1. Post #161
    Gold Member
    KingKombat's Avatar
    April 2009
    11,341 Posts
    I like how we refer to them as batches

    GET YER CONFESSIONS FRESH AND HOT! WE'VE GOT PLENTY IN INCEST FLAVOR!
    i'd like a small order of watermelon incest rape thank you
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  2. Post #162
    Atlascore's Avatar
    June 2011
    8,705 Posts
    That's MaverickIB.

    He got perma'd so now he has to use the thread to be able to communicate with Facepunch.
    MaverickIB got perma'd?

    Fuck, his posts were almost always guaranteed to be hilarious, now what ultra-arrogant douche am I supposed to laugh at?
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  3. Post #163
    Gold Member
    Bytecry's Avatar
    February 2010
    5,459 Posts
    MaverickIB got perma'd?

    Fuck, his posts were almost always guaranteed to be hilarious, now what ultra-arrogant douche am I supposed to laugh at?
    rusty is still here.
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  4. Post #164
    ~gay boi~
    Chickens!'s Avatar
    July 2010
    14,413 Posts
    rusty is still here.
    RIP bytecry
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  5. Post #165
    Shoupie's Avatar
    November 2009
    2,697 Posts
    MaverickIB got perma'd?
    It was a glorious day.
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  6. Post #166
    Potanis's Avatar
    April 2011
    585 Posts
    It was a glorious day.
    blasphemy!
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  7. Post #167
    Gold Member
    OogalaBoogal's Avatar
    November 2008
    4,060 Posts
    I'm only doing this because I've been sitting in front of my computer sucking down Canadian whiskey all night and now it seems like a good idea...for some reason. I'm not going to be anywhere near as funny or entertaining as gorilla man, this is just basic elements of my life that I feel shitty about and never get the chance to tell anyone else. Some are actual deeds, some are just insecurities.

    -The worst thing I've ever done in my life (to date) I did when I was around 16 or 17, I'm not good at connecting memories to exact dates. At the time I was a typical angsty high school fuckup, and I chose to express that through petty crime in the middle of the night. It started with basic urban exploration type stuff, which was generally cool and provided an adrenaline rush, especially that one time I set off a bunch of sirens in a vacant (but still powered) factory and had to high tail it out of there. But anyway, I advanced from that to lots of shoplifting and car shopping. The worst thing I ever did was break into somebody's house at night. I was shit-scared and checked the whole place before confirming it was empty. Because I was basically on the verge of panic, I only took one item with me. I feel really shitty about it because that item is something that has developed into a hobby of mine, and I now empathize with how terrible it would feel to have that stolen from me. I sold it for less than a hundred bucks. That became kind of the low point for criminal behavior as a teenager, and I gradually backed off until I stopped stealing and UE-ing altogether a few years ago. Sometimes I still get afraid that shit I did as a stupid kid is going to come back and bite me again.

    -I do all my drinking late at night, alone. I literally just sit in front of the TV or computer and get drunk, with nobody else in the house awake. I think I actually prefer it to going out to a bar and being the subject of everyone else's scrutiny.

    -I'm a 23-year-old virgin, and I've only had one relationship in my life. It ended with me being told flat-out that I wasn't good enough for this chick after we had been dating (I think) for a solid year. She was the only female that has ever shown even the slightest interest in me, and I'm pretty sure it was just as an emotional laundry basket/friend zone inhabitant. It's a constant daily battle to keep this a closely guarded secret and I've literally been forced to quit jobs before because coworkers have found out. To the people that say it's no big deal: You have no fucking idea the degree to which you get singled out, stigmatized, and picked on when people find out something like that. I am at the point where I invent complex, detailed relationship cover stories to tell coworkers so nobody asks questions about why I'm alone all the time.

    -When I was a young lad, around 12-14, my best friend and I used to touch each other's dicks. I must stress that we never fucked or blew each other or ejaculated in each other's presence, we just...touched our dicks. I don't think I'm emotionally or sexually scarred by it, I'm not outrageously ashamed of it (we were just kids), we just...played with our dicks sometimes. We grew apart when high school started, and now I run into this guy once in a while at the grocery store he works at. Which is really, really weird for me. What do you say to a childhood friend you used to touch dicks with?
    Are you gay?

    I figured I needed to get this out, and this seems like the best way to do it. I'm an 18 year old male who has been in plenty of normal, healthy relationships in my life, but I'm currently in love with a 12 year old girl. I'm not a pedophile, I'm not attracted to children or young girls, it's just this one girl. It's tearing me apart. I feel massive amounts of constant guilt and fear. I've done everything I could think of to try and get any thought I've had about her out of my head. I hate myself. I don't understand why I'm this way or why I have these feelings. The feeling is like an addiction. Stronger than an addiction. No matter how hard I try I can't get past this, I can't stop loving her. I can't talk to anyone about this and I don't know of anyone who can relate to this. I'm alone, scared, depressed, and morally wrecked. I have a problem and I don't know what do.
    Watch pron.

    I have a weird thing where sometimes i think what if?

    For example I might be 30 floors up in a building when i see an open window and ill walk up to it and think what if i jumped out now. But then i start to think about the lives it would affect and feel bad. I would never actually do it because i love my life but i'm always thinking what if. What if i punched this guy next to me? but then he might go home upset thinking hes done something wrong or i was being racist. Im also not violent, never started a fight in my life.

    another confession: i couldnt give a fuck about my grammar right now.
    I do this too, to be honest.

    The poster below was somehow really concerned with security, it had a SHA1 hash attached.
    I suffer a real problem that my life lacks a lot of emotion. That
    is that I'm likely psychopathic, I find others in pain amusing that
    isn't to say I wish pain on others unjustly just if like I see
    someone ride a push bike into a person I find it funny.

    That and I'm completely self centred, when I was younger I used to
    steal money from my parents even though my mum is a single parent
    and works tons to support us. I have absolutely no remorse at
    stealing from people but I only break the law when I'm certain I
    won't be caught or if I need to. Even now I will use my mom's bank
    details to buy something if I don't have the money or can't be
    assed to pay for it myself.

    The thing I worry about is that I've been like this for pretty much
    all of my life I can't see it changing, its just how my head is.
    But with this I never experience love or any family bonds. Theres
    no point approaching people like myself because we all have the
    "fuck you got mine" attitude so would just scam each other until
    one of us noticed.

    the weird part is I've been around normal people long enough that
    now I can fake all the correct responses, so if someone tells me
    their dad etc is ill with cancer I'll be all "oh dear how is he"
    despite the fact I couldn't give a toss and wish they'd hurry up to
    whatever I need them to do. So I suppose I'm doomed to be
    predatorily better but completely empathetically dead without
    people every knowing.
    i once showed my balls to some guy on chatroulette because he thought i was a girl and said i should whip 'em out.

    i'm also starting to think im bi, but im too afraid to tell anyone about it.
    Chatroulette is just generally a bad idea.
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  8. Post #168
    Gold Member
    Lick's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,608 Posts
    There has to be a correlation between this forum and sexually confused teenagers
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  9. Post #169
    Gold Member
    Andokool12's Avatar
    November 2008
    12,810 Posts
    I figured I needed to get this out, and this seems like the best way to do it. I'm an 18 year old male who has been in plenty of normal, healthy relationships in my life, but I'm currently in love with a 12 year old girl. I'm not a pedophile, I'm not attracted to children or young girls, it's just this one girl. It's tearing me apart. I feel massive amounts of constant guilt and fear. I've done everything I could think of to try and get any thought I've had about her out of my head. I hate myself. I don't understand why I'm this way or why I have these feelings. The feeling is like an addiction. Stronger than an addiction. No matter how hard I try I can't get past this, I can't stop loving her. I can't talk to anyone about this and I don't know of anyone who can relate to this. I'm alone, scared, depressed, and morally wrecked. I have a problem and I don't know what do.
    Unfortunately, love does not follow the law. I can't give you any advice because I know how intense love gets, and I can only imagine how much it must suck to be in love with somebody where it puts you in a position where telling people will get you in trouble/diagnosed with something.

    You have nobody to blame but society. Society sucks sometimes, and it fails largely in the field of understanding. Love is uncontrollable. Now, if it were an 8 year old or something, I think that's where you'd without a doubt have an issue.

    But yeah watch porn.
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  10. Post #170
    Giving Away Games
    WastedJamacan's Avatar
    December 2009
    4,114 Posts
    There has to be a correlation between this thread and sexually confused teenagers
    I think this is the more likely.
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  11. Post #171
    Gold Member
    BananaFoam's Avatar
    January 2010
    4,862 Posts
    Jesus Christ the OP sucks. I mean, he updates like every other fucking day.

    Yeah, I doubt this thread is going to get off the ground at this rate. Tell him to get his ass back here and get us another batch of fucking confessions! We need more incest rape!

    (User was banned for this post ("Why reply?" - Starpluck))
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  12. Post #172
    Gold Member
    mechanarchy's Avatar
    September 2009
    1,214 Posts
    Jesus Christ the OP sucks. I mean, he updates like every other fucking day.

    Yeah, I doubt this thread is going to get off the ground at this rate. Tell him to get his ass back here and get us another batch of fucking confessions! We need more incest rape!
    It might not be that the OP doesn't update it frequently so much as there is no content to update with. Go submit your repressed memories
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  13. Post #173
    Gold Member
    BananaFoam's Avatar
    January 2010
    4,862 Posts
    It might not be that the OP doesn't update it frequently so much as there is no content to update with. Go submit your repressed memories
    There should be plenty, I would hope.

    Then again, I'm sure many have said there's last time and all the new folks will just troll him.
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  14. Post #174
    HAND.CAT
    barttool's Avatar
    July 2010
    4,600 Posts
    Unfortunately, love does not follow the law. I can't give you any advice because I know how intense love gets, and I can only imagine how much it must suck to be in love with somebody where it puts you in a position where telling people will get you in trouble/diagnosed with something.

    You have nobody to blame but society. Society sucks sometimes, and it fails largely in the field of understanding. Love is uncontrollable. Now, if it were an 8 year old or something, I think that's where you'd without a doubt have an issue.

    But yeah watch porn.
    I agreed with you right until the second paragraph. Society is not at blame, it is wrong trying to have a love relationship with a 12 year old child, and the poster acknowledges it, so he's got his shit right, but as you said, love sometimes doesn't follow the rules and you end up falling in love of a young girl, you're not at blame really. I for one once fell in love with a 13 year old while I was 17, to my defense I honestly thought she was 16 until I actually met her.
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  15. Post #175
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    I agreed with you right until the second paragraph. Society is not at blame, it is wrong trying to have a love relationship with a 12 year old child, and the poster acknowledges it, so he's got his shit right, but as you said, love sometimes doesn't follow the rules and you end up falling in love of a young girl, you're not at blame really. I for one once fell in love with a 13 year old while I was 17, to my defense I honestly thought she was 16 until I actually met her.
    Back in time, 40 year old men married and fucked tons of pre-pubescent girls. It is actually natural. I wouldn't do it, but there you go.
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  16. Post #176
    Fahrenheit's Avatar
    May 2007
    492 Posts
    I for one once fell in love with a 13 year old while I was 17, to my defense I honestly thought she was 16 until I actually met her.
    same exact situation with same ages. sucked when i realized she was so young. i felt like a creep
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  17. Post #177
    Official Bro of DD

    June 2010
    13,642 Posts
    -woops-
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  18. Post #178
    Moderator
    Seiteki's Avatar
    September 2005
    12,259 Posts
    I once flirted with a girl at a party the whole night and I thought she was into me so I stole her phone because I knew I'd be the last person she'd suspect
    Facepunch Anonymous Confessional
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  19. Post #179
    That really should be bannable. It just ruins the thread.

    Even if we don't know which one, it singles them out, and destroys the sense of not knowing who it is.
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  20. Post #180
    I JUST WANT A CUSTOM TITLE FUCK YOU ALL
    Chubbles's Avatar
    December 2010
    2,465 Posts
    I have a weird thing where sometimes i think what if?

    For example I might be 30 floors up in a building when i see an open window and ill walk up to it and think what if i jumped out now. But then i start to think about the lives it would affect and feel bad. I would never actually do it because i love my life but i'm always thinking what if. What if i punched this guy next to me? but then he might go home upset thinking hes done something wrong or i was being racist. Im also not violent, never started a fight in my life.

    another confession: i couldnt give a fuck about my grammar right now.
    I always do that too! I think it's fun! It definitely lets you think about your life more in depth.

    Edited:

    I figured I needed to get this out, and this seems like the best way to do it. I'm an 18 year old male who has been in plenty of normal, healthy relationships in my life, but I'm currently in love with a 12 year old girl. I'm not a pedophile, I'm not attracted to children or young girls, it's just this one girl. It's tearing me apart. I feel massive amounts of constant guilt and fear. I've done everything I could think of to try and get any thought I've had about her out of my head. I hate myself. I don't understand why I'm this way or why I have these feelings. The feeling is like an addiction. Stronger than an addiction. No matter how hard I try I can't get past this, I can't stop loving her. I can't talk to anyone about this and I don't know of anyone who can relate to this. I'm alone, scared, depressed, and morally wrecked. I have a problem and I don't know what do.
    My parents are 7 years apart. Just wait 'til she's older, silly.
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  21. Post #181
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    May 2009
    3,379 Posts
    I sent in a confession like three days ago but it never got posted.

    Oh well.
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  22. Post #182
    HAND.CAT
    barttool's Avatar
    July 2010
    4,600 Posts
    please, stop saying you sent one confession, or else this thread is going to turn into a ban hammer fuckfest.
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  23. Post #183
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    May 2009
    3,379 Posts
    please, stop saying you sent one confession, or else this thread is going to turn into a ban hammer fuckfest.
    ... lol? I didn't label a confession as mine, I was just noting there must have been some problem with the email getting sent.
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  24. Post #184
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    I didn't send one in.

    What?
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  25. Post #185
    Gold Member
    Nystical's Avatar
    July 2009
    1,335 Posts
    I went back and read v6 and I saw this one:

    So about 3 weeks ago, I was messing around with this new website I found. It sends multiple messages to whoever you want via text message. So I decided to fuck with some girl I liked. So I sent her 30 messages saying “YOU’RE A SLUT” and since I had her sister’s number I decided to send 10 messages saying “LOOK AT YOUR SISTER’S PHONE”. It was lulzy, none the less. She complained on her Facebook that some guy was “hacking her phone with perverted messages.” I laughed, and then went on with my normal routine. About a week later, this faggot who went to my school asked out my friend’s girlfriend, even though he knew that he was with her. So I decided to use the website to fuck with him. He had no idea what my number was, so I decided to send him one message before I unveil a barrage of 50 messages. I sent him “Don’t fuck with (friend’s name).” And I sent the messages. About 3 hours later, the girl who I spammed the week before sent me a message saying “Why do you think I’m a slut?” I was awestricken. How could she have known it was me?! Then I realized. The faggot just so happened to be a childhood friend of the girl I liked and he asked if she knew the person who sent the messages to him. (Remember that I sent if a message via MY phone before I sent all the messages via the website.) And so I decided to tell a lie. I sent “I never said that. What are you talking about?” And then she forwarded the conversation of her and Dr. Faggot to me. I then started thinking about what I should do next. But then she sent me another message saying “It was flattering <3.” I seriously fell off of my chair I was sitting on. I then sent her a message saying “Wow I didn’t really mean for it to be flattering I was just playing a joke on you.” About 30 seconds later she replied “Well that’s a shame; I fingered myself to the image of myself being a slut.” Now I was freaking out. The ONE time I could get a chance with this girl and turns out to be an actual slut. Now she won’t talk to me, what do, Hezzy?
    I think I know the site they used, www.uronimo.com
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  26. Post #186
    Unfortunately, love does not follow the law. I can't give you any advice because I know how intense love gets, and I can only imagine how much it must suck to be in love with somebody where it puts you in a position where telling people will get you in trouble/diagnosed with something.

    You have nobody to blame but society. Society sucks sometimes, and it fails largely in the field of understanding. Love is uncontrollable. Now, if it were an 8 year old or something, I think that's where you'd without a doubt have an issue.

    But yeah watch porn.
    Love is free, let everyone love as they please, be they 20 or 12. Just not 8.
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  27. Post #187
    Gold Member
    OogalaBoogal's Avatar
    November 2008
    4,060 Posts
    Jesus Christ the OP sucks. I mean, he updates like every other fucking day.

    Yeah, I doubt this thread is going to get off the ground at this rate. Tell him to get his ass back here and get us another batch of fucking confessions! We need more incest rape!
    I update once a day, with at least 5 confessions. I missed a single day. Posting in batches is what was done, and is what I'll keep on doing.
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  28. Post #188
    Back in time, 40 year old men married and fucked tons of pre-pubescent girls. It is actually natural. I wouldn't do it, but there you go.
    It is, love and sexual attraction are really just gears in the machinery of successful reproduction. As soon as they can bear a child, they should be able to cause sexual attraction. Of course, by this point in society, we don't need to breed as soon as we can so it's more profitable now to simply wait a while.
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  29. Post #189
    Gold Member
    KingKombat's Avatar
    April 2009
    11,341 Posts
    I went back and read v6 and I saw this one:



    I think I know the site they used, www.uronimo.com
    I literally stopped chewing my fucking food when I read the end
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  30. Post #190
    Gold Member
    Bredirish123's Avatar
    October 2006
    9,231 Posts
    Damn these are hilarious. It's really not any worse without Hezzy to be honest.
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  31. Post #191
    HUGE NERD
    Dacheet's Avatar
    November 2007
    6,304 Posts
    I'm waiting for the wincest. :q:
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  32. Post #192
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    Twincest?
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  33. Post #193
    HAND.CAT
    barttool's Avatar
    July 2010
    4,600 Posts
    Twincest?
    Please.
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  34. Post #194
    Hans-Gunther 3.'s Avatar
    May 2011
    2,706 Posts
    I want to hear more confessions about watermelons, watermelons are awesome!

  35. Post #195
    Gold Member
    OogalaBoogal's Avatar
    November 2008
    4,060 Posts
    I'm sorry everyone, a lot less funny stories and this one, help these poor people out, give them advice.
    Wow, I cannot believe I'm doing this. I mean, I must be drunk or stupid, but Jesus man, you're going to fucking love this.

    Alright, let's get on with it.

    So here's the setup: I'm at my Uncles house way down South. I had been visiting for nearly a week, as I live far North in the frigid Midwest. (Okay, the weathers not that bad)

    Anyways, I had been staying at a hotel for pretty much the entire trip, only occasionally visiting their house. Most of the time we would just go out to eat or- You know what, fuck this, I'm tired of stalling let me tell you outright what happened:

    I fucked their dog.

    So, it happened like this: One of their sons just left for boot-camp for the U.S. Marines, so whoop-di-fucking-doo I get to stay in his old room...with the dog.
    Yeah, the dogs kennel is apparently in his room. Anyways, this was a pretty big dock, black in color with white spots. I don't exactly remember the breed but they called it Mercedes, or just Cedes, you know, after the car.

    Anyways, so it's late at night (Like, almost fucking midnight) and I'm sitting in this bed. I like dogs (NOT in that way) so I decided to let it sleep at the foot of the bed. It finally calms down and my cousins go to their rooms respectively. Anyways, this dog immediately flips it shit and gets up and stands over me. This dog always seemed attracted to me, but more in a friendly sense that all dogs usually have. But this thing starts licking my face and making weird thrusting motion (Keep in mind, it IS a female).

    At first I was repulsed, but I had a raging boner and could tell this thing, well, it wanted to make sexytime to me.

    So we did.

    First, I grab this thing by the head, whip my dick out, and make it lick it. It obeys, but it's coarse tongue feels like fucking sandpaper being scraped on my dick. So I did the logical thing, I pry open it's jaws and start deep-throating it. Still, I wasn't really satisfied with my doggy-blow-job and it was still horny, so I reach back and rubbed it pussy. It's starts making weird thrusting motions again. So I move down, and, well, you know, I fucked it.

    Hell, I didn't just fuck it, I did it the way it was meant to be done: Doggy Style

    The next morning I hardly spoke. I feel real bad because my Uncle and his family are "Christians" ( Christians=Hypocrites) and I couldn't stand to look at that dog, nor the Jesus statue hanging on the wall. I felt disgusted.

    And the sad part is that's not even the most embarrassing, gross, terrible thing I've done.

    No, I would never in One-Thousand years tell you my most embarrassing story. But I'll give you a hint: it involves pedophilia, rape, incest, and homosexual acts.

    Wow, now that I dug that out of the deepest, darkest, black pit in my mind I feel like killing myself.

    (BTW when typing the Dog Story, I got the weirdest fucking boner, even though I'm not remotely attracted to dogs, well, except for that one. Seriously, I live with a dog but there is no way in holy-hell I would ever, ever, do that again.)
    Hot Dawg.

    Never done this before.

    I'm incredibly depressed and my girlfriend is a feminist. She constantly watches over my shoulder to see what I'm doing on the computer, so I have literally no privacy whatsoever.
    I get annoyed whenever she goes into one of her feminist rages when I'm watching some random video about guys having point of views on feminism today. I don't even actively seek them out to watch, I just usually end up seeing the odd one posted on facepunch.
    It doesn't help that whenever I'm just playing rough with her and being silly that she has to somehow work rapists into it. Like when I'm just holding her back from running away because we're chasing each other, one thing leads to another and we have little joke discussions and she proclaims "that's rape logic".

    I probably sound like some "neckbeard" pussy male who can't deal with women. But it just annoys me. It seems I can't say anything without offending her. Nothing is good enough.
    I work menial hours in fast food and I prefer the time I spend there over the time spent with her sometimes.

    My enjoyment for making music is completely dead and I can't compose anything during the day because there's too many people around, and I'm afraid that they're constantly judging me and my music (I used to have my computer in my own room before I moved in with my girlfriend).
    I have to wait till the early hours of the morn to do anything, and even then she comes along and drags me to bed.

    I used to draw all the time, but I can't even do that because she looks over at my shoulder and comments on what I'm drawing, when I just want to be left alone to my thoughts, which is the whole point of why I draw. Same for music really.
    I take anti depressants, which barely work anymore. I only have a months supply left, and every time I try to go off them, I always come straight back.
    I failed my final year of school, and now can't see myself excelling in anything anywhere in the future.


    I wish I'd gotten a pack of beer tonight. At least it'd make it go by quicker.

    I guess that's all I have to say.
    Tell her your feelings. Really. If she doesn't care, find a better girl.

    Over the last few months, my entire life has become better, and worse at the same time. During high school and for a year after, I was fairly popular, at least with the stoners of my school. I always had a few friends by my side and went to parties often, and this increased when I got my own place after graduation. This was all well and good for a year, until I moved on from weed to coke and crack. Long story short, got arrested for dealing and now have 11 felonies against me. Honestly not as big of a deal as it sounds, if everything goes as it should I'll get four years of probation. Plus 10k in debt but that will be alright too. The funny thing is, that's honestly not what I care about. I've never seen the point in worrying about something I can't control. The only thing I can do now is try to show the court that I've changed and that's exactly what I'm doing. I've been clean for 7 months now, barely even drinking. Maybe a bit of DXM every now and then but that's not important. Basically, my problem is that I don't know what to do when I hang out with people besides drugs. That's all I've done for the past two years. So that leaves me hanging out by myself, every single god damn day. What do you do with friends besides get high or drunk? I honestly can't think of a single thing. Literally, I haven't hung out with anyone that isn't my parents in the time since my arrest. The only place I go is work. I had to move 400 miles away after my arrest so I don't know anyone here, besides people at work of course. No one calls, no one texts, not even a word to me on facebook. The most social interaction I have is talking to strangers on omegle, and making small talk to the people I work with. Usually just exchanging pleasantries or maybe complaining about work as we smoke a cigarette. Even when I do talk to someone at work, it's always completely fake. Well actually, it's not all that fake. It feels fake, because I tell them that I'm doing good with a smile on my face when I really feel dead inside. But in reality, I actually am happy in those few brief moments or minutes because I have someone to talk to.

    I was okay with this when I still had my girlfriend to talk to. At least then I had something to look forward to throughout the day. Even if we only texted a few times a day and talked for ten or fifteen minutes, at least it was something. This was up until a couple weeks ago, when she decided that long distance wasn't working. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but it didn't make it any easier. We had been drifting apart for a while. The day after I called her to talk, hoping I could change her mind but mostly just trying to get a few things off my chest. During the conversation she told me that she had cheated on me over the last few months. She wouldn't tell me who but I have my suspects. The main problem that I'm having is that I honestly don't care. About her, about my job, about life, about anything. And no, I'm not going to kill myself. Pessimism is just an emotion that I'll get over eventually. I just feel like I'm not a person anymore. I don't know what I am. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this really, I guess just so I can talk to someone. Or get out of my head for the time it took me to write this. I'll stop here since I know you're probably getting bored. Sorry if I use the word just a lot or honestly it's a bad habit.
    More serious advice, engage the people. Find a like minded guy or girl at your work and ask them if they want to go play minigolf or something. Roman has no problem asking you to go bowling.

    Hello suicidepunch.
    Subj: I feel suicidal. (This is going to be a mess of a text. Be selective in what you post if you post it)
    I'm that guy that everyone likes but no one loves. People meet me and are immediately drawn to me. I'm a very open person in the way that i have not racial, sexual, political, religious or what ever bias when dealing with people face to face. My philosophy is to make sure that i'm good while everyone around me has an equally good life. The problem for me is that my life is shit. I'm the loneliest guy on this planet and i'm lonely because i'm the ideal person. It's shameless self-promotion and i never do it in public, but a person that isn't involved in petty conflict is a great person. Especially if he spreads good vibes. That's what i do. Yet i'm abandoned.
    Since the teens started, 7 years ago (yes, i'm an adult by most peoples standards) i have been a very pleasant and well mannered fellow. People around me never had anything bad to say about me and i helped people out when needed. To the point of being a wing-man in a fucking religious relationship for my best friend. Needless to say that i worked my ass off for months. I was bullied beyond stupidity throughout my childhood, leading to my awkward social nature. View it this way. If you kick a puppy every time it smells another dogs ass, it'll never smell another dogs ass for the rest of its life if you keep it up. That's me. I was bullied so hard that i became socially inept. I'm fixing it now, but it ain't ever gonna be 100 or even 80% ok. I can't say hi to people without expecting a sarcastic backlash from them or a bystander. Neither does it help that everyone i know are tired of my emotionally demolished situation. I'm a wreck.

    THis is where the relevant part starts. If you need to OP, cut the introduction. no one likes a whiny start anyway. What happens these past 5 years is that i'm apparently a "morally superior" guy according to many. I'm not arrogant, but i'm never racist for show or hateful for a funny remark. i find that un-charming and i have a hard time imagining anyone viewing that as a good quality. Well. The male people i meet always comment that. How i'm philosophically, Morally, Ethically and humanistically perfect and i should be fucking king and what ever bullshit. (seriously. I shouldn't!) So i gain acquaintances quickly. Females often bite on me being well mannered, positive, deep, philosophical, honest and i seem to have a heart melting smile, wonderful eyes and the perfect face. Now. Fuck all that. Because i've only got acquaintances. my problem is: For all the shit that people tell me downtown, for all the shit people tell me after months of hanging out, for all the shit that this girls says, she's still going back to her abusive ex instead of me. Whatever they claim to think that i am, i am obviously not. Not one has a shred of respect for me. They elevate me to the position of the ideal "perfect" individual yet i'm all alone. I'm not arrogant. Everyone knows how i feel and that i love positive contact. Yet i haven't felt good for four years. I feel useless around them. It's like the girls around me claims that their dream guy fits me perfectly and then they go for a cheating prick instead.

    Today i spoke to this girl that i really like about our feelings for each other. Turns out that she's just about the same as every female ever out there. I'm just meant to be happy as her friend while she gets drilled shitless by a guy that both she and i know is a cheating fuckface. She says that i'm wonderfully inspiring since i'm very un-narcisistic. I speak my mind, i talk different. I let my beard grow for weeks at a time and i wear clothes that fit rather than "trendy" clothes. I'm me. And she says she loves that. Fuck! everyone claims to love that. Yet here i am. 20 years old. without a romantic life since there's always a more abusive boy around to fuck than me. This night marks the third time this month that i laid down on the rails on the train station with the goal to just fall asleep and never wake up. I failed again. I don't know why i have to suffer this loneliness. Why to people keep talking to me about my superior calibre when it's obvious that none of them need/love me and every one of them see me as "that guy that's cool yet id wouldn't give a fuck if he died". I don't know what to do. Post this or not. I had to vent. This may not be a confessional. But i had to put this out. Even "perfect" people get suicidal when they're obviously not loved by anyone.
    You are obviously are not perfect, instead very arrogant, and you need some help. I'm not joking. You are not going to make friends by being perfect.

    I have a foot fetish. Sometimes I feel like i'm the only one who has this fetish. it's tearing me to pieces
    please help me facepunch i dont know what to do my life is over
    Cold feet? Loads of people have fetishes. I have a sex fetish!

    Sometimes I like to take my pants off bend over in the mirror and look at my asshole while masturbating, and that's not even the worst of it, I actually openly tell everyone about it, even if I'd only known them for 10minutes, It's the first thing that comes to my head when trying to start a conversation.
    Why are you posting this anonymously, then?

    So the last few years have been fucking insane. I'm not really exaggerating when I say this, because there's been some serious mind games rolling. I think it all started when my mother started dating this security guy. He seemed nice and all before he moved in. Suddenly, tons of beer cans and getting drunk. While he was drunk, he acted like a total dick. He and my mother would often fight at 1AM, sometimes so roughly I had to leave the household for my own safety and go to my sister's place. I'd miss a lot of school days because of this hassle. I also suffered from these tik-symptoms, small neurotic behavior that I couldn't help doing. Eventually my mother got through to the child protection agency or whatever it is, the MLL and they pretty much kicked the guy out. That time had apparently been too much for my brain to handle normally though, since something was growing.

    Now, the next part will be about a year later in the 9th grade. I found I-Doser and was really skeptic about it, probably for a reason. If it's placebo, it works quite nicely since I once tried it while I was doing a test. Something was unlocked in my head, and once I left the classroom I didn't feel right. At the end of the day, a common bully went and decided to act pushy. I felt distant, all my senses seemed to be fading and I distantly saw my hands grabbing him, twisting his arm behind his back and pulling it hard, dislocating his shoulder. I got a huge wave of rage washing over me when I returned to normal from this half-sleeping state. I ran away, scared of what happened. When I got home, I was thinking of the consequences. I'd probably get thrown to jail if I was any older.

    And now we get to this year. About in January, I was rolling all kinds of sleep books and information involving the subconscious mind. I remembered all my dreams and deciphered them. Via this, I had discovered I had this kind of a personality...I can't say it's a flaw, but an abnormality. Basically an internal persona that my mind had created to deal with the stress the drunk security guy had caused me. All that pressure, fear and anger towards the guy had packed together and formed this incredibly mental, psychopath sadist in my head. I eventually formed a weak link with it and while days went by, I kept trying to get it out.

    I really haven't gotten it out yet, it's just lying dormant, waiting for the next violent encounter in my life so it can break free and probably blind someone. I see a psychiatrist once every two weeks to just talk about what's happening in my life. This internal personality has also affected me as a person. I'm much more silent these days, only talking when I find something really interesting to have a discussion about, I drink blood after sauna and I'm gathering funds to get a sword. I also go shooting with my dad on the range with more enthusiasm than before. Feeling the rush of power when the kick hits you is dangerous, and I should be careful not to turn into another Norwegian serial killer. What's the possibly worst thing is the alarmingly growing sensation that I can't live without the internal personality telling me what to do anymore, I'm growing more dependent on it day by day. I keep telling myself that it's just a part of me, not the other way around, but as time goes by, I believe that less and less. I have difficulties restraining it anymore. Nowadays I go to high school and actually managed to ask one of my classmates out. She doesn't have any idea of me yet, but I'll see how it goes.

    I'm not looking for advice, just opinions. If you tell me I'm a sad kid who's seriously fucked up in the head, go ahead. I respect honesty more than politeness.
    I have hope for you, you are going to do awesome on that date. You shouldn't always be afraid of your fears. Look into them and explore them, so you are less afraid. Works for me.

    When I am in class I often think about raping the women I find attractive. I masturbate to my best friend's facebook pictures. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I am somewhat worried for my future because i get these urges that I want to rape her. Am I the only one that gets these feelings.. I dont wana be a sex offender :(



    The below story is a continuation of the stripclub story.
    Hey again, this is the second part of the coming of age story.


    Well, at this point, I had just gotten to FT Leonardwood. I was in receiving and had a lot of time on my hands because all we did was just sit around all day. I eventually realized I could go on the internet with my phone (it was one of those verizon flip phones) and the internet was slow as shit as you can guess, but it kept me entertained. I was browsing facebook one day and I found my friend John's profile who I was friends with back in middle school. I added him for shits and giggles and didn't really talk to him. I was sketching around on his profile and I decided to look through his friends. While browsing through his friends I came across his cousin Caroline.
    Way back when I was like 13-14 I met Caroline at six flags when I went there with John and his family. I liked her as soon as I saw her and the whole day I tried to talk to her, but I was just a shy little kid so I didn't until it was like "if I don't talk to this chick, I never will" So the last hour or so that I was there I just gave it a shot and it worked out pretty good, whenever she talked to me she smiled and me my buddy John, and Caroline all went for a walk. John was a ways ahead of us and me and Caroline were just talking. She was cold, so I gave her my sweatshirt and after a while I akwardly put my arm around her, but she didn't say anything and smiled. It was time to go and she came over and said I was really cute and she gave me her number and left. I called her a few times but I was too nervous to keep calling her, plus I didn't know how to talk to girls and was subject to awkward small talk. I saw her one more time at the beach about 2 months later, but she just kind if said hi, then we didn't see each other for the rest of the day. Great I fucking blew it. I was depressed as fuck for the rest of the day.
    Fast forward to 6 years later back at FT Leonardwood. I saw her on my buddy's facebook and figured meh, what the hell and added her. I wasn't planning on talking to her and didn't think it was going to go anywhere. I did it for the hell of it. I went to work (they were getting pissed at us for taking our phones to work, so I left it in my room) and came back at the end of the day and just hopped on Facebook for a sec and saw that I had a notification. I checked it and it was from Caroline. Say just said "Hey". "Oh shit, haha" I thought to myself. I responded back to her and checked her info. She was single and was much more grown up. She had a nice pair of tits on her now and was really pretty. We got to talking over the next few weeks and I was really starting to like her. With all of this new found charisma it was so much easier to talk. We talked about what happened and just about anything and everything. After a while she sent me a text that just sort of said "Hey, so my sister asked us if we're dating... so are we?" I just sort of stood and stared at the text and thought "This chick is awesome. She's fun to talk to, really hot, but this is going to be my first relationship ever and the distance is really far. Am I really ready for this? It's going to chance my life forever..... Fuck yeah I'm ready!". I played it cool and texted her back saying "Yeah I guess we lol" But in my head I was giggling like a school girl.
    Time went by and our first 96 of the training cycle for labor day and I remembered hearing people talking about going home for it. I got thinking "Well, I sure as hell don't want to stay here, I don't want to go all the way home, but it would be awesome if I could some how see Caroline" I looked in to it and got a special liberty chit. I thought about it thought saint Louis would be a fucking awesome place to hang out. I booked a hotel room and it asked if I wanted 2 beds or one big one. "I doubt anything will happen, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little bit of fun haha.... uh right?" I called her and told her everything was all set and just sort of brought up the whole sleeping arrangements. I told her that all I could get was one bed and asked her if that was alright. Right off the bat, she said "Yeah I don't mind". "I thought haha that's kind of funny... oh shit this chicks DTF".
    Time passed and and the next thing I knew my alarm went off at 6:00 am, Saturday morning, first day of labor day weekend. I hopped on a greyhound and headed for St Louis. I was pretty happy but then I started of thinking of what could happen and started getting a little anxious. I've never been in the situation where a chick wanted to make out. I finally got to the airport and waited for her for about 1/2 an hour. I was waiting at her gate and finally there she was. she looked even better in person. Perfect wine glass figure, brown eyes, and brown hair. I was planning on sneaking up behind her and pulling some James Bond romance shit and like spinning her around and kissing her but I didn't know how this girl was going to react and I really didn't feel like getting kneed in the testicles and getting tackled by security guards right after (now that I think of it it would have been funnier if I just stood next to her and stared at the baggage claim until she realized I was there). I just came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.she turned around and smiled and said "hey". "Hey" I said and smiled and then we just sort of stood there and awkwardly stared at each other for like 15 seconds. I froze up for a little bit but started warming up to her. We started talking about her flight and the trip over and stuff. We hopped in a cab and headed to the hotel, then it got awkward again. I did a mental face palm and thought "what did I get myself into...".
    We had some awkward small talk and got to the hotel finally. We checked in and I was trying to pull some confident tough guy stuff while checking in *Deep manly voice "Yeah, I've got reservations to check in here, it's no big deal" Needless to say I failed miserably, plus they couldn't find my reservation so i looked kind of dumb. I scrapped that idea and was just me. We went upstairs and she ended up not sleeping last night because she was over thinking just like me, so she sat down in the recliner... and passed out. "Ah hell she's bored!" I thought. drastic confidence measures needed to be taken I stupidly thought so I told her I needed to go to the lobby quick. I went down stairs and proceeded to jack off in the bathroom.
    Refreshed, I went back upstairs. Once back she ended up moving to the bed and was laying down. "Oh shit, she wants to do it right now" I thought (she was actually sleeping) Not sure what to do i just played it cool and layed down and started watching Rambo. After a while she moved over and put her arm around me. I froze. My penis smacked me in the face, I shook it off and put my arm under her and started rubbing her arm and playing with her hair. I just kind of glanced down while watching tv and realized I could see the top of her bra inside of her shirt. I started thinking of what could really happen this weekend I suddenly felt better, a lot better. It was such an amazing feeling I can't even describe it. I started to looking into her eyes and kissed her after a while. we made out for hours, like 3 different movies played on TV. I was completely lost in time. I tried to feel her up but I didn't want to rush anything. The closest I got was rubbing the very side of her boob while rubbing her side.
    After hours upon hours of making out, we ended up walking around outside. I took my switch blade because I didn't know what the area was like. we were just kind of walking around seeing what was around the hotel. we went to the right and went around the whole block and didn't find anything special. We talked the whole time though which was great. It was so much easier to talk after we made out. I felt like I knew her forever.
    We ended up going back to the hotel. I turned on the TV and just flipped through the channels. There wasn't anything on, so I just left it on the country music channel (It was the only form of music we had :/ ). After a while we went back to making out. By this time it was like 8:30 at night. We were making out for hours and it was time to kick it up a notch. I took my hand from her back and started rubbing her side slowly, then took a big gulp and moved it on top of her boob. she didn't say and thing so I started rubbing it and playing with it. I was sweating bullets at this point, and thought hell, I went this far, I mind as well go even farther. I slid my had off of her boob, and went down to the bottom of her shirt. My stomach did a back flip as I slid my hand slowly up her shirt. Her skin on her stomach was incredibly smooth and soft. It was like some kind of really soft glass almost. I finally reached the bottom of her bra. My stomach was shaking like crazy but I don't think she noticed. I slid my hand underneath and started rubbing her nipple. She didn't moan or anything like in the movies, but she did start breathing really heavily while she was kissing me. I felt like I was dreaming, it was just so crazy. I didn't think I'd ever make it to second base, and we were nowhere near finished. After maybe 1/2 an hour or playing with her tits, I decided it was time to move on to something more.
    I slid my hand out from under her bra, slid it down her chest and as I was, I just took a moment to savor the moment. This was one of the moments I've been waiting for for my whole life. I slif my hand into her waste band of her pants, and hit the waste band of her panties. I slipped my fingers inside of her panties and slowly made my way down to her pussy. She was wet as fuck. I took my middle finger all the way down to the bottom, and slowly dragged my finger up to the top and she started breathing really fast and really heavily. I started fingering her. I had one hand on her boob under her shirt, with the other hand I was fingering her all while making out still. I was going to eat her out but she wasn't just ready for that. After a good hour or so of fingering her, we were both getting tired, and it was time for bed.
    We woke up around 8:30 am and started making out again again i started feeling her up but her bra kept getting in the way and she finally just said "You can just unclip it if you want and I'll take it off". Her shirt came off, and so did mine. I tried to unclip her bra for while but as the guys that have been with a chick before know bra's are a bitch to unclip. This dam bra was kicking my ass and she just said here, let me get it. She unclipped it and I finally got to see her tits in all of their glory. she layed dwn on the bed, and I started sucking on her tit, while playing with the other with my other hand. I did that for a good while and eventually worked my way down her chest and to her pants. she didn't want me to but I convinced her to let me eat her out. She took off her jeans and layed back. Her panties were black and said TEAM PINK. Have you ever been about to open a gift that you know is going to be amazing? Yeah, that's exactly what this felt like. I grabbed hold of each side of her panties, and slowly slid them down and off of her legs. I started out slow, licking from top to bottom, then I buried my tongue deep inside of her pussy. I never understood in porn when someones licking a girls pussy, they just do short little laps. I was thinking of that and after a while I realized why. For like 45 minutes, I had my tongue buried inside of her and its gets really fucking tiring after a while. Plus if you're really forcing yourself in there, your upper lip blocks your nostrials, and it's hard as fuck to breathe. I did this for a good while and we decided to stop around 10:30 because we were planning on going to six flags.
    We went there for most of the day and when we got back, we ended up finding a stand with maps of the area and found all of these attractions just a street over. We walked around over there for a while, then went back to the hotel for round 3, except this time it didn't turn out so great. We were doing our usual routine, she was completely naked, and I was in my boxers laying ontop of her while fingering her. she ended up rubbing my chest and then my stomach. She's touched my chest before but this was the first time she touched my stomach, and I realized I'm incredibly tickelish. She just kind of messed with me for a couple of seconds and we kept going. She continued to go down intill she stuck her hand in my boxers and started playing with my cock. Right here is when all those years of beating off just for a quick relief came back to bite me in the ass. I never really thought about how long I would last during sex. She was only in there for like 30 seconds and I jizzed. I pulled her hand out and I don't know if she knew what happened or not, but I tried to keep going but I was too embrassed. I didn't know what to say or do. I almost just wanted to go throw up. I finally meet a really pretty chick that I'm doing all of these crazy things with that I didn't think I would do in a thousand years, and who I was really close to finally losing my virginity to, and a blew it (no pun intended). I ended up telling her I wanted to get to sleep because I was really tired. I felt like crap. She agreed and we went to sleep.
    We woke up the next morning, and it was our last full day together. We had breakfast in the lobby of the hotel, and I had forgotten about the previous night as the morning went on. We had fun, then the night came along. I got over what happened the night before but this time, it was different. We did our usual routine, but at some point, I think she jacked me off and again, I spunked rather quickly but I just quickly and discreetly wiped it off on the inside of my boxers, and took them off and threw them on the floor. we were doing our thing and I just kind of asked "So... do you want to really do it tonight?, It's out last night together" "Yeah, ok that sounds good she said". I grabbed my hygine bag and pulled out some Trojan condoms I grabbed before I left just in case. I slipped in on quick and got in the missionary position. I was ontop of her just sort of looking into her eyes. I stick the tip of my cock into her pussy and it felt incredible. "Heh, so this is what a vagina really feels like" I thought to myself. I slowly slipped inside of her. I started pumping, slowly getting faster and faster. She started breathing pretty heavily, then really quickly hand even more heavily, and let out small moans. The harder pounded the louder she was moaning, it just kept building up until i felt her legs shaking a lot and then she just stopped. I always figured there would be fireworks and a banner appearing or something, but they just stop apparently. Oddly, I ended up lasting a really long time, I didn't even bust (protip: ejaculate right before sex). She ended up finishing me off with a blowjob, which was another thing I've always wanted to experience. The best part of all that was just cuddling afterwards. We just sat awake for hours, and just talked and anything. I've never been more comfortable in my life. I'm a hell of a lot better at sex now as time went on. You pick it up fast as you go. The best thing is to just use your imagination, and try stuff.



    That's all for now, I hope you enjoyed the read



    TL;DR I lose my virginity
    Righty-o. This'll be my first confessional I've ever sent in, and it's not even a confession so hopefully it'll still get posted.

    Straight to the point: I just cannot deal with my mom anymore. She's the typical Asian mom who's always telling me "YOU BETTER GET STRAIGHT A'S". I tell her I'll try my best, and I really do. I placed 3rd in my class during HS for crying out loud (which wasn't really a difficult feat, but whatever) with a >4.0 GPA. But that's not what I'm mainly bitching about. I'm bitching about the fact that she severely restricts my going out and as such restricts my miniscule already-shitty social life. I mean, I recently went to the beach with my friends 6 times during the summer but that's over the course of 3 months so it's not like I'm the typical basement-dweller, but if I went out one week, I usually have to wait two weeks until I can go out again, no matter who it is. Even family. Which leads me to my next problem that just occurred within the last week.

    Right now I go to a university and this semester my female cousin decided to take a couple classes with me, which is fine and dandy. Almost every Friday, we decide to just go out and eat lunch together because hey we both are socially awkward, me moreso than her and we somehow have the same cravings. The last two weeks it was KBBQ. My mom found out about our lunch "dates" and said that I could only go if my other male cousins came along. This was Thursday night. Yesterday, Friday, my cousin and I decided to eat sushi for lunch and I unfortunately forgot the conversation I had with my mom the previous night. Long story short, my mom found out about it and screamed at me when she came home for dinner. "Blah blah you don't respect me. You don't listen to me. I should make you pay rent since I cannot sustain your lifestyle etc etc."

    Holy fucking shit. It was just lunch, and she's going off about respect and everything else. I'd listen to her wishes if they were at least reasonable and if she at least gave me her reasoning for her decision, but literally all I get from her is "Because I said so". I'm goddamn 19 years old and she still treats me like I'm 6. About her not being able to sustain my "lifestyle", I have my shitty part-time job (6 hrs a week on minimum wage hurray). All the extra shit like food, gas, books, and so on I can and do pay for myself. She pays for my tuition fees, yes, but she makes closer to $80k a year which is a pretty hefty sum for just the both of us, and she's the one that wants to make sure I make it through college. It's probably just her not thinking about what she's saying. Anyway, so like I said I'd respect her wishes if they were reasonable. But I'm 19 years old for god's sake, and she's complaining that I go out once a week with family? I don't do drugs. I've never been drunk. Hell, the first time I tried shots was with her in the room with me (yes I'm lame) and I count only 4 beers that I've drank in a sociable non-family setting. I'm pretty much a good momma's boy and yet here I am with her yelling at me like she caught me doing something illegal.

    I like to think I'm not an angsty teenager, but obviously I need someone else to confirm that. What do you guys think?

    Sorry if anything (read: the whole thing) was verbose or incoherent. It's just raw emotion typing right now.
    When you move out, have a party.
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  36. Post #196
    Bitch Plzzz!
    Dennab
    September 2011
    834 Posts
    I have a foot fetish. Sometimes I feel like i'm the only one who has this fetish. it's tearing me to pieces
    please help me facepunch i dont know what to do my life is over
    It's pretty dang common.

    I am somewhat worried for my future because i get these urges that I want to rape her.
    Stay classy.
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  37. Post #197
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    *Suicidepunchblogpostthingy*
    You are obviously are not perfect, instead very arrogant, and you need some help. I'm not joking. You are not going to make friends by being perfect.
    I read this one twice to make sure. It doesn't sound like he is arrogant. It sounds like confusion about other peoples views of him. IMO either people are fucking with this person or he's too nice for his own good. I'm in the same kind of spot myself. People fill your head with the notion that you're worth their time and yet never call you up, never look for your opinion, accept and never needs your love and friendship. Welcome to being that anonymous guy.

    Best advice that i've got is to never play with open cards... Maybe i shouldn't give advice. Another one: Control your mood swings if you have any. People don't need your shit.
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  38. Post #198
    rogasm
    Rolond Returns's Avatar
    May 2010
    4,809 Posts
    jesus fuck hjsust read th hanbeast one anf breathjng too fast to make sensnense fcasdf it's insane

    Edited:

    hah, maverick claims to be good at love
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  39. Post #199
    Gold Member
    antair's Avatar
    March 2010
    301 Posts
    Less depression, more hot non-dog sex.
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  40. Post #200
    Wow, I cannot believe I'm doing this. I mean, I must be drunk or stupid, but Jesus man, you're going to fucking love this.

    Alright, let's get on with it.

    So here's the setup: I'm at my Uncles house way down South. I had been visiting for nearly a week, as I live far North in the frigid Midwest. (Okay, the weathers not that bad)

    Anyways, I had been staying at a hotel for pretty much the entire trip, only occasionally visiting their house. Most of the time we would just go out to eat or- You know what, fuck this, I'm tired of stalling let me tell you outright what happened:

    I fucked their dog.

    So, it happened like this: One of their sons just left for boot-camp for the U.S. Marines, so whoop-di-fucking-doo I get to stay in his old room...with the dog.
    Yeah, the dogs kennel is apparently in his room. Anyways, this was a pretty big dock, black in color with white spots. I don't exactly remember the breed but they called it Mercedes, or just Cedes, you know, after the car.

    Anyways, so it's late at night (Like, almost fucking midnight) and I'm sitting in this bed. I like dogs (NOT in that way) so I decided to let it sleep at the foot of the bed. It finally calms down and my cousins go to their rooms respectively. Anyways, this dog immediately flips it shit and gets up and stands over me. This dog always seemed attracted to me, but more in a friendly sense that all dogs usually have. But this thing starts licking my face and making weird thrusting motion (Keep in mind, it IS a female).

    At first I was repulsed, but I had a raging boner and could tell this thing, well, it wanted to make sexytime to me.

    So we did.

    First, I grab this thing by the head, whip my dick out, and make it lick it. It obeys, but it's coarse tongue feels like fucking sandpaper being scraped on my dick. So I did the logical thing, I pry open it's jaws and start deep-throating it. Still, I wasn't really satisfied with my doggy-blow-job and it was still horny, so I reach back and rubbed it pussy. It's starts making weird thrusting motions again. So I move down, and, well, you know, I fucked it.

    Hell, I didn't just fuck it, I did it the way it was meant to be done: Doggy Style

    The next morning I hardly spoke. I feel real bad because my Uncle and his family are "Christians" ( Christians=Hypocrites) and I couldn't stand to look at that dog, nor the Jesus statue hanging on the wall. I felt disgusted.

    And the sad part is that's not even the most embarrassing, gross, terrible thing I've done.

    No, I would never in One-Thousand years tell you my most embarrassing story. But I'll give you a hint: it involves pedophilia, rape, incest, and homosexual acts.

    Wow, now that I dug that out of the deepest, darkest, black pit in my mind I feel like killing myself.

    (BTW when typing the Dog Story, I got the weirdest fucking boner, even though I'm not remotely attracted to dogs, well, except for that one. Seriously, I live with a dog but there is no way in holy-hell I would ever, ever, do that again.)
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