The goons in Star Trek Online have been very active recently in griefing the poo poo out of people.
You see, Star Trek Online is a game that attracts the best kind of roleplay possible. These erotic roleplayers live out their sexual captain fantasies in space, including wonderful things like bridge RP (everyone gets on the bridge of a ship and pretends to do their thing, like being an engineer or whatever.)
Naturally, goons constantly raid these RP hangouts for laughs.
Last night, we managed to get ourselves named the subject of a MAJOR CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION. Here's the crosspost from the STO thread.
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The goon special ops division was doing the usual hang-out-at-Drozana (THE roleplaying hangout in Star Trek Online) spiel when we ran into someone named Gunney@gunnerland who was roleplaying a bartender. That means he stands behind the bar and pretends to serve other roleplayers drinks.
Naturally, one of us logged in to his fat naked Orion male and started dancing wildly on the bar.
Gunney didn't like this and made some very disparaging remarks which we responded to with fire extinguishers. After a few minutes of this, Gunney decided he'd had enough! He challenged us to a PVP match:
Having lost the match in horrible, spectacular fashion, Gunney and friends were not happy and started insulting us in trade chat. This went on for several minutes - Gunney is not good with words - before they warped out. Of course, we couldn't let this stand, so we used the player search function to locate their team and literally chased them around the galaxy.
Eventually, Gunney returned to Drozana, and boy oh boy was he mad! He'd managed to recruit a little posse for himself, including someone in a dual heavy cannon Bortasqu (a ship with a motherfucking turn rate of 5) who claimed he could beat anyone in a one-on-one, and someone else in a wonderful beamscort Guramba. For those not in the know, a Bortasqu is a gigantic fat space whale with a horrible turn rate, and cannons have the smallest firing arc - he literally would not have been able to hit anything with that ship. Putting beams on a Guramba - a fast, nimble ship - is also a terrible idea game-wise, so these people we were fighting were not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed.
In contrast, the goon PVP team practices regularly for exactly these occasions, and is pretty loving good.
Gunney and friends proceeded to CHALLENGE US AGAIN, stating that if we managed to beat him with all these epic people in his team we must be hackers.
This is where things got
really, really good:
For context, here, Gunney did 97 damage. That is less damage than a single shot from a heavy cannon. Gunney literally did gently caress-all.
Gunney and co. proceeded to call us cyber-criminals of the highest order, in what can only be described as a total loving meltdown:
uhm dude im runnig a special program to spot hackers why are your ships spikin it
were reporting you for unauthorized content, hacking, harrassment and several other cyber crimes
this will likely be the subject of a criminal investigation
I have no doubt in my mind that the CIA will be picking you up as criminals

You "Winners/Non-hackers" are also "Trollers who dictate and say that we dont hack"
Oats will come in and post the rest of the stuff we missed in this post, but - yeah.
:siren: the CIA will be picking you up as criminals :siren: