1. Post #81
    MxOAgentJohnson's Avatar
    April 2009
    844 Posts
    the instant i get home i basically rip my pants off with the force of my own erection and i just have at for like 12 hours


    i am suffering from sleep deprivation due to this insane masturbation. please help
    I used to be like that after school.
    Waddling back home with a planet destroying boner tucked under my belt with my baggy shirts on (Noone noticed afaik)

    Get home, noone was home parents all at work, broke my belt and trousers of with the power of a jackhammer and began having at it.
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  2. Post #82
    Clyde (Irish)'s Avatar
    January 2012
    170 Posts
    im on page 2 of this thread and i have read every single comment
    is this what my life has come to? reading masturbation discussions?
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  3. Post #83
    KarloMcMarlo's Avatar
    January 2012
    712 Posts
    I usually just shove pinecones in my anus until I reach climax.

        regularly 1-2 times a day.    
    May I assist in that pursuit?
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  4. Post #84
    Abneto's Avatar
    July 2011
    6 Posts
    My penis brought me here.
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  5. Post #85
    Gold Member
    vexx21322's Avatar
    December 2008
    10,660 Posts
    The penis is an asshole. He's all: "Dude, masturbate to that." and I'm all, "No, I'm busy.". Then he's all, "Fuck you, jack it to that right now."
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  6. Post #86
    Don't lose your way
    Limed00d's Avatar
    February 2011
    6,260 Posts
    The penis is an asshole. He's all: "Dude, masturbate to that." and I'm all, "No, I'm busy.". Then he's all, "Fuck you, jack it to that right now."
    Because the penis doesn't care what it is, if it's porn it's porn

    What a douche
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  7. Post #87
    Gold Member
    Zoran's Avatar
    February 2011
    7,985 Posts
    2-5 times a day.
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  8. Post #88
    Gold Member
    eatdembeanz's Avatar
    July 2009
    10,845 Posts
    The penis is an asshole. He's all: "Dude, masturbate to that." and I'm all, "No, I'm busy.". Then he's all, "Fuck you, jack it to that right now."
    Penis does what penis wants.
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  9. Post #89
    schleimgurke1's Avatar
    March 2011
    1,311 Posts
    somtimes i touch my dicky and it grows big :D
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  10. Post #90
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    April 2010
    14,106 Posts
    Up to 3 times a day.
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  11. Post #91
    Fire Fucker
    Rebi's Avatar
    March 2011
    2,501 Posts
    Facepunch, I don't want to do it anymore. As in, I want to, but I don't have any urge to, something is wrong, oh so very wrong. I'm the most depraved person I know, so this can't be good.
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  12. Post #92
    Gold Member
    Cyanlime's Avatar
    August 2011
    1,917 Posts
    I have a very low sex drive and tend to wank out of boredom rather than horniness.
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  13. Post #93
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    Circle jerks?

    Do we have any goonerbaters on FP [other than me ]?
    holy shit i really wished i would never see that word again im 13 years old again and the world is terrible

    Edited:

    why am i even in this thread
    i blame akz
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  14. Post #94
    MY GIRLFRIEND HAS A WIENER
    Neena's Avatar
    April 2012
    69 Posts
    Having a girlfriend with low or no sex drive = Fapping ca. once a week to prevent stress.
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  15. Post #95
    Gold Member
    joshdasmif's Avatar
    July 2009
    1,661 Posts
    About 2 times a week, in a sexual relationship though
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  16. Post #96
    Gold Member
    mastfire's Avatar
    July 2008
    1,948 Posts
    i use my mind to jack off.
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  17. Post #97
    Gold Member
    Maxx's Avatar
    December 2006
    372 Posts
    i use my mind to jack off.
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  18. Post #98
    soccerskyman's Avatar
    October 2009
    4,279 Posts
    Anything from none for a few days, to 4 times a day, my schedule being the leading cause in variances.
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  19. Post #99
    MRTW113's Avatar
    March 2010
    4,725 Posts
    If you microwave that for 10-15 seconds it won't feel like you're banging a corpse
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  20. Post #100
    TonyP's Avatar
    May 2012
    1,481 Posts


    +



    =

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  21. Post #101
    starpoo90's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,139 Posts
    How can people be so horny?

    I've at most done it twice in one day. Usually once or twice a week. I can go a week or two without fapping.

    ~ Straight Normal people~
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  22. Post #102
    Gold Member
    Vodkavia's Avatar
    January 2012
    3,786 Posts
    I fap so much I burn from the friction.
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  23. Post #103
    starpoo90's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,139 Posts
    An acquaintance of mine said that it's important to use some sort of lube because doing it dry makes your penis too sensitive for when you actually get some.

    Whether this is try or not, I don't know.
    I just use spit.

    He also said not to climax to porn (Oops). It's pretty much conditioning and you'll have to unlearn in order to ejaculate when not watching porn, which I kinda believe due to experience.
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  24. Post #104
    Hiighwire's Avatar
    April 2012
    271 Posts
    An acquaintance of mine said that it's important to use some sort of lube because doing it dry makes your penis too sensitive for when you actually get some.

    Whether this is try or not, I don't know.
    I just use spit.

    He also said not to climax to porn (Oops). It's pretty much conditioning and you'll have to unlearn in order to ejaculate when not watching porn, which I kinda believe due to experience.
    I have no problem jacking off without porn. In fact, it's even easier and better than with it tbh.

    I have a very low sex drive and tend to wank out of boredom rather than horniness.
    This pretty much. I'm usually really bored at night and do it to kill 30 mins so I'll be more tired.

    Used to be once a day. Now I just skip a few days in between due to being too tired.
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  25. Post #105
    You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
    jaykray's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,186 Posts
    For some reason, multiple (unrelated) people are obsessed with the question of whether I masturbate or not. Apparently one of the reasons is because I prefer not to speak about girls as if they're pieces of meat.
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  26. Post #106
    JoeyZ's Avatar
    June 2010
    3,467 Posts
    Once or twice a day, breaks are for pussies
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  27. Post #107
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    For some reason, multiple (unrelated) people are obsessed with the question of whether I masturbate or not. Apparently one of the reasons is because I prefer not to speak about girls as if they're pieces of meat.
    man you're gay lol
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  28. Post #108
    starpoo90's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,139 Posts
    I have no problem jacking off without porn. In fact, it's even easier and better than with it tbh.
    It's a bit half and half for me.
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  29. Post #109
    atttapi0's Avatar
    September 2011
    711 Posts
    Why am I reading this?
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  30. Post #110
    starpoo90's Avatar
    January 2010
    1,139 Posts
    Because you wish to conform and be with people who share your interests.
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  31. Post #111
    People in sexual relationships...
    I still masturbate in the car while driving over to plow some broad.
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  32. Post #112
    Zambies!'s Avatar
    August 2009
    8,268 Posts
    -snip-
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  33. Post #113
    Gold Member
    _jesterk's Avatar
    March 2012
    1,423 Posts
    So do we really need an entire thread solely devoted to masturbation?
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  34. Post #114
    Gold Member
    gufu's Avatar
    May 2008
    9,290 Posts
    So do we really need an entire thread solely devoted to masturbation?
    Facepunch says that signs are pointing to yes.
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  35. Post #115
    ashxu's Avatar
    February 2009
    22,955 Posts
    So do we really need an entire thread solely devoted to masturbation?
    well we have a thread dedicated to spamming anime cat girl images so i dont see why not
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  36. Post #116
    Zorus's Avatar
    February 2010
    2,847 Posts
    im on page 2 of this thread and i have read every single comment
    is this what my life has come to? reading masturbation discussions?
    more like what your life has improved to
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  37. Post #117
    Ninja Guy's Avatar
    July 2010
    209 Posts
    I started masturbating when I was 9. Got my technique down and everything.
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  38. Post #118
    $1 TITLE!
    Skellyhell's Avatar
    December 2007
    3,749 Posts
    got boring, bought a fleshlight, how many more days of pounding this till im bored again
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  39. Post #119
    Gold Member
    nimaratu's Avatar
    March 2009
    1,025 Posts
    You men and your Fapping.

    Personally, I use a Baseball bat/Cricket Bat/Anything long without a sharp end. Mine have rubber hand grips, so it's fair to say it's -almost- as good as a Dick.
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  40. Post #120
    You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
    jaykray's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,186 Posts
    You men and your Fapping.

    Personally, I use a Baseball bat/Cricket Bat/Anything long without a sharp end. Mine have rubber hand grips, so it's fair to say it's -almost- as good as a Dick.
    Assuming you're a girl you have just managed to make at least 60% of the people in this thread masturbate.
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