1. Post #2561
    Gold Member
    Crimor's Avatar
    June 2008
    10,642 Posts
    watching a dorf fortress lp currently, an entire episode of dorfs hitting a giantess in the head with various things, even a war dog SHAKING THE FUCKING GIANT AROUND by the head. Best dog ever.
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  2. Post #2562
    100% Homemade
    ZestyLemons's Avatar
    September 2007
    8,325 Posts
    Found a place with flux, started building wall and the dorfs tried to build them above the river without the support of the other walls several times.

    Farmer killed, doctor is injured :(
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  3. Post #2563
    Fuzzwaddle's Avatar
    August 2011
    702 Posts
    Reading. Take it at start or you're fucked.
    Crap I didn't scroll down the skills. I found an artifact book. I guess I'll hide it in the fortress I found it in
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  4. Post #2564
    Gold Member
    Umbra Fidelis's Avatar
    April 2011
    887 Posts
    It warms my heart to see the other dwarfs save an old miner, who got caught in a cave-in and put him in bed.
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  5. Post #2565
    jesse1412's Avatar
    March 2010
    579 Posts


    Ahh... My first goblin ambush... How wonderful!

    Yep- minor casualties, only over half my population.
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  6. Post #2566
    lord0war's Avatar
    June 2010
    1,812 Posts
    It warms my heart to see the other dwarfs save an old miner, who got caught in a cave-in and put him in bed.
    And then a badger tears his throat out two seconds later
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  7. Post #2567
    AngryToad's Avatar
    September 2007
    686 Posts
    Are there any major prerequisites for an elven ambush? I got hit out of nowhere; I'd always thought they'd send a liaison first, or something.
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  8. Post #2568
    Gold Member
    Someone4956's Avatar
    March 2011
    2,032 Posts
    Are there any major prerequisites for an elven ambush? I got hit out of nowhere; I'd always thought they'd send a liaison first, or something.
    "Oh hey dude we're gonna ambush you in a bit you should probably watch out for that."
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  9. Post #2569
    Squid Rofel's Avatar
    June 2011
    118 Posts
    Just setting some mining designations, when I notice that somebody was being woken up by a naked mole rat. Said person being woken up happens to be a high level wrestler, five seconds later, every wall within a 5 block radius is covered in blood. Since when were bleedin' rats a threat?

    Edit:
    How the hell do I move and open cages?
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  10. Post #2570
    billibobc's Avatar
    April 2009
    230 Posts
    The way i usually survive the first few years is by seizing all the elf traders items when they come to my depot, they always have lots of plants and usually have some cool animals in cages. Does anyone else do that or am i just a dick.
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  11. Post #2571
    Gold Member
    Angua's Avatar
    August 2007
    3,308 Posts
    watching a dorf fortress lp currently, an entire episode of dorfs hitting a giantess in the head with various things, even a war dog SHAKING THE FUCKING GIANT AROUND by the head. Best dog ever.
    Care to throw a link at another lp watcher?
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  12. Post #2572
    RagamuffinIIII's Avatar
    March 2011
    1,219 Posts
    Ok so I decided to experiment with digging the z-levels and now 2 of my miners refuse to return to the surface for food, and one of them is the expedition leader. Seriously why, theres ramps and everything for them to go back up - and once in a while they go up one z-level but always return to the deepest part like a second later. Help?

    edit: ok nevermind, solved - partially anyway. The expedition leader worked his way out and his buddy just went to sleep on the lowest floor.
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  13. Post #2573
    JoeSibilant's Avatar
    May 2010
    6,720 Posts
    guys, guys

    how do I remove a quantum stockpile

    de-zoning it and setting it to Dump doesn't work

    these piles of stone are blocking my depo, help pls
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  14. Post #2574
    CRUSHER OF DREAMS AND EATER OF SKITTLES
    Newbienice99's Avatar
    August 2007
    5,610 Posts
    Just started a fortress right next to a volcano. First time I've ever had a magma forge :D
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  15. Post #2575
    Sanitizer's Avatar
    July 2011
    312 Posts
    I drew a comic.

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  16. Post #2576
    Gold Member
    dsi1's Avatar
    February 2006
    515 Posts
    Guys my wombat is missing

    Does anyone know why my dwarves aren't clearing rocks I designated to be dumped?
    You need an [i] -> [g]arbage zone first. (one tile is enough)
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  17. Post #2577
    Gold Member
    Naelstrom's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,688 Posts
    Does anyone know why my dwarves aren't clearing rocks I designated to be dumped?
    Make sure the rocks aren't forbidden. You may have to reclaim them first via b-d-r (i think).
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  18. Post #2578
    GAY FURRY PORN CONNOISSEUR

    August 2010
    2,207 Posts
    is it possible to change dwarf limit without starting a new world/fortress?

    Edited:

    i also have an fortress with 100 unusable dwarfs because they keep going back and forth between the entrance filled with blood and the river to clean themself
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  19. Post #2579
    Mining Bill's Avatar
    March 2011
    116 Posts
    15 it is.

    Now the question of whether to put bedrooms down there.
    You got a funny way of saying necessary task.
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  20. Post #2580
    wow ok
    Teh Zip File's Avatar
    December 2007
    16,419 Posts
    guys, guys

    how do I remove a quantum stockpile

    de-zoning it and setting it to Dump doesn't work

    these piles of stone are blocking my depo, help pls
    Did you reclaim them? Dumping forbids them.
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  21. Post #2581
    Gold Member
    Neo Kabuto's Avatar
    November 2008
    5,641 Posts
    i also have an fortress with 100 unusable dwarfs because they keep going back and forth between the entrance filled with blood and the river to clean themself
    If you build a bathtub (channel with 2/7 of water in it) or two in major areas so they walk through it all the time, it should make them not need to clean themselves that much.
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  22. Post #2582
    Dwarfy77's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,401 Posts
    Huh, no vampires, no enormous waves of migrants, no baby over population, it's like my karma is saving all the fun for one incredible moment. Can't wait to see how this fails.
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  23. Post #2583
    Mining Bill's Avatar
    March 2011
    116 Posts
    You know you have a good fort when a Kobold thief chops a babies head in one blow with a copper dagger.
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  24. Post #2584
    Gold Member
    johnlukeg's Avatar
    September 2007
    2,283 Posts
    Huh, no vampires, no enormous waves of migrants, no baby over population, it's like my karma is saving all the fun for one incredible moment. Can't wait to see how this fails.
    Werecarp
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  25. Post #2585
    Gold Member
    Fremontsmith's Avatar
    July 2008
    1,000 Posts
    Huh, no vampires, no enormous waves of migrants, no baby over population, it's like my karma is saving all the fun for one incredible moment. Can't wait to see how this fails.
    It will all be cake and honey and then BAM the most Fun thing you can think of

    were-badgers made of lava that are also forgotten beasts with wings and poisonous gas attacks.

    yes
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  26. Post #2586
    diddy500's Avatar
    January 2008
    49 Posts
    When did reclaim change? Used to be a bunch a soldier dorfs buddies that would manage to tantrum spiral if one died, now it's like a normal embark but on a old fort.
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  27. Post #2587
    Gold Member
    ASmellyOgre's Avatar
    June 2008
    4,495 Posts
    Huh, no vampires, no enormous waves of migrants, no baby over population, it's like my karma is saving all the fun for one incredible moment. Can't wait to see how this fails.
    Calling it now. It'll be a forgotten beast made of slade that sprays sticky toxins that dissolve flesh.
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  28. Post #2588
    Gold Member
    Devodiere's Avatar
    November 2009
    10,798 Posts
    I'd better start butchering some of these animals, they're dying of starvation. Not my fault if they can't graze in a smooth stone dining room.

    It's just selecting dump on a corpse to get rid of it, right?
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  29. Post #2589
    Gold Member
    Lick's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,564 Posts
    Oh shit my mason just died halfway through building my wall and other things. What do I do?
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  30. Post #2590
    100% Homemade
    ZestyLemons's Avatar
    September 2007
    8,325 Posts
    I'd better start butchering some of these animals, they're dying of starvation. Not my fault if they can't graze in a smooth stone dining room.

    It's just selecting dump on a corpse to get rid of it, right?
    You can just make a stockpile for corpses and they'll be put outside to rot automatically
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  31. Post #2591
    Dumb Americunt
    MadCatMkII's Avatar
    May 2010
    8,819 Posts
    Oh god my children are tantruming and killing eachother D:

    Edited:

    Okay I think I fixed that. I made my meeting area bigger, aswell as my dining room.

    Edited:

    Well, fuck. Turns out I thought I fixed it. I turn my back for 10 minutes to plan some more mining/rooms, next thing I know, half my dwarfs are dead. I shouldn't have ignored the alerts :c
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  32. Post #2592
    Gold Member
    Loofiloo's Avatar
    April 2006
    9,435 Posts
    29 goblins and a troll just came to my fort in a siege. I believe some dorfs will die this day.

    Also the goblins are all riding jabberers

    There are two mace lords and an axe lord, plus a small battalion of bowmen.

    Edited:

    Actually that's 48 goblins and 8 trolls, I didn't wait for them all to enter the map.

    Wish me luck. Time to put on some metal



    BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
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  33. Post #2593
    Gold Member
    S31-Syntax's Avatar
    October 2007
    9,818 Posts
    BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
    PULL SOME LEVERS. PULL SOME LEVERS!

    Edited:

    P.S. I fucking love this thread. Always good for a laugh or 12.
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  34. Post #2594
    Gold Member
    Loofiloo's Avatar
    April 2006
    9,435 Posts
    Should I post the whole story of my goblin siege when it happens?

    The story so far:
    I had a dwarf down below pull the lever to release the three bridges at the perfect moment. Four trolls fell to their deaths.


    One troll was caught in a cage trap. If we survive this siege, he will make a nice contestant in the arena.


    The sniper, a legendary marksdwarf, just arrived in the fortification overlooking this action. Hopefully his contribution is great enough to save some dwarven lives. He is named after Hawkeye after all, and is armed with copper bolts. I wonder if I can order him to aim for goblin bowmen where he is, or if he would try to get to ground level to shoot them?


    If I should post the rest of the story as it happens, rate agree or winner or something good, but if it would be too page-stretching, rate disagree. I will be sure to thumb the images if I do post the whole story.

    Edited:

    Well the siege turned out to be less than exciting. Early into the battle, I noticed that my mayor, one other hammerdwarf, and the goblin mace lord tumbled into the pit together.



    Eventually that was doing more harm than good, as about 5 more dwarves fell into the pits. I had the bridges put back in place after that.

    During the battle, my mightiest military member ascended to the rank of spear lord, and became bright yellow for a short time.


    However, despite her great spear skills and adamantine breastplate, she fell along with the rest of the militia.


    It was a slaughter. But for some reason, most of the goblins decided to leave once most of the military had died. These are all the dwarves that were found dead in the pit.



    In a minute I'll do a count of all the fallen enemies, to see if we matched them at all. Only four military dwarves on my side survived:
    -The legendary marksdwarf who fired down from the battlements until he was out of ammo
    -One marksdwarf who never showed up to the battlements for some reason (probably some kind of elf-sympathizer)
    -One swordsdwarf who left the battle early because he got an owie on his hand
    -One axedwarf who inexplicably emerged from the battle unharmed. I seriously have no idea how this happened, but I saw her heading back into the fort from the direction of the battlefield. She's not even a very good axedwarf or anything, but she must have done something right out there. She's credited with killing 7 trolls, 2 jabberers, and one goblin in this battle.

    I just realized, she's credited with killing every troll. 8 of them showed up, and one got caught in a cage trap, still living in my fort. Also caught a jabberer. I might make it something to fight in the arena, or I might just drop it into magma. Haven't decided yet. I had to replace a large chunk of the military, and several of them have no military experience at all.

    Edited:

    The final kill count on our side is 7 trolls, 10 jabberers, and 11 goblins. So we killed more of them, but we lost a way higher percentage of our military. I better start making more adamantine armor. And we better clean up all the corpses in case a necromancer shows up.
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  35. Post #2595
    Gold Member
    DTkach's Avatar
    August 2006
    5,956 Posts
    I have a serious vampire problem in my fort. 4 convicted vampires were lost in a magma related accident in their cells, and another is confined in the cell at the moment. And I'm pretty sure there are two others.

    And the vampire currently in the cell is also the mayor. I was wondering why he was still called surgeon despite being mayor...He had really good skills too. He had been there for so fucking long without killing anyone.
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  36. Post #2596
    voodooattack's Avatar
    October 2009
    1,939 Posts
    So, here's a weird story.

    I had a goblin siege surrounding my fort when a human trading caravan arrived (with wagons and all), due to the rocky mountain I embarked in (the one I showed before), they appeared right by the entrance to my fort, and with the goblins 40 z-levels up the mountain near the other entrance, I decided to let them in.

    As they approached the gate an independent goblin ambush was sprung, the wagons tread slowly as my (very small) military tried to fend off the goblin intruders with help from the caravan guard, once the wagons reached inside the gates and took a turn north towards my trade depot, I sealed the secondary bridge. The only way inside my fort now was a 1-tile wide, long, and convoluted corridor filled with countless traps and nefarious dwarven IEDs.

    I tried to order my military back inside but they'd caught the smell of blood and had to finished off the stragglers from the ambush first, by this time the main goblin siege force was approaching my main gate and I had to do something quickly.

    As they reached the trapped corridor the human guards were following in tow, I drew the main bridge, and that's when it happened, one wounded guard fell unconscious on a cage trap and was captured within. I now had a human cage.

    Try as I might, I couldn't release him from that cage. Even after connecting it to a lever the cage simply detached with the human still inside. I couldn't offer the cage to the human traders either. So I just let him chill in there and didn't think much of it like many other bugs in DF that we just have to put up with. I finished my trading transaction as my marksdwarves unleashed hell on goblin heads from my archery towers and drove them away, and the human merchants were well on their way off the map again. Only that guard remained in his cage.

    Some time later I get the siege message; I thought it was too early since the goblin siege had just left. Looking at my map and lo' and behold.. a human siege! I looked at my civilisation screen and saw that I was still at peace with them, huh? It was a huge siege too, which was weird this early in the game.

    So I said fuck it, by this time my military was stronger and I knew they could handle it with some losses, so again I manipulated some levers to adjust my 'airlock' to have the only way into my fort be the trapped maze, then I released the bridge and opened my main gate; expecting hordes of humans to start pouring in; only to get mauled by my traps.

    But none of that happened. They just stood there chilling; with the fort's gates open, inviting them in.

    After a while, I thought that maybe the maze was messing up their path-finding AI, so I lowered the internal bridge and diverted the route through the wagon accessibility one. They also just stood there.

    I thought that maybe it was a follow up to that bug and I wasn't going to risk it further, I sealed up my fort and went about business as usual.

    Later, I got an announcement that the human caravan had arrived, I watched as the traders' wagons went inside with their human siege force standing right there by the gate. The siege force left shortly after on their merry way, along with their trading caravan.

    I still have a human cage.
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  37. Post #2597
    Adarrek's Avatar
    May 2010
    2,331 Posts
    Finally i managed to get into the game. So far im good with lots of metal food and drink. Im 1 year into the game so far and this is the furthest i got without my dwarves starving or being thirsty. But anyway now they keep partying every fucking time. Is there a way to stop that?
    And when can i expect my first siege or ambush? So far all i had was a few kobold thieves. i heard that if you let them steal from you they'll siege you or something. How many goblins or whatever will come on the first siege or ambush?
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  38. Post #2598
    Gold Member
    Tampong's Avatar
    October 2005
    2,113 Posts
    Finally i managed to get into the game. So far im good with lots of metal food and drink. Im 1 year into the game so far and this is the furthest i got without my dwarves starving or being thirsty. But anyway now they keep partying every fucking time. Is there a way to stop that?
    Pretty sure Orkel said you could avoid your parties by making a meeting area with the zone (i) meetinghall.
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  39. Post #2599
    OBVIOUS LOLICON
    Twistshock's Avatar
    August 2007
    1,349 Posts
    More fixing:
    set labor list for migrants by default (can turn off in d_init)
    added a tab for other stones in stone list and made stones with a reaction product class list as economic in stone list
    stopped undisguised vampires from coming to fort (not monarch/monarch's group)
    sterilized zombies and mummies
    indicated forbidden workshops in q/t
    made forbid/etc. from stocks screen not effect items used for buildings when applied to an entire group
    made ramp name indicate unusability
    can get objects out of adv mode cabinets/etc.
    Waitwhat
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  40. Post #2600
    Gold Member
    Crimor's Avatar
    June 2008
    10,642 Posts
    I've never seen this done so I'm gonna assume it's impossible, but it should really be in the game.


    You know how you can make a well with clean water? Why can't you dump booze in a reservoir and do the same
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