Since I have fuck all to do, I'll post one.
I'm kind of a lot like that person on page 5, honestly. And I wouldn't
consider wht he said arrogant.
I'm turning 18 in a month, and I have no fucking drive to even live
anymore. I spend all of my time helping others, because that's what
I'm good at, I guess, is giving advice. I've always been -slightly-
socially awkward, coming from being in the gifted program in my lower
grades and lots of kids thought I was an idiot because I was smarter
than them (That kid read a book in a few days LOL WHAT A NERD)... I
figured it was whatever, who cares. I get to high school, same shit
for one year then I try to change. I start hanging out with people
more, becoming more outgoing... Go out with my first girlfriend (my
first SERIOUS one), obviously fell in 'love' (it wasn't even close,
looking back), she randomly dumps me, it makes me kinda depressed but
I got over it fairly quick. I date a few others, who all cheat on me
or end up being lying whores, and I don't know exactly what to do
about them, so I usually just say whatever (and people try to spread
rumors that all I want is sex even though I've never asked anyone for
it)
I'm considered an extremely nice guy by almost everyone I end up
talking to. I don't judge, I'm not gonna call someone stupid, if
someone needs help, I'm there. I'm pretty sad so I guess I try to
help others NOT be sad, but blah. I made a 32 on my ACT, which should
mean free college, but my GPA is a little too low because I slacked
off and got like an 83 average or so, which is 2 points too low from
scholarships to a serious college. So I'll be going to some shitty
one for two years and then transfer IF i can find the motivation to
make good grades there.
On with the story. Two years ago, I met the girl of my dreams pretty
much. She didn't look great, but she was exactly what I looked for in
a girl, and looks are very unimportant to me. She was smart, fun to
talk to, she understood me, etc. We were best friends, we talked
24/7, hung out, just did stuff. Any time I needed to talk, she was
there, and the other way. Honestly I think my depression started when
I was around 8-10 (i don't remember honestly enjoying anything for
more than a few minutes since then), but when I was with her I was
happy. She could cheer me up, always. We started dating some, but
she ended up with her ex and married him. I was a year younger than
her, and even for all my intelligence, I wasn't as mature as I had
thought, but mostly because she was in love with her ex still, she
ended up with him and married him. The hardest thing for me to do was
to just stop talking to her, but I knew she'd be happier without me
there to remind her that she cared a lot about me. You guys might
think it was stupid, but I kind of had to. I was obviously pretty sad
for a while, but then again, it was just like normal life for me,
boring but with a side-order of DAMNIT (You know how it is.)
After that, I spent a couple of months getting my shit together and
then ended up talking to a few people. I was just-turned-16 then, and
I had some serious trust issues, but I was trying to just act like a
normal person, and started talking to two friends(which, in
retrospect, was a terrible idea.) I could explain the entire story,
but it'd be too long, so let's just say I fell completely in love with
one of them---who already was dating someone else. She had someone
else, so I started dating her friend, and the funny part is, my GF and
her BF cheated on us... with eachother. So I spent 3 months trying to
pick her heart up out of the shit and make her happy, she knew exactly
how much I cared about her, and I spent like every single night on the
phone with her crying about SOME OTHER GUY and I was okay with it. I
figured she'd get better and then we could date, neh? Well, fast
forward those 3 months, she starts talking to my best MALE friend...
they promised that it wasn't going anywhere, they weren't going to
date, but of course they ended up doing it. I was trusting though, I
didn't think someone could have me there for them so long and just
throw my heart away, but I was wrong. He told her straight off that
she had to NOT talk to me at all, which I disliked, but I couldn't do
anything about it, so I ended up lonely for about a year.
Just recently they broke up, and guess who she comes running to for
support? I'm stuck here AGAIN with her crying about other people, but
I think this time she realizes how much I care--- but she says shit
like "why are you so sweet!?" after i sit there and listen to her cry
about her latest bf for an hour. Then it ends up with her saying shit
that hurts and stuff like "I wish I could love you" while I'm like,
"Jesus wtf why can't you." It's getting pretty old, and just making me
feel like shit slightly more than normal, but I try to help people, so
I can't just tell her to fuck off.
I have no fucking clue what to do with my life. I don't even know if
I feel like living, I doubt I'll commit suicide because I live for the
chance of true love and I'm a romantic piece of shit. So I'll keep
living as long as I think there's a chance.
~NiceGuy
had to vent, sorry. Post or not... but I'm sure you'll have to pick
some out, this is long.
know that feel =[