1. Post #641
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Only spartan women give birth to real men, so to do that you should first be a spartan.
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  2. Post #642
    Gold Member
    TehAgentGuy's Avatar
    May 2009
    4,409 Posts
    Who wants to proofread this paper?
    http://pastebin.com/C5DdvTYn
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  3. Post #643
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Part II of The Other Wes Moore deals with the adolescent years of the author and “Other” Wes Moore.
    Errrr...
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  4. Post #644
    Gold Member
    TehAgentGuy's Avatar
    May 2009
    4,409 Posts
    Now how do I fix that then?
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  5. Post #645
    King Shit of Turd Mountain
    The Castro's Avatar
    July 2009
    8,927 Posts
    YOU'RE DEAD MOTHERFUCKER
    SAY THAT TO MY FACE, BRO











    ?
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  6. Post #646
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Now how do I fix that then?
    "In part II of The Other, Wes Moore deals with his adolescent years and the "other" Wes Moore."

    That's just my guess though, it's not my native language.
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  7. Post #647
    Gold Member
    wraithcat's Avatar
    December 2007
    13,056 Posts
    Who wants to proofread this paper?
    http://pastebin.com/C5DdvTYn
    It's massively confusing, you're jumping between the two characters without any consideration to the reader and have little logical structure to your paragraphs.

    I had to track back because I wasn't actually sure which of the two Wes' you were talking at times. The real one or the Other one.

    Quickly put together a logical structure to it. At least as far as I understand what was happening in the book. Keep in mind it's quickly written without checking for any grammar, capitalisation or punctuation.

    Part two of the the other Wes Moore continues the story of Wes as well as the Other into their adolescent years. The lives of the two finally begin to strongly diverge and we are given a clue on how both ended up in their current situations. The real Wes is struggling with his education. while the "other" is a drug dealer.

    Wes' mother is strongly dissapointed in him and soon decides to send him to military school in order for him to improve. Yet before that happens, he is arrested for tagging a wall with an aspiring drug runner, Shea. Due to being a minor, Wes is released without being charged. This doesn't change much, as a week later he is tagging another wall in Bronx.

    His mother now steps in and sends the boy to the Valley forge military academy. Wes feels betrayed by her, ant attempts to run away at least four times in his first days there. One of his superiors, perhaps to teach him a lesson, gives him a map with an escape route. Wes meticulously plans but ends up lost in the forest once he discovers that the map is a fake.

    In the end, he learns to love the school and becomes a platoon sergeant. It shows that with the support of others, he was able to turn his life on a right path. This part concludes with Wes and a fellow cadet being attacked by drunkards. They escape back to the academy trough the very same forest, that Wes was lost in during his first days.

    During this time, the "other" is dealing drugs out on the street, making quite a lot of money out of it. This doesn't go unnoticed by his brother, Tony, who beats him up in front of their mother, after he notices a change in the other Wes' lifestyle. he doesn't accomplish anything and soon give up trying to change the other Wes. Mary, the mother of two notices a change herself and finds boxes of drugs in Wes' room. This brings her to a realisation that her son is a drug dealer.

    They move to Dundee village and the other Wes is made to attend the Perry High high school with his godbrother Red. There he meets a girl named Alicia and gets her pregnant. He doesn't calm down though and goes out with other girls as well. This gets him involved with a shootout with one of the girl's boyfriends and Wes is charged with attempted murder.

    He's given six months in juvenile detention. After his return he attempts to get back into school but has to quit after his and Alecia's child is born. Having no high school and a criminal record made finding a job for him very difficult. He moves out of Dundee but keeps a drug running operation in the village. The police find and arrest him at gunpoint. So ends his part of the story.
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  8. Post #648
    Gold Member
    ChestyMcGee's Avatar
    August 2008
    25,826 Posts
    Who wants to proofread this paper?
    http://pastebin.com/C5DdvTYn
    do you keep saying "the author" because the book is in 1st person? unless it's an autobiographical story then it's not "the author" - the author is just a writer, not a character. you should refer to the 1st person as the narrator or speaker
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  9. Post #649
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Oh, I thought the author is Wes Moore.
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  10. Post #650
    Spectre1406's Avatar
    October 2010
    11,581 Posts
    gotta love underworld man

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  11. Post #651
    Gold Member
    TehAgentGuy's Avatar
    May 2009
    4,409 Posts
    Oh, I thought the author is Wes Moore.
    He is, apparently they both have the same name.
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  12. Post #652
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    You could have mentioned what it was about, I thought "the other wes moore" was a missing a comma and in fact wasn't the title of the book.
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  13. Post #653
    Gold Member
    Joazzz's Avatar
    June 2008
    24,614 Posts
    Steam down?
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  14. Post #654
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    -Was for a moment, not anymore though.
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  15. Post #655
    Gold Member
    wraithcat's Avatar
    December 2007
    13,056 Posts
    Still is here.
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  16. Post #656
    Gold Member
    XanaToast.'s Avatar
    July 2010
    8,444 Posts
    just magically came back
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  17. Post #657
    Gold Member
    Joazzz's Avatar
    June 2008
    24,614 Posts
    Praise the Newell
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  18. Post #658
    Gold Member
    ChestyMcGee's Avatar
    August 2008
    25,826 Posts
    quite frustrating that it's really angsty and so indie for people to say noel gallagher and oasis are/were over-rated but then one of the most glaringly mediocre guitar players/writers/singers of recent times gets the award for "best british male artist" at the british music awards tonight
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  19. Post #659
    I'm a loner who likes to get beat up at school
    Zeraxify's Avatar
    June 2009
    11,563 Posts
    quite frustrating that it's really angsty and so indie for people to say noel gallagher and oasis are/were over-rated but then one of the most glaringly mediocre guitar players/writers/singers of recent times gets the award for "best british male artist" at the british music awards tonight
    1d is gonna get all the awards according to my facebook
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  20. Post #660
    Gold Member
    ChestyMcGee's Avatar
    August 2008
    25,826 Posts
    autotuned children are my favourite artists too
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  21. Post #661
    I'm a loner who likes to get beat up at school
    Zeraxify's Avatar
    June 2009
    11,563 Posts
    in other news i bought alan wake and it's absolutely brilliant. fantastic game for the price, really scary at times. but it's not cheap scares, just the overall mood is really tense.

    fucking love remedy games. best part is that it's filled with max payne references
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  22. Post #662
    Gold Member
    Joazzz's Avatar
    June 2008
    24,614 Posts
    See, we finns are good at SOMETHING!



    Oh, Angry Birds? That never happened. It doesn't exist.
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  23. Post #663
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  24. Post #664
    A six sided fish cube of the Flounder variety
    TheGoodDoctorF's Avatar
    March 2010
    3,225 Posts
    in other news i bought alan wake and it's absolutely brilliant. fantastic game for the price, really scary at times. but it's not cheap scares, just the overall mood is really tense.

    fucking love remedy games. best part is that it's filled with max payne references
    I loved the atmosphere and overall telling of the story. But the gameplay elements seemed to mostly get in the way.It was trying to hard to be more action oriented at times and the adventure elements seemed really tacked on. This made it harder for me to get invested in the overall world of the game.
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  25. Post #665
    Gold Member
    ChestyMcGee's Avatar
    August 2008
    25,826 Posts
    3ds max is so fucking frustrating. i hate 3d. i'm getting seriously behind and have no idea what's going on in the module anymore. it's so dull
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  26. Post #666
    I'm a loner who likes to get beat up at school
    Zeraxify's Avatar
    June 2009
    11,563 Posts
    I loved the atmosphere and overall telling of the story. But the gameplay elements seemed to mostly get in the way.It was trying to hard to be more action oriented at times and the adventure elements seemed really tacked on. This made it harder for me to get invested in the overall world of the game.
    its kind of repetitive. but it works. the story is something else though, fucking brill
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  27. Post #667
    Gold Member
    Angry man's Avatar
    October 2007
    2,943 Posts
    Painted the front of my jacket today.


    Edited:

    thumb'd due to the fact my camera takes crazy large images
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  28. Post #668
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Why'd you paint it?
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  29. Post #669
    Dumpster Duke
    Back_Slash's Avatar
    July 2009
    12,371 Posts
    make it more punk, duh.
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  30. Post #670
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Sorry, I missed the whole colour your clothes to whore attention and be more rebel phase.
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  31. Post #671
    Starpluck? More like StarFUCK!!
    Starpluck's Avatar
    September 2008
    11,378 Posts
    Removed the Important Thread links as there was no point in them remaining. Resources still remain.
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  32. Post #672
    Gold Member
    Exorade's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,375 Posts
    Coolest swede ever.

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  33. Post #673
    No one likes you, get banned.
    gtanoofa's Avatar
    December 2009
    6,157 Posts
    Removed the Important Thread links as there was no point in them remaining. Resources still remain.
    you should bring back the my complimation thread in the stickie.
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  34. Post #674
    I'm a loner who likes to get beat up at school
    Zeraxify's Avatar
    June 2009
    11,563 Posts
    Removed the Important Thread links as there was no point in them remaining. Resources still remain.
    who the hell are you
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  35. Post #675
    Starpluck? More like StarFUCK!!
    Starpluck's Avatar
    September 2008
    11,378 Posts
    who the hell are you
    Your friendly neighborhood moderator
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  36. Post #676
    -Get_A_Life-'s Avatar
    June 2008
    1,183 Posts
    Something's telling me some serious shit is going to happen between this iPhone poster and Android cool guy.
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  37. Post #677
    Gold Member
    Joazzz's Avatar
    June 2008
    24,614 Posts
    Coolest swede ever.

    Hear that, Zerax? This guy is actually cooler than you!
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  38. Post #678
    Gold Member
    ChestyMcGee's Avatar
    August 2008
    25,826 Posts
    mate that's not even possible. he's posting on an iphone
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  39. Post #679
    I'm a loner who likes to get beat up at school
    Zeraxify's Avatar
    June 2009
    11,563 Posts
    Hear that, Zerax? This guy is actually cooler than you!
    hahahahaha funny guy
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  40. Post #680
    Gold Member
    Joazzz's Avatar
    June 2008
    24,614 Posts
    you going to kill me last?
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