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Post #6561
You might have a superiority complex. Or maybe you just lack humility.
It's not high school, its just adolescents.
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I think he's just drunk and he's not picking his words well enough.
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-Snip-found the super friendly social and love advice thread.
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Guys lemme ask you guys, how long did it take for you to say "I love you" to your partners?
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Most adolescent relationships confuse love with infatuation, so it doesn't take too long. Not saying that there aren't cases where they really do end up having a successful relationship, but generally speaking its rushed.
It took a few months for me to be able to justify using the words, but we said them earlier on.
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I've been with my girlfriend for two months now, but we dated for a month before that. Mostly just hanging out etc, nothing too intimate. I'm not sure if I should say it, sometimes I feel I should but then I wonder if I'd regret saying it, if it'd be too soon etc. But I definitely feel something for her, something strong. Not sure if it's love though.
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About 4 to 5 months. People who say it on day one typically don't have long lasting relationships.
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about 6-7 months, though we weren't actually in a relationship together until a month later.
there isn't a set duration for how long you should wait to say it or anything. just say it when it seems right, not because you feel obligated to
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Sounds like it's because high schoolers /adolescents If your going to university or college you should be able to meet some better girls there :), or more specifically more grown up.
My boyfriend and I waited about 2 months I think? We meant it though both of us had discussed before then when you first meet someone it's physical attraction and it doesn't count until love till you know each other a lot better. Besides we had been courting quite some time before then so it was past the supposed 4 month thing, although i don't like that concept very much.
Really just say it when it feels right.
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I've been with my current girlfriend officially for about 3 months but we've been talking and seeing each other since about march and we still haven't said it. It takes a lot with some people but its not a big deal
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What would you guys do if your girlfriend posted a picture of her ass online. I just found out one of my friends broke up with his girlfriend over her doing it.
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i would say "that's nice" and hope nobody starts stalking her using ass comparison technology
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ass comparison technology compares on 14 different ass criteria such as skin tone, cheek density, and volume
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yeah, it's not something that's she'd do, but if she suddenly decided to, if she's just anonymously showing it out there then i don't see a problem
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I wouldn't break up over it, but I'd tell her I'm not okay with it. The thought of hundreds of fat neckbeards jacking off to it is really not nice. Plus, I'd want my SO to have a little bit of modesty. I don't get these guys that post pics of their girlfriend's tits and stuff online (with the girlfriend consenting to it as well), cause if you loved her, you wouldn't do that knowing that other guys will just be looking at her like a piece of meat.
That's just how I feel on the subject though, I'm sure everyone has different views.
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it's her body she can do with it whatever she wants
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yeah, this
also, most people like to be reminded and reassured from time to time that they are attractive/desirable to others - and i don't mean in a craving-everyone's-attention-all-the-time sort of way, more of a "hey that's nice" sort of way
if that's achieved by anonymously posting a picture of your ass on the internet, well, fair enough then
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by that logic: it's okay for her to walk around in a skimpy skirt and bikini bra strap all day long through the mall. it's not a matter of "it's her body she can do whatever she wants with it", it's more a matter of "I really care about her and I don't like the thought of my significant other walking around in clothes like that where guys will look at her like a piece of meat"
I feel strongly about this because sometimes when I go out with my older sisters to the mall or wherever, they're stared at like pieces of meat (not always, but most of the time). It's not very nice because these are the women I've grown up with all my life, I know them when they're happy, sad, angry, yet these guys that don't even know them think they have the right to look at them like a piece of meat? I love them as a brother loves a sister. So it's x10 more the case when it's a woman I love as a man loves a woman, because I truly care for her.
I'm all for letting my SO wear whatever she wants, but at the end of the day, I care about her as well. But this is besides the point because it's not as if I'm a control-freak when it comes to what people wear, so it'd never really apply to me. My dad and mum always told me that what makes the difference between the woman you love and the woman you don't, is that with the woman you love, you would hold her so close to your heart and keep the intimate things between yourselves. It's like when guys are sitting around a table, talking about how "they banged the shit out of their girl last night" or casually asking each other about intimate things, that isn't showing that you love her. Showing you love her would be saying "Guys, why the fuck would I tell any of you about this stuff?"
just my two cents, but I know your views are drastically different.
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surely if you love someone and they love you, what matters more is that you do things you're both most comfortable with, rather than things that seem "right" according to what others seem to expect
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youre totally over exaggerating, not everyone stares at girls when they wear skimpy clothing
also when they are staring, they aren't viewing her as a piece of meat, or objectifying her or something, they are just appreciating her body for what it is
and just because you have gotten to know them and seen them at their low doesn't mean anyone who doesn't know them as well as you do is somehow less deserving than you
also when you're in love with someone, it doesn't "prove" its love because you decide to keep quiet about your entire relationship. its perfectly ok to talk about your feelings about your SO with your guy friends as long as you aren't being a dick about it
tbh you're just coming across as really stuck up, because you seem to think all other guys are slack-jawed assholes who don't appreciate women in the same way that you do or something
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sure, if that's what she wants lol
i would say take a jacket because she might catch a cold, san francisco gets chilly during the night
well that's full of shit. do i not love my significant other because sometimes i share our intimate moments (RAINBOWKIZZ)? no that's such an arbitrary notion.
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You totally misunderstood me. Where was I saying "because I know her, I'm more deserving of admiring her body" what the fuck?
When you walk down the street and you see some great-looking woman, what do you think in your mind? "Oh wow, she is so beautiful." Fuck no. You think more along the lines of "What a great ass, good tits too". You objectify them. I do it too! Most men do. I'm not saying I'm better than you. All I am saying is I know how men think, and because of this, I feel more inclined to try and look out for my SO.
Again, you've completely misunderstood my point. I didn't say "I've seen them at their low so I am more deserving to appreciate them", I was saying I know them for who they are. I know the real person they are, they aren't just a good pair of legs to me, that's what makes me want to look out for them, and prevent them being treated like meat by other guys.
It's extraordinary how you've read my post and then somehow inserted your own words into it and replied based on what you inserted. Where did I say "keep quiet about your relationship, that's true love!"? I didn't. I said the difference between actually loving a woman, compared to just having someone you can fuck, is the fact that when it comes down to it, you respect what you have, and due to that respect, you prefer not to let other guys know about the intimate details of your relationship. I'm not saying don't talk about the amazing day you spent with her, or how she made you laugh so hard that the drink you had came out your nose, but don't go telling your mates all the ins-and-outs (excuse the pun) of your sexual life with her. That's my opinion.
I'm not stuck up, I don't think all other guys are slack-jawed assholes who don't appreciate women. All I'm saying is, on a fundamentally basic level, men are all hardwired the same. I know it because I am a man. So where's the harm in just doing what I can to try and protect my SO from how men think. If she's dressed modestly, men will admire her for her beauty, but if she's dressed in skimpy clothing, men can't help but automatically judge her as easy or a piece of meat.
Edited:
This is totally correct. If you love someone and they love you, then you'll both have somewhat of the same mindset, so I'm sure with me, I won't end up with an SO that would do things I'm uncomfortable with.
And with my original point, it's not so much doing things that people think are right, it's more along the lines of caring about my SO and wanting to look out for her. We're all guys here, have you not been witness to guy talk? I've been in a group with my mates and a couple of girls, and the moment the girls leave, it breaks out into "God damn, look at that ass". I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, there isn't, but at the end of the day, I really really really wouldn't feel comfortable knowing guys are talking about the girl I love in that way, you know?
Edited:
To each his own, man.
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I just want to emphasize the point that I am in no way controlling in the relationships I've been in. This issue, the whole posting pictures of her ass or whatever, would never even be an issue to me as it wouldn't even happen. The girls I know and the girls I would get with aren't the type to even want to do that.
I'm just incredibly shit at articulating my points and my posts always end up coming out the way I don't intend for them to. I just find it difficult putting thoughts (and more importantly, feelings) into replies I make. What makes it even more difficult is the fact that none of you actually know me, know the type of guy I am, so what may appear to be a stuck-up attitude to you guys, is in fact really not.
This thread needs a Steam Group Chat so we could all hop in and chat or talk or whatever, that'd be cool.
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quite a number of my friends are pretty open about their sex lives, both male and female, so it's not really just confined to "guy talk"
sometimes all the sharing gives people ideas of what they want to try etc that they hadn't thought of before, so in my circle of friends it works out well for everyone really
Edited:
girls talk about their sex lives to their close friends just as much as guys do
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Yeah, same here in Ireland. I guess I'm just being a fool. But I'll never be the type to talk about my sex life to anyone, unless the girl wasn't really a girlfriend and was more along the lines of a hookup or something not serious.
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no, you're just sexist. all of my friends have always been males and i've only known two guys who objectified women.
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if you say so
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^ hit the nail on the head
you're being sexist against both sexes right now - sexist against women for blatantly objectifying them and sexist against men for thinking the rest of them are at the same primitive level as you
Edited:
sdadffad MY AUTOMERGE
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I'm sorry, and I don't mean to be rude, but how is that sexist? Its objectifying, yes, but not sexist.
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isn't lowering a human being down to the level of an object p much sexist in itself??
Edited:
also itt loopoo is a prude and rates everyone who disagrees with his old-fashioned views dumb
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Well that's a load of bullshit. I don't objectify my female friends, but a randomer female that I happen to see when I'm out is objectified. I'm really not sexist, I don't believe men are supposed to be macho and women are supposed to be dainty. Women and men can do whatever the hell they like. But if your guy friends say they don't check out women, then they're blatantly lying.
Edited:
Uh, I rated one guy dumb because he put his own words into my post then replied to what he had "thought" I said.
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What if someone objectfied everyone? Would that be sexist or would they be some new word that means they objectify everyone. Objectifist or something.
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there's a difference between tossing a quick glance to a butt and thinking "this pleases me" and then going back to your merry way and staring at the butt and going "i would do nasty, nasty things to you"
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please no the last thing i wanna think about is ayn rand thanks in advance
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Yes, there is. Your point being?
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that you're calling the first thing objectifying when it's just checking someone out.
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Actually, you know what guys, don't bother. I'm a prude, I'm sexist, I objectify women and I'm a control-freak. Have I missed anything out? Oh, and I'm primitive. And I think someone also said I was stuck up.
Well shit, you've all made me realize the monster I really am!
Edited:
Your logic is infallible. Is looking at a woman's butt and completely ignoring her as a person not objectifying? You're objectifying her by looking purely at her butt. Good going, buddy!
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you described yourself as objectifying
and some of those are pretty much synonyms
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You know what, I'm gonna objectify you all right now as lovely people who have been really great to talk to these past few days. So yeah, fuck you, I'm objectifying you all.
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I'm just confused now man.
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loopoo, you should just quit caring what anyone else says about you and how you handle relationships.
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by that logic i am objectifying everyone when i look at their hair and go "damn that dude has some sick ass hair"
it's for aesthetic purposes i don't concoct an entire sexual fantasy around it
Edited:
Funny x 1
Agree x 3
Dumb x 1
Friendly x 5
Disagree x 1
Useful x 1
Informative x 1
Winner x 2