1. Post #801
    I am An Hero!
    GeneralMastiff's Avatar
    March 2011
    221 Posts
    Anyways, I was a horny little kid that didn't know it. I'd always found the female genitalia fascinating and had strange dreams and fantasies involving what was behind those flaps. Jim's dad kept porn mags in the bathroom, and I always read them as I took a shit, but Jim would always come in, take the mag, and say something like "man, you shouldn't be looking at those". Well, the first time he was over at my "house", he slept in the same bed as I did. After everyone else went to bed, he said "Do you want to have sex?"
    "Sure," I said, "how do you do it?"
    "Well you take my pants off and suck my dick"
    "Okay"
    I did as he said, and stopped within five seconds.
    "There," he said, "you just had sex"
    "Cool, now you suck mine"
    "Naw, man"he said, and went to sleep.
    2) when i was younger about 12 i went to a BBQ with my parents i didn't really know there son. we became friends he is a year older than me. he started saying sexual things to me i shrugged it off as a joke we had a sleepover set up a tent in his garden we started dares soon he asked me "what would you most not like to do tonight" i replied " suck a dick". one thing came to another and we where playing strip poker we where both naked and then he dared me to let him put his dick in my ass i did and then we reacted a gay porno he suck my dick again and put his dick in my ass then i had to suck his dick and i just pulled my head off before he jizzed then i put my dick in his ass and after we got off. i would not say i am gay i have interest in girls and have several girlfriends but however when ever i think of that night I get hard.
    Why do these two parts sound Similar?
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  2. Post #802
    #420 PRAISE IT
    pvt.jenkins's Avatar
    May 2010
    6,607 Posts
    -Confession-

    Oh my god... What the Fuck?
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  3. Post #803
    fp43's Avatar
    October 2011
    1,055 Posts
    Well, this died.
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  4. Post #804
    Gold Member
    Wolfyhound's Avatar
    December 2006
    1,104 Posts
    Well, this died.
    No it hasn't, you're just impatient.
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  5. Post #805
    Gold Member
    OogalaBoogal's Avatar
    November 2008
    4,081 Posts
    He is impatient!
    I find the thought of women being killed in as gory a fashion as possible exciting. Preferably with the use of a pump. Nothing excites me more than the idea of a woman's stomach and intestines filling with gas and her body straining to contain the pressure. Even better if they're wearing latex.

    If they can't contain it and have to let it out, so be it. But in the end, they gotta' be pumped up.

    Reply if you think this is messed up or not.
    That's gross.
    Hopefully you're getting enough confessions to keep the thread going, it's great to know there are plenty worse than me, even if half of them are fake. Well, let's get to it.

    - I have ten Facepunch accounts littered around, even though I have never been banned in my two year stay.
    - I like to finger myself while listening to college fight songs.
    - I've had longer relationships with girls than guys, mostly just because any guy I date tends to piss me off after a couple weeks. My longest relationship is about a month. Maybe it's me, I don't see them breaking up with there other girlfriends as quickly.
    - I've dated both girls and boys but have never had sex with a girl. I like to think because of that I'm still straight, though I know that's not how it works.
    - I'm dying to know what happens after death, it's probably just a dead stop type thing, but it's the worlds worst tease.
    - I do terribly at school, because I forget to turn in most of the work I complete, and then lose it. I also sleep in the same classes (teachers don't give a shit) each and every day, it's like as soon as I walk into the room I want to sleep, any help with this FP?

    Hope to see the thread pick up a bit.
    Go to bed earlier. My concentration is much better when I do, and I never fall asleep because I head in early.

    Hm, where to start.



    Two summers ago (I’m now in college) we had a wasp problem it wasn’t really affecting our house so much as it only appeared they liked my room, I would wake up from sleeping and se about 5-6 wasps on the inside of my window and shit ton more outside I don’t know what was going on cause they seemed docile even with me hovering over them. At first I just crushed them cause they were a annoyance then after a day or so I started picking them up in with a sock and dropping them in a popcorn jar, a small one from some stupid fundraiser that we paid 15$ for… Anyway, after I had a couple in there I would sometimes spray them with air freshener and stuff like that and see how they react. After I got bored of that I would get new ones and I would pick them up with something so they weren’t able to move it worked well as I didn’t have to worry about getting stung. And here I would cut off their antenna and stuff like that, they really really hate it when you shove a thumb tack down their mouths. I would see how long they would survive without nutrients and body deformities (aka without a thorax most of the time). I remember one time I pinned down the wasp by one of its wings and gave it a face full of sharpie marker, that was hilarious. When I told one of my friends they thought it was really strange and sociopathic or something but that's just who I am, I think he asked me if I felt anything when I was doing this and I responded with :"they are insects why do I care if they feel pain" and that really threw him through a loop. I think I’ll stop here for now. I might have 2 other stories for you and the forums. [You can say whatever when you post it on facepunch serious funny whatever I don’t mind if it is insulting or anything]

    Cheers mate!
    That's really strange an sociopathic.

    I guess it's not that bad. I don't know. It's fucked up in a way but not at the same time.

    For the past few years, I've pretended to be a girl online. Not 100% of the time, no. I'm not a girl on Facepunch, Steam, etc. However, if I go on Omegle, I'm always a girl. Always. I use pictures of a friend of mine. She has so many it's easy to generate new content. And I'm not just doing this to get off (although I do do it often), I have created an entire alternate life for myself.

    I've made her a Facebook, a Formspring, an MSN, an AIM, a Yahoo, even hopped on various IRC channels. I make up her entire life, from school to friends to hobbies to what she likes in a guy (and girl) to preferred games, everything. She's a sexually active girl who has troubles with being so naughty. It sounds silly, but people eat it up. Apparently I'm very convincing, I've made dozens (possibly more than a hundred) people of both sexes orgasm through my complete fabrications. I have gotten real nudes (again of both sexes) over the years. I've had people fall in and out of "love" with me.

    And off the topic of sex, I have made people spill their problems to me. Vent to me. I know some very scary things about people. They come to me because I'm apparently good at giving advice. It's an interesting thing to know that these people trust me so deeply. I feel bad sometimes that I'm not this gorgeous girl with the pretty eyes and problems with self-esteem, I'm just some fucked up guy who has problems with attention.

    I guess that's it.
    Guy in real life.
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  6. Post #806
    THE GRINCH WHO STOLE COSMETICS
    Dennab
    August 2011
    5,740 Posts
    Just read through the entire thread. I really don't feel that awful about myself now, but christ, some of these are depressing.

    Maybe I'll actually venture out of the TF2 board once in a while. I feel like I could help some people here.
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  7. Post #807
    THE WASP GUY
    notebook_holder's Avatar
    March 2010
    283 Posts
    Just read through the entire thread. I really don't feel that awful about myself now, but christ, some of these are depressing.

    Maybe I'll actually venture out of the TF2 board once in a while. I feel like I could help some people here.
    Took you that long to read it all eh Unisath :smug:
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  8. Post #808
    Gold Member
    The First 11'er's Avatar
    January 2011
    3,724 Posts
    This is going to be my Anonymous Confession. I was going to post it as a thread on an alt account, but I decided not to. Disregard the email name or whatever, I use this as an anonymous email. Please try to keep this in a different post, I need some one to help me and I think some people will read it more.

    I am 15 and I am a Sophmore in High School and I (think) I suffer from extreme depression. All starting last year I have thoughts throughout the day of killing myself after any little incident that has happened. I don't know what to do. I'm insecure and I think I'm a total waste of life. I'm bullied around to the point where I just want to quit life. I don't want to be put through all the troubles. I don't know what I'm going to face when I grow up. I don't want to be a homeless person on the side of the street begging for money. I want to be succesful. But I just have a feeling that I won't end up that way.

    I'll give you an example: today I saw a couple holding hands, just walking down the hallway and it was a very pretty girl. Now, the ordinary teenager would probably just think of it as "cute" or "sweet", but not me. This just gave me the thought of suicide.

    Why might you ask? Because I am worthless. I can't get a decent girlfriend or a decent anything. I do good in school but I just get so fucking unorganized and lose so much shit I just can't fucking handle it. I procrastinate like there is no tomorrow and I can't help it. I just want to die. I feel like there's nothing that should happen or will ever happen to me until I die. I can't take this. And please actually give me a response, because I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. I have video-like memory's that don't exist of me just putting a gun up to my head and pulling the trigger, just letting go of all humanity. The only thing I pretty much do is browse Facepunch anyway. I'm a waste of life. A absolute complete waste.

    I've never had a father. My mother is 62, and no, this is no joke. She needed help when she was 46 or whatever age she was and she went to the sperm bank and that was how I was born. I've always grown up with an old family. I've never had a dad that I could talk to or a mom I could talk to, due to her being so old. I don't feel that it's the right time to talk to her about this problem. I just need help.

    Another problem is that I'm extremely insecure. I have acne all over my face and no matter what I do it doesn't go away. I did the towel trick, benzoyl peroxide, proactiv, everything. And I'm afraid of scars the most. The fucking imagination of scars all over my face because I couldn't help but rubbing the pimple until it fell off.

    I feel like my resort is just going to suicide. What if I don't get through college like planned? Oh, suicide. What if I don't get through High School as planned? Suicide. What if I end up alone and empty when I'm only 23? Suicide.
    I need some fucking help. Badly. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go out in public without worrying how I look. I can't imagine anyone thinking I look decent or even half-ugly. I'm just ugly in general in my own opinion. My reputation isn't exactly the best either. The friends I have don't even know about this. They don't think of what I go through. I get called a douche, a dick, ugly, no life, gay, ect every single motherfucking day. I get threats of people beating me up afterschool. I don't know what to do.
    Should I see my counselor? What do I do facepunch?

    (if you have tips on how to treat my acne or something I would really appreciate them, I'd like a serious response from this)
    I've decided that I'll just not make it anonymous because I can't keep an alt without getting banned for it. I'd like some more tips on what to do because it's getting to the point where's it's all the time.
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  9. Post #809
    Xyzzy's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,053 Posts
    I've decided that I'll just not make it anonymous because I can't keep an alt without getting banned for it. I'd like some more tips on what to do because it's getting to the point where's it's all the time.
    GET HELP. Seriously. Talk to your counselor, a therapist, a friend, whatever. Just talk to someone about it, face to face. There's no reason to go around living life feeling like you're worthless, 'cause you're not. Don't even wait any longer to get help. Suicide is never the solution.
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  10. Post #810
    Gold Member
    The First 11'er's Avatar
    January 2011
    3,724 Posts
    GET HELP. Seriously. Talk to your counselor, a therapist, a friend, whatever. Just talk to someone about it, face to face. There's no reason to go around living life feeling like you're worthless, 'cause you're not. Don't even wait any longer to get help. Suicide is never the solution.
    But I really can't help it. Everyone insults me and I'm sick of it. I can't stop it no matter what and if I tell them to just stop they'll just continue and think they're cool and shit. It seems like the only way out.

  11. Post #811
    Xyzzy's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,053 Posts
    But I really can't help it. Everyone insults me and I'm sick of it. I can't stop it no matter what and if I tell them to just stop they'll just continue and think they're cool and shit. It seems like the only way out.
    Don't even think about them for the moment. Your first order of business should be to talk to a therapist. Once you talk to someone who knows how to deal with this kind of thing, then you can start working your way away from a suicidal mindset.
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  12. Post #812
    Gold Member
    hexpunK's Avatar
    August 2008
    15,659 Posts
    But I really can't help it. Everyone insults me and I'm sick of it. I can't stop it no matter what and if I tell them to just stop they'll just continue and think they're cool and shit. It seems like the only way out.
    You know counsellors, therapists and all the other mental health services out there deal with weirder, and much more severe shit every day right? They won't laugh at you if they want to keep a job, they are there to help you, you are paying them after all in most cases.

    Just man up a bit, see some form of counsellor, and see how it goes from there.
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  13. Post #813
    Gold Member
    The First 11'er's Avatar
    January 2011
    3,724 Posts
    You know counsellors, therapists and all the other mental health services out there deal with weirder, and much more severe shit every day right? They won't laugh at you if they want to keep a job, they are there to help you, you are paying them after all in most cases.

    Just man up a bit, see some form of counsellor, and see how it goes from there.
    Yes I do realize that but it's not what you think.

  14. Post #814
    Azaer's Avatar
    November 2010
    572 Posts
    Edit: Displayed a double post that wasn't there so I snipped my post, damnit.

    Yes I do realize that but it's not what you think.
    Then what is the problem? My depression usually comes from not understanding my issues, instead of the actual issues. I don't know about you, but I know articulating a problem as exactly as I can manage helps me get over depression.

    And on the 'being made fun of' thing I find it useful to just give them a blank stare (maybe even make it look dissapointed). If you can manage to look serious while doing it I suppose something like shacking your head or raising your eyebrow would work too. Basically let them know you heard them, but at the same time let them know you, in fact, don't give a fuck.

  15. Post #815
    I am An Hero!
    GeneralMastiff's Avatar
    March 2011
    221 Posts
    This is going to be my Anonymous Confession. I was going to post it as a thread on an alt account, but I decided not to. Disregard the email name or whatever, I use this as an anonymous email. Please try to keep this in a different post, I need some one to help me and I think some people will read it more.

    I am 15 and I am a Sophmore in High School and I (think) I suffer from extreme depression. All starting last year I have thoughts throughout the day of killing myself after any little incident that has happened. I don't know what to do. I'm insecure and I think I'm a total waste of life. I'm bullied around to the point where I just want to quit life. I don't want to be put through all the troubles...I feel like my resort is just going to suicide. What if I don't get through college like planned? Oh, suicide. What if I don't get through High School as planned? Suicide. What if I end up alone and empty when I'm only 23? Suicide.
    I need some fucking help. Badly. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go out in public without worrying how I look. I can't imagine anyone thinking I look decent or even half-ugly. I'm just ugly in general in my own opinion. My reputation isn't exactly the best either. The friends I have don't even know about this. They don't think of what I go through. I get called a douche, a dick, ugly, no life, gay, ect every single motherfucking day. I get threats of people beating me up afterschool. I don't know what to do.
    Should I see my counselor? What do I do facepunch?
    I know how you feel, bro :smith:

  16. Post #816
    I DRAW SEALS
    xxfalconxx's Avatar
    March 2009
    6,089 Posts
    This is going to be my Anonymous Confession. I was going to post it as a thread on an alt account, but I decided not to. Disregard the email name or whatever, I use this as an anonymous email. Please try to keep this in a different post, I need some one to help me and I think some people will read it more.

    I am 15 and I am a Sophmore in High School and I (think) I suffer from extreme depression. All starting last year I have thoughts throughout the day of killing myself after any little incident that has happened. I don't know what to do. I'm insecure and I think I'm a total waste of life. I'm bullied around to the point where I just want to quit life. I don't want to be put through all the troubles...I feel like my resort is just going to suicide. What if I don't get through college like planned? Oh, suicide. What if I don't get through High School as planned? Suicide. What if I end up alone and empty when I'm only 23? Suicide.
    I need some fucking help. Badly. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't go out in public without worrying how I look. I can't imagine anyone thinking I look decent or even half-ugly. I'm just ugly in general in my own opinion. My reputation isn't exactly the best either. The friends I have don't even know about this. They don't think of what I go through. I get called a douche, a dick, ugly, no life, gay, ect every single motherfucking day. I get threats of people beating me up afterschool. I don't know what to do.
    Should I see my counselor? What do I do facepunch?
    First off, why aren't you sharing this with your friends? If they're your friends they can truly help you out with this kind of thing. I myself had a similar problem back when I was 15. It was freshman year. I was the smallest kid in the entire school. I looked like a goddamn 6th grader, and had the anger bottling capacity of a small child. I got angry. A lot. This made me very unpopular except with maybe 2 people, and the librarians. I spent every day after lunch in that library, just chatting away with them. it was nice to let out some steam. I had a group of kids who, every day after my 5th period, would follow me down the halls, jeering and yelling.

    one day, after months of depression, anger, and a series of awful grades, I'd had it. I just kind of snapped. As the kids followed me in the hall that day, I stopped. They stopped right behind me, still jeering. So I kicked one of their kneecaps in. Bent it entirely concave with a well placed horse kick. I was so small, that as his friends tended to their newly hurt leader, I got off scott free. It felt liberating that day. Learning that I don't have to take shit from people. I passed my classes, and never heard of them again. In fact, they tried to be my friends shortly afterwards, but I simply stated that I was willing to kick their knees in again should they ever get near me. Which led to sophmore year. Ugh. Another bully. A singular one this time, but damn was he annoying. Same thing as before, my parents constantly said to just leave it alone, he's probably emotionally unstable, etc. I wound up punching him in the gut in one of the bathrooms. Shortly after, he became my friend. Not sure how it happened. Junior year. A band of chicks. one fat as a goddamn cow/pig hybrid and annoying as a banshee, 3 others so lipsticked up and makeup'd that they looked like raccoons with cakes on their faces. Again, same thing. I took it for about half the year, making more friends this time as my growth finally kicked in, until one day I snapped and made a fuckton of fat jokes at fat leader. She cried and left school for a week.

    Fast forward to today. Senior year. I've got a period I can work in the library with my closest friend (I've known the librarian for 4 years now. He's kept me stable when I was sad), and i'm certainly a lot calmer now. I really don't care about things now. Call it senioritis, but when you start getting older you find yourself focusing on the more important things in life. So what if you've got bad acne. I know the funniest kid in school, and the kid's a walking pus factory. So what if you don't make it into the college you want. You can take a tech college and get that core grade up. Nothing is permanent. if you don't let them get to you, they can't touch you. Talk to your friends. It helps. A lot. I went from being an emotionally unstable teenager to a fully functioning adult only with the help of friends and family. Talk to your parent, even if she's old, she's got a wealth of knowledge. Don't suffer in silence like I did. Believe me. It doesn't help. You know that saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but names never hurt me"? Yeah that's bullshit. Don't take the shit and people won't give it to you. That's about all the advice I can really give on this subject, at least from personal experience. I might have left some things out, but that's ok. I hope this helps you man. I know how hard things can get but they get better.

    quick edit:
    I realized I forgot to mention something. I'm 19 and I haven't had a single girlfriend. Not a one. Do I give a fuck? No. I want one, naturally, but right now I just want a job so I can get skyrim. Girlfriends can wait. They're not as important to me.
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  17. Post #817
    coolmzn222's Avatar
    September 2009
    786 Posts
    First off, why aren't you sharing this with your friends? If they're your friends they can truly help you out with this kind of thing. I myself had a similar problem back when I was 15. It was freshman year. I was the smallest kid in the entire school. I looked like a goddamn 6th grader, and had the anger bottling capacity of a small child. I got angry. A lot. This made me very unpopular except with maybe 2 people, and the librarians. I spent every day after lunch in that library, just chatting away with them. it was nice to let out some steam. I had a group of kids who, every day after my 5th period, would follow me down the halls, jeering and yelling.

    one day, after months of depression, anger, and a series of awful grades, I'd had it. I just kind of snapped. As the kids followed me in the hall that day, I stopped. They stopped right behind me, still jeering. So I kicked one of their kneecaps in. Bent it entirely concave with a well placed horse kick. I was so small, that as his friends tended to their newly hurt leader, I got off scott free. It felt liberating that day. Learning that I don't have to take shit from people. I passed my classes, and never heard of them again. In fact, they tried to be my friends shortly afterwards, but I simply stated that I was willing to kick their knees in again should they ever get near me. Which led to sophmore year. Ugh. Another bully. A singular one this time, but damn was he annoying. Same thing as before, my parents constantly said to just leave it alone, he's probably emotionally unstable, etc. I wound up punching him in the gut in one of the bathrooms. Shortly after, he became my friend. Not sure how it happened. Junior year. A band of chicks. one fat as a goddamn cow/pig hybrid and annoying as a banshee, 3 others so lipsticked up and makeup'd that they looked like raccoons with cakes on their faces. Again, same thing. I took it for about half the year, making more friends this time as my growth finally kicked in, until one day I snapped and made a fuckton of fat jokes at fat leader. She cried and left school for a week.

    Fast forward to today. Senior year. I've got a period I can work in the library with my closest friend (I've known the librarian for 4 years now. He's kept me stable when I was sad), and i'm certainly a lot calmer now. I really don't care about things now. Call it senioritis, but when you start getting older you find yourself focusing on the more important things in life. So what if you've got bad acne. I know the funniest kid in school, and the kid's a walking pus factory. So what if you don't make it into the college you want. You can take a tech college and get that core grade up. Nothing is permanent. if you don't let them get to you, they can't touch you. Talk to your friends. It helps. A lot. I went from being an emotionally unstable teenager to a fully functioning adult only with the help of friends and family. Talk to your parent, even if she's old, she's got a wealth of knowledge. Don't suffer in silence like I did. Believe me. It doesn't help. You know that saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but names never hurt me"? Yeah that's bullshit. Don't take the shit and people won't give it to you. That's about all the advice I can really give on this subject, at least from personal experience. I might have left some things out, but that's ok. I hope this helps you man. I know how hard things can get but they get better.
    I cannot decide between heart or winner, so I posted to say this, good job, man.
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  18. Post #818
    LOO POO'S BIG FAN !!!!!!!! LOVES SHITPOSTING ALMOST AS MUCH!!!!
    Yahnich's Avatar
    October 2009
    9,135 Posts
    I find the thought of women being killed in as gory a fashion as possible exciting. Preferably with the use of a pump. Nothing excites me more than the idea of a woman's stomach and intestines filling with gas and her body straining to contain the pressure. Even better if they're wearing latex.

    If they can't contain it and have to let it out, so be it. But in the end, they gotta' be pumped up.

    Reply if you think this is messed up or not.
    what the fuck
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  19. Post #819
    bunnyspy1's Avatar
    August 2009
    4,246 Posts
    I think he must go to deviantart a lot.
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  20. Post #820
    coolmzn222's Avatar
    September 2009
    786 Posts
    what the fuck
    5 bucks that it's Ryu-Gi
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  21. Post #821
    I ROLL THE NICKELS
    CodeMonkey3's Avatar
    October 2008
    18,072 Posts
    Dear, OogalaBoogal

    I got laid.

    - Anonymous
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  22. Post #822
    Gold Member
    Zakkin's Avatar
    August 2009
    5,906 Posts
    But I really can't help it. Everyone insults me and I'm sick of it. I can't stop it no matter what and if I tell them to just stop they'll just continue and think they're cool and shit. It seems like the only way out.
    Words are words, nothing more, nothing less. They cannot and should not harm, and they are easier than you think to deflect. Anyone who tries to put you down is just a common dickhead, and should be treated as such. You're 15, which means you're not even starting to get the hang of life. This time of the life should be spent kickin' back and not giving a fuck (Unless exams. Then give a fuck or three.) Afterwards, get a job, jobs lead to friends, and still give no fucks to the dickheads- there will always be a dickhead, don't worry. soon you'll realise how easy it is to not give a fuck about them. Some people think their whole life is based upon what they're currently treated like, and it's fucking well not.
    You may think you have a bad future ahead of you- or worse, no future- but that's a lie. you cannot predict your own future. no-one can. Go on, make something of yourself and cope with these shitty years and prepare for a future of fun. Sure, there's downs, but that's life and just because you're having some now doesn't mean it's the end of the line.

    When things are at their most down, the only way is up.
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  23. Post #823
    third nipple's Avatar
    November 2011
    4 Posts
    I realized I forgot to mention something. I'm 19 and I haven't had a single girlfriend. Not a one. Do I give a fuck? No. I want one, naturally, but right now I just want a job so I can get skyrim. Girlfriends can wait. They're not as important to me.
    gay nerd bitch
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  24. Post #824
    LOO POO'S BIG FAN !!!!!!!! LOVES SHITPOSTING ALMOST AS MUCH!!!!
    Yahnich's Avatar
    October 2009
    9,135 Posts
    gay nerd bitch
    third nipples are generally undesired and cut off
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  25. Post #825
    Gold Member
    OogalaBoogal's Avatar
    November 2008
    4,081 Posts
    Dear, OogalaBoogal

    I got laid.

    - Anonymous
    I'm highly doubtful that's a real confession. But anyway. Time for a new batch.

    hey bro I just wanna say that I am a closet brony

    As of 5-6 months I've been fucking around with EQD and fimfiction.net

    since I can't think up a way to describe/explain what I do, here goes:

    -I've watched most of the episodes
    -I read porn fanfics w/ loud orchestrally dramatic soundtracks playing, and I often use ATTS to read em for me. Fun shit.
    -I'm only 12, but I somehow managed to master the basics of the english language ( I am a gay mexican nig living in some faggy thirld world country ) and I love rap music even tho I'm the whitest kid in class


    and uhm yeah that's it

    OH

    -I also browse rule 34 for MLP pictures to turn into sprays so I can annoy the fuck out of people in src games

    and yeah uhm that's about it I guess


    also I'd like all those show-off 'bronies' to fuck off. Shit's gay n you shouldn't be telling the whole world about your horse fucking fetish

    AND ALSO I have never obtained a boner from reading/watching/doing any pony related shit

    I had a boner once and when I went to check for r34 sprays my boner went fucking limp. ( and I had to piss afterwards. )

    so yeah there you go. BTW I got perma'd for posting dog porn. Could I get unban'd? I'd really like to get back to lurking without being forced to uhm, you know, shit.
    I honestly don't care if people post their brony stuff. It just has to be actually funny, something MLP memes have yet to accomplish.

    Hey o! Its me the wasp guy :D here to enlighten you and whoever reads this with a story

    In 9th grade (in college now) I had an art class with my 2 of my friends and I was introduced to one of their friends who happened to be a girl(This is before something explainable happened and I was still a fun guy to hang around with). We seemed to like similar things we both seemed to be pervy and everything. Most of the days in art class we just spent the time trying to grab each other crotches and me trying to grab her boobs, this was in front of everyone even the teacher yet no one ever called us on it. She looked nice, nice brown hair clear skin as white as snow she was very beautiful girl. At the time I didn't like her and we kept this up for the year in art, then next year I decided to tell her that I liked her. Oh god did that end badly, instead of telling me no she wrote an essay basically telling me no over and over and over.. It threw me into a depression for a week then it surfaced that she was part of some sexting thing and I suddenly became glad she didn't like me and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The best part is that I was sitting next to the person that sext was sent to in math class (it kinda was a threat saying :"I'll show everyone this ect ect ect really stereotypical highschool stuff) none the less every guy in our math class saw it and is still probably in our memories, I don't believe in karma but man if ain't that it I don't know what it was.

    Fast forward to where we are now I've become a very apathetic misanthropic person. Then one day over the recent summer me and my friend received news that the same girl that I liked, her dad died in motorcycle accident. My friend was appalled by it I was overwhelmed with joy, but of course I made it seem I was concerned at the moment with people around. But when I went into the bathroom I locked the door and smiled, that smile was one of a kind it gave me so much joy. Go three days down the road and the same friend told me she tried to commit suicide but failed, once again I was filled with such a joy its incomprehensible, I would have been happy to know that she died but knowing she failed at that and now has to live the rest of her life with that hanging over her head.She is now a sad depressing mess of a junkie and I couldn't be happier. The joy I had those days were incredible...

    That's all I have for now, once again comment on whatever you see fit say whatever you want.

    Cheers mate!
    What the hell is wrong with you. Don't hold grudges like that. You could have talked to her and made her feel better, but no, you have no sense of compassion. And the worst part is, you don't even doubt yourself about it. You need help.

    I will, one day, make a fp anon confessional website so OP can be free from looking everyday his emails and will increase the threads popularity to a burning point that we can fap together, forever. Webdevs will succeed!

    Love me OP and together we live in harmony harmony oh love!
    Not really. Hezzy had a blog that he posted all the confessions on. It wasn't successful as the threads because it doesn't have the visibility of being in the center of the GD. Not as many people read them over there.

    I don't know anything about my self. At all.

    I have so many personalities, but I don't know which one I am and have parents how can be selfish arse holes and friends I am literally on the edge of breaking every bone in their body. I have test exams and shit and not one of them I give to flying fucks for.

    Help..
    Parents just don't get it sometimes. If you feel that way about your friends, you should probably get new ones.

  26. Post #826
    Chezhead's Avatar
    December 2009
    7,270 Posts
    Hm, where to start.



    Two summers ago (I’m now in college) we had a wasp problem it wasn’t really affecting our house so much as it only appeared they liked my room, I would wake up from sleeping and se about 5-6 wasps on the inside of my window and shit ton more outside I don’t know what was going on cause they seemed docile even with me hovering over them. At first I just crushed them cause they were a annoyance then after a day or so I started picking them up in with a sock and dropping them in a popcorn jar, a small one from some stupid fundraiser that we paid 15$ for… Anyway, after I had a couple in there I would sometimes spray them with air freshener and stuff like that and see how they react. After I got bored of that I would get new ones and I would pick them up with something so they weren’t able to move it worked well as I didn’t have to worry about getting stung. And here I would cut off their antenna and stuff like that, they really really hate it when you shove a thumb tack down their mouths. I would see how long they would survive without nutrients and body deformities (aka without a thorax most of the time). I remember one time I pinned down the wasp by one of its wings and gave it a face full of sharpie marker, that was hilarious. When I told one of my friends they thought it was really strange and sociopathic or something but that's just who I am, I think he asked me if I felt anything when I was doing this and I responded with :"they are insects why do I care if they feel pain" and that really threw him through a loop. I think I’ll stop here for now. I might have 2 other stories for you and the forums. [You can say whatever when you post it on facepunch serious funny whatever I don’t mind if it is insulting or anything]

    Cheers mate
    Fuck wasps, that is a reasonable way to deal with them. Actually, make them suffer even more.
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  27. Post #827
    THE WASP GUY
    notebook_holder's Avatar
    March 2010
    283 Posts
    Good god the recent confession 'wasp guy' ... The hell is wrong with him/her/it. What the hell goes through a persons mind to think like that.
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  28. Post #828
    Djentleman's Avatar
    October 2011
    294 Posts
    "Cool, now you suck mine"
    "Naw, man"he said, and went to sleep.
    I'd smack a bitch if he/she refused to return the favour. Whoever sent this in is beta as fuck.
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  29. Post #829
    OFWGKTA
    jbthekid's Avatar
    July 2011
    9,689 Posts
    This is the most fucked up thread I've seen. I can't stop reading though.
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  30. Post #830
    THE WASP GUY
    notebook_holder's Avatar
    March 2010
    283 Posts
    The thread is really fascinating. I wonder what Psychiatrist would think of all this.
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  31. Post #831
    "The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell"
    Chessnut's Avatar
    August 2011
    3,556 Posts
    He'd be overwhelmed.
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  32. Post #832
    Der FΓΌhrer
    Quark:'s Avatar
    January 2011
    4,108 Posts
    The thread is really fascinating. I wonder what Psychiatrist would think of all this.
    "Dear god, who gave these children internet access?!"
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  33. Post #833
    imasillypiggy's Avatar
    December 2009
    8,851 Posts
    He'd be overwhelmed.
    Seems like another day on the internet to me.
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  34. Post #834
    Gold Member
    The First 11'er's Avatar
    January 2011
    3,724 Posts
    gay nerd bitch
    Now that I've realized it my school is basically filled with Dougs.
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  35. Post #835
    Gold Member
    Cap'nSpacePants's Avatar
    August 2011
    251 Posts
    Hey o! Its me the wasp guy :D here to enlighten you and whoever reads this with a story

    In 9th grade (in college now) I had an art class with my 2 of my friends and I was introduced to one of their friends who happened to be a girl(This is before something explainable happened and I was still a fun guy to hang around with). We seemed to like similar things we both seemed to be pervy and everything. Most of the days in art class we just spent the time trying to grab each other crotches and me trying to grab her boobs, this was in front of everyone even the teacher yet no one ever called us on it. She looked nice, nice brown hair clear skin as white as snow she was very beautiful girl. At the time I didn't like her and we kept this up for the year in art, then next year I decided to tell her that I liked her. Oh god did that end badly, instead of telling me no she wrote an essay basically telling me no over and over and over.. It threw me into a depression for a week then it surfaced that she was part of some sexting thing and I suddenly became glad she didn't like me and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The best part is that I was sitting next to the person that sext was sent to in math class (it kinda was a threat saying :"I'll show everyone this ect ect ect really stereotypical highschool stuff) none the less every guy in our math class saw it and is still probably in our memories, I don't believe in karma but man if ain't that it I don't know what it was.

    Fast forward to where we are now I've become a very apathetic misanthropic person. Then one day over the recent summer me and my friend received news that the same girl that I liked, her dad died in motorcycle accident. My friend was appalled by it I was overwhelmed with joy, but of course I made it seem I was concerned at the moment with people around. But when I went into the bathroom I locked the door and smiled, that smile was one of a kind it gave me so much joy. Go three days down the road and the same friend told me she tried to commit suicide but failed, once again I was filled with such a joy its incomprehensible, I would have been happy to know that she died but knowing she failed at that and now has to live the rest of her life with that hanging over her head.She is now a sad depressing mess of a junkie and I couldn't be happier. The joy I had those days were incredible...

    That's all I have for now, once again comment on whatever you see fit say whatever you want.

    Cheers mate!
    Wow..that is really fucked up. Seriously, how the fuck does the the knowledge of someone loosing their father, and then trying to kill themselves out of grief bring you joy? Especially just cause she refused to go out with you (Sure she was harsh, but still.) As Oogla said get over that grudge you have and realize how much of a dick it makes you.
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  36. Post #836
    Wux
    Wux's Avatar
    January 2011
    1,605 Posts
    Once i've fap thinking about my 9 years old sister, i'm 20
    damn
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  37. Post #837
    iwork3daysaweek's Avatar
    October 2011
    874 Posts
    Hey o! Its me the wasp guy :D here to enlighten you and whoever reads this with a story

    In 9th grade (in college now) I had an art class with my 2 of my friends and I was introduced to one of their friends who happened to be a girl(This is before something explainable happened and I was still a fun guy to hang around with). We seemed to like similar things we both seemed to be pervy and everything. Most of the days in art class we just spent the time trying to grab each other crotches and me trying to grab her boobs, this was in front of everyone even the teacher yet no one ever called us on it. She looked nice, nice brown hair clear skin as white as snow she was very beautiful girl. At the time I didn't like her and we kept this up for the year in art, then next year I decided to tell her that I liked her. Oh god did that end badly, instead of telling me no she wrote an essay basically telling me no over and over and over.. It threw me into a depression for a week then it surfaced that she was part of some sexting thing and I suddenly became glad she didn't like me and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The best part is that I was sitting next to the person that sext was sent to in math class (it kinda was a threat saying :"I'll show everyone this ect ect ect really stereotypical highschool stuff) none the less every guy in our math class saw it and is still probably in our memories, I don't believe in karma but man if ain't that it I don't know what it was.

    Fast forward to where we are now I've become a very apathetic misanthropic person. Then one day over the recent summer me and my friend received news that the same girl that I liked, her dad died in motorcycle accident. My friend was appalled by it I was overwhelmed with joy, but of course I made it seem I was concerned at the moment with people around. But when I went into the bathroom I locked the door and smiled, that smile was one of a kind it gave me so much joy. Go three days down the road and the same friend told me she tried to commit suicide but failed, once again I was filled with such a joy its incomprehensible, I would have been happy to know that she died but knowing she failed at that and now has to live the rest of her life with that hanging over her head.She is now a sad depressing mess of a junkie and I couldn't be happier. The joy I had those days were incredible...

    That's all I have for now, once again comment on whatever you see fit say whatever you want.

    Cheers mate!
    Oh lolololololol

    MAI QUASI HIGHSCHOOL GF FROM WHEN I WUZ 14 TURNED ME DOWN ;___;

    Now fucking at least 5 years later I hate her because she sent a nude pic to someone in highschool. I am now overjoyed at the death of someone completely unrelated to this incident.

    Your logic is so amazing if you were here I'd give you a commendation, neigh, a medal.

    I don't know if you are just really really really angsty or if you are actually sociopathic (the wasp thing I don't consider sociopathic because wasps are complete fuckwits and deserve the worst) but all I can say is that you need to see a psychologist and/or learn how to get over things.

    Cheers mate!
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  38. Post #838
    Wilford Brimley's Avatar
    August 2011
    1,047 Posts
    Oh lolololololol

    MAI QUASI HIGHSCHOOL GF FROM WHEN I WUZ 14 TURNED ME DOWN ;___;

    Now fucking at least 5 years later I hate her because she sent a nude pic to someone in highschool. I am now overjoyed at the death of someone completely unrelated to this incident.

    Your logic is so amazing if you were here I'd give you a commendation, neigh, a medal.

    I don't know if you are just really really really angsty or if you are actually sociopathic (the wasp thing I don't consider sociopathic because wasps are complete fuckwits and deserve the worst) but all I can say is that you need to see a psychologist and/or learn how to get over things.

    Cheers mate!
    > Doesn't know how to be XenocideBot

  39. Post #839
    BlackCrow's Avatar
    August 2011
    487 Posts
    Oh lolololololol

    MAI QUASI HIGHSCHOOL GF FROM WHEN I WUZ 14 TURNED ME DOWN ;___;

    Now fucking at least 5 years later I hate her because she sent a nude pic to someone in highschool. I am now overjoyed at the death of someone completely unrelated to this incident.

    Your logic is so amazing if you were here I'd give you a commendation, neigh, a medal.

    I don't know if you are just really really really angsty or if you are actually sociopathic (the wasp thing I don't consider sociopathic because wasps are complete fuckwits and deserve the worst) but all I can say is that you need to see a psychologist and/or learn how to get over things.

    Cheers mate!
    I agree. And dude, if you believe in karma--Karma is probably gonna killhaul your ass with two semi-trucks and then someone is going to laugh and be filled with glee at YOUR death.
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  40. Post #840
    I ROLL THE NICKELS
    CodeMonkey3's Avatar
    October 2008
    18,072 Posts
    Hahaha this wasp guy is great, I like hearing what people think of him.