1. Post #201
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,352 Posts
    I agree. I might not know exactly if he has a mental illness or not, but I usually keep the worst for last - "therapy" first and not "surgery" first.
    why are you putting surgery in quotes?
    uh
    just so you know there's a lot of therapy for people with issues that don't involve drugs or surgery


    I haven't said anything like "get over it" and I was taking what he said very seriously. I haven't dismissed what he feels, if I did, I wouldn't have addressed him at all.
    Stop being a fucking victim, as if you are the only person in the world with those issues.

    ...

    Wake up. You hate being fat? you got two choices - lose fat, or learn to accept yourself.
    You hate being anti social? socialize.

    THERE ARE NO QUICK FIXES. Either piss yourself away in agony, that you didn't do shit to help yourself or become the change you want in your life.
    that is just one long get-over-it speech.

    And as a bystander, and a participant of this thread in which he asked his question at, I do have legitimate right as much as his therapist may have to answer his question in a way that I think would help him.
    well and i as a bystander and someone who has faced with similar stress and illness am telling you that your way of helping doesn't work

    instead of beating someone on the head with words, try letting them speak and see why they are upset. works a lot better than any bullshit "out of the box" canned speeches.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 5Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  2. Post #202
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    why are you putting surgery in quotes?
    uh
    just so you know there's a lot of therapy for people with issues that don't involve drugs or surgery






    that is just one long get-over-it speech.



    well and i as a bystander and someone who has faced with similar stress and illness am telling you that your way of helping doesn't work

    instead of beating someone on the head with words, try letting them speak and see why they are upset. works a lot better than any bullshit "out of the box" canned speeches.
    You ignored a lot of what I wrote. There's no point in discussing this any further, as even if I were right, you'd still like to keep your opinion because it worked for you, as much as it worked for me (my way).

    But, for the sake of clarifying what I wrote, I'll respond to what you said;

    1. I put those in quotes, because I am not actually referring to surgery and therapy, but the differences between them (i.e anti-depressants and a therapist) - both might work.

    2. I have given him solutions. Real life, actual, physical, practical solutions. The "get over it" statement you use so much is connected directly with your disbelief of my "pick-up" method. (not to say this is personal, just an example) I am taking this as an example, because my "inner game" approach to life (achieving what you want, being great, feeling great, knowing you deserve the stuff you want, conquering fears) is exactly as abstract to most people as was my advice to him right now. People most of the time need something physical, a relation to something, so they can relate and understand what I am actually saying. To some, my "inner game" is a load of bull, because they can't seem to grasp it. To some, my "get over it", is just a "get over it" statement, because you can't seem to grasp the power his mind has over every action of his body and personality. EVEN THOUGH, you might be right, and he might need drugs to treat himself, my point here was that my advice is not, I repeat, is not a "get over it" and absolutely not to be taken lightly or with disrespect. My way, worked for me.

    3. It's weird you disqualify my way, while I didn't do the same with yours. I'll clarify once more and further; I didn't just told him what I had in mind ("get over it) and walked away. If he were to wish and intrigue himself with my advice, I would have no problem going deeper and investing my time to find a solution using my way. I was abstract as usual, because I believe if a person really wants a change or is interested in my way, he'll know how to reach me. I answer every time I get a PM, and am known to a few for investing a lot of my time in helping people change.

    This was just to clarify, because you seem to have the wrong idea about my intentions and my way.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Dumb Dumb x 5 (list)

  3. Post #203
    I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.

    Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."

    What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.

    edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events Agree Agree x 2Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  4. Post #204
    I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.

    Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."

    What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.

    edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.
    You're basically saying that he is fat? That's not cool, even by my standards.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Lithuania Show Events Dumb Dumb x 2Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  5. Post #205
    Hi Jo
    Jo The Shmo's Avatar
    February 2009
    22,848 Posts
    I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.

    Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."

    What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.

    edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.
    why do you feel the need to be a dick to this guy?

    Edited:

    who says we can't talk about his problem, he did ask for advice didnt he?
    but you're saying "the usual idiots" are the ones bringing it up, instead of letting it die like it "should"
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac United States Show Events Agree Agree x 2Dumb Dumb x 2 (list)

  6. Post #206
    JenkinsJ's Avatar
    March 2008
    319 Posts
    Jesus christ I think that's enough arguing now, you can't shout depressed people into feeling better. That is that. End of. It's a proper disease with chemical imbalances in the brain. thisispain has the right idea.

    If depressed people don't take your advice, it's because they're depressed. They need to be treated with patience and understanding. If you can't do that then don't reply. Certainly don't start bigging yourself up saying "Well I have problems and I'm a fuckin' superstar, bitch! You just need to be a man!" like some people in this thread were doing.

    Bah, sorry about the rant. Bit tetchy today.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 3Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  7. Post #207
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.

    Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."

    What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.

    edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.
    What I meant by that, is that he became fat due to his mental condition. So, you could call "being fat" a mental condition. Is it not something that can controlled by actively putting your mind into doing exercise? completely denying being fat is a mental state as well as a physical one, is not understanding the roots of his problem.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Dumb Dumb x 2 (list)

  8. Post #208
    Hi Jo
    Jo The Shmo's Avatar
    February 2009
    22,848 Posts
    I'm sure the "toughen up" thing works on some people, as long as you know the person well, and you are some sort of role model, but it's completely inappropriate for some stranger over the internet to try to cure their depression that way
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac United States Show Events Agree Agree x 3 (list)

  9. Post #209
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    Jesus christ I think that's enough arguing now, you can't shout depressed people into feeling better. That is that. End of. It's a proper disease with chemical imbalances in the brain. thisispain has the right idea.

    If depressed people don't take your advice, it's because they're depressed. They need to be treated with patience and understanding. If you can't do that then don't reply. Certainly don't start bigging yourself up saying "Well I have problems and I'm a fuckin' superstar, bitch! You just need to be a man!" like some people in this thread were doing.

    Bah, sorry about the rant. Bit tetchy today.
    This is an extreme. As thisispain mentioned, we cannot tell for sure what is wrong with him - is he actually mentally ill or not. So, arguing that he might need medication because the thought of suicide went through his head is absurd. Not everybody who thinks that way will actually commit it.

    I had thoughts of suicide, where am I now? Did I use drugs? No. Did I see a see a psychiatrist? Yes. Did it help? No. I found my own way.

    Edited:

    I'm sure the "toughen up" thing works on some people, as long as you know the person well, and you are some sort of role model, but it's completely inappropriate for some stranger over the internet to try to cure their depression that way
    As I have said a few posts above, if he's really interested in what I've said, I would go out of my way to help him. I am that kind of person.

    I can't change or help the entire world, it's tiring my friend.. I have tried, and failed.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Dumb Dumb x 6Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  10. Post #210
    Hi Jo
    Jo The Shmo's Avatar
    February 2009
    22,848 Posts
    you are so full of yourself it's incredible
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac United States Show Events Agree Agree x 4 (list)

  11. Post #211
    you are so full of yourself it's incredible
    Maverick except less useful
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 17Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  12. Post #212
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    you are so full of yourself it's incredible
    Being honest and full of yourself are now intertwined?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events

  13. Post #213
    Hi Jo
    Jo The Shmo's Avatar
    February 2009
    22,848 Posts
    Being honest and full of yourself are now intertwined?
    only someone who's full of himself would call that "being honest"
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac United States Show Events

  14. Post #214
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    only someone who's full of himself would call that "being honest"
    ....that doesn't make sense
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events

  15. Post #215
    Maverick except less useful
    Maverick was ever useful?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Lithuania Show Events Agree Agree x 4Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  16. Post #216
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    Maverick was ever useful?
    Evidently I was.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Disagree Disagree x 4 (list)

  17. Post #217
    I'M A MASSIVE FAGGOT AND LOVE COCKS
    DrBreen's Avatar
    June 2007
    4,991 Posts
    2 pages on "get over it"
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Funny Funny x 5 (list)

  18. Post #218
    Don't be a pussy: Take 2 commences tonight
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Friendly Friendly x 1 (list)

  19. Post #219
    I'M A MASSIVE FAGGOT AND LOVE COCKS
    DrBreen's Avatar
    June 2007
    4,991 Posts
    Don't be a pussy: Take 2 commences tonight
    Oohh, best of luck
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events

  20. Post #220
    Gold Member
    Fhenexx's Avatar
    December 2009
    5,912 Posts
    Let me try to give Flamehead my best advice. Think of it like this:

    You have three tiers of social interaction, each one as important as the next. Liking yourself, liking others, and loving others. In order to to be successfully social (as awkward of a term that may be), you must attain each one in the order presented; you can't leap frog over "liking yourself" and "liking others" and go straight to "loving others," for example.

    From the little I've heard of you, you sound like a good portion of your problem being social stems from the fact that you don't like yourself. Of course, there might be other problems, as it would seem that you might have some form of depression (although I can't say this with any certainty, I still have to keep it in consideration).

    Now, if you want to solve your problem, there are a few things you need to do. Firstly, I would advise seeking psychiatric treatment if you do believe you might be suffering from some form of depression. If you do, you might end up running better with the rest of what I am saying in the long term. One thing you should know, though: if you do get medication, do not expect them to work 100% efficiently as soon as you start popping them. Antidepressants take a while to kick in with a full effect, and even then they might cause certain side-effects which make them undesirable for you. If that is the case, don't hesitate to keep getting them switched in order to find which one is the best for you. However, don't switch them out only a few weeks into treatment; give them time to work.

    Secondly, you need to gain some self-esteem and self-confidence. Of course, much easier said than done. However, the best way to get either is to find something (a job, a hobby, etc) that allows you to take pride in what you do. Once you feel pride in what you are doing, confidence and esteem will all come rolling along with it. Maybe take some time to meditate on what you want to do and what you like to do, and make simple goals and steps to keep you moving forward. All you need to do is start with baby steps, and with some time and effort, you'll see it snowball.

    Once you get past the stage of "liking yourself," you'll finally be ready for "liking others," and so forth. If you need help with that, that is what this thread is for. But, don't forget to keep bettering yourself, too, else you might fall down the same pit again.

    Also, if you ever feel overwhelmed with the daunting task ahead of you, just remember there are a lot of people on your same path that are struggling each and every day to better themselves, myself most definitely included. I've felt suicidal, came home and cried every day, and it is only recently that I started trying to pull myself out of that pit. So if you ever want someone to help you through this, I'm always here. Unfortunately, I still get bouts of depression every now and again, so I might not be the best of help, but I guess it's better that I offer my services than not.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Winner Winner x 12 (list)

  21. Post #221
    You're basically saying that he is fat? That's not cool, even by my standards.
    ...What? I was quoting what seith said. Also the dude said he was overweight, where the fuck did you get the idea I was calling him fat?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events

  22. Post #222
    I'M A MASSIVE FAGGOT AND LOVE COCKS
    DrBreen's Avatar
    June 2007
    4,991 Posts
    so much for the super friendly social and love advice thread huh
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Agree Agree x 3Funny Funny x 2Zing Zing x 1 (list)

  23. Post #223
    so much for the super friendly social and love advice thread huh
    Because you and Seith brought the subject back up right when we had all agreed to drop it.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP United States Show Events

  24. Post #224
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    Because you and Seith brought the subject back up right when we had all agreed to drop it.
    I am to blame. Ban me.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Agree Agree x 6 (list)

  25. Post #225
    I'M A MASSIVE FAGGOT AND LOVE COCKS
    DrBreen's Avatar
    June 2007
    4,991 Posts
    Because you and Seith brought the subject back up right when we had all agreed to drop it.
    don't put this on me
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events

  26. Post #226
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    don't put this on me
    I take full responsibility. Ban me.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Friendly Friendly x 7Funny Funny x 1Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  27. Post #227
    JoshJosh117's Avatar
    August 2009
    855 Posts
    Shut the fuck up, I can't possibly believe any of this is helping the guy.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events

  28. Post #228
    Mon
    Mon's Avatar
    April 2011
    4,102 Posts
    this used to be a good thread
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista Canada Show Events Disagree Disagree x 2Agree Agree x 1Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  29. Post #229
    --And Cut Off--

    So, what are some ideas of a simple let-us-get-to-know-each-other date.
    Like a coffee and a stroll; what else is there?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  30. Post #230
    I'M A MASSIVE FAGGOT AND LOVE COCKS
    DrBreen's Avatar
    June 2007
    4,991 Posts
    --And Cut Off--

    So, what are some ideas of a simple let-us-get-to-know-each-other date.
    Like a coffee and a stroll; what else is there?
    a stroll sounds simple but it isn't, if you have a stroll in a noisy city it's not gonna work, i'm thinking a stroll at a local park in the evening before the sunset then a nice quiet dinner.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events

  31. Post #231
    Bread Dog's Avatar
    April 2011
    217 Posts
    Went on a sorta 'date' with this girl ive recently started talking to in school. (We spent a free period and went to a cafe had some tea and talked alot) and I realised I really quite like her. Now, Im really good friends with her best friend who assured me she likes me back, but doesn't want a relationship? Now, thats what confuses me. So...

    What steps can I go around to either change this or what? Im lost
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Friendly Friendly x 1 (list)

  32. Post #232
    Went on a sorta 'date' with this girl ive recently started talking to in school. (We spent a free period and went to a cafe had some tea and talked alot) and I realised I really quite like her. Now, Im really good friends with her best friend who assured me she likes me back, but doesn't want a relationship? Now, thats what confuses me. So...

    What steps can I go around to either change this or what? Im lost
    do not let her friendzone you. Also grow a sack of balls and say her what you feel, but if she likes you like friend,youre fucked.


    Btw if someones want to know she apologized me and now i have my valentine :-))
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Lithuania Show Events

  33. Post #233
    The Doctor Is In
    Pascall's Avatar
    September 2009
    24,005 Posts
    The "friend-zone" is not inescapable.

    It depends on the woman.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 8Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  34. Post #234
    Gold Member
    chaz13's Avatar
    August 2005
    2,142 Posts
    This thread sucks now due to Seith. It goes:

    1) Person posts problem
    2) Seith says something someone else doesn't like
    3) They pointlessley argue for two pages
    4) Repeat

    May I suggest if you don't agree with him you add him to your ignore list, and vice versa?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 2 (list)

  35. Post #235
    The "friend-zone" is not inescapable.

    It depends on the woman.
    . But it is VERY VERY hard to escape. Sometimes you do not even know you are in friendzone. Based on mine experience 1.5 years ago.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Lithuania Show Events Disagree Disagree x 2 (list)

  36. Post #236
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,297 Posts
    The "friend-zone" is not inescapable.

    It depends on the woman.
    As much as it depends on the male.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Ukraine Show Events Agree Agree x 7 (list)

  37. Post #237
    Gold Member
    General Omega's Avatar
    January 2009
    2,400 Posts
    Friend zone is an ironic name in my opinion. Usually I see the pattern of:

    Get 'friend-zoned' > go with it for a day or two > "Fuck that bitch. Who needs her?!"
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events

  38. Post #238
    Mon
    Mon's Avatar
    April 2011
    4,102 Posts
    the way i see it people who bitch about the friendzone are obviously ignoring some kind of glaring flaw about themself
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista Canada Show Events

  39. Post #239
    Gold Member
    Evilan's Avatar
    February 2009
    3,831 Posts
    the way i see it people who bitch about the friendzone are obviously ignoring some kind of glaring flaw about themself
    That flaw being, you didn't nut up enough to ask her out before you became really comfortable around her.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree Agree x 3 (list)

  40. Post #240
    Mon
    Mon's Avatar
    April 2011
    4,102 Posts
    That flaw being, you didn't nut up enough to ask her out before you became really comfortable around her.
    true
    a lot of the time though i notice that a lot of guys who get friendzoned are ugly as a sin
    that or they come off as kind of creepy
    that kind of thing
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista Canada Show Events