1. Post #1
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,934 Posts
    Hey guys, so I decided to create this topic as a compilation of our embarrassing moments for us to share.
    Our most dark, funny and embarrassing episodes into one topic.
    No need to hide the shame anymore, share it.


    So I was robbed the other day and as any normal robbery I called 911.
    The passed me to the police and I explained the situation
    I could barely listen to them over the phone since the volume was to low
    They were always putting me on hold for few to few minutes. I don't know why but I was starting to get annoyed.
    That and the music being extremely annoying
    So after a few hold a manly voice from the police officer suddenly comes up asking me what happened.
    As I was in the middle of the explanation the guy interrupts and says "A car will be there soon, hold on" and puts me on hold again with the stupid music.
    I get mad and say out loud: "I can't believe this fucker put me on hold again!"
    The music suddenly interrupts and the same voice replies:
    "This fucker what, sir?"

    I had no idea they could listen through the music
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Funny x 435Winner x 5Useful x 2Informative x 1Artistic x 1 (list)

  2. Post #2
    Dennab
    May 2012
    990 Posts
    When the person at the counter says "Enjoy your meal" and you say "You too".
    When someone waves their hand at you and you wave back only to find out they were acknowledging the person behind you.
    When someone tries to walk past you and you keep walking in the same direction as them.
    Stumbling over words in a conversation.
    Pushing a pull door and vice versa
    I once rose my hand up in the air before I went to talk to someone, thinking I was in school for I don't fucking know why.


    I also remember this one time I took a diarrhea shit in school and man was it loud. The initial splash followed by rapid violent bursts of ass ripping and additional water splashes left a scar in the back of my mind. I flushed the toilet after this painful event I had experienced and went back to class (The class was all the way at the other end of the hallway) and everyone in the classes adjacent to the bathroom was looking outside the hallway. I laugh my ass off every time I think about it though.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny x 211Agree x 29Winner x 5Dumb x 1Optimistic x 1Artistic x 1Friendly x 1 (list)

  3. Post #3
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,934 Posts
    I was walking through the beach with a couple of friends of mine and we reached a very remote place far away along the coast.

    The place was fairly rocky so it was easy to both get lost and to miss anyone laying on the sand.

    So me and my friends pick up this plank - probably from an old boat - floating above the water and we start making stupid shit with it. So I picked it up and started drawing in the sand with it.

    Then I don't know why I threw it across the rocks and I hear BONK followed by a manly "OUCH!"

    Next thing I know we're running for our lives from a nudist while yelling I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. But I wasn't being taken seriously because as he was running his dick started bouncing around in an obscene manner which made me laugh so damn hard that no diplomatic talk would save me from what was about to unfold.

    And it was the latest most embarrassing thing that happened these days.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Funny x 237Winner x 7Disagree x 2Optimistic x 2Friendly x 1 (list)

  4. Post #4
    I make sexist and racist jokes all the time yet,i still support the feminist movement and the rights of blacks.
    znk666's Avatar
    July 2010
    5,535 Posts
    Not being able to understand what a person is saying although you have asked the person to repeat it twice.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Slovakia Show Events Agree x 572Friendly x 2Zing x 1Useful x 1Funny x 1 (list)

  5. Post #5
    TonyP's Avatar
    May 2012
    1,481 Posts
    Waiting in the doctors office the other day and the nurse opens the door and says my name..

    at least i heard it as my name, so i got up and walked up to her and so did the girl she actually called.

    Awkward.

    Also

    When I came out my dad went to the police and tried to have them put a GPS anklet on me, and have them take my brother and my sisters 4 year old son out of the house so I don't "fiddle them".

    One time he saw me walking with my bf and he pulled over, got out, and pushed me against a fence with his hand on my collar at an intersection yelling at me.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Friendly x 213Optimistic x 13Funny x 5Dumb x 2Agree x 2Artistic x 1Winner x 1Disagree x 1 (list)

  6. Post #6
    ~ pissing excellence ~
    Fingers!!!'s Avatar
    May 2005
    2,835 Posts
    Not being able to understand what a person is saying although you have asked the person to repeat it twice.
    Him:
    Bla bla bla bla
    You:
    Heh, true.
    Him:
    What? That was a yes or no question man!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Brazil Show Events Funny Funny x 162Agree Agree x 28Late Late x 1 (list)

  7. Post #7
    YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME
    The Genie's Avatar
    August 2006
    10,018 Posts
    Waiting in the doctors office the other day and the nurse opens the door and says my name..

    at least i heard it as my name, so i got up and walked up to her and so did the girl she actually called.

    Awkward.

    Also

    When I came out my dad went to the police and tried to have them put a GPS anklet on me, and have them take my brother and my sisters 4 year old son out of the house so I don't "fiddle them".

    One time he saw me walking with my bf and he pulled over, got out, and pushed me against a fence with his hand on my collar at an intersection yelling at me.
    Your dad is a colossal asshole.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Agree x 326Disagree x 4Funny x 1Winner x 1Dumb x 1Artistic x 1Zing x 1 (list)

  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Trumple's Avatar
    September 2009
    6,225 Posts
    This reminds me of a thread I made ages ago (with my embarrassing story):
    http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1042421
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 9Informative Informative x 4Winner Winner x 3 (list)

  9. Post #9
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,934 Posts
    This reminds me of a thread I made ages ago (with my embarrassing story):
    http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1042421
    This is a rebirth of the Ancients then!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Optimistic Optimistic x 1Winner Winner x 1Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    Kirbyfactor's Avatar
    May 2010
    11,946 Posts
    This reminds me of a thread I made ages ago (with my embarrassing story):
    http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1042421
    Why not just put your hand infront of your nose and mouth?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP Netherlands Show Events Agree x 14Zing x 2Useful x 1Winner x 1Funny x 1 (list)

  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    Bredirish123's Avatar
    October 2006
    9,207 Posts
    I remember a time in 6th grade my class was having one of those small parties in which students bring snacks, drinks, candy, and other delicious food to eat while we socialize and watch movies all day. Before I continue I must make you aware of the fact that my school district was extremely poor--like we were using textbooks that were not only outdated by a decade, but were also falling apart. This often meant that things around the school were also in similar condition.

    Anyways, the day is going wonderfully, I am spending time with friends, I finally talked to a girl I like, and the movie was good too! Halfway through the day I was sitting in my desk eating a plate of delicious dips, chips, candy, etc...When a good friend of mine calls me over to his desk where the girl I liked had also been standing near with her close friend. I stood up eagerly, excited to see what might happen, and as I begin walking over to my friend my left pant leg became caught on a desk. This is where my school district's poverty bit me in the ass. It turns out that one of the metal support rods on the desk had been broken off some time before leaving a sharp jagged piece of protruding metal--just waiting for someones leg to get caught on. Needless to say as I keep walking my pants began ripping. In a matter of 4 seconds flat my Levi bootcut jeans became half of a pair of short shorts. The entire pant leg was ripped off in a fashion that you might see in a comedy. Though I was quite embarrassed and had to carry on for the rest of the day with my new fashion statement the girl I liked found it funny and we became boyfriend and girlfriend moments after it happened.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 8 United States Show Events Friendly x 215Winner x 53Funny x 10Zing x 2Artistic x 2Dumb x 1Useful x 1 (list)

  12. Post #12
    tomteglogg's Avatar
    January 2012
    86 Posts
    Never thought i would share this with anyone.. So, about three-four months ago I was at this amazing party where i got so fucked up i could barley talk or do anything at all, but besides that I for some odd reason managed to seduce this rather pretty girl into coming to bed with me for some love making if you know what i mean. So far this story doesn't seem to be awkward at all, but after fiddeling around for some moments, we where going at it doggy style until my dick slipped out and as i was about to enter once again i smashed my big ben right into her asshole. Naturally this caused quite a bit of a reaction as she let out a scream while jumping forward bashing her head into the wall, and after this little incident we for some reason went to sleep, not a single word was said. As you would expect after such, she had already left by the time i woke up and if that wasn't emberrassing enough it turned out that my sheets where covered in blood. Yes, she was on her period. Let's just say meeting her at random parties now causes a bit of an awkward silence...
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Norway Show Events Funny x 218Disagree x 4Dumb x 3Winner x 2Agree x 2Zing x 2Informative x 1Useful x 1Optimistic x 1Artistic x 1Friendly x 1 (list)

  13. Post #13
    Omilinon's Avatar
    October 2011
    1,669 Posts
    Never thought i would share this with anyone.. So, about three-four months ago I was at this amazing party where i got so fucked up i could barley talk or do anything at all, but besides that I for some odd reason managed to seduce this rather pretty girl into coming to bed with me for some love making if you know what i mean. So far this story doesn't seem to be awkward at all, but after fiddeling around for some moments, we where going at it doggy style until my dick slipped out and as i was about to enter once again i smashed my big ben right into her asshole. Naturally this caused quite a bit of a reaction as she let out a scream while jumping forward bashing her head into the wall, and after this little incident we for some reason went to sleep, not a single word was said. As you would expect after such, she had already left by the time i woke up and if that wasn't emberrassing enough it turned out that my sheets where covered in blood. Yes, she was on her period. Let's just say meeting her at random parties now causes a bit of an awkward silence...
    was not expecting that.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree x 124Disagree x 1Dumb x 1Funny x 1Useful x 1 (list)

  14. Post #14
    The Silent Rater
    Timenova's Avatar
    November 2009
    3,266 Posts
    was not expecting that.
    I don't think that she was expecting that.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Agree x 108Funny x 34Zing x 17Winner x 1Artistic x 1 (list)

  15. Post #15
    Mon
    Mon's Avatar
    April 2011
    4,102 Posts
    in kindergarten i showed my dick for show and tell

    good times
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows Vista Canada Show Events Funny x 394Winner x 19Agree x 6Useful x 1Optimistic x 1Artistic x 1Friendly x 1Informative x 1Disagree x 1 (list)

  16. Post #16
    It's time to unban Banshee Friend
    Dennab
    April 2011
    5,915 Posts
    in kindergarten i showed my dick for show and tell

    good times
    pics?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny x 145Optimistic x 11Useful x 2Informative x 2Friendly x 1Winner x 1Agree x 1Dumb x 1Zing x 1 (list)

  17. Post #17
    X6ZioN6X's Avatar
    August 2008
    2,669 Posts
    in kindergarten i showed my dick for show and tell

    good times
    I did something sort of like that in kindergarten..

    Teacher was doing teacher things (teaching) and then for some reason, I just jumped out of my seat and pulled my pants down.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny x 136Winner x 7Optimistic x 2Friendly x 1Useful x 1Disagree x 1 (list)

  18. Post #18
    (Feminazi) (Queen of the Furrys) (Girl Power!) (Massive Faggot) (Queen of the Diva's) (Women's right's activist) (The Classy Lady) (Bigger, Badder, Bronyer)
    Te Great Skeeve's Avatar
    March 2010
    1,638 Posts
    I once was playing a roleplay server when I was younger, using copy paste to do advertisements
    I alt-tabbed to look at some porn, copied a link, and you know, watched porn for a bit
    I then went back on the game, and copy-pasted without thinking and instantly pressed enter

    Advertised a porn link, was ackward
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Canada Show Events Funny Funny x 138Dumb Dumb x 11Winner Winner x 4Optimistic Optimistic x 1 (list)

  19. Post #19
    Dennab
    May 2011
    913 Posts
    the biggest thing that puts me off / makes me feel really awkward is when you're leaning over to kiss a girl and she turns away her face (im not saying i'm some sort of womaniser, it happened once , and that was more than enough)
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny x 29Agree x 5Friendly x 2Useful x 1Dumb x 1Optimistic x 1 (list)

  20. Post #20
    Septimas's Avatar
    July 2007
    1,879 Posts
    the biggest thing that puts me off / makes me feel really awkward is when you're leaning over to kiss a girl and she turns away her face (im not saying i'm some sort of womaniser, it happened once , and that was more than enough)
    Thats when you rape her right?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree x 62Funny x 19Dumb x 4Zing x 3Disagree x 2Friendly x 1Optimistic x 1Informative x 1Useful x 1 (list)

  21. Post #21
    Dennab
    May 2011
    913 Posts
    Thats when you rape her right?
    correct.


    Every time girls see me , they try to look fit, so they start running.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Winner x 105Funny x 27Zing x 5Dumb x 1Optimistic x 1 (list)

  22. Post #22
    Wickerman123's Avatar
    February 2009
    3,375 Posts
    She was drunk. I was drunk. I walked her home. She went in. I got worried thinking shed fall down the stairs, got up the stairs. She's fine. I go for the doorknob. BANG CRASH WOLLOP. I shit myself as she falls into (I presume) the wardrobe. I hear movement in her parents rooms so I dart into the Bathroom and hide behind the door. I'm there for half an hour listening to her parents trying to get a word out I her, her dad going downstairs and realising the house keys are gone.

    After deciding that everyone should go back to bed, the mum decides to go for a piss. I'm still behind the bathroom door.

    "Uh hi sorr-"

    "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

    Awkwardness insues as the dad comes running through and I have to explain the situation.

    I have to find the house keys, which seem to of ended up in a plant pot at the primary school. So I have to return the next morning with the keys.

    Awkward.

    The mum is a teacher at my school.

    Awkward.

    The school is ridiculously tiny so I see her every day.

    All I see when I see her is BIG SAGGY BOOBS. She was in a nightdress when she found me, and wasn't wearing a bra.

    Scarred. For. Life.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events Winner x 175Funny x 43Friendly x 5Informative x 3Zing x 1 (list)

  23. Post #23
    deanpfr's Avatar
    July 2012
    210 Posts
    I once was playing a roleplay server when I was younger, using copy paste to do advertisements
    I alt-tabbed to look at some porn, copied a link, and you know, watched porn for a bit
    I then went back on the game, and copy-pasted without thinking and instantly pressed enter

    Advertised a porn link, was the most awkward and embarrassing situation ever
    Ha, I rememberd seeing something like that. A kid did the exact same thing, but the link was what made it funny. The link was something like: xhamster/shemale_in_bondage_gets_dick_sucked_and_spanked


    It was followed by an 'oops', and then the guy teleported away.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 114Winner Winner x 1Artistic Artistic x 1 (list)

  24. Post #24
    Dennab
    July 2009
    2,257 Posts
    Drunk girl, mom, awkwardness.
    Scarred. For. Life.
    Have a threesome.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 42Agree Agree x 9Winner Winner x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  25. Post #25
    Septimas's Avatar
    July 2007
    1,879 Posts
    Onetime i came home after smoking about two blunts and was in my bed watching futurama. I fell asleep during it (it was marathon) and woke up two hours later to my mom coming in and yelling at me for some small issue. She told me to go fix it, and i had just woken up, so i stood up in my boxers with my morning wood, And my mom was like wtf are you jacking off?

    I told her i just woke up and for some reason she didnt believe it so she came in my room and saw that futurama was on and was like "are you one of those cartoon fags that masturbates to that!?" and i had to sit there and explain all that shit,

    god that was so fucking stupid

    another one

    This year, on 4/20/2012 my class had a practice AP exam first block, it was one of the released old test state exams, and we had to do it. I was 2 bowls of hash and 3 blunts deep, and it was my first block, so needless to say i was going to do bad or fail the test. I ended up googling one problem, and the whole answer key came up, so being the high genius i was, i copied every answer except 2 down, and ended up getting the HIGHEST GRADE MY TEACHER HAS SEEN IN 14 YEARS.


    The curve had me at a 120/130, and i was at a 99 regularly. He made me go in front of the class, with only the questions, and tell the class every right answer. I got to question 33 before he stopped me, and i only got 2 wrong so he gave me a 94 and told me not to cheat anymore hahahah
    ap english sucks dick



    another one

    my brother walked in on me beating my meat and i was just like yo dude, can you back the fuck off? and he just awkardly backed out of the room and was like wtf
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny x 224Winner x 6Dumb x 5Friendly x 3Artistic x 1Late x 1Useful x 1Optimistic x 1 (list)

  26. Post #26
    Kabstrac's Avatar
    April 2012
    3,343 Posts
    In grade 6 I lost an arm wrestle to my girl-crush,

    What a failure I was; and that is why I lift weights now.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Anonymous Proxy Show Events Funny x 96Friendly x 7Winner x 3Agree x 3Optimistic x 1Useful x 1Zing x 1 (list)

  27. Post #27
    KommradKommisar's Avatar
    August 2009
    12,421 Posts
    In grade 6 I lost an arm wrestle to my girl-crush,

    What a failure I was; and that is why I lift weights now.
    I know that feel bro. Just have to hope they think it's just you being nice.
    Then they see the shame on your face.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events Funny Funny x 43Friendly Friendly x 2Agree Agree x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  28. Post #28
    Hello Handsome
    ForgottenKane's Avatar
    February 2010
    13,761 Posts
    Once I brought my pet lizard to school and this girl (who coincidentally had the same name as my lizard) wanted to hold her. Of course my lizard just had to shit right then, of all times.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events Funny Funny x 184Winner Winner x 2Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  29. Post #29
    Black's Avatar
    December 2009
    3,006 Posts
    In college I turned around to look at a girl I liked but I didn't notice I was about to walk right into a stop sign. Needless to say, I turned around and went face-first into the sign, followed by falling backwards in shock.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Norway Show Events Funny x 36Agree x 3Friendly x 1Artistic x 1Informative x 1 (list)

  30. Post #30

    March 2010
    818 Posts
    I had a tiler come over to the house to fix some tiles on the kitchen floor, and as I am talking to him I see the dog coming up behind him. I try not to react and continue the conversation with him as the dog latches on to his leg and begins humping it. Eventually, the tiler says something like "I'm sorry, I can't talk to you anymore, your dog's fucking my leg". Christ, I was mortified.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Mac United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 187Winner Winner x 6Informative Informative x 2 (list)

  31. Post #31
    I bought this title for 1 dollar
    titopei's Avatar
    April 2009
    8,493 Posts
    I sit in the front of the class for my study block and when I go to sleep I would often jerk awake because I feel like I'm falling then everyone stares at me.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Agree x 105Funny x 8Friendly x 1Useful x 1Zing x 1 (list)

  32. Post #32
    ultimate poster
    Itachi_Crow's Avatar
    November 2007
    13,538 Posts
    there was this one time i was at work after my break, had chinese and a few hours later it was all like yo fuck yo colon nigga, and I had the shits really bad

    so I tell my coworker I gotta step out for a minute and make my way to the back mens restroom, luckily empty but there was a guy sitting on the bench outside of it

    get in, drop trou, sit and just damn. the noise it made was ridiculous.

    after the bomb dropped I can hear the guy outside say "oh my god" then get up and leave

    then I saw him leave a theater we were about to clean and he just looked at me funny

    Edited:

    not mine but another bathroom story at work

    my coworker went to take a piss and this 40-something year old mom follows him in and while he's pissing in the urinal she tugs on his shoulder to let him know her kid had thrown up all over the hallway

    he just kind of turned around and was like "look lady, I'll get to it in a minute, but i'm kinda busy right now"
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events Funny Funny x 166Winner Winner x 2Friendly Friendly x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  33. Post #33

    December 2011
    14 Posts
    i was in a birthday once, and i cought my self drinking straight from the bottle.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Norway Show Events Informative x 48Winner x 7Funny x 4Artistic x 4Useful x 3Dumb x 3Agree x 2Zing x 2Friendly x 1Optimistic x 1Disagree x 1 (list)

  34. Post #34
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,934 Posts
    I was in primary school and I had to turn in an assignment to the teacher. A copy or composition, I don't recall.

    So it was summer and the teacher was a fat cow who used to yell all the time with a very high pitched voice. Her classes looked like a very out of tune opera.

    Everybody was a little scared/disrespectful towards her since she lost her temper very easily.

    So I used to be the shy guy of the class, that and being the shortest I was but a small insect at her mercy.

    So, I had to turn in this essay and read it to the class.

    As I'm about to go up to the teacher's desk, she was wearing a very thin summer dress with lots of flowers painted all over.

    I remember being very nervous so I accidentally dropped my essay paper under her desk.

    As I crawled under the desk to pick it up I could sense the giggles coming from the class and feel the rage slowly building up inside my teacher's mind above me. (I could feel it like an aura. Like her very being was emanating dark energy).

    So I pick up the sheet and try to crawl back up as fast as I can when BUMP, my head hits the corner of the table with an astonishing force -BAM!

    The class starts to laugh hysterically!
    Teacher starts yelling in rage at them to shut up!
    I was still crouched near the table holding on my head (i was really hurt)
    They Laugh even harder , teacher get's up in rage
    her chair bumps into me

    And As I lose balance I rip off her dress in front of class.

    RRRRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP was the sound of my doom and demise as I fell on my back on the floor with a large piece of flowery dress in my hands and a silent, shocked and half naked enraged teacher looking at me with red face and the eyes of a demon.

    A heavy silence suspends the air.

    The class laughs, fuelling the rage of the beast. She picks me up, sobbing in rage, gives me slap and rips my essay in half.

    GET OUT! NOW, GO TO THE PRINCIPAL! -she yelled with eyes crying with rage.

    I walked towards the door and corridor in a large pace leaving behind the sounds of demonic yells and laughs from the class.

    A Janitor escorts me to the principal as I'm sobbing in shame.
    Only when I sit down in front of his desk do I realize I'm still holding the large shredded piece of my teacher's dress.


    I gave it to the principal.
    He called my parents and I stayed in his office until my mother came to pick me up only to find me sobbing with my head down sitting on the bench.

    Scarred for life, my friends.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Friendly x 147Funny x 22Winner x 12Artistic x 3Informative x 1Optimistic x 1 (list)

  35. Post #35
    Septimas's Avatar
    July 2007
    1,879 Posts
    I was in primary school and I had to turn in an assignment to the teacher. A copy or composition, I don't recall.

    So it was summer and the teacher was a fat cow who used to yell all the time with a very high pitched voice. Her classes looked like a very out of tune opera.

    Everybody was a little scared/disrespectful towards her since she lost her temper very easily.

    So I used to be the shy guy of the class, that and being the shortest I was but a small insect at her mercy.

    So, I had to turn in this essay and read it to the class.

    As I'm about to go up to the teacher's desk, she was wearing a very thin summer dress with lots of flowers painted all over.

    I remember being very nervous so I accidentally dropped my essay paper under her desk.

    As I crawled under the desk to pick it up I could sense the giggles coming from the class and feel the rage slowly building up inside my teacher's mind above me. (I could feel it like an aura. Like her very being was emanating dark energy).

    So I pick up the sheet and try to crawl back up as fast as I can when BUMP, my head hits the corner of the table with an astonishing force -BAM!

    The class starts to laugh hysterically!
    Teacher starts yelling in rage at them to shut up!
    I was still crouched near the table holding on my head (i was really hurt)
    They Laugh even harder , teacher get's up in rage
    her chair bumps into me

    And As I lose balance I rip off her dress in front of class.

    RRRRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP was the sound of my doom and demise as I fell on my back on the floor with a large piece of flowery dress in my hands and a silent, shocked and half naked enraged teacher looking at me with red face and the eyes of a demon.

    A heavy silence suspends the air.

    The class laughs, fuelling the rage of the beast. She picks me up, sobbing in rage, gives me slap and rips my essay in half.

    GET OUT! NOW, GO TO THE PRINCIPAL! -she yelled with eyes crying with rage.

    I walked towards the door and corridor in a large pace leaving behind the sounds of demonic yells and laughs from the class.

    A Janitor escorts me to the principal as I'm sobbing in shame.
    Only when I sit down in front of his desk do I realize I'm still holding the large shredded piece of my teacher's dress.


    I gave it to the principal.
    He called my parents and I stayed in his office until my mother came to pick me up only to find me sobbing with my head down sitting on the bench.

    Scarred for life, my friends.

    You should have peeked under her dress and asked how much
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny x 121Winner x 1Agree x 1Friendly x 1Informative x 1Artistic x 1 (list)

  36. Post #36
    Ginger gizzard amateur~
    Dennab
    July 2011
    5,135 Posts
    This reminds me of a thread I made ages ago (with my embarrassing story):
    http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1042421
    Better than having spaghetti fall out of your pocket, hate it when that shit happens.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows XP Turkey Show Events Dumb x 30Funny x 9Agree x 3Disagree x 3Optimistic x 1 (list)

  37. Post #37
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,765 Posts
    Not really embarrassing, but it could have been. In 8th grade I Walked into class and suddenly my pants just fell straight down. Like around my ankles all the way down. Somehow, I was the only person in the room so no body saw.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 101Winner Winner x 5Useful Useful x 1Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  38. Post #38
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,934 Posts
    Not really embarrassing, but it could have been. In 8th grade I Walked into class and suddenly my pants just fell straight down. Like around my ankles all the way down. Somehow, I was the only person in the room so no body saw.
    That happened to me too during gym class. I was playing football and a friend of mine steps on my leg and the pants get pulled down.

    I quickly grabbed them and pull them back up at lightning speed.

    By the good grace of God nobody noticed.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 Portugal Show Events Funny Funny x 58Zing Zing x 2Late Late x 1 (list)

  39. Post #39
    The Silent Rater
    Timenova's Avatar
    November 2009
    3,266 Posts
    One memorable occasion in which I embarrassed myself and caused a somewhat big reaction was last year, in Year 11 one afternoon. I used to keep Chilean rose-haired tarantulas (Very docile species) as a hobby, and as they grew they would molt off their old exoskeletons, which I kept.
    The exoskeletons are hollow and lifeless, but the chelicerae (Fangs) are molted as well as the spinnerets behind the abdomen. To a casual observer, and from a distance, they look like the actual tarantula.

    I brought in a pair of exoskeletons to show in science, as we were studying invertebrates (My forte). But during break, I took them out of their container to show my friends. I managed to trip over my own feet in the middle of my lecturing and dropped both of them in full view of the hordes emerging from their classes...the hysterical screams, swearing, and panicked trampling away from my general direction should indicate what happened during the next few minutes.

    Once I retrieved them, I was warned by a teacher on break duty not to take them out again, and my friends inevitably started laughing when we got out of sight. I was mortified at the time, but I admit that it was funny in retrospect.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United Kingdom Show Events Funny x 82Winner x 4Dumb x 1Artistic x 1Informative x 1Agree x 1 (list)

  40. Post #40
    OvB
    Facepunch resident scientist
    OvB's Avatar
    March 2007
    13,017 Posts
    I was sitting in art class in Junior year of Highschool. Was a pretty chill class. Teacher let us listen to music and what not. Well me and my friends were listening to one of their ipods using a splitter cable. I can't remember what we were talking about but it caused me to say "WHAT THE FUCK?" Given that I was listening to music fairly loud, what I thought was a whisper was actually echoed throughout the room. I suddenly got that feeling you get when you can sense people are staring at you, along with the unusual quietness of the room. I look up to see everyone looking at me. The teacher just says "HEY! watch your mouth." and everything goes back to normal.

    To add, I was pretty much the quiet kid in the class. So I imagine everyone was pretty awe-struck at the sudden outburst of profanity.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Windows 7 United States Show Events Funny Funny x 117Winner Winner x 4 (list)