was feeling a little, funny, I guess.

    So she goes "Wow you were in there for a long time, weren't you? I thought you had left already, I even went to the parking lot to see if you were in the car..."
    I'm like "Ha, I seriously have no idea. How long did you spend in the booth and what kind of money did you spend?"
    Her reply was "I was in there for 10 minutes and spent 5 euro's, why?"

    That's when I started feeling a little worried. She's an experienced tanningbed user, I'm not, and she only used that bed for 10 minutes!
    After some thinking and backtracking I spent at least 25 minutes in that stupid thing.

    I'd like to state that I wasn't red at all when I got out, and only on the drive back I started to feel tingly. Not painful or anything, but just tingly.
    After I dropped her off at her home, I went home where I first realized something was long.

    My mom didnt say anything when she saw me, she just said "Uh oh". I headed for the nearest mirror, which was upstairs and I noticed that walking up the stairs hurt like a BITHC.
    What I saw there scared the shit outta me:



    Basically its first degree burns all over my body, including face and private parts.
    And second degree burns on the insides of my knees and arms. Which SUCKS. It hurts like a fothermucker!

    Also after three days:



    Dont fuck me on this one. Im trying to be friendly and give you a genuine warning about how dangerous these things are when used by someone who knows shit about them.
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  2. Post #2
    Balphagore's Avatar
    June 2011
    279 Posts
    I love threads with naked people. They make Facepunch a better place to be.
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  3. Post #3
    foxcock
    Bletotum's Avatar
    June 2008
    6,874 Posts
    so you burned yourself
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  4. Post #4

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    so you burned yourself
    Very badly yes.

    The inside of my knees are actually cracking open now, creating open wounds.
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    Gubbinz96's Avatar
    September 2006
    3,459 Posts
    How ridiculous.
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  6. Post #6
    iSnubWaitWhat's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,114 Posts
    Ow. That burns.
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  7. Post #7

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    How ridiculous.
    Ah so true. Sorry.

  8. Post #8
    Goodthief's Avatar
    December 2009
    5,967 Posts
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Gareth's Avatar
    July 2006
    2,631 Posts
    holy shit that looks painful
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    Baldr 2.0's Avatar
    April 2011
    4,017 Posts
    Dear Christ.
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  11. Post #11

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    Wat?

    Also. I occasionally smoke, and I get slapped in the face with stickers saying "Warning: These might damage your health."
    But I've been an occasional smoker for years now, and I never burned myself.

    I get into a damn tanningbed once and Im burned all over. I didn't see any stickers there.
    Srsly government, wtf.
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  12. Post #12
    EzioAuditore's Avatar
    November 2010
    1,338 Posts
    I was having my dinner, now its all over my screen.
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  13. Post #13
    Goodthief's Avatar
    December 2009
    5,967 Posts
    that censor bar looks a little big that's all
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  14. Post #14
    POWA KILLERDeux's Avatar
    August 2009
    1,250 Posts
    Tanning beds are for gays anyways. Why'd you use them?
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  15. Post #15
    z0rz's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,058 Posts
    This is what will happen if you stay too long inside a tanning bed:

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  16. Post #16
    Goodthief's Avatar
    December 2009
    5,967 Posts
    Also, your ass crack looks like an arrow pointing down
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  17. Post #17
    Lifeslicer's Avatar
    October 2007
    212 Posts
    Shit man, being pale is a whole lot better than roasting yourself. Gotta be careful with that kind of stuff, I'd of just waited for a sunny day.
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  18. Post #18
    Dennab
    August 2011
    442 Posts
    the thread icon does say NSFW, learn how to use brains, yeah?

  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Scotchair's Avatar
    May 2007
    3,365 Posts
    I reckon you're being a big generous with your black bar there mate...

    Also, the worst sunburn I had was in Thailand last year.

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  20. Post #20
    Cyan_Husky's Avatar
    August 2007
    1,080 Posts
    How ridiculous.
    I thought it was supposed to be a pun... ya know... RED...

    *shrug*
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  21. Post #21
    Gold Member
    Anti Christ's Avatar
    December 2009
    2,393 Posts
    I rated your post funny, but it's not because of your story. I just couldn't stop from laughing at the reflection of your penis on the wall, compared to the censored version you gave.
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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member

    June 2006
    1,105 Posts
    was there really no warnings or guidelines for use written anywhere near the thing?

    that'd be an instant lawsuit in the US, assuming the place didn't make you sign a contract prior to use.

  23. Post #23
    Dennab
    August 2011
    442 Posts
    I rated your post funny, but it's not because of your story. I just couldn't stop from laughing at the reflection of your penis on the wall, compared to the censored version you gave.
    oh my god, I just noticed that. I also have a small penis, but he has the smallest of all known on facepunch. Welcome, small-penis.
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  24. Post #24

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    I rated your post funny, but it's not because of your story. I just couldn't stop from laughing at the reflection of your penis on the wall, compared to the censored version you gave.
    Lol the reflection is shopped, and ofcourse the censorbar is bigger than it needed to be.
    Nothing wrong with bringing a funny note to a very painful thread, is there?
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  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    Scotchair's Avatar
    May 2007
    3,365 Posts
    Shadow is clearly fake...
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  26. Post #26
    Gold Member

    June 2006
    1,105 Posts
    Lol the reflection is shopped, and ofcourse the censorbar is bigger than it needed to be.
    Nothing wrong with bringing a funny note to a very painful thread, is there?

    please report all penis lengths accurately it bothers me personally when anyone does otherwise i record them for personal use later it is very important readings are correct.....
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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Anti Christ's Avatar
    December 2009
    2,393 Posts
    Lol the reflection is shopped, and ofcourse the censorbar is bigger than it needed to be.
    Nothing wrong with bringing a funny note to a very painful thread, is there?
    I never said either one was fake, I just found it hilarious for for some reason.
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  28. Post #28
    Dennab
    August 2011
    442 Posts
    Lol the reflection is shopped, and ofcourse the censorbar is bigger than it needed to be.
    Nothing wrong with bringing a funny note to a very painful thread, is there?
    I see you live in the netherlands, tell Anne Frank to come to my house, I have a big crush on her


    what, I'm 14.

    (User was banned for this post ("Threadshitting" - Autumn))
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  29. Post #29
    Thug319's Avatar
    December 2006
    53 Posts
    fuck it, horrible.
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  30. Post #30

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    Shadow is clearly fake...
    Ofcourse it is mate.
    I wanted to give you guys a laugh

    I never said either one was fake, I just found it hilarious for for some reason.
    Well then at least I had moderate succes :D
    Welcome. I thought some people might laugh about it.

    I was just inb4 "lol small penis"
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  31. Post #31
    Dennab
    August 2011
    442 Posts
    Never take a ginger to thailand (this is what happens when you tell your friend to put suncream on, and he doesnt.)

    ]

    WHAT THE FUCK, TAKE THAT THE FUCK OFF.
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  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    SomeDumbShit's Avatar
    January 2010
    4,197 Posts
    Never take a ginger to thailand (this is what happens when you tell your friend to put suncream on, and he doesnt.)

    Snipped image
    What in the actual fuck.
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  33. Post #33
    Oh holy fuck man.

  34. Post #34

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    was there really no warnings or guidelines for use written anywhere near the thing?

    that'd be an instant lawsuit in the US, assuming the place didn't make you sign a contract prior to use.
    I did not sign a contract whatsoever.
    I just inserted money into an automated machine that made me choose a cabin via touchscreen and told me the minimum i had to insert was 5 euro's. Yes I went apeshit and put in triple that, but it didnt say how much it'd cost.

    And yes instant lawsuit in US, here in the Netherlands we just accept that we haven't been as careful as one should have been. It's partly my fault as well, so why sue.

    After a phonecall I got my money back so why create more problems?
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  35. Post #35
    eloreda's Avatar
    December 2008
    181 Posts
    WHAT THE FUCK, TAKE THAT THE FUCK OFF.
    QUICK! TAKE SOME
    http://eyebleach.com/
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  36. Post #36
    Godline's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,255 Posts
    Medium rare
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  37. Post #37
    Dennab
    August 2011
    442 Posts
    Thank you kind sir,

    I now owe you 50 internets.
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  38. Post #38
    Gold Member
    cottonwaxy's Avatar
    November 2008
    716 Posts
    why did you register to post this?

  39. Post #39

    August 2011
    275 Posts
    why did you register to post this?
    Because I have been planning on becoming active for some time.
    I just didn't wanna be that guy that just registers and leeches without contributing, so I waited till I had something to share.

    Here you go, and heed my warning or I registered for nothing.
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  40. Post #40
    Gold Member
    Psycho_Shadow's Avatar
    July 2010
    4,758 Posts
    op you may have cancer
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