1. Post #161
    A self proclaimed lyrically philosophical physicist
    Pirate Jok3r's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,436 Posts
    I'm assuming no, but would this thread be the place to post raps? not beats, the lyrics.

  2. Post #162
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    I'm assuming no, but would this thread be the place to post raps? not beats, the lyrics.
    Might as well. There's really only one person actively posting in this thread.

  3. Post #163
    Gold Member
    Rediscover's Avatar
    June 2009
    7,106 Posts
    i'm working on a collab album with a couple local rappers/my friends

    i have 3 beats done for it, 3 underway, and 5 more to go before we have all the instrumentals done

    be ready!

  4. Post #164
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    i'm working on a collab album with a couple local rappers/my friends

    i have 3 beats done for it, 3 underway, and 5 more to go before we have all the instrumentals done

    be ready!
    Just my take on things.

    I feel like you haven't had anyone really critique, or speak their mind on your work outside of compliments. I'm not going to do this in attempt to knock your confidence down, but rather give you opinions you will likely never hear as a young producer. I know what it's like to be ahead of the curve as a producer in high school, and have friends like your music. That feeling will fade, and if you haven't continued to evolve and get better, your friends will be the only fans you have.

    Make your album, & release it. I'll buy it, listen at my studio on quality studio monitors, and write back with some real feedback. I might even record a short video analyzing the audio in ProTools.

    Edited:

    Also, this:

    http://soundcloud.com/the-blacksmiths/paperplates
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  5. Post #165
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    December 2007
    1,436 Posts
    Trying a new Xaphoon Jones type style out, I wanna make more beats like this one. I think it turned out well, but please do not hesitate to let me know what needs improvement. Thanks!

    Soundcloud link:


    Youtube linkage:


    Because nobody paid attention to my thread lol

  6. Post #166
    Gold Member
    Rediscover's Avatar
    June 2009
    7,106 Posts
    Just my take on things.

    I feel like you haven't had anyone really critique, or speak their mind on your work outside of compliments. I'm not going to do this in attempt to knock your confidence down, but rather give you opinions you will likely never hear as a young producer. I know what it's like to be ahead of the curve as a producer in high school, and have friends like your music. That feeling will fade, and if you haven't continued to evolve and get better, your friends will be the only fans you have.

    Make your album, & release it. I'll buy it, listen at my studio on quality studio monitors, and write back with some real feedback. I might even record a short video analyzing the audio in ProTools.

    Edited:

    Also, this:

    http://soundcloud.com/the-blacksmiths/paperplates
    yeah, to be honest i'm sick of everyone just telling me my shit is great all the time

    i would love some real feedback, so it would be great if you did that for me

  7. Post #167
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    yeah, to be honest i'm sick of everyone just telling me my shit is great all the time

    i would love some real feedback, so it would be great if you did that for me
    I will. I'll keep it 100% real with you, regardless of what other users here will rate the post as. I'll keep my eyes peeled for it, in the meantime stay humble and make music.

  8. Post #168
    Deweze's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,449 Posts
    Might as well. There's really only one person actively posting in this thread.
    You're teasing with the end of paper plates :P
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  9. Post #169
    Gold Member
    Rediscover's Avatar
    June 2009
    7,106 Posts
    I will. I'll keep it 100% real with you, regardless of what other users here will rate the post as. I'll keep my eyes peeled for it, in the meantime stay humble and make music.
    yeah dude, much appreciated

    also paper plates is fucking sick
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  10. Post #170
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    You're teasing with the end of paper plates :P
    Thank you! The REAL version of the beat uses a similar variation for the chorus. THis version is heavily looped in verse mode to accommodate for the style.

    I might re-upload the SONG version of the beat tonight as well.

  11. Post #171
    A self proclaimed lyrically philosophical physicist
    Pirate Jok3r's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,436 Posts
    Welp, since I got one yes I'm gonna post a couple songs I'm working on. I have no idea how to make beats (advice would be appreciated) and I'm not too good with my vocal flow so I haven't recorded myself rapping (yet)
    Here's some from my small notebook of little rap quips I write at work or just out of the blue if I strike a thought.

    Untitled
    Put my name into the game, I mean no shame, spread no blame, I'm so tame.
    Take a little huffle puff, just a tiny mental buff, dona't act tough, you're just out of luck.
    Oh no, I've said too much, though you know it's never enough.
    I am just like a shootin' star, I know my life, I've traveled far, not off the earth, but since birth.
    Not physically, but mentally.
    My lyrics I know are ill, to be put on paper with no sign of a taper.
    The more substance, the more I'm gonna run this.

    Also Untitled
    Jaws unlatched, brains full of relapse.
    Acts turn back to the past like clockwork, this is how reality hurts.
    Manic sprees of flowing glee and spacious excerpts of remembering what I used to be.
    I sit now, just wonder, if I listen closely can hear the sound of thunder?
    Storm is booting, starting up, but my fear is not uprooting.

    Here's one from my large notebook with more lengthy lines.

    The medicinal Nation of Self Actualization
    Prozac attack, almost have my heart collapse
    I'm holding on and feeling strong, these words I write they form a bond.
    Grounded to reality, almost like I was a tree
    Growing freely, don't let the words cut me down
    I turn cliches upside down, flip their meanings and give more feeling.
    I never thought I'd see to this day
    Motherfuckers! Move out of my way!
    I ain't here to play, I'm here to say you dicks may think, but it makes you shrink, I'm a god damned shrinky dink.
    Put me in water, watch me sink, after a while I feel the flow of think, grow to proportions you thought not of, so to your thoughts I give a swift shove and walk by.
    These pills I pop, not sure when to stop, feel the effects affect me, the ups, mostly downs.
    But this manic spree makes me feel free.
    Addicted to this feeling. One day I will drop like before but that's why I sit here and write, to prepare for more.
    This manic spree I doubt will last, it will be a memory, like so many of the past.
    I'll stoop low once more, but this is but I'm fighting for!
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  12. Post #172
    Deweze's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,449 Posts

  13. Post #173
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    Lots of promise in this track. Clean up the timing of the samples a bit, and add an 808 snare over the clap. Tighten up those loose ends and you've got a very Big KRIT-esque beat.

  14. Post #174
    Deweze's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,449 Posts
    Lots of promise in this track. Clean up the timing of the samples a bit, and add an 808 snare over the clap. Tighten up those loose ends and you've got a very Big KRIT-esque beat.
    LOL you know exactly what I was going for ;]This track is for this sorta contest I was doing where we had to use some shitty sample to make a beat.Krit is fucking dope, and thanks for checking it out but yeah I don't mess with 808s.



    The medicinal Nation of Self Actualization
    Prozac attack, almost have my heart collapse
    I'm holding on and feeling strong, these words I write they form a bond.
    Grounded to reality, almost like I was a tree
    Growing freely, don't let the words cut me down
    I turn cliches upside down, flip their meanings and give more feeling.
    I never thought I'd see to this day
    Motherfuckers! Move out of my way!
    I ain't here to play, I'm here to say you dicks may think, but it makes you shrink, I'm a god damned shrinky dink.
    Put me in water, watch me sink, after a while I feel the flow of think, grow to proportions you thought not of, so to your thoughts I give a swift shove and walk by.
    These pills I pop, not sure when to stop, feel the effects affect me, the ups, mostly downs.
    But this manic spree makes me feel free.
    Addicted to this feeling. One day I will drop like before but that's why I sit here and write, to prepare for more.
    This manic spree I doubt will last, it will be a memory, like so many of the past.
    I'll stoop low once more, but this is but I'm fighting for!
    I fucks with this man! Using a fast flow, this should sound dope :p
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  15. Post #175
    A self proclaimed lyrically philosophical physicist
    Pirate Jok3r's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,436 Posts
    I fucks with this man! Using a fast flow, this should sound dope :p
    I'm not sure what I fucks with this means but thanks! I do want to use a fast flow in most of what I write, it's originally how they come out in my head when I write.

    I might start recording myself one of these days.

    Any chance I could use some of the beats in this thread? I don't know how to download them or if you guys just don't let people dl your work.

    EDIT:
    Here's some stuff from my facebook

    So I've been throwing this advice and wondering how its not getting heard by deaf mice.
    Why stay right here, where the thought is, get back to the dinner table stuff ya mouth with corruption and disease.
    I'm gonna stick around, here, where the thought is, the heart is, while I watch from above from my unfiltered, untouched, diamond clear tower of seduction and third eyes.
    Cause you still try to see, try to see me with ya eye, when you don't perceive with ya mind!
    Just fill up on destruction and demise.

    you may hear it, i may seem a god, you may see a thought too strong, too lawless now for sensations you thought were all dead.
    You feel it all now, don't bottle pills for later, pop knowledge all day, don't need a filter to stay ahead, you feel my head?
    It bubbles, struggles, defies the dams, you see the flow.
    Don't know why, don't know how but this feeling today is the reason I'm breathin to the next day.

    EDIT 2:
    More facebook stuff

    There is an immortal technique, a dying art, losing power, and the future of it seems bleak.
    Inside my crystal ball is a world of fog, it's hard to see even a few feet ahead,
    the only thing you look forward to is when you lay down in your bed.
    But wait, the story gets no better from there, you lay still while your mind treks over hills,
    eventually to it's satisfactory continuance the hills become mountains of ideas.
    Over and over these scenarios run around, almost creates its own sound,
    barking but chained on the tree like a hound.
    Like it owns territory in this town, owns enough to make its own sound.

    Who needs sleep when you can refuel your mind with letters?

    These aren't stones i'm throwing, they're words, don't be taken aback like I knocked you on your back with a sick suckerpunch right to the pack.
    You gotta see it my way, understand the roads I've seen, the paths I've followed, strayed away and back to my own, real days.
    The times we need aren't fights and whores we just gotta sit back relax a bit outside the school, maxin, relaxin, actin' all cool.
    When you gotta take those fools makin' trouble in your neighborhood, these punks don't know what a guy can go and see but these guy's gonna know how one guy can drop a load of fear.
    It takes one, maybe two and you never see the light of day, you delve so deep your eyes act like they're covered in clay.
    You gotta see it my way.
    Not with your eye, perceive with your mind.

  16. Post #176
    Deweze's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,449 Posts
    Start recording man, that's the only way to get better

    If you want you can put it up on facepunch and get some comments on your voice/flow or whatever
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  17. Post #177
    A self proclaimed lyrically philosophical physicist
    Pirate Jok3r's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,436 Posts
    Definitely will eventually, gonna try it out with my mic i have right now and then probably get a better quality one later down the line.

  18. Post #178

    August 2012
    2 Posts
    I've never posted on this blog before, but my friend said I should put my Soundcloud up for some criticism, so here it goes.

    Soundcloud.com/danyel-clouds/sets
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  19. Post #179
    A self proclaimed lyrically philosophical physicist
    Pirate Jok3r's Avatar
    October 2008
    1,436 Posts
    Keep posting man!

  20. Post #180

    August 2012
    2 Posts
    Start recording man, that's the only way to get better

    If you want you can put it up on facepunch and get some comments on your voice/flow or whatever
    Your beats are niiiiice man, props.

  21. Post #181
    Gold Member
    Rediscover's Avatar
    June 2009
    7,106 Posts
    dude

    what did you sample

    i need it

  22. Post #182
    leap wide's Avatar
    November 2011
    57 Posts
    hey, this track is from my two friends, totally fuckin around but deserves a listen.

    QWERTY

    Lyrics posted:
    (CoCo Nutt)
    crusin in my 95 chevy,
    fuckin deadly,
    no glock only cock, armed to the top
    grape shot,
    even though I finished Iím, fuckin-her-till-her pussy rot
    from day one been spittin hot,
    B-Nasty is Nasty till i choose to stop
    equipped my dick with pistol grip,
    jizz on bitch, made accurate
    goin by Nasty cause,
    thats how I be, fuckin rapping
    no, poetry crafting
    every verse is like a freestyle,
    first thing that comes to mind, that makes me fuckin smile
    and, its gotta be vile,
    piles, of lyrics,
    in my brain,
    outta the main vien,
    into your ears,
    lyrically killin you queers,
    stanky flow, like, what is comin out of a steer,
    another fuckin whiff,
    is what you need, bitch,
    t, spit on this shit

    (Fluffy T-Huggin')
    Here it is gents
    It's verse number one
    And ya know that it's quick in the thick 'cause your dick can not
    Handle this shit for the 3 - 2- 1 BAM
    You're left there with a mess on your hands
    A look o' confusion on your face and a limp penis in your pants.

    That's right B-Nasty, I'm speaking about your shit
    The terrible music that you produce and promote and then hope that it will be a hit
    But the rhymes that you spit are hella far from sick and
    The only flow you know comes from my semen streamin' dick.

    You'd rush out your lyrics as quickly as ya could
    But as long as you fuckin' finish, doesn't matter if it's good
    For her, 'cause you got your fuckin' Coco-Nutt,
    You pump your premature ejaculation deep in that slut.

    But you've shown us that you're really into lickin' the boys
    And now we all know this Coco-Nutt has come down with a case of the "All men joy"
    Now don't get me wrong we can still go to DQ and get blizzy,
    But when it comes to the rappin', man, this shit is about to get fuckin' Dizzy.

    (CoCo Nutt)
    Iíll let you know when there is a fuck, to be given
    but right now, there isnít, so, swallow my semen.
    and i almost gotta k,
    the nutt blew up,
    pom-pay,
    swag out the fuckin A,
    king kong,
    got the bitches and packin a fat dong
    paid to vallet,
    got a fuckin check,
    now I gotta,
    split like a spliff
    with my fuckin partner named fluffy t,
    heís the tabacy and Iím the fuck-in weed.

    you faggots fuckin need me spittin,
    no one is better,
    look at the shit that I have written
    about, all of the times
    I be,
    hittin the kittens
    missin, squirtin on pigeons,
    lastin no more than a minute
    every fuckin time I spit it.
    verses bout my dick ní staff, fishin.
    a little more, than just, kissin.
    pluggin up, your message boards.
    and smearin your ears,
    with shit, outta my mouth,
    if ya gotta problem?
    suck on the pole down south
    Here's a live video

    http://vimeo.com/46727401
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  23. Post #183
    Deweze's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,449 Posts
    Your beats are niiiiice man, props.
    Thanks for listening ;]

    dude

    what did you sample

    i need it
    This and only this :p

    Edited:

    hey, this track is from my two friends, totally fuckin around but deserves a listen.

    QWERTY



    Here's a live video

    http://vimeo.com/46727401

    holy shit, fluffy's flow is dangerous lmao

  24. Post #184
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    I'll be at my studio tonight (finally) going over some of Rediscovers beats for input. Anyone got anything they need input on? I'm going to lump it all into 1 video to make it easy.

  25. Post #185
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    December 2007
    1,436 Posts
    Trying a new Xaphoon Jones type style out, I wanna make more beats like this one. I think it turned out well, but please do not hesitate to let me know what needs improvement. Thanks!

    Soundcloud link:


    Youtube linkage:


    Because nobody paid attention to my thread lol
    The ironic part about me saying nobody paid attention to my thread is that nobody paid attention to my post either.

  26. Post #186
    Gold Member
    Croix's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,700 Posts
    The ironic part about me saying nobody paid attention to my thread is that nobody paid attention to my post either.
    I usually really like your beats actually. This one is pretty good too but the snare is really bad and the kick is a little too hectic imo. Real decent stuff nonetheless

  27. Post #187
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    The ironic part about me saying nobody paid attention to my thread is that nobody paid attention to my post either.
    It's not bad, but it's not really Rap/Hip-Hop at all. I'm all for uptempo stuff, but I can honestly say this isn't something a non-pop rapper would spit over.

    Also, you've go a lot of volume changes as the bass comes in & out. I'll chalk that up to Youtube compression tho.

    Edited:

    Also your "tag" is corny as balls. If I met someone who labeled their beats with "Another hot XXX beat", I'm going to expect the beat to be corny as fuck.

    Edited:

    For Rediscover.

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  28. Post #188
    Gold Member
    Croix's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,700 Posts
    It's not bad, but it's not really Rap/Hip-Hop at all. I'm all for uptempo stuff, but I can honestly say this isn't something a non-pop rapper would spit over.

    Also, you've go a lot of volume changes as the bass comes in & out. I'll chalk that up to Youtube compression tho.

    Edited:

    Also your "tag" is corny as balls. If I met someone who labeled their beats with "Another hot XXX beat", I'm going to expect the beat to be corny as fuck.

    Edited:

    For Rediscover.
    That was pretty entertaining to watch actually lol. It's real cool of you to give crits like this, you rarely see people do this kinda stuff on here.

    To be fair on the first beat I'm pretty sure Nujabes sampled that originally. It's real overused though.

    Aaaalso you have a real nice studio, could we get some pictures.

  29. Post #189
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    That was pretty entertaining to watch actually lol. It's real cool of you to give crits like this, you rarely see people do this kinda stuff on here.

    To be fair on the first beat I'm pretty sure Nujabes sampled that originally. It's real overused though.

    Aaaalso you have a real nice studio, could we get some pictures.
    Thanks! I'll record another video or something since it's hard to capture everything in pictures. I'll be back there tonight, so keep your eyes peeled.

  30. Post #190
    Deweze's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,449 Posts
    It's not bad, but it's not really Rap/Hip-Hop at all. I'm all for uptempo stuff, but I can honestly say this isn't something a non-pop rapper would spit over.

    Also, you've go a lot of volume changes as the bass comes in & out. I'll chalk that up to Youtube compression tho.

    Edited:

    Also your "tag" is corny as balls. If I met someone who labeled their beats with "Another hot XXX beat", I'm going to expect the beat to be corny as fuck.

    Edited:

    For Rediscover.

    Awesome

  31. Post #191
    okeefe415's Avatar
    August 2008
    148 Posts
    Here's my studio


  32. Post #192
    Gold Member
    Rediscover's Avatar
    June 2009
    7,106 Posts
    It's not bad, but it's not really Rap/Hip-Hop at all. I'm all for uptempo stuff, but I can honestly say this isn't something a non-pop rapper would spit over.

    Also, you've go a lot of volume changes as the bass comes in & out. I'll chalk that up to Youtube compression tho.

    Edited:

    Also your "tag" is corny as balls. If I met someone who labeled their beats with "Another hot XXX beat", I'm going to expect the beat to be corny as fuck.

    Edited:

    For Rediscover.

    thank you so much for that dude, it made me notice a lot of stuff that i normally wouldnt have

    i broke my wrist the other day, so its kind of a bitch to produce at the moment, but im eager to see what i can do with your insight

    Edited:

    except i use ableton, not fl and i get most of my samples from the flip it section on future producers

  33. Post #193
    ExplosiveCheese's Avatar
    June 2010
    1,445 Posts
    Does TH89 still rap?

  34. Post #194
    Gold Member
    Croix's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,700 Posts
    Here's my studio


    Nice studio! I'm pretty jealous of the fact that you have 3 monitors


    Does TH89 still rap?
    Yeah http://soundcloud.com/swagberg

    And he's pretty good

  35. Post #195

    August 2011
    123 Posts
    Hey i Produced with fl studo 10 and this is one of my beats Feedback would be appreciated in the future :)


  36. Post #196
    Gold Member
    Rediscover's Avatar
    June 2009
    7,106 Posts
    Hey i Produced with fl studo 10 and this is one of my beats Feedback would be appreciated in the future :)


    your sounds are dull and sound very amateur

    the melody is super boring

    your drums are boring also and wayy too quantized, theres no groove or swing to it

    i guess its alright for a first attempt but you have a long way to go

  37. Post #197

    August 2011
    123 Posts
    it aint easy with only a keyboard and fl studio what program do you use and what plugins??? this is an old song i did with a sample i make my music from scratch now but before i used like in this one a sample

  38. Post #198
    Gold Member
    Croix's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,700 Posts
    Hey i Produced with fl studo 10 and this is one of my beats Feedback would be appreciated in the future :)

    Feedback? Okay here are some suggestions:

    - Don't use a lot of reverb on your kick drums. Sometimes it can work but as a rule of thumb you should try to avoid reverb on bass instruments.

    - Also be careful with the way you use reverb in general. Here you have used a looot of reverb with a very large room size. Try to set up a reverb on an aux track with a smaller room size, and a filter highpassing everything from 100-150 hz. Then send channels to it in appropriate amounts.

    - Sometimes having your beats and hits a little of the grid can add some really nice swing. Try turning off the grid in the piano roll sometimes and play with having some hits hit a little before or after the beats. Different velocities are also important to add a little bit of human feel to your drums.

    - You will usually want more than a two not piano playing with a few violin notes every now and then. Try to make a bassline, use more notes on the piano, use some kinds of chords. Music theory is the single most important thing for writing music and if you are not going to sample you will have to learn at least some of it.

    - Also try to read a little about compression and EQ. That's the hardest stuff to get good at so don't worry too much.

  39. Post #199

    August 2011
    123 Posts
    Feedback? Okay here are some suggestions:

    - Don't use a lot of reverb on your kick drums. Sometimes it can work but as a rule of thumb you should try to avoid reverb on bass instruments.

    - Also be careful with the way you use reverb in general. Here you have used a looot of reverb with a very large room size. Try to set up a reverb on an aux track with a smaller room size, and a filter highpassing everything from 100-150 hz. Then send channels to it in appropriate amounts.

    - Sometimes having your beats and hits a little of the grid can add some really nice swing. Try turning off the grid in the piano roll sometimes and play with having some hits hit a little before or after the beats. Different velocities are also important to add a little bit of human feel to your drums.

    - You will usually want more than a two not piano playing with a few violin notes every now and then. Try to make a bassline, use more notes on the piano, use some kinds of chords. Music theory is the single most important thing for writing music and if you are not going to sample you will have to learn at least some of it.

    - Also try to read a little about compression and EQ. That's the hardest stuff to get good at so don't worry too much.
    Thanks very helpful ill share a new one with the new stuff ive learned till next beat

  40. Post #200
    Gold Member
    Meader's Avatar
    March 2008
    4,130 Posts
    First time recording in a booth (home made, not professional), so I was pretty excited about that. Lyrics are on the cloud page. I did the mixing too, never done that before.

    Bar Confessions