1. Post #1241
    I am obsessed with titles; it is all I talk about
    avon43's Avatar
    August 2010
    2,257 Posts
    Test #94
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Pac - Man
    Details: After a few hours of playtime, Dr. Tendo starts repetitively yelling waka while flailing his arms about. He eventually finds a plastic can of SCP - 500 and consumes the whole can then proceeds to conduct acts of cannibalism on various D class personnel.
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  2. Post #1242
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    Test #49
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Depict1
    Details: After successfully completing the game, Dr. Tendo displayed intense paranoia and distrust of all other personnel. Upon being told to return to his quarters, Dr. Tendo started off in the opposite direction. Shortly after, Dr. Tendo was observed stabbing knives into walls and attempting to use them to climb into a ventilation shaft; upon his third consecutive attempt, the handles snapped off, resulting in minor contusions on his back and several lacerations from the blades. Dr. Tendo was detained by security, and until this state of mind has worn off - or failing that, been wiped off - he is to stay detained, and away from any sharp objects.
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  3. Post #1243
    Gold Member
    Cone's Avatar
    August 2011
    18,987 Posts
    Test #81
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: The Hidden: Source
    Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]

    Dear God, he's loose! - Dr. █████
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  4. Post #1244
    PIRATE METAL BASTARD
    Zenpod's Avatar
    October 2009
    7,521 Posts
    Test #11111
    Name: Dr. [EXPUNGED]
    Subject: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
    Details: Test seemed to carry through as normal, with Reese providing tips to the Doctor.
    After 2 hours, Dr. [EXPUNGED] left the testing chamber and proceeded to end his shift on time as always.
    However, The next day Dr. [EXPUNGED] was observed to have gone from Clean Shaven to A full thick beard overnight saying that all attempts to shave had been futile as it grew back within a hour
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  5. Post #1245
    Gold Member
    finbe's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,235 Posts
    This entire thing needs to be compiled into a joke SCP and posted on the website.
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  6. Post #1246
    Gold Member
    Zakkin's Avatar
    August 2009
    5,733 Posts
    So how about that Coolity SCP MC server?
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  7. Post #1247
    Resident dragon enthusiast.
    Dennab
    September 2010
    10,153 Posts
    -snip-
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  8. Post #1248
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    Test #45
    Name: Dr. LeFresque
    Subject: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
    Details: After approximately █ minutes LaFresques' heart rate and pupil dilation both increased and repeatedly shouted negative responses when scared (80% of the time these responses being 'nope'). After 2 (two) hours of gameplay LeFresque announced he had had enough and left the room, since testing he has been unable to enter places with less than 20% brightness and places with less than 2 (two) entrances/exits.

    Further testing needs to be done on this game, it could have possible military or other professional applications - Dr. Buchanon.
    Late
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  9. Post #1249
    Resident dragon enthusiast.
    Dennab
    September 2010
    10,153 Posts
    Fuck everything, his is much better.
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  10. Post #1250
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    This entire thing needs to be compiled into a joke SCP and posted on the website.

    Perhaps I'll write it and post it for consideration as to whether it's good enough to put on.
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  11. Post #1251

    April 2011
    36 Posts
    What would happen if SCP-073 were to try committing suicide?
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  12. Post #1252
    Test #83
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: LSD
    Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]

    -Oh god, oh jesus fucking christ, we have to stop testing... -Dr. ████
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  13. Post #1253
    Abused by Girlfriend
    geogzm's Avatar
    January 2010
    19,607 Posts
    Test #XX
    Name: Dr. Bright
    Subject: Leisure Suit Larry
    Details: [DATA EXPUNGED].

    Restrict Dr. Bright from using SCP-XXX, and question those...ladies of the night as to how they got here.

    Edited:

    Test #XX
    Name: Agent ██████████
    Subject: Batman: Arkham Asylum
    Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]

    Notes: We can't find Agent ██████████ to wipe his psyche. Just shoot at any gargoyles on sight. - Dr. Soft
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  14. Post #1254
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    http://pastebin.com/BUGGzpaB


    Rough draft deployed. What do you guys think?

    Edited:

    Test #83
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: LSD
    Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]

    -Oh god, oh jesus fucking christ, we have to stop testing... -Dr. ████
    LSD isn't a game. As far as I'm aware, the console only runs games.
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  15. Post #1255
    Abused by Girlfriend
    geogzm's Avatar
    January 2010
    19,607 Posts
    Test #154

    Name: [DATA EXPUNGED]
    Subject: Mirror's Edge
    Details: ██████████ ██ █████ ███ ███████ █ ███ ███ █████████ █████ ████ fell down, to his death.

    Notes: Cleanup teams dispatched. R.I.P.
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  16. Post #1256


    LSD isn't a game. As far as I'm aware, the console only runs games.
    Oh really
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  17. Post #1257
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    I stand corrected.
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  18. Post #1258
    Gold Member
    eatdembeanz's Avatar
    July 2009
    10,695 Posts
    Congratulations, Facepunch. You've managed to bleed a gag dry within a single page.
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  19. Post #1259
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    Congratulations, Facepunch. You've managed to bleed a gag dry within a single page.
    Says the man who had no part in creating it or contributing. Why have we 'bled it dry?'
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  20. Post #1260
    Gold Member
    Cone's Avatar
    August 2011
    18,987 Posts
    Test #108
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Penumbra: Overture
    Details: Upon completion of the game, Dr. Tendo reported no ill effects of any note. Testing continued.

    Test #109
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Penumbra: Black Plague
    Details: Yet again, after completion of the game Dr. Tendo in no way acted out of his usual manner, though he now seems to refer to the SCP Foundation as "The Archaic" and has been placing requests for a cyanide capsule. Other than these effects, Dr. Tendo acts exactly the same as usual.

    Strange. It's almost as if the Archaic and the Foundation are based upon each other. Though obviously one does not take place in reality... right? Dr. █████
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  21. Post #1261
    Egg
    Egg's Avatar
    September 2011
    155 Posts
    I feel bad for Dr. Tendo
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  22. Post #1262
    Abused by Girlfriend
    geogzm's Avatar
    January 2010
    19,607 Posts
    Congratulations, Facepunch. You've managed to bleed a gag dry within a single page.
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  23. Post #1263
    Gold Member
    zeldar's Avatar
    July 2007
    7,434 Posts
    Tbh it's getting old. It was better when we were talking about the wiki itself and trying to create new SCPs. But whatever, :regd08:
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  24. Post #1264
    Gold Member
    Strongbad's Avatar
    December 2008
    4,983 Posts
    Tbh it's getting old. It was better when we were talking about the wiki itself and trying to create new SCPs. But whatever, :regd08:
    Trying to create new SCPs? See my earlier post. Some of us want to make a joke SCP out of this one.
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  25. Post #1265
    Gold Member
    zeldar's Avatar
    July 2007
    7,434 Posts
    It's not that funny of a joke SCP and would be deleted in a heartbeat. I'm talking about SCPs like the ones on page 24.
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  26. Post #1266
    DChapsfield's Avatar
    October 2008
    3,912 Posts
    Test #11
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Killing Floor (PC)
    Details: After an elapsed 3.56 hours of gameplay, Dr. Tendo promptly got up and left the facility. The next morning, security officers [REDACTED] reported Dr. Tendo attempting to bribe his way through security with a crossbow holstered on his back. When questioned for his identification, Dr. Tendo took out $50 bundles of bills and threw them on the floor in front of the officers, describing his quantity of money as "loads." After fifteen minutes of unsuccesful bribing, when Dr. Tendo finally ran out of money (which seems to have been stolen from his Foundation pension), he reportedly yelled, "YER ALL FUR-COAT, NO-KNICKERS BITCHES." Following this, his expression went blank as he turned around and left, yelling such phrases as "Spare some cash, guys?" and "Someone lend me a tenner!"

    Dr. Tendo returned seemingly normal the next day, although he has gained a faux-British accent which he claims to have always been part of his voice. Psychiatric evaluation of level 3 clearance recommended.

    Note// Perhaps Dr. Tendo should have a break. Also, I'm amazed he didn't kill anyone. I didn't know we even had crossbows in the facility!
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  27. Post #1267
    Gold Member
    Cone's Avatar
    August 2011
    18,987 Posts
    Buzz Killington should be an SCP.

    Or was that Mister Deeds?
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  28. Post #1268
    Gold Member
    zeldar's Avatar
    July 2007
    7,434 Posts
    Test #5923
    Name: Agent [REDACTED]
    Subject: SCP Thread p. 30-32
    Details: Within seconds of setting eyes upon the text, Agent [REDACTED], hereby referred to as S-91, began experiencing extreme fits of laughter, each ranging from 5-25 minutes straight at the most. When questioned, S-91 replied, screaming "IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!" while blood could be seen pouring out of almost every orifice in his body. The laughter persisted for half an hour before S-91 stopped. Short, erratic chuckles happened every few minutes or so when scrolling down the document, but otherwise S-91 maintained an adamant blank stare towards the computer screen. Dr. Rosenburg then questioned S-91.

    Rosenburg: Agent [DATA EXPUNGED]?

    S-91: ....y-you..

    Rosenburg: Me?

    S-91:..you had to kill it...d-didn't..you..
    S-91 then proceeded to start peeling apart his [EXPUNGED], screaming and clawing at every inch of his body and then promptly pulling out his [REDACTED]. S-91 then punched a hole through the computer screen, shook it to the side, and turned to the others in the room. The guards opened fire, but each round did not do any visible damage to S-91 who casually snapped both of their necks, grabbed their pistols and shot 8 rounds into Rosenburg's cranium. S-91 then pulled the two pistols on himself, quietly whispering to himself, "y-y..killed it." S-91 promptly shot himself in the head. Investigations have been started as to the reason behind this sudden burst of rage and adrenaline. Experimentation with human beings is currently forbidden.

    Why exactly were three other personnel present in the room? I told you idiots not to look at the thread. - Dr. B
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  29. Post #1269
    Gold Member
    Grim Joker's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,743 Posts
    Buzz Killington should be an SCP.

    Or was that Mister Deeds?
    Buzz Killington.

    An SCP who kills the buzz of everyone he comes into contact with.
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  30. Post #1270
    Official worst poster 2011
    certified's Avatar
    June 2007
    8,558 Posts
    Test #12
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Killzone 2 Singleplayer
    Details: Within    __    hours of singleplayer Dr. Tendo began to randomly [REDACTED] and screaming about "THEY [REDACTED] THE [REDACTED]!!!" along with randomly beating D-Class to death for insulting the [REDACTED], claiming that they needed to "Learn to show some [REDACTED]".

    Shit, we may need a new shipment of D-Class -Dr. Sevchenko

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Test #13
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Killzone 2 Multiplayer
    Details: After spending 4 days straight in a single match Dr. Tendo became [REDACTED] and started attempting to attack D-Class wearing uniforms with jeans, and a gray shirt with an orange collar. Contact was lost with Site    __    after Dr. Tendo placed two (2) explosives on the wall of SCP [REDACTED] causing a containment breach killing    __    personnel. SCP [REDACTED] has not be contained as of yet.

    I propose termination of Dr. Tendo and that we use disposable personnel for testing SCP-XXX for now on -Dr. Velasquez
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  31. Post #1271
    Secure, Contain, Protect.
    Zombii's Avatar
    October 2008
    7,972 Posts
    Guys, these are funny enough, but maybe we shouldn't blow through two pages of them? Just saying.
    Write one in the sandbox or make a pastebin or something
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  32. Post #1272
    Gold Member
    zeldar's Avatar
    July 2007
    7,434 Posts
    Test #13
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Killzone 2 Multiplayer
    Details: After spending 4 days straight in a single match Dr. Tendo became [REDACTED] and started attempting to attack D-Class wearing uniforms with jeans, and a gray shirt with an orange collar. Contact was lost with Site    __    after Dr. Tendo placed two (2) explosives on the wall of SCP [REDACTED] causing a containment breach killing    __    personnel. SCP [REDACTED] has not be contained as of yet.

    I propose termination of Dr. Tendo and that we use disposable personnel for testing SCP-XXX for now on -Dr. Velasquez
    Lol why did you add the clothes the D-Class was wearing.
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  33. Post #1273
    Gold Member
    Cone's Avatar
    August 2011
    18,987 Posts
    Test #126
    Name: Dr. Tendo
    Subject: Splinter Cell: Conviction
    Details: Dr. Tendo seemed to disappear from the containment room of SCP-XXX shortly after being left alone. When agents dispatched to locate and potentially terminate Dr. Tendo seemed to abruptly lose radio contact with HQ, the area was contained and all personnel still on-site were presumed MIA, or dead. When teams entered the facility several months later, operative A-24 "█████" discovered Dr. Tendo, alone in a somewaht darknened room, with the corpses of all on-site researchers, agents and D-Class near him. Dr. Tendo was, at this point, incapacitated by operative A-24. Medical diagnosis shows Dr. Tendo to be in good health, though, unexplainably, his occular nerves seem damaged in a way that would suggest color-blindness.

    He's gone too far. I say we neutralize Dr. Tendo while we have him asleep. Dr. █████
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  34. Post #1274
    Gold Member
    Grim Joker's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,743 Posts
    Guys, stop. It was funny at first, but now it's taking over the entire thread. Take it to the sandbox or something if you want to keep building on it. It's fine to post your ideas for an SCP, but holy shit, it's been two pages, give it a rest.
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  35. Post #1275
    Kaizo45's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,253 Posts
    i can't stop laughing at the last page oh god you guys
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  36. Post #1276
    Official worst poster 2011
    certified's Avatar
    June 2007
    8,558 Posts
    Lol why did you add the clothes the D-Class was wearing.
    ISA colors. You wouldn't understand unless you played the game.
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  37. Post #1277
    Gold Member
    Grim Joker's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,743 Posts
    ISA colors. You wouldn't understand unless you played the game.
    That seems a little obscure. I've played the game and I still didn't really know what you were getting at.
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  38. Post #1278
    Gold Member
    Cone's Avatar
    August 2011
    18,987 Posts
    Guys, stop. It was funny at first, but now it's taking over the entire thread. Take it to the sandbox or something if you want to keep building on it. It's fine to post your ideas for an SCP, but holy shit, it's been two pages, give it a rest.
    I say we neutralize Dr. Tendo while we have him asleep.
    What I was going for.
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  39. Post #1279
    [b]MASSIVE HOMOPHOBE[/b]

    April 2010
    3,562 Posts
    Guys, guys,



    Stop.
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  40. Post #1280
    Gold Member
    megafat's Avatar
    January 2005
    6,540 Posts
    As much as i love the SCP with the video game console, we do have to move on. Post a suggestion for it if you want, but don't put the focus on it.

    I propose a bag of candy that looks like a bag of skittles in which each flavor gives a person different abilitys or makes the person have a completely different personality.

    Not a very good suggestion. Probably been done before.
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