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Post #81
People can believe whatever they want. Doesn't mean I am not 100% right and correct when I say that I consume at least 2500 calories when trying to gain weight.
Edited:
Knowing stuff about nutrition doesn't give him the right to be a huge fucking asshole and insult people in 99% of his posts.
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I know how to read the nutrition facts label and know how it works, and I can do addition. Unless I'm subconciously shaking my legs like a maniac when I consume higher amounts of calories I can't see how I don't gain weight. It just makes no sense.
Although interestingly enough my heartbeat and also breathing speeds are pretty high. Even when I'm resting my heartrate is like 80bpm or so and my rate of breathing is the same as my cats, and cats breathe somewhat quickly.
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I give up on this guy. Your 105lbs and can't gain weight?
Most middle schoolers weigh more then you. And you give a shit load of attitude and keep coming up with excuses.
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What fucking excuses? Holy shit!
Edited:
I am looking for something new, that I haven't tried yet. The only thing new that I haven't tried a dozen times in this thread is "change doctor" which I'm going to do within the next few weeks.
Edited:
Normal calorie requirement, to maintain weight: 1500 calories.
In weight gain mode, this is what I eat:
- standard diet - 1500 calories
With these additions:
- small calorie and protein rich snacks throughout day - additional 600-800 calories
- 100 calorie pack - 100-200 calories depending on how many I eat
- Milkshake, Ingredients listen from most to least by volume:
2 cups Whole milk
1.5 cups Stop&Shop frozen berry medley
1 cup low sugar/sugar free chocolate ice cream
1/2 cup Chobani plain greek yogurt
1/3 cup protein and calorie powder
4 tablespoons Hood heavy whipping cream
3 tablespoons peanut butter
1 tablespoon wheat germ
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
OH, and a carnation instant breakfast packet.
1000 - 1500 calories, 50-80g protein somewhere in those ranges.
Note that this is from memory, and I have made in since May last year. Measurements may be off, and i think i'm missing an ingredient and i can't remember the precise calorie count either. I'll try to locate it and post the exact recipe.
I don't change my physical activity during 'gain mode' at all. It stays the same.
At this point, I almost certainly must have some disorder that makes my body practically unable to store calories as fat or something. I can't find any other explanation, other than the chance that I stand up and jog in place for an hour in my sleep when I consume extra calories, which I know I don't since I filmed myself for a few nights with my webcam.
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I read the thread, but can't be assed to reread: How long does "weight gain mode" last?
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Anywhere from 1.5-2.5 months. Also, I don't gain any weight at all, at least not "true" weight. I usually 'gain' 2-4 pounds, but my stomach is bloated. After 2 days of 'normal diet' and several massive poos any weight I 'gained' is pood out. Thus, I do not gain weight, only get bloated and backed up. If I would just work like a normal human, i would be gaining at least 1-2 pounds a week, based on amount of calories being taken in.
I do not believe it's possible to have such a high metabolism that you can't gain weight even doubling your normal calorie intake.
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I may be absolutely wrong here, but it sounds like you probably have some sort of nutrient absorption problem. I don't know, I'm probably off the ball.
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That's what I'm thinking, based on how everyone here says it's just not possible that I haven't gained weight, then it must be some intestinal wall issue.
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I'm no medicine expert, but have you, like, considered that you might have, you know...
parasites? :I
Then thinking again, case of parasites usually has a ton of obvious side effects.
Also, just noted.
Reading your list gave me the impression all you ate were pretty much yoghurts, butter, various powder substances (protein powder, cinnamon (???)). Frozen berries. Creams. Seriously.
Have you even tried fine, cooked food? Fine, cooked meat; loads of chicken breasts or fish. Where the fuck are vegetables. Salad. omfgwtf
This might actually be your problem, man. I can't imagine myself eating that shit you eat. It's probably so shitty it cannot even be processed...
Edited:
lawdy, man, THE MORE I THINK ABOUT THIS.
If your list of what you eat when attempting to bulk is true and 100% accurate, then you are possibly the biggest fuckup on this subforum ever seen... :3
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What? That's just the recipe for the shake I make, and it's mostly quite healthy too, minus the ice cream and heavy cream of course. The cinnamon and vanilla is for flavor. For dinners/lunch it's usually some mix of rice, pasta, ground turkey or chicken breast, usually with frozen pre-cut potatos and veggie medley. I'm not sure if you use the measurement known as 'cups' where you live so that might have thrown you off a bit.
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If only bad reading was still around.
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Also I don't eat fish. Contamination no thnx. Though I do take purified fish oil capsules when I can afford it.
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Motherfucker you tried to gain weight for a WEEK
Try eating for 3 months
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Again fucking no one here is a medical expert in your perceived rare disorder (I'm going with autism) or whatever exotic parasite you have ratfucking your digestive track, so please stop whining and take it to a medical professional.
For some reason you keep bitching that we aren't giving you the answers you want, yet you persist?
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Um, where the hell did you hear that? Certainly not from the only reliable source, which would be me of course. Also I don't know what you're talking about when you say 'perceived rare disorder' and I don't know how autism has anything at all to do with calories.
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Lift, eat high calorie foods
work pays off
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None inividual is a reliable source to the internet. You just seem to be one of the little boys who think they and their problems are special.
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Tapeworms have little symptoms as far as I know. And if you are eating heaps and not gaining, it's a possible cause. People used to ingest them to lose weight.
And I've heard some horrible stories about getting rid of them. Such as starving yourself for two days, and then peeling and onion and breathing in the smell through your mouth. The tapeworm will crawl out. And you have to grab it and pull it out. All two metres of it. Through your mouth.
Or you can kill it with something and pull two metres of worm out your butt.
Have fun.
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bwahahahahahaha I hope that's the cause :D
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Oh god
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How am I not a reliable source of information regarding the time I spend trying to pack on fat?
That would be like saying you are an unreliable source of information regarding your skin color, and then you make a thread asking for tips on how to tan, and for three pages people insist you're bullshitting, that you're sitting in the sunlight incorrectly, or insult you or tell you to kill yourself, meanwhile you're the only person who is defending yourself.
Then it turns out you've got an uncommon skintype that doesn't produce melanin after being damaged by the sun (aka tanning).
Empathy doesn't exist on the internet does it? Put yourself in my shoes. You've tried all the suggestions in this thread dozens of times for 8 years and still nothing works. Think about that.
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you're fucked
get help
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None individual is a reliable source of information on an internet forum. Because people tend to talk bullshit. We have seen dozens of kids like you that have "special" problems in gaining or losing weight (or any other problem). Besides your problem does not make sense. You maintain weight at 1500 calories? But don't gain weight if you eat excess calories? Where does it go? You're not shitting it out and you can't be burning them either?
What the fuck do you think facepunch is? A gathering of nutriologists and gastroenterologists? You're the one who started bullshitting when you got common answers for a common problem. According to you, you've had this problem for years and talked with doctors. Did you really think we'd have better answer than they do?
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So because there's a chance that somebody might not know what to do, I shouldn't bother looking for help? Is that any way to live? If that was the case, nobody would ask for help for anything. Also I do not bullshit, I never lie when I'm being remotely serious.
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Also why are you calling me a 'kid' when I'm 22, are you 50 years old or something? I am probably older then 90% of facepunch unfortunately.
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Because you look like one and even your ideal body is a kids body.
No you should not stop looking for help. But you should not except much from a forum such as this, especially when your problem sounds like bullshit (you can't deny that). And jesus, you've had this problem for 8 years and you haven't even changed your doctor or asked to see a specialized doctor?
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Of course I've asked to see a specialized doctor. And how does 'healthy slim' = kids body?
Also I've always been skinny as fuck but I didn't start being self conscious about it til I was 13 or 14.
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Please
Everyone
Stop replying to this retard, it's clear to me now that he's here for attention and nothing more. Stop giving it to him.
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I'm not here for attention.
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"this doesn't get the same result i do, must be a troll or a retard or attention whore!!1onee!!!"
Get over yourselves.
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Welp we've already given you solutions, which you've abruptly shot down and keep shoving your hand out, so basically it comes down to:
A) You don't eat enough, despite thinking you do
B) You have some rare digestive disorder or a parasite or autism
In either case: Go away. How is it not abundantly clear to you that no one here has an answer you so desperately seek, yet you keep persisting? Again, piss off and take it to a medical professional, if he can't help you, we certainly fucking can't.
This thread has been going on for far too long.
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Actually, I already told you all that this thread reached a conclusion at the top of page 2. The only thing keeping this thread alive is everyone trying their hardest to make me feel like trash and me defending myself.
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Also autism doesn't make you unable to gain weight, lol, what a retarded claim.
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I'm going with what Jaeger's saying:
You either aren't eating enough, or you have some disease, like autism.
Go see a doctor if you're seriously worried.
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But I hate Minecraft!
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rofl big time jaeger fan boy
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u need a change in lifestyle so eating more comes naturally to u or else u will just overthink it all, i admittedly dont eat a lot but hey i know my diet is shit but once i move out and live on my own it will improve p.s. i am 18
i am an alien
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ur high as shit
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These people can't get it into there heads, put meat in your mouth ( sure you will have no prob with that). And lift heavy shit.
Oh ya and sleep.
What you just read is an ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE WAY TO FAIL method of putting on weight...
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Sugar/Alcohol
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OP dont be a bitch. its been said eat lots of food. drink lots of water. get lots of sleep. and lift weight.
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u all smell
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suck a dick
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my ribs get in the way ;__;
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Hahah, I hear panties broke his monitor in a fit of rage because of the Fix up look gay thread.
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Get high; munch out.
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I was in OP's position once.
Except it was all opposite.
- No mussles
- Fat
- Short
- Weak as shieeeet.
But hey, i can tell it's easier than you think just make everything a habit (well it may not be as easy for others but it was and sounds easy to me)
I gave the finger to Soda, i said fuck no to chips erry time they tried to sneak themselves into my mouth.
I simply began working out, jogging - blah blah you know the routine, i just ate healthily. And this brought me down to a comfortable weight, where i now just eat alot, alot alot. It's hard to eat alot because you may not feel like eating. Buttfuck that and eat anyways.
And just do that all the time and you're bound to see some progress. Once you see the progress holy shieeeet you gonna feel a sense of accomplishment and you're gonna get addicted to working out.
Just hold on, and it's all gonna be okay. Just eat alot and workout and stay healthy <3 :^)
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"<3 :^)" that is the nicest thing i have ever seen in this forum
i almost feel bad for being so mean after seeing that
but i dont
Dumb x 3
Friendly x 1
Agree x 1
Funny x 1
Winner x 1
