1. Post #321
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    I say you overthrow the fortress hierarchy and lock all the dwarves in their rooms with one dwarf controlling a mass of levers that can immolate any said dwarf at any time you like, along with military dwarves patrolling the hallway so none may escape.
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  2. Post #322
    Gold Member
    Neo Kabuto's Avatar
    November 2008
    5,641 Posts
    I say you overthrow the fortress hierarchy and lock all the dwarves in their rooms with one dwarf controlling a mass of levers that can immolate any said dwarf at any time you like, along with military dwarves patrolling the hallway so none may escape.
    And then let a gremin into the lever room and watch the real fun happen.
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  3. Post #323
    OBVIOUS LOLICON
    Twistshock's Avatar
    August 2007
    1,359 Posts
    If you're going to make a pumpstack, please read this.
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  4. Post #324
    CaioLugia's Avatar
    April 2012
    1,403 Posts
    I suppose It wouldn't be fun as everyone Is expecting, progress Is quite slow 'round here with the fortress...
    But prepare yourselves for dead dorfs, I can guarantee this.
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  5. Post #325
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    You might be interested to know you have 5 days left.
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  6. Post #326
    OBVIOUS LOLICON
    Twistshock's Avatar
    August 2007
    1,359 Posts
    Things are starting to look grim..
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  7. Post #327
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    559 Posts
    Clearly he got so absorbed in thinking like a dwarf that it seeped in to real life and he is currently in a hole on some desert island sitting atop a mound of crudely carved trinkets creating his master plan for pumping the lava at the centre of the earth in to a glorious fountain that will envelop everything.
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  8. Post #328
    Sexist
    person11's Avatar
    July 2006
    6,941 Posts
    If this falls apart I will take the save file again if that is ok
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  9. Post #329
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    If this falls apart I will take the save file again if that is ok
    It's alright with me. Moving on tomorrow if I don't get a reply.
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  10. Post #330
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    I'm next.

    Is this a good thing or a bad fun thing?
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  11. Post #331
    wallyroberto_2's Avatar
    August 2011
    2,291 Posts
    Haha... good luck.
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  12. Post #332
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    Looks like you're up, DeathDoom. You'll find the save on the previous page, wally posted it.
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  13. Post #333
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    Okay, got it.

    Here we go...

    Edited:

    243 citizens what the fuck guys i'm supposed to be able to run the damn game
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  14. Post #334
    Sexist
    person11's Avatar
    July 2006
    6,941 Posts
    and so DeathDoom's computer exploded

    he was never seen on Facepunch again
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  15. Post #335
    Gold Member
    Neo Kabuto's Avatar
    November 2008
    5,641 Posts
    Okay, got it.

    Here we go...

    Edited:

    243 citizens what the fuck guys i'm supposed to be able to run the damn game
    If it's too big an issue, you could always do things like lower the GFPS and turn off temperature (maybe, it hasn't been too involved in the past, but if you bring out any lava/magma, you'll need it on).
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  16. Post #336
    OBVIOUS LOLICON
    Twistshock's Avatar
    August 2007
    1,359 Posts
    Okay, got it.

    Here we go...

    Edited:

    243 citizens what the fuck guys i'm supposed to be able to run the damn game
    You could give the surgeons something to practice on.
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  17. Post #337
    Terminutter's Avatar
    June 2010
    6,204 Posts
    Issue with the fort is that the child cap does not work. I set it to 30 during my turn IIRC, and they still kept coming, even though they exceeded it
    Also, not got any gobbos or the like afaik, we should have been sieged by year 3, if not year 2.
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  18. Post #338
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    If it's too big an issue, you could always do things like lower the GFPS and turn off temperature (maybe, it hasn't been too involved in the past, but if you bring out any lava/magma, you'll need it on).
    Hmm...

    Issue with the fort is that the child cap does not work.
    You could give the surgeons something to practice on.
    Edited:

    I think I got this.
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  19. Post #339
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    Arrival Update:

    9th Granite, 257

    My name is Dotep Rashibesh, colloquially known as DeathDoom. I am a farmer by trade, but my true skill lies within my tongue. As such, I figured that I should keep a journal of my exploits from this point forward, as I have just received most fortunate news: Iíve been chosen to oversee a most prosperous fortress, located many days travel away! I donít know much about this place, called Treatywhispers, but I figured that it canít be worse than here!

    Where I currently reside is so desperate that it is currently being run by the son of the previous overseer. Apparently, no one other than me is bothered by the fact that the varmint is FUCKING NINE YEARS OLD. Thatís another thing about me: I fucking hate children. With a burning passion. They just run around the fort, clog up the hallways, eat our food, and run around naked.

    Whatís worse is that Iím convinced that the brutes are out to get me. A week ago I woke up to the unpleasant feeling of drowning. Iím not sure how all of that water got into my room, but Iím pretty sure a group of them got their hands on a bucket and decided to occupy their time attempting to teach me how to swim.

    But enough about children. Iím getting away from this dump at long last!

    19th Granite, 257

    After much travel, I finally arrived at my new home. As I tried to find my way to my office, I brushed passed a rather large group of children. I didnít think much of it at first. It wasnít until the bookkeeper handed me the list of current residents that I realized something was very, very wrong.





    That was just the tip of the iceberg. I lack the words to describe what I felt when I came across this, so I shall use the words of a certain dwarf who, in a fictional account, found himself in similar circumstances to mine.

    What

    The

    Fuck.

    20th Granite, 257

    A foreman just burst into my office in the middle of breakfast and impatiently asked me what he was to do next. I asked him his profession and he just replied, ďCrafter StoneĒ.

    I donít know what imbecile was in charge of naming professions, but Iíve changed everything and sent out an APB on the description of the dwarf who was in charge of naming.

    Iíve also noticed that the local dwarves were still using their birthnames in all accounts. Since, of course, this is very impractical, I have ordered that all dwarves over the age of twelve pick new names for themselves to more easily distinguish them from each other. The children I named myself.




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  20. Post #340
    Gold Member
    Bordellimies's Avatar
    June 2009
    5,308 Posts
    I would love to play a succession game, but I have a feeling I would just screw up everything, you know, not do anything important, screw up the fortress completely, and of course forget to do the reports. So I'll just stay away.
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  21. Post #341
    Sexist
    person11's Avatar
    July 2006
    6,941 Posts
    Dont be worried about screwing up.

    The worst you can do is not change too much stuff
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  22. Post #342
    If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
    Liem's Avatar
    November 2011
    7,076 Posts
    Screwing up is the best possible thing that can happen in a dwarf fortress game.
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  23. Post #343
    wallyroberto_2's Avatar
    August 2011
    2,291 Posts
    A foreman just burst into my office in the middle of breakfast and impatiently asked me what he was to do next. I asked him his profession and he just replied, ďCrafter StoneĒ.
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  24. Post #344
    Pokey McFork's Avatar
    September 2009
    996 Posts
    I still say we see how we can weaponise children.

    I wonder if we can use DT to make a child army.
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  25. Post #345
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    I still say we see how we can weaponise children.

    I wonder if we can use DT to make a child army.
    Don't worry, I already have a plan that involves weapons and children.
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  26. Post #346
    If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
    Liem's Avatar
    November 2011
    7,076 Posts
    Can we use them as catapult ammo
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  27. Post #347
    Gold Member
    Bordellimies's Avatar
    June 2009
    5,308 Posts
    I still say we see how we can weaponise children.

    I wonder if we can use DT to make a child army.
    Dwarven Child Care
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  28. Post #348
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    I'm looking through Dwarf Therapist and I realized that someone turned on hauling labors for all of the children at some point.

    Hrm...


    Anyways, update imminent.
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  29. Post #349
    wallyroberto_2's Avatar
    August 2011
    2,291 Posts
    Well we had to put those damned children to work SOMEHOW.
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  30. Post #350
    Sexist
    person11's Avatar
    July 2006
    6,941 Posts
    food
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  31. Post #351
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    Spring Report

    25th Granite, 257



    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHATíS GOING ON I JUST GOT HERE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS SHIT

    26th Granite, 257

    Scouts are reporting that the beast is in fact trapped in a remote section of the cavern and cannot, in fact, reach us. As a result, Iíve put off any plans involving the underground until we have a competent army.

    2nd Slate, 257

    Terminutter has been possesed by an unknown force. Right now, heís running around the fort gathering random materials, muttering to himself. Whatever, Iíve ordered my assistant to keep an eye on him and to notify me when he starts killing people.

    7th Slate, 257

    A female dwarf approached me today to report a missing person. Her son had been missing for a week and she was getting worried. I told her that he was fine, just probably got lost or something. She pleaded with me to send out a search party but I figured that that would just interrupt work on my new project. Itís for the children, after all, so it takes precedent.

    8th Slate, 257

    Iíve been reading my past entries and Iíve discovered that I mentioned a project I had set in motion and had failed to journal it! Well, you see, Iím building a child daycare, so that we donít have children running around the fortress everywhere clogging up the halls, but rather have them all contained in a safe environment where they can grow and learn! Iím sure the little angels will be absolutely thrilled once itís completed!

    10th Slate, 257

    Good news everyone! Terminutter has apparently been working on a legendary artifact for the past week.
    Bad news: Itís a grate.






    11th Slate, 257

    Someone finally found the missing child. Apparently, he died in his sleep, as he was found dead in his room. Some of the doctors are curious as to how exactly he died, but Iíve ordered that the body be entombed immediately. The last thing we need is a bunch of dwarfs tantruming over the decay of their ďpreciousĒ child. Whatever, one less mouth to feed, as it were.

    20th Slate, 257

    Dammit, another one popped into my office this afternoon. Said her ďprecious little princessĒ hadnít been seen in a week. I said that she should stop referring to her children in such an elven manner and sent her on her way.

    28th Slate, 257



    THOSE BASTARDS. THEY TOLD ME I WOULD BE IN CHARGE HERE. No one said anything about the King coming over and taking command! Why would this even happen? This is supposed to be MY fort.

    Mark my words, one day very soon heíll ďdieĒ and his fucking son or daughter or favorite goat will take over as monarch OVER THE WHOLE DAMN KINGDOM, just like what happened at my previous residence. Fucking hell.

    29th Slate, 257

    I had a talk with the King. Heís been so impressed with my work here that heís willing to keep me as his overseer, provided that I heed his royal words and manufacture dragon dildos at his command. Iím paraphrasing, but thatís the gist of whatís going to happen.

    2nd Felsite, 257

    Remember that child that went missing two weeks ago? They found her too, just like the last one: dead in her sleep. People are starting to get worried but I just wrote it off as a weird coincidence and ordered the body buried post-haste.

    15th Felsite, 257

    Another one went missing last night. This time a dwarf staggered in sober and explained, and I quote, his ďwork boy hadnít reported to work in a week.Ē

    Iím pretty sure that thereís child labor laws against this sort of thing, but hey, the poor dwarfís sober, what can you do? I just told him not to worry, and jokingly told him that the body will show up in a week. He chuckled, hiccuped, and staggered back out of the room.

    22nd Felsite, 257

    Itís like clockwork now, they actually found the body of the child. Just like the other ones, he was asleep in his bed. A group of doctors came into my office to deliver the news, and they told me that they had performed an autopsy on the body without my knowledge and discovered that the body had been completely drained of blood. I chastised them for what they did, and ordered the body buried immediately.

    23rd Felsite, 257

    There are rumors spreading in the fortress that thereís a vampire in the fortress, and they he preys on small children fast asleep in their beds in the night, no doubt as a result of the recent deaths. Of course, such talk is nonsense and is pure fiction. Vampires do not, after all exist. However, such superstitious talk still persists. Iíve sent out an order stating that anyone caught mentioning the word ďvampireĒ shall be severely punished.

    25th Felsite, 257

    Another dead dwarf, this time an able-bodied adult Farmdwarf. The doctors tell me that he was, like the last one, drained of blood. This is not helping the pesky vampire rumors terrorizing the fort. Something has to be done that will put the minds of the dwarfs to rest. Iím at a loss for ideas right now. Maybe-

    Playerís Note:

    Hilarious things are happening. Not hilarious as in what the fuck everyone is dying, but hilarious like wow I canít believe that actually just happened. Probably wonít get to it until Autumn report, though.
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  32. Post #352
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    559 Posts
    Goes from being a fort for outcasts from the dwarven kingdom to being the mountainhome itself!
    Please use the noble trap as soon as the king makes any demands, it's efficient and discrete!
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  33. Post #353
    wallyroberto_2's Avatar
    August 2011
    2,291 Posts
    Wow thats a very active vampire. Or is it two? Only one way to be sure!
    Magma.
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  34. Post #354
    Terminutter's Avatar
    June 2010
    6,204 Posts
    Do I win the award for most shitty artifact 2012?
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  35. Post #355
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    Summer Report

    19th Hematite, 257



    Scouts are again reporting another forgotten beast in the underground, as if we didnít have enough to worry about. Fortunately, he seems to be in an isolated area, just like the last one. So now we have two bloodthirsty cretins running around down there. Great!

    25th Hemitite, 257

    Another dwarf child has been found dead, blood intact this time. What a waste...

    3rd Malachite, 257

    Progress at the fort is slow.

    Iíve expanded the army to include 29 regulars. As it turns out, all of the dwarfs who arrived with the king are extremely skilled combatants. As a result, Iíve ordered my metalsmiths to work overtime creating iron armor for everyone.





    The child daycare center is coming along smoothly, but slowly. We seem to be at a shortage of mechanisms, so Iíve had to expand our production facilities for them. I suspect that it will be fully operational sometime during late Autumn.

    For the most part Iíve been letting the fort run itself. Iíve ordered that clothes be made en masse, since Iíve noticed that everyone around here seems content to walk around in rags. Iíve also expanded our burial facilities in light of the recent deaths.

    Perhaps after the daycare is built, things at this fort will run a little faster, as it were. Hrmphrmrmmm...

    12th Malachite, 257

    One of our dwarfs have been possessed. Again. This time it was a farmer. He was going to plant some seeds when he just stopped what he was doing, threw his seeds into the air, and started running through the halls, flailing his arms screaming ďWOOD PLEASEĒ at the top of his lungs. As he ran past the king, he immediately stopped, stared right into his eyes, and shouted ďALL HAIL - KING OF THE LOSERS.Ē When he said that, it sounded like many dwarfs were saying it all at once. Then, he turned and ran off on his merry way.

    22nd Malachite, 257

    He finished making whatever he was making.





    Oh look a scepter. Iím sure the king will be pleased.































    Attatched to the report is a torn, wrinkled, handwritten note. The handwriting is immaculate and suggests it was written by a dwarf in a position of nobility or a skilled craftsman.


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  36. Post #356
    Gold Member
    Géza!'s Avatar
    January 2008
    6,036 Posts
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  37. Post #357
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    559 Posts
    Hey age of empires 2 reference in there, nice.
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  38. Post #358
    If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
    Liem's Avatar
    November 2011
    7,076 Posts
    Hey age of empires 2 reference in there, nice.
    Now I have to go play that game again
    Time to gather some friends
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  39. Post #359
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    So was that the end of DeathDoom's turn? If it was, great way to end it.
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  40. Post #360
    DeathDoom's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,100 Posts
    Autumn Report

    2nd Limestone, 257

    The fall season has started with another death. A child has been found dead in his room, just like all of the previous deaths. Once again, the doctors claim that he was devoid of blood, and the ďvampireĒ rumors continue to run rampant. I think I know how I can fix this, though...

    21st Limestone, 257

    Another death! This time, I saw the vampire suck the life out of the poor fellow!



    England shall be punished with all due haste, sentenced to death for the string of crimes which he has committed over the past months. However, heís since vanished and is still at large. Iíve sent out an APB and trust that he will soon be apprehended.

    5th Sandstone, 257

    Another dwarf has died today, a soldier this time. No blood. He was probably killed trying to apprehend the suspect. Iíve stepped up the patrols around the fort and readied the execution chamber when we do catch him.

    12th Sandstone, 257

    England has been arrested today. He was found cowering in the crypts, the sick bastard. Thereís no telling what sort of horrors he had planned to do or had already carried out upon the dead. Iíve ordered his execution to take place next week, and I intend on making it public so that everyone can see and we can all put this vampire business behind us.

    19th Sandstone, 257



    23rd Sandstone, 257





    There has been an attempt on my life this morning. My hands are shaking with anger as I write this. I was going to the underground river in order to fetch some water, when I noticed that there was a dwarf following me. I thought nothing of it, until he deconstructed the platform adjacent to the one that I was standing on, so that I tumbled into the water! Luckily, I can handle myself underwater and, even more fortunately, Iím certain that I saw my would-be assassin fall into the water himself, drowning no doubt. Even though I know that he is dead, I cannot help but feel as if I am trapped underneath a blanket of ill-wishes. I will have to be more careful from now on. Itís just a hunch, but I have a feeling that the children are behind it all. I cannot wait until the day that the new daycare opens. I hear it wonít be long now...

    The rest of the report has been ripped off























    Attatched to the report is another dishevelled piece of paper that has dates with notes scribbled under them



    -and heís struck again. The vampire, he killed another child, this one he called ďIdlefuckĒ. I do not know the childís real name, as heís changed all of the childrenís names and ordered their old names be forgotten. Iíve had one witness come to me today already, but no doubt there are more who have witnessed the killing who are afraid to come forward.

    Iím not sure what Iíll do about this. DeathDoom is in a position of great power, and I have a feeling if we try to report it to anybody, heíll just have us all killed.

    Thereís got to be some way to get rid of him. Perhaps using his own dastardly inventions against him?

    23rd Limestone

    The military was going around the fort yesterday looking for the dwarf called England. Heís been accused of the murder of ďIdlefuckĒ. I couldnít believe it at first, until I learned that the witness was none other than DeathDoom himself. It appears that heís trying to frame an innocent dwarf to get the fortress to calm down over the whole vampire debacle and draw attention away from himself. I will have none of this! I have to find England before the military does.

    24th Limestone

    I found England alive! He was just wandering the halls completely oblivious to the danger that faced him. I told him about what happened and told him to hide in the burial hall. Iím certain he will be safe there.

    5th Sandstone

    Three witness came to me today saying that they saw DeathDoom kill a soldier in his sleep! It happened in the middle of the hospital with everyone around. It seems that heís having a hard time containing himself. Well, that or heís looking for an excuse to step up the search for England. Word is he still hasnít found him.

    Godspeed England.

    12th Sandstone

    They found England.

    19th Sandstone

    They killed England

    20th Sandstone

    This is certainly quite a discovery.

    Iíve been looking over some of the records of the dwarven kingdom that the king brought with him for the past few days trying to find something on DeathDoom. Thatís when I noticed something peculiar: I couldn’t find anything. Absolutely nothing at all, it was like DeathDoom didnít exist. I thought that I had hit a dead end until I looked at the records at the end of the year 256.

    He died.

    But that wasnít all, reports say that he was killed while en route to some dwarven fortress off in some place. The specifics were redacted, but from what I could gather he was to be the overseer when the year 257 came around. It didnít sound important until I read his autopsy. He had some puncture wounds on his neck that the coroner thought was consistent with stab wounds and, curiously, all of his blood was gone.

    Suddenly it all made sense. The real DeathDoom, who was going to be our overseer, was killed by a dwarven vampire who then assumed DeathDoomís identity. He had everything he needed: the papers, the clothes, and most importantly, the social skills needed to pull such an endeavor off. Once instated as overseer, he made subtle changes to the fortress records to confuse any such attempts as this. Of course, all of that was for naught once the king arrived with his official records.

    Even better, I think I found the name of the vampire who killed him: Rashibesh Akmamdakas Zeg. Thatís his real name, although I suspect that heís been living under various aliases ever since he was cursed as a vampire. Where he came from before he arrived here, however, remains a mystery.

    23rd Sandstone

    Iíve gathered a small group of followers in the wake of the past events. Hopefully we will grow in number, but that isnít as important now as it once was. We finally have a plan. Itís simple, we kill the vampire. Iíve had a platform built over the underground river. Itís attached to another platform which, when deconstructed, will cause the first platform to tumble into the river along with anybody who is standing on it.

    Now, all we need is a way to get him to stand on it...

    24th Sandstone

    IT. DID NOT. WORK.

    It was all going just swimmingly up until the part where the platform deconstructed. From there, I was thrown into the water along with the beast. I canít swim! I was trying my damndest not to drown, and nearly did, until by some miracle of nature I felt my hand on something - it was the edge of the water! From there I climbed out and expected to see a dead vampire wash up at the end of the river, but alas! He wasnít dead! Iím not sure what, exactly, went wrong, but weíre going to have to use something bigger and better...

    25th Sandstone

    Vampires cannot drown.

    Well fuck.







    Edited:






    Winter Report

    1st Moonstone, 257

    Theyíre watching me. The children.

    I think that they know. Know what? I donít know, but theyíre looking out for me. Theyíre watching with their beady eyes and empty stares. Then they scamper off to where every they go.

    But their reckoning will come.

    Soon.

    11th Moonstone, 257

    I tripped.

    I tripped over a single stone that should have been hauled away weeks ago. The children were watching and I tripped. I TRIPPED. How am I supposed to maintain an illusion of power if I go around TRIPPING.

    DO YOU SEE THIS KATSLET?! I HOPE YOUíRE PAYING ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET FERTILITY RUN RAMPANT IN DWARVEN SOCIETY. Children happen. THEYíRE LIKE RATS. No, worse - FLIES.

    15th Moonstone, 257

    Itís not just the children anymore. The citizens, they donít trust me. They think that Iím incompetent. Work isnít getting done, things are moving too slow - because of the children. Once I deal with the children Iím sure things will be better.

    Right Katslet?

    21st Moonstone, 257

    IT IS COMPLETE.





    DWARVEN CHILDCARE AT ITS FINEST.

    1st Opal, 257

    A new month. Opal.

    I like opal.

    But not as much as I like cinnabar.

    What was I writing again?

    Oh right.



    5th Cinnabar, 257

    You know what else I like? Cats.

    7th Obsidian, 108

    I was born today.

    13st Catstone, 9313

    HOW AM I FAT IF I NEVER EAT FOOD, HMM?
    FOOD FOR THOUGHT AS IT WERE.

    YOU KNOE WY I NEVíR EAT?? NIETHER DO EYE.

    The rest of the report is completely illegible










    Two more reports are attatched. The first one is merely notes scribbled under dates


    13th Moonstone: Heís going insane. Tell Worm that we absolutely must have the military on board before next month. I asked the mechdwarfs what he was working on but they have no clue. All they know is that it involves gratuitous amounts of iron spears

    20th Moonstone: Unveiling is tomorrow, make sure that the captain of the guard knows what to do, and double check that the payment got through to the militia commander.

    21st Moonstone: Blood. Everywhere. Most of the children have been killed along with a few workmen who were unlucky enough to be caught in the room when it was engaged.


    The second report is much more formal, and the handwriting reflects that



    22nd Moonstone, 257

    My name is Iden Ducimmisten, otherwise known as Worm. I am the bookkeeper, and, in the meantime, interim Overseer until we can procure another one from the mountainhomes. For now, this shall be both my journal and official account to be submitted to whatever authority requires it.

    Since weíre in the precarious position of being the capital, Iíve asked the king what we should do, but he merely grunted and commented that he had to be somewhere else. Useless nobles. I myself could be considered a noble, but I at least do a useful task for the fortress and demand little in return other than a quiet place to do my work.

    Today is a momentous occasion. Rashibesh Akmamdakas Zeg, the vampire who had been running this fortress for the past year has been detained and sent into the blender. Thatís what we call it, by the way, the contraption that heís spent all year building. He refers to it by all accounts as a child ďdaycareĒ, but itís little more than a small room fitted with spikes everywhere. Around 50 children were killed before the citizens of this fortress overcame and arrested the vampire. He was thrown into his own contraption, and there he languishes in chains until he falls in a spike and dies. He was given a fountain pen and papyrus so that he may write for our own amusement, as he is on the verge of going mad. While he doesnít show it, we all know it.

    I suppose I should mention that Iíve been trying to send for help from the mountainhomes with various notes added to the reports that were sent back, but nothing came. We had to take matters into our own hands and we did.

    I will use this journal to record all notable events until I am relieved of my position.

    5th Opal, 257

    A dwarf has began a mysterious construction!

    11th Opal, 257

    As a result of all of the childrenís deaths in the blender, many dwarfs are tantruming. It hasnít gotten out of control, but itís certainly a problem.

    15th Opal, 257

    Hairybasements has completed his artifact.





    1st Obsidian, 257

    One of the surviving children has gone berserk, lashing out at everyone in sight! The militia had to be called into action to put the poor fellow down.

    17th Obsidian, 257

    I received news this morning that a new overseer is to arrive at Treatywhispers soon to replace me. As such, I find it prudent to produce the following statistics.

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