1. Post #1161
    Gold Member
    Foosili's Avatar
    January 2005
    7,707 Posts
    Fucking hatchets, man
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  2. Post #1162
    Gold Member
    elowin's Avatar
    December 2009
    7,967 Posts
    Right before getting permabanned from FPS for the twenty-milionth time.
    Dead snipe posted:
    oh well, say hi to elowin from me
    D'aww, that was so nice of you to say Dead snipe.
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  3. Post #1163
    I hate you.
    MrDestroyer's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,084 Posts
    So ive recently gotten one of my friends into SS13.
    His first game on the fp server involved him being killed by "a trained spetsnaz monkey dual weilding throwing axe's"
    I was in that round, I was "The King of Sexy" and I got a pair of HULK HANDS which gave me the strength of hulk and I punched the shit out of the other admins. It was great.
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  4. Post #1164
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,370 Posts
    If admin applications are still open for the FP Server, I'd like to apply.

    I was an admin on SPS before.
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  5. Post #1165
    MEOWTFLOL's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,856 Posts
    >Space Simulator 2k12
    >Xenobiology
    >Accidentally flood area with plasma
    >Decide to do the right thing, get in bio hood, etc.
    >Accidentally ignite everything
    >Tell AI to bolt the doors, and not to open them until i say its okay
    >Turn off plasma, its seeping into the main area
    >Hide in a locker
    >Die a heros death
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  6. Post #1166
    Gold Member
    blazingfly's Avatar
    October 2006
    3,718 Posts
    I tried as a cultist to get to the derelict without a suit.

    ALMOST made it, then died. :(
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  7. Post #1167
    IDIOT WHO IS NEVER FUNNY AND CANT UNDER STAND WHEN NOT WANTED
    loopoo's Avatar
    September 2006
    6,334 Posts
    Are the gibbed servers down?
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  8. Post #1168
    Gold Member
    archival's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,932 Posts
    I was in that round, I was "The King of Sexy" and I got a pair of HULK HANDS which gave me the strength of hulk and I punched the shit out of the other admins. It was great.

    That was the same round as the spetznas monkey I believe, kept getting these radio messages about how fabulous you were.
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  9. Post #1169
    mald's Avatar
    October 2007
    772 Posts
    Hi I have a server up with 10 people in it currently, if you'd like to play guys. We're running the latest /tg/station svn byond://71.231.28.203:40000
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  10. Post #1170
    Gold Member
    Foosili's Avatar
    January 2005
    7,707 Posts
    Everyone is named Douglas Quiade

    The AI is named Q.U.I.A.D.E.

    Douglas Quiade is not human.
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  11. Post #1171
    Gold Member
    archival's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,932 Posts
    gibbed 4
    head rev chemist
    convert other chemist.
    he blows himself up with napalm
    begin converting science department.
    go out and convert electricians
    get shot by captain.
    perma brigged
    bust out of my cuffs and reach for my backpack which was left next to me.
    suddenly security guard busts in an yells "NO YOU DONT DO THAT 0.0"
    stuns me.
    I tell him "no anime faces" to try get some long text response allowing me to escape.
    auto kicked for saying no anime faces
    :|
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  12. Post #1172
    i'd rather kill myself tbh
    Dead snipe's Avatar
    June 2005
    2,474 Posts
    I would like to apply for bestmin at facepunch station because i'm the best
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  13. Post #1173
    I hate you.
    MrDestroyer's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,084 Posts
    I would like to apply for bestmin at facepunch station because i'm the best
    I'll talk to Foos about it.
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  14. Post #1174
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,370 Posts
    Tell him about me too.
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  15. Post #1175
    draw me like one of your french grills
    Dr.Fragg's Avatar
    July 2008
    3,612 Posts
    Tip of advice if you've griefed the server for four hours straight and repeatedly circumvent bans don't expect admin. Ever.
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  16. Post #1176
    i'd rather kill myself tbh
    Dead snipe's Avatar
    June 2005
    2,474 Posts
    Tip of advice if you've griefed the server for four hours straight and repeatedly circumvent bans don't expect admin. Ever.
    this is the definition of a joke passing over someone's head
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  17. Post #1177
    Gold Member
    _jesterk's Avatar
    March 2012
    1,423 Posts
    Tip of advice if you've griefed the server for four hours straight and repeatedly circumvent bans don't expect admin. Ever.
    Disregard the fact that you can make another account and pretend to be someone else applying for admin.
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  18. Post #1178
    My favorite NSA triggers are small pox cyber terror brown out
    Birdman101's Avatar
    November 2009
    7,429 Posts
    Tip of advice if you've griefed the server for four hours straight and repeatedly circumvent bans don't expect admin. Ever.
    Waaaaaaahhhhhh


    Griff is srs bsns
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  19. Post #1179
    draw me like one of your french grills
    Dr.Fragg's Avatar
    July 2008
    3,612 Posts
    I'm seriously crying that I'm being mocked by immature kids.

    seriously.
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  20. Post #1180
    Gold Member
    Streecer's Avatar
    April 2011
    2,147 Posts
    I'm seriously crying that I'm being mocked by immature kids.

    seriously.
    wow he sure told us right guys??
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  21. Post #1181
    PM ME FOR /TWO\ RUST KEYS!!
    MisterSjeiks's Avatar
    April 2011
    5,831 Posts
    /TG/
    Clown
    Traitor
    Objectives: Steal RCD and escape alive
    Engineering and Atmospherics become their own station
    Engineeria and Atmospheria
    They aren't part of the main station anymore, so security cant arrest anyone there.
    Move to Engineeria
    Help setup defenses
    Admit that i'm a syndicate
    CE admits he's one too
    He gets me an RCD
    He tells me he needs an energy gun
    Beepsky stuns the HoS
    Kill the HoS take his shit
    Shuttle called
    Two minutes left before it leaves
    Get killed by my own defenses (emitters or whatever they're called)
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  22. Post #1182
    Gold Member
    rapperkid04's Avatar
    March 2005
    4,842 Posts
    Hi I have a server up with 10 people in it currently, if you'd like to play guys. We're running the latest /tg/station svn byond://71.231.28.203:40000
    The station is in pretty bad shape right now haha. We need someone to join and help us out!
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  23. Post #1183
    IDIOT WHO IS NEVER FUNNY AND CANT UNDER STAND WHEN NOT WANTED
    loopoo's Avatar
    September 2006
    6,334 Posts
    /TG/
    Clown
    Traitor
    Objectives: Steal RCD and escape alive
    Engineering and Atmospherics become their own station
    Engineeria and Atmospheria
    They aren't part of the main station anymore, so security cant arrest anyone there.
    Move to Engineeria
    Help setup defenses
    Admit that i'm a syndicate
    CE admits he's one too
    He gets me an RCD
    He tells me he needs an energy gun
    Beepsky stuns the HoS
    Kill the HoS take his shit
    Shuttle called
    Two minutes left before it leaves
    Get killed by my own defenses (emitters or whatever they're called)
    That CE sounds like a total bro.
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  24. Post #1184
    My favorite NSA triggers are small pox cyber terror brown out
    Birdman101's Avatar
    November 2009
    7,429 Posts
    That CE sounds like a total bro.
    I like it when I play as something "bad", such as syndie, traitor, changelling, cultist, ect. and while keeping up my charade of being normal person, and becoming bros with someone, then they accidentally discover my true purpose and actually help me out on the condition I don't kill/robust/eat/sacrifice them.
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  25. Post #1185
    IDIOT WHO IS NEVER FUNNY AND CANT UNDER STAND WHEN NOT WANTED
    loopoo's Avatar
    September 2006
    6,334 Posts
    I like it when I play as something "bad", such as syndie, traitor, changelling, cultist, ect. and while keeping up my charade of being normal person, and becoming bros with someone, then they accidentally discover my true purpose and actually help me out on the condition I don't kill/robust/eat/sacrifice them.
    My heart literally breaks when I become good friends with someone, only to have them brutally turn on me once they find out I'm a bad guy. Many a tear has been shed.

    But yeah, I agree. When people continue to help you out, it's really awesome :)

    Bad times though, I had this one guy who consistently betrayed me :( Asshole that he was. I'd meet up with him and we'd mess about and I'd tell him I was a syndicate but I wasn't going to hurt him. Hell, I'd even give him a cloaker or something. He'd consistently betray me and it got to the point where I thought "fuck it, he's a douchebag." so I ended up killing him whenever I got traitor, because he deserved it.
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  26. Post #1186
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,370 Posts
    /TG/

    Engineering and Atmospherics become their own station
    Engineeria and Atmospheria
    Gotta love it when they do that.
    EVEN THOUGH THEY MISSPELLED ATMOSIA! :argh:
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  27. Post #1187
    Gold Member
    Foosili's Avatar
    January 2005
    7,707 Posts
    Hi I have a server up with 10 people in it currently, if you'd like to play guys. We're running the latest /tg/station svn byond://71.231.28.203:40000
    Hopped on earlier, some guy tried to kill me, ended up killing him, helped the CE set up the singularity, then left. Actually a pretty nice server, hope to see it grow!

    Edited:

    Also some server downtime. Sorry guys.
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  28. Post #1188
    MEOWTFLOL's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,856 Posts
    >Cheshire Station 13
    >Engineer
    >Get detained for no reason
    >Shitcurity places gun on me, use it as defence when he runs away
    >Adminhelp it, shit all done
    >Shitcurity all comes to gangbang me
    >Lock me in a fucking locker after almost killing me
    >Dont even get a reason why im being detained
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  29. Post #1189
    Gold Member
    The freeman's Avatar
    October 2007
    6,612 Posts
    >/tg/
    >Scott Shelby
    >Round Start
    >Want Cyborg
    >Got Captain
    >Fuck
    >Did nothing, hung around security
    >Lawyers talking about a trial
    >Cool
    >Go to trial, people want to Sue each other
    >Massive debate, nobody interrupts
    >AI goes Malf near the end of the trial
    >Fuck
    >End trial, nobody is sued
    >Hang around in the Lawyer room while everyone is dying
    >Singularity is out
    >Next to Captain's Quarters
    >Fuck
    >Send one final message to Centcomm about us leaving
    >They respond with No.
    >Shuttle recalled
    >I get on my space helmet, mask, and jetpack
    >People broke into EVA and some the space suits
    >Fuck
    >A guy is braindead in the hallway with a space suit
    >Take it
    >Go out and explore space
    >A cyborg follows me
    >Get into a laser fight in space
    >I win
    >AI is destroyed after I kill the borg
    >Success
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  30. Post #1190
    Gold Member
    N.A.N.B's Avatar
    November 2010
    745 Posts
    I thought we were going to be DJ bros, Kaizo. Parapenning/spacing me was pretty uncool.
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  31. Post #1191
    Kaizo45's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,253 Posts
    Huh oh what? Yeah, I needed solitude to linger in so I could sit around until the shuttle arrived and teleport on. I also killed two others guys, and Light got lost in space.

    Edited:

    One of whom I stabbed with a pen and had to knock out with a fire extinguisher since the pen is one use only.
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  32. Post #1192
    mald's Avatar
    October 2007
    772 Posts
    >Cheshire Station 13
    >Engineer
    >Get detained for no reason
    >Shitcurity places gun on me, use it as defence when he runs away
    >Adminhelp it, shit all done
    >Shitcurity all comes to gangbang me
    >Lock me in a fucking locker after almost killing me
    >Dont even get a reason why im being detained
    Wow really? We usually don't put up with shitcuriy
    Edit:

    Oh god Ian!

    NOOO!
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  33. Post #1193
    matthaios's Avatar
    June 2007
    1,485 Posts
    R.I.P. Ian
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  34. Post #1194
    Gold Member
    joost1120's Avatar
    February 2008
    10,366 Posts
    Wow really? We usually don't put up with shitcuriy
    Edit:

    Oh god Ian!

    NOOO!
    HOLY CRAP
    snip that shit man! that's shocking and gore!
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  35. Post #1195
    Gold Member
    Foosili's Avatar
    January 2005
    7,707 Posts
    wow a singularity ripping through the station

    i dont see that like every third round
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  36. Post #1196
    Gold Member
    blazingfly's Avatar
    October 2006
    3,718 Posts
    wow a singularity ripping through the station

    i dont see that like every third round
    There's not even any panic usually.

    >singularity is loose
    >ok
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  37. Post #1197
    bunnyspy1's Avatar
    August 2009
    4,246 Posts
    There's not even any panic usually.

    >singularity is loose
    >ok
    "SINGULARITY IS LOOSE CALL THE SHUTTLE"
    "WE CAN FIX IT GUYS RECALL IT"
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  38. Post #1198
    Gold Member
    _jesterk's Avatar
    March 2012
    1,423 Posts
    Then everyone screams at science to make a bomb to destroy the singulo and they either do nothing or flood RD with plasma fires because they don't understand how to.

    Edited:

    Is cheshire station down?
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  39. Post #1199
    PM ME FOR /TWO\ RUST KEYS!!
    MisterSjeiks's Avatar
    April 2011
    5,831 Posts
    Did I post this before?
    I'd been with Nanotrasen for the better part of a year by the time it happened. Orbital Plasma Relay 45 wasn't a bad place to work if you ignored the assistants, the clown and the moronic janitors. Our neck of Jupiter's Orbit was hardly what you would call tumultuous, and in fact aside from someone beating the shit out of the clown it'd been pretty quiet the week we'd found the crate drifting through space, only to collide with the Research Outpost. On account for the fact the Research Team had access to some pretty volatile chemicals, not to mention the highly flammable, highly explosive Plasma itself, but it wasn't often that the Outpost got its own security detail. The Captain wasn't stupid, far from it, and he'd decided that hauling in an unidentified container could potentially lead to disaster.

    “While we appreciate your presence, Officers, I'm afraid I don't see why it is necessary to have the Head of Security on board the outpost.” said Dr. Harken, the Research Director. He was an okay guy for an Egghead, but I knew he didn't think much of me, or the men under my command.
    “RD, I can assure you it's just a precaution.” I smiled as he cringed; I knew he hated being called RD. “We don't know what's in that box. It could be an alien, it could be explosives, it could even be a sydnicate operative. We're not taking any chances here.”
    Dr Harken gave me a cold look but I knew he couldn't deny the risk; the crate was unidentifiable, mostly due to the fact the only writing visible on it was in Russian, which none of us could read. I looked to the two security guards that had accompanied me, Biggs and Marston. They were good guys, if a little green. Biggs nodded to me almost imperceptibly, as if to reassure me (not that I needed it. I'd served on three other stations before Orbital Plasma Relay 45, and it took a lot to scare me these days.) I returned the nod, and left along with the others as the scientists scuttled off to ready their tools.

    I found myself staring out the window, the distant orb of Europa visible, the station itself visible in the foreground as its lights twinkled, completely cut off save for the single shuttle that linked it with the Research Outpost. I felt the reassuring weight of my Energy gun in its holster, one of the few lethal weapons availiable on the station; only the captain and myself were cleared to carry weapons capable of doing anything more than incapacitating someone, and aside from an accidental weapon discharge from the captain we'd never had the need to fire them aboard Orbital Plasma Relay 45. My headset buzzed in my ear as Dr Harken asked me to join him as they broke through the crate, and I quickly turned to make my way there. We were using the lobby outside of the Research Director's office as a makeshift workshop, with the Research Director and myself stood behind the security checkpoint nearby, protected by little more than a sheet of Plexiglass and metal if it turned out the crate was explosive. I watched as Marston stood beside the crate, flanked by two members of the science team as they readied their power tools to cut through the locks and welded metal that bound the crate closed.

    “It's a reinforced lock. We'll need to use the precision laser to break through it.” reported one of the scientists, his face lit up for a moment by his efforts to cut through the first padlock. “They've welded the hatch shut as well. Whoever wanted this closed wanted it to stay closed.”
    “Carry on.” replied Dr Harken, and after five or ten minutes had elapsed the first lock was off. This carried on for some time, long enough that Biggs had excused himself to visit the restroom when the last of the locks had been cut through and the welded metal had been cut apart enough that, with enough brute strength, the hatch could be opened. Marston and one of the others grabbed the handle of the crate's hatch, bracing themselves against the heavy metal object as they began to heave and pull in unison, the metal groaning in protest before squealing apart, the hatch flinging itself open and sending the two men falling flat on their arses. From the crate erupted a thick cloud of smoke similar to the kind given off by dry ice, and before long our view of the room before us was completely obscured. I activated my headset in alarm.
    “Marston! Report!”
    “I'm fine, sir.” Marston replied. “Can't see shit, though. I think I see something in the crate, but I...”
    Marston was cut short as a blood curdling scream erupted in the smoke filled room. I heard movement, and the pounding of feet against the floor tiles. There were sounds of a struggle, followed by the familiar crackle of a tazer being discharged.
    “Shit!” I shouted, drawing my own weapon as I moved to open the airlock, another scream sounding as a jet of blood spattered itself against the glass. Marston shouted something, discharging his tazer again before being cut off, his voice descending into a wet gurgle. I opened the airlock, bursting into the room as I tried to locate someone, anyone still alive and mobile within the smoky room.
    I almost tripped over the first body, the scientist with the laser lay on his back, his throat slashed open, his once pristine labcoat stained scarlet with his blood. The others in the room also appear to have been murdered brutally, bloody wounds dotting them bodies as they appear to have been dispatched quickly and mercilessly. I finally found Marston slumped against the airlock, his tazer still smoking as his head hung forwards, obscuring my view of his face. I kneeled beside him, noting the bloody stains on his vest as I gingerly reached out to move his head back. I recoiled in horror as I saw what had happened to him.

    His face had been torn apart by some manner of edged weapon, his cheeks sliced apart to reveal in some cases the teeth below them. The lacerations continued up to his ears in a grotesque smile, the look of horror in his eyes forever immortalising his final moments, no doubt filled with agony. I stood slowly and turned to see a figure in the smoke. He stood incredibly still, more a statue than a man. I could not make out any features through the smoke, although I judged him to be a tall man, well built and with a pale face. We looked at each other for what seemed to be an eternity, When he spoke, I felt a cold, heavy dread in the pit of my stomach that I'd never felt before.

    S m i l e : )

    And with that, he was gone.
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  40. Post #1200
    Gold Member
    The freeman's Avatar
    October 2007
    6,612 Posts
    Did I post this before?
    I joined gibbed as a chaplain once

    M y f a t h e r I h a v e s i n n e d : )
    I died
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