please dont rape me
I WILL MALICE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN
Silly DustySheep you're just a sheep, you cant hold any shoehorns. You dont even have hands.
When i was younger i had the flu and i was running to the bathroom to puke. but i ended up puking on the floor and slipping on it and getting it all over my back....
I don't want to wish to remember any specific times, but I'm pretty sure a lot of us have the ol' "Tell something to a friend that only would go well telling them while the whole class is being loud as hell and as soon as you say it, it went awkwardly quiet."
Oh god, I remember one now.
It was 8th grade Dodge ball, just came back from running our laps. A female in my class who wasn't so fond of me who also happened to lose to me called me a "gay faggot". Sadly I did not even think of my words and said "Get used to it."
One time when I was like 5 I told my mom Happy birthday to early and before we gave her the cake.
When my dad informed me I cried for 20 minutes face down in shame.
Not really embarassing but more funny.
Grade 9 health class, our phys ed teacher pulls in a TV with a video of a live birth for us to watch (wtf). My semi-friend was sitting beside me in the back of the class, somehow excited for the video.
You got the occasional scene where the camera focuses on the vagina and the baby coming out. Of course you get the occasional "ewwww" or "what the fuck" coming from a student or two. You then get my friend. He started completely laughing his ass off at those scenes. When the woman queefed, he laughed even louder. He almost fell out of his chair laughing. Everyone was just shocked at why he was laughing. Of course since his laugh was rediculous, I started laughing too, and a friend of Ricky joined in too.
Needless to say I thought it was one of the most hilarious things now that I think about it, but before then it was so embarassing directly after.
At a club, a black girl sat on my on my lap and whispered into my ear, "I like white meat." I wasn't interested, and tried to say something cute and silly to clue her in nicely. What came out was, "Yeah, me too."
We were watching a film in class about a druggie whose legs were pretty much rotted away. I've seen the film here too, it was new back then. Anyway, my friend told me something hilarious during a scene where they cut his pants off to reveal his rotten legs.
I try to hold back but I start laughing when they start cutting them off and my laughter grows louder the more they cut off. When his pants were completely cut off I let out a loud, short "AAHHAH!" and the girls in front of me turn around and look at me like I'm some sort of insane motherfucker who gets kicks from that stuff.
-snip- im gay
Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.
No offense, but I'm still having trouble swallowing (I swear to god, don't) this whole story.
What was the name of the facility you're staying at? My mother works the industry, and she's probably referred there before. She might be able to snag me the patient roster.
bill murray posts on fp and read the posts
That godawful moment when someone is talking about something and you don't hear what they said very clearly so you just kinda nod and give a half-smile, and they sit there for a second before asking if you heard them and you say yes, but then it turns out they asked a question and you have to ask them to repeat it
Ahh my title... someone bought that for me. Thats rather a sore topic at this point (not that I mind talking about it, im just tired of doing so) but in short: One of my best friends is fourteen and while the title is a tad bit of an exaggeration. We would totally have sex with her if we lived in the same area.