1. Post #961
    DANK
    Nemisis116's Avatar
    July 2011
    10,305 Posts
    If you show a funny video to your friend, and they are really bored of it, and you say like, heres the funny part, and it kinda isnt as funny for you, and they are like silent and not amused...
    What video was it?
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  2. Post #962
    Gold Member
    katbug's Avatar
    January 2010
    6,521 Posts
    That'd be him

    still got the coolest dad of all time too
    wait what

    no

    My dad's michael cudlitz (he was bull in band of brothers)
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  3. Post #963
    Gold Member
    QuickSnapz's Avatar
    May 2009
    8,893 Posts
    wait what

    no

    My dad's michael cudlitz (he was bull in band of brothers)
    Can I have an autograph
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  4. Post #964
    DustySheep's Avatar
    May 2011
    879 Posts
    no
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  5. Post #965
    Gold Member
    QuickSnapz's Avatar
    May 2009
    8,893 Posts
    :(
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  6. Post #966
    DustySheep's Avatar
    May 2011
    879 Posts
    :)
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  7. Post #967
    Gold Member
    QuickSnapz's Avatar
    May 2009
    8,893 Posts
    please dont rape me
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  8. Post #968
    Gold Member
    killerteacup's Avatar
    October 2008
    7,767 Posts
    for the last time WE DONT HAVE A CAMERA, the program takes away most of our shit. Im only on the computer right now cause staff doesnt know about it. His name is Caleb but most people call him Theo. You might be able to find him on craigslist though... Hes a craigslist ho
    Well you got his name right and how old are you might I ask
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  9. Post #969
    DustySheep's Avatar
    May 2011
    879 Posts
    i won't
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  10. Post #970
    Gold Member
    QuickSnapz's Avatar
    May 2009
    8,893 Posts
    We must murder killerteacup for interrupting us
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  11. Post #971
    DustySheep's Avatar
    May 2011
    879 Posts
    I WILL MALICE YOU WITH A SHOEHORN
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  12. Post #972
    Dennab
    July 2009
    2,257 Posts
    Silly DustySheep you're just a sheep, you cant hold any shoehorns. You dont even have hands.
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  13. Post #973
    I am no one's bitch now! AHAHA!
    robotman5's Avatar
    October 2008
    4,111 Posts
    When i was younger i had the flu and i was running to the bathroom to puke. but i ended up puking on the floor and slipping on it and getting it all over my back....
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  14. Post #974
    In justice we trust!
    WhichStrider's Avatar
    July 2012
    521 Posts
    I don't want to wish to remember any specific times, but I'm pretty sure a lot of us have the ol' "Tell something to a friend that only would go well telling them while the whole class is being loud as hell and as soon as you say it, it went awkwardly quiet."
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  15. Post #975
    DustySheep's Avatar
    May 2011
    879 Posts
    Silly DustySheep you're just a sheep, you cant hold any shoehorns. You dont even have hands.
    I have a mouth.
    I can hold stuff in my mouth
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  16. Post #976
    I BANG 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS BUT ITS OKAY I ADMIT I HAVE PROBLEMS
    SHOE3045's Avatar
    March 2012
    666 Posts
    Well you got his name right and how old are you might I ask
    I am 18, why do you ask? hes 19
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  17. Post #977
    Goodthief's Avatar
    December 2009
    5,967 Posts
    wait what

    no

    My dad's michael cudlitz (he was bull in band of brothers)
    I thought it was you, you made the thread where you found the head of an action figure of his head right?
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  18. Post #978
    In justice we trust!
    WhichStrider's Avatar
    July 2012
    521 Posts
    Oh god, I remember one now.

    It was 8th grade Dodge ball, just came back from running our laps. A female in my class who wasn't so fond of me who also happened to lose to me called me a "gay faggot". Sadly I did not even think of my words and said "Get used to it."

    ...
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  19. Post #979
    ' w ''s Avatar
    August 2012
    81 Posts
    If you show a funny video to your friend, and they are really bored of it, and you say like, heres the funny part, and it kinda isnt as funny for you, and they are like silent and not amused...
    Reminds me of when I tell stories to my co-workers, they laugh the entire time then when I get to the part that makes it worth while explaining the whole thing they're like "oh that's stupid"
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  20. Post #980
    Mombasa's Hubby :3
    venn178's Avatar
    October 2008
    3,886 Posts
    Oh god, I remember one now.

    It was 8th grade Dodge ball, just came back from running our laps. A female in my class who wasn't so fond of me who also happened to lose to me called me a "gay faggot". Sadly I did not even think of my words and said "Get used to it."

    ...
    Greatest comeback 2012.
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  21. Post #981
    Tophat Enthusiast
    Quinnjdq's Avatar
    July 2011
    3,691 Posts
    One time when I was like 5 I told my mom Happy birthday to early and before we gave her the cake.


    When my dad informed me I cried for 20 minutes face down in shame.
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  22. Post #982
    Krinkels's Avatar
    March 2011
    3,435 Posts
    One time when I was like 5 I told my mom Happy birthday to early and before we gave her the cake.


    When my dad informed me I cried for 20 minutes face down in shame.
    give her the cake
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  23. Post #983

    April 2011
    4,489 Posts
    I am 18, why do you ask? hes 19
    Hmm, your story and your title don't add up. If you're gay for Bill Murrays son then why would you be fucking underage girls?
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  24. Post #984
    Gold Member
    RoflKawpter's Avatar
    December 2007
    2,568 Posts
    Not really embarassing but more funny.

    Grade 9 health class, our phys ed teacher pulls in a TV with a video of a live birth for us to watch (wtf). My semi-friend was sitting beside me in the back of the class, somehow excited for the video.

    You got the occasional scene where the camera focuses on the vagina and the baby coming out. Of course you get the occasional "ewwww" or "what the fuck" coming from a student or two. You then get my friend. He started completely laughing his ass off at those scenes. When the woman queefed, he laughed even louder. He almost fell out of his chair laughing. Everyone was just shocked at why he was laughing. Of course since his laugh was rediculous, I started laughing too, and a friend of Ricky joined in too.

    Needless to say I thought it was one of the most hilarious things now that I think about it, but before then it was so embarassing directly after.
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  25. Post #985
    I pushed my dad off the stairs and all I got was he came back
    Aerkhan's Avatar
    October 2009
    4,767 Posts
    One time when I was like 5 I told my mom Happy birthday to early and before we gave her the cake.


    When my dad informed me I cried for 20 minutes face down in shame.
    Wait. What?
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  26. Post #986
    Spirit Guide
    Big Dumb American's Avatar
    March 2009
    17,068 Posts
    At a club, a black girl sat on my on my lap and whispered into my ear, "I like white meat." I wasn't interested, and tried to say something cute and silly to clue her in nicely. What came out was, "Yeah, me too."
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  27. Post #987
    Gold Member
    SgtTupelo's Avatar
    July 2005
    5,018 Posts
    Not really embarassing but more funny.

    Grade 9 health class, our phys ed teacher pulls in a TV with a video of a live birth for us to watch (wtf). My semi-friend was sitting beside me in the back of the class, somehow excited for the video.

    You got the occasional scene where the camera focuses on the vagina and the baby coming out. Of course you get the occasional "ewwww" or "what the fuck" coming from a student or two. You then get my friend. He started completely laughing his ass off at those scenes. When the woman queefed, he laughed even louder. He almost fell out of his chair laughing. Everyone was just shocked at why he was laughing. Of course since his laugh was rediculous, I started laughing too, and a friend of Ricky joined in too.

    Needless to say I thought it was one of the most hilarious things now that I think about it, but before then it was so embarassing directly after.
    Something like this happened to me too.

    We were watching a film in class about a druggie whose legs were pretty much rotted away. I've seen the film here too, it was new back then. Anyway, my friend told me something hilarious during a scene where they cut his pants off to reveal his rotten legs.
    I try to hold back but I start laughing when they start cutting them off and my laughter grows louder the more they cut off. When his pants were completely cut off I let out a loud, short "AAHHAH!" and the girls in front of me turn around and look at me like I'm some sort of insane motherfucker who gets kicks from that stuff.
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  28. Post #988
    Der FΓΌhrer
    Quark:'s Avatar
    January 2011
    4,077 Posts
    -snip- im gay
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  29. Post #989
    Gold Member
    ScreamingGerbil's Avatar
    July 2010
    1,028 Posts
    Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.
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  30. Post #990
    mole3700's Avatar
    November 2007
    897 Posts
    Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound
    Whereabouts do you live?
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  31. Post #991
    Dennab
    July 2009
    2,257 Posts
    Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.
    Where do you live Israel?
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  32. Post #992
    Gold Member
    Justin Case's Avatar
    January 2008
    2,314 Posts
    No, actually I met Bill and shook his hand
    "Oh sorry, those were the fingers I massaged your sons prostate with."
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  33. Post #993
    I BANG 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS BUT ITS OKAY I ADMIT I HAVE PROBLEMS
    SHOE3045's Avatar
    March 2012
    666 Posts
    "Oh sorry, those were the fingers I massaged your sons prostate with."
    yeah, he seemed pissed. Prolly cause I fucked his son. woops...
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  34. Post #994
    Yoozil's Avatar
    September 2011
    537 Posts
    Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.
    Because jumping in the mud would save you from a rocket?
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  35. Post #995
    Gold Member
    ewitwins's Avatar
    December 2009
    14,136 Posts
    No offense, but I'm still having trouble swallowing (I swear to god, don't) this whole story.

    What was the name of the facility you're staying at? My mother works the industry, and she's probably referred there before. She might be able to snag me the patient roster.
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  36. Post #996
    Cree8ive's Avatar
    February 2011
    4,523 Posts
    yeah, he seemed pissed. Prolly cause I fucked his son. woops...
    How exactly does he know? And your title would make a interesting story as well.
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  37. Post #997
    Jherkin Gherkin
    Dennab
    October 2010
    12,198 Posts
    bill murray posts on fp and read the posts
    !!
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  38. Post #998
    Master Queef's Avatar
    June 2012
    42 Posts
    That godawful moment when someone is talking about something and you don't hear what they said very clearly so you just kinda nod and give a half-smile, and they sit there for a second before asking if you heard them and you say yes, but then it turns out they asked a question and you have to ask them to repeat it
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  39. Post #999
    deltasquid's Avatar
    October 2008
    3,392 Posts
    Because jumping in the mud would save you from a rocket?
    Well I assume it doesn't hurt to try. Better than standing up and getting knocked over.
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  40. Post #1000
    I BANG 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS BUT ITS OKAY I ADMIT I HAVE PROBLEMS
    SHOE3045's Avatar
    March 2012
    666 Posts
    How exactly does he know? And your title would make a interesting story as well.
    Staff sent Bill an email about how Theo and I had "relations" actually as punishment Theo was kicked out for three days. But since I had only gotten to the program a week or two prior there was no punishment for me.

    Ahh my title... someone bought that for me. Thats rather a sore topic at this point (not that I mind talking about it, im just tired of doing so) but in short: One of my best friends is fourteen and while the title is a tad bit of an exaggeration. We would totally have sex with her if we lived in the same area.
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