1. Post #41
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    Fall Report

    Litast Dedukngotol, 6th of Limestone, Early-Fall, 251

    Everything is going well, I think this fort just might sustain itself long enough to get off this bloody island. I saw a tree move as well today, but then I realized it was Rimtar the woodworker chopping down another tree, doing his work like I asked. I don't think the elves are gonna be happy, we're cleaving down groves of the stuff.



    Those fucking rains came back, too. The new recruits from the other village are a great help on our mission, no matter how many puddles of water we slip in while hauling bloody yak parts outside. Speaking of recruits, I think it might be time for a military of our own, with me as the commander.




    Litast Dedukngotol, 14th of Limestone, Early-Fall, 251

    The trees have been turning yellow, the scenery in the area is truly beautiful. We also got some fresh pups today from the mama dog. They just follow their mother around, mabye if I trained her to be a war dog they'd learn and I could turn them into ferocious wolves, but that's just a fantasy of mine. Call me crazy, but my mouth waters when I look at one of them.



    In other news, me and Zefon have been discussing the possibility of other towns like ours, cast asunder to this wretched place we now call home. Just to be sure, we sent a letter in the bottle stating our location and an invitation to our growing community. We hope that some poor souls take up our offer.

    Litast Dedukngotol, 25th of Limestone, Early-Fall, 251

    I'm currently gorging down on some delicious puppy meat. Why? I couldn't resist my feral impulses and I had Zefon kill one of the puppies, but I kept a breeding pair just for good measure. You know those pigs that I wrote about in the Summer? We killed them too. As far as I'm concerned, it got us about 30 to 40 good helpings of meat.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 4th of Sandstone, Mid-Fall, 251

    Crunch, crunch, crunch. My ears are pretty much deaf to any other sound, because that's the only sound I ever hear anymore with all these leaves everyone walks on other than my heart beating and me talking, since all these trees are dying. These ravens are starting to piss me off as well, I tried to catch up but they kept flying away. I had Reg the hunter try and do it, but he couldn't do much either which I don't understand since he has a fucking crossbow. What to do.




    Litast Dedukngotol, 15th of Sandstone, Mid-Fall, 251

    Looks like someone got our letter, because here come more migrants. I can't wait to meet the- are you FUCKING KIDDING ME.



    TWO GOD DAMN PEOPLE. IS THAT IT?

    Anyway, here's my updated roster that I did in my new office. At least one of them has some mining skill.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 29th of Sandstone, Mid-Fall, 251

    Our hospital is finished(mining out the room, anyway). With all this phyllite lying around, I think I'll build our defense out of it. I still want my room to be made of soap however.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 13th of Timber, Late-Fall, 251

    Trade caravans have come, finally. It's the King's caravans I realize, and I'm very reluctant to trade with these guys, although I've been dying to get my hands on some metal, and we have lots of useless junk lying around, so I was th-



    Fucking- no, I'm not going to burst. I'm going to be calm and collected, like a normal dwarf. At least they still have some things, I'm going to have to wait and see once they're ready to trade their wares with us. The craft making process has been put-off and put-off for menial tasks like hauling or being "on break" by my lazy workers. Now they'll realize the consequences of their actions.

    Litast Dedukngotol, 24th of Timber, Late-Fall, 251

    The King's filthy "liaison", if you'd like to call him that, has been following me around for about a week asking me to conform some sort of document. I'm telling him time and time again that I'm busy, and that when I'm free at mealtime, I will discuss it with him. This trading fiasco is only getting worse, my broker lazy-ass Kumil(yep, he's a broker now) has picked the worst of times to sleep, they could leave at any moment. Oh well, we are still hauling our goods to the depot, looks like this could carry into Wintertime. Now ends another migrant filled chronicle of the rebellion, more eventful than the last one at that. May the Winter bring good things to Treatywhispers.

    Litast

    ---

    The final report of mine shall be up tomorrow, get ready, VistaPOWA.
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  2. Post #42
    Everything You Do is a Balloon
    Secone's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,355 Posts
    If it's not too late, I'd love to get in on this. Thanks.

    EDIT: Provided the fort even lasts 13+ years that is
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  3. Post #43
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    If it's not too late, I'd love to get in on this. Thanks.

    EDIT: Provided the fort even lasts 13+ years that is
    It's not too late you're in.

    Also change of plans, can't do the Winter report tonight, going to a concert. Will be up Saturday mornin.
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  4. Post #44
    Everything You Do is a Balloon
    Secone's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,355 Posts
    It's not too late you're in.

    Also change of plans, can't do the Winter report tonight, going to a concert. Will be up Saturday mornin.
    Sweet, thanks!
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  5. Post #45
    I am in mother fucker.

    Message me when it's my turn please.
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  6. Post #46

    August 2011
    1,915 Posts
    A note to future expedition leaders and/or mayors:

    "Please ensure that siege prevention systems such as bridges and traps are fully functional before the siege, lest you force this Fortress to suffer a similar far to that of Armordiamonds"
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  7. Post #47
    Terminutter's Avatar
    June 2010
    4,073 Posts
    A note to future expedition leaders and/or mayors:

    "Please ensure that siege prevention systems such as bridges and traps are fully functional before the siege, lest you force this Fortress to suffer a similar far to that of Armordiamonds"
    But where's the fun in that!?

    Edited:

    Seriously, next you'll be advising us to ensure that kids aren't left in the caverns.
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  8. Post #48
    Pokey McFork's Avatar
    September 2009
    881 Posts
    Can I get stuck in the list too?

    I can't wait to abuse the laws of physics for fun and profit.
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  9. Post #49
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,375 Posts
    Where is the repoooooort?
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  10. Post #50
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    Where is the repoooooort?
    In time, workin on it now.

    Edited:

    Winter Report

    Litast Dedukngotol, 3rd of Moonstone, Early-Winter, 251

    The state of current things can best be described in two words. Lazy....and anti-progressive. No trading's being done, as soon at the broker got up he went on break, and I'm still too busy to have a talk about finalizing these damn trade documents with the liaison. At least all the items for trading are in the depot now, I'm bushed from hauling. I guess I'll sit down and talk with the King's marionette we call an outpost liaison.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 9th of Moonstone, Early-Winter, 251



    The bump-on-a-log broker Kumil has been on break for a little more for the week, and I think that those merchants are leaving soon. If they leave because this broker can't get off his lazy ass and do his work as we were taught as children, I'm going to throw him and this diary into a fucking giant cave spider's web.

    Litast Dedukngotol, 11th of Moonstone, Early-Winter, 251

    I'm glad I didn't have to throw my diary of reports out, I've worked for quite a while on this thing, and we got some nice booze and plump helmets, and even some metal bars to calm me down.

    Litast Dedukngotol, 20th of Moonstone, Early-Winter, 251

    That bastard liaison and the merchants from Mountainhome finally left. Good riddance.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 27th of Moonstone, Early-Winter, 251

    It pains me to say this, I've started a foundation for an....an above ground castle. I'm going to turn it into a phyllite jungle, if you will. But first, let's get rid of anything hospitable to outside life so we don't have rat shit all over the place in the new fort. I'm trying to keep it minimal though, I only want the statue gardens and archery ranges, along with defense towers up here. I have ideas for a moat, too.

    Litast Dedukngotol, 6th of Opal, Mid-Winter, 251

    Half the place is frozen, and half isn't. I almost got fucking hypothermia walking from one side of this place to the other because the temperature change is different. At least we're not in some glacier area where even your alcohol freezes up. Poor souls in Breadwreath on that glacier near the Northern Arctic Ocean never stood a chance on that glacier back in 225.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 25th of Opal, Mid-Winter, 251

    Merry Dwarfmas! I think I'm actually happy today, because we got more tables in the dining room, and booze to go with it.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 5th of Obsidian, Late-Winter, 252

    In the spirit of Dwarfmas, I made a decision to start a morgue of sorts for all the dwarves that will be dead by next Dwarfmas. It didn't put a damper on anyone's mood, they understood what I said and got right to it. Although that's what I like to see, it's really not much to be happy about.



    In other news, behold! 5 masterwork bone bolts, by our very own Rovod Melbilkeng, the craftsdwarf. I'll put those in my office till those forest hippies come, we can sell them cloth and ammo.



    Litast Dedukngotol, 13th of Obsidian, Late-Winter, 252

    I'm finally setting to work at the layout of the walls for our fort, but the damn trees keep getting in the way. The hole at the bottom shall be for a drawbridge with a moat or something. It'll be fully elf and creepy tree proof if need be. In time those rains won't bother us, either.




    Litast Dedukngotol, 20th of Obsidian, Late-Winter, 252

    A thief got in today, but he didn't get very far before cowering/running away in fear from our ferocious peacocks and kittens. Also the place is unfrozen, and all the snow was gone. I was starting to accustom to it.




    Litast Dedukngotol, 29th of Obsidian, Late-Winter, 252

    Our morgue is done with the digging, now we just need to haul in all the coffins and things from the refuse stockpile down here. Now, the year is over and it is now time for me to step down from the expedition leader position. It's been fun, but now I must become just a miner, I wish the next overseer luck on his or her endeavors. Remember, the King is not your friend and we are working to stop him and get off this island. Take any chance that you may have to assassinate him, just not in front of everyone.

    Litast (this is the last page.)

    ---

    I've emailed the region file to VistaPOWA, it's time for a new reporter!
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  11. Post #51

    August 2011
    1,915 Posts
    VistaPOWA, get your dorfy gloves on, you're up.
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  12. Post #52
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,375 Posts
    Spring report will be up tomorrow.
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  13. Post #53
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    I think you're forgetting the arrival report.
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  14. Post #54
    CaioLugia's Avatar
    April 2012
    1,183 Posts
    That fortress Is completely deformed In comparison to my macro-micro, hypersimmetrical design style.
    Still, I rarely read stories and shit but, Chow, your writing caught me.

    But... That fortress...
    Let's see what will happen until my turn.
    Good luck, Powa!
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  15. Post #55
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,375 Posts
    I was really busy today, arrival report and spring report will be up tomorrow. Sorry 'bout that.
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  16. Post #56
    Gold Member
    Zinayzen's Avatar
    May 2009
    10,998 Posts
    last time i played this, i accidentally left a dwarf child in a dark cavern for ten years

    he came out a legendary wrestler and bit the wings off a FB
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  17. Post #57
    If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
    Liem's Avatar
    November 2011
    5,205 Posts
    last time i played this, i accidentally left a dwarf child in a dark cavern for ten years

    he came out a legendary wrestler and bit the wings off a FB
    And he emerged from the darkness, a new man, A new being. Not a dwarf, no, much more than that, he was a super dwarf
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  18. Post #58
    CaioLugia's Avatar
    April 2012
    1,183 Posts
    last time i played this, i accidentally left a dwarf child in a dark cavern for ten years

    he came out a legendary wrestler and bit the wings off a FB
    Holy shit, someone 'gotta write a tale for this legendary dwarf.
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  19. Post #59
    Kljunas's Avatar
    August 2011
    1,476 Posts
    last time i played this, i accidentally left a dwarf child in a dark cavern for ten years

    he came out a legendary wrestler and bit the wings off a FB
    Sure. Accidentally.
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  20. Post #60
    Gold Member
    Zinayzen's Avatar
    May 2009
    10,998 Posts
    Sure. Accidentally.
    i was experimenting with a strategy to get super tough dwarf children. basically you drop them into a 1x1 cage with dogs in it. the dogs scratch the kid but they're too weak to kill it so the kid just develops hardcore defenses.

    problem is i forgot to build the cage first so he fell into a cavern, which I quickly sealed off so the mom wouldn't go crazy. but then i forgot.

    apparently he survived by beating rats to death and eating them. go figure.

    Edited:

    And he emerged from the darkness, a new man, A new being. Not a dwarf, no, much more than that, he was a super dwarf
    reminds me of my favorite df story ever

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  21. Post #61
    Gold Member
    VistaPOWA's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,375 Posts
    Apparently Dwarf Fortress uses my GPU too, and any game that I am trying to run dies within 10-30 minutes into the gameplay. So yeah, it keeps black screening, I have to pass on my turn.

    Edited:

    When I figure out how to run DF in software mode, I'll ask to be put back in the list then.

    Edited:

    Wait, can I play DF on Linux?
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  22. Post #62
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    492 Posts
    Apparently Dwarf Fortress uses my GPU too, and any game that I am trying to run dies within 10-30 minutes into the gameplay. So yeah, it keeps black screening, I have to pass on my turn.

    Edited:

    When I figure out how to run DF in software mode, I'll ask to be put back in the list then.

    Edited:

    Wait, can I play DF on Linux?
    :0 why did you not try and run df before it was your turn :S
    It does appear to be possible for it to run on linux http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.p...1:Installation
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  23. Post #63
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    Apparently Dwarf Fortress uses my GPU too, and any game that I am trying to run dies within 10-30 minutes into the gameplay. So yeah, it keeps black screening, I have to pass on my turn.

    Edited:

    When I figure out how to run DF in software mode, I'll ask to be put back in the list then.

    Edited:

    Wait, can I play DF on Linux?
    Yes, DF runs on Linux. You're up, hobo. Let me PM you the files.
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  24. Post #64
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    492 Posts
    Ok I will do arrival report this afternoon, possibly spring report if I have time
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  25. Post #65
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    492 Posts
    The surprising adventures of me, Hobothehero:
    21st of Obsidian, Late-Winter, 252.

    The medical dwarf stood in front of me, flipping through the notes on his clipboard without looking up. The neatly trimmed hair on his face was made visible by a single torch which cast a dull, flickering light on the room. He was wearing a pig-tail fibre lab coat and crystal-glass spectacles, all craftsdwarfship was of the highest quality.
    "I'm afraid the only possible diagnosis I could make in your case Mr. uhh Hobo is that you suffer from a severe case of split personality disorder" His voice was devoid of any emotion or true compassion.
    "You don't understand, I'm not crazy! It was someone else who just happened to look like me killing all those nobles." It didn't make any sense, one moment I was in my bed having a nice ale and the next these white coated dwarves were telling me how i had slaughtered over 20 nobledwarves.
    "I am going to make a recommendation to the king that your alcohol supply be halved and you should be either restrained or otherwise isolated for the safety of others". At the mention of the king I twitched. My mind slowly began to fade. I could feel something, some pressure or force, invading my mind and everything turned to confusion and chaos. In the space of an instant that seemed to stretch for an age the chaos disappeared and was replaced with one clear thought: Kill

    1st of Granite, Spring, 252
    My memory of the events of the last few days are foggy at best. My memory regains clarity when I woke up surrounded by unfamiliar, downtrodden dwarven faces. They all seemed to be looking expectantly at me when one stepped forward.
    "So Mr. Overseer sir, what do we do now?"
    After about an hour of reeling from shock and confusion I gathered myself and asked a few questions of those Dwarves that weren't busy with menial tasks in this shithole I had wound up in. Apparently they had been exiled by our mutual friend the king(at the mention of his name I felt the pressure again, but it was weaker this time) and sent to this island in the middle of no-where to die. For some reason they had gotten it in to their heads that I was their new overseer, when I asked them why they thought this they just smiled at me as if I were making a bad joke. I suppose having split personality disorder can have it's perks.
    I order the dwarves milling around me to continue the orders of the previous overseer and get me something to drink. They immediately rush off in several directions to do god-knows what.

    For better or for worse this ragtag bunch of idiots are ready to follow my every command. I have a strange feeling that we are all going to die.
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  26. Post #66
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    492 Posts
    7th Granite, Early Spring, 252
    I have spent the last week roaming around the fort and trying to orient myself and I still have no Armok-Damned clue what the hell these dwarves where thinking. Other than basic navigation there were some other things I thought were odd but I'm slowly fixing those up.

    I asked a dwarf if the manager of the place had any standing orders to see if maybe I could continue the work of the previous overseer but he just looked back at me dumbfounded and went back to mining at the speed of light. Apparently this place has no manager so I appointed the nearest dwarf I could see as the new manager.

    The busiest workshop in the entire place was the masons workshop:

    I have that same uneasy feeling that this might actually be necessary.
    These dwarves apparently don't have any economic sense either as all the craftsdwarfs shops were empty. Lesson number one for buying the world: Make ridiculous amounts of useless shit.

    I asked the resident hunter to try his hand at shooting down some of the bloody ravens that make so much damned noise but apparently he decided it would be better to take a nap first. I'm trying to actually do a good job at overseeing this place so we won't all die on this island but it seems all the dwarves here are lazy bastards.

    Oh and it has started raining too, this place just gets better and better doesn't it.

    28thGranite, Early Spring, 252

    Right where was I. Oh yes of course the “hunter”. His idea of hunting the squawking birds seems to be running around in a circle whilst waving his crossbow in the air.

    I've had an order for a table waiting since I got here so our manager can get set up in a room and it still isn't done. It seems as though the main carpenter also has around a thousand other jobs to do so I reduced his workload a bit so things would get done.

    So many things need to be done but there are barely any dwarves in this place. Hardly like the mountain home where you might have to get a job done once every year, this place requires non-stop work.

    16th Slate, Mid Spring, 252
    After having told the miners to dig deeper they quickly returned to me with reports of an expansive underground cavern:

    I told them we should hold off on the digging for a bit, I'm not really an expert on subterranean exploration but I'm fairly sure those dark caverns won't be full of bunnies.
    21st Slate, Midspring, 252
    It's happened again, at least I think it has... There can't really be any other explanation. Whilst examining the recent mining efforts I heard a muffled scream. Rushing down a corridor in the direction of the scream I found a dead end. The dead end was quickly turned in to a long corridor however as a miners face appeared through the previously solid wall. The miner winked and said
    “Everything is set up for you sir, it didn't go exactly to plan, I mean he didn't fall down the hole but he did get hit by things travelling very fast that were dropped down the hole.”
    “Who?!” I exclaimed, distraught.
    “Oh sorry I forgot. No one at all sir, the expedition leader is definitely not down that hallway with a lump of microcline pinning his leg to the floor.” The clearly insane dwarf was smiling as if everything he had just said was a hilarious game we were playing.

    I hurried down the corridor and found the unconscious body of Litast on the floor, his right leg completely mangled by microcline. I looked up and saw a massive hole in the ground leading all the way up to the surface, some sort of death pit. I hurriedly equipped our hospital with a bed and assigned our only slightly skilled medical dwarf to be chief medical dwarf in the hope they might be able to do something to help him.

    My insane alter-ego clearly has plans of his own for this fort.

    25th Slate, Midspring, 252

    Oh shit.

    We don't have a military and this thing is knocking on our door. I didn't think our deaths would come so soon. I just gotta hope to Armok that this thing will turn back in to whatever it was before it turned in to a “Weregila”.

    Anyone with any military skill whatsoever is going in to and emergency cannonfodder squad.
    The squad arrives nervously in to position around the death pit, perhaps it will be useful and the monster will fall in to it and die. Please let it be that easy.

    They wait for the monster to approach.

    And wait.

    It's gone. It just, disappeared. Was it ever there in the first place? Have I really gone that insane?
    The makeshift squad eye me nervously as I assure them there was a giant half man half gila just behind those trees over there. I need to get a hold of myself.

    27th Slate, Midspring, 252

    Seems like the local craftsdwarf has finally produced something of value.




    9th Felsite, Latespring, 252
    Our carpenter finally decided to make a table and a chest for the manager I appointed two months ago. This will make large orders of specific items much more painless, one less thing for me to do.

    15th Felsite, Latespring, 252

    The sight of a caravan bolstered my spirits, until I realised it was being lead by elves. They have probably brought some sticks and berries but we will trade with them regardless, hopefully they have something of use. I order the useless trinkets Id has been making as well as some cut gems to be hauled to the depot, hopefully their shininess will distract the elves from the sub-par craftsdwarfship.

    Oh and of course our broker friend chooses this time to take his break.

    (Thats it for the spring report, I was really scared when they werebeast came lol. Also sorry dogchow for letting the dwarf you were roleplaying as get hurt, I didn't actually do it on purpose I just thought I would include it in to the story)
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  27. Post #67
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    That was pretty good, made me laugh a few times. And no worries on Litast getting injured, it actually gave me a thought of her yelling at one of the dwarves or Moldath "What....THE FUCK?"
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  28. Post #68

    August 2011
    1,915 Posts
    I would suggest getting some defenses up, in my experience weremonsters like to return to sites every full moon
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  29. Post #69
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    492 Posts
    1st Hematite, Early Summer, 252
    I've decided to try and start a metalworking industry in this place, what good is a fort without good cold hard metal to bash things skulls in with as they say.

    Unfortunately the miners haven't discovered any bituminous coal so we will have to make do with burning our wood supplies for the moment. Perhaps the elves sticks will prove useful after all, once the brokerdwarf gets off her lazy ass of course.

    4th Hematite, Early Summer, 252

    I have ordered work on the walls started by the previous rule to continue, unfortunately we only have a handful of masons so the progress is slow. If it is completed however it could come in handy if that Weregila returns (which many old, ominous sounding dwarves assure me is inevitable).

    While we are pumping out a steady supply of phyllite blocks for the process the actual construction is becoming tedious.

    I saw the broker again to ask her why she wasn't at the depot yet and she explained that she had an incredibly busy schedule for today which consisted mainly of “Drink obscene amounts of alcohol”. I might just join her, maybe then I won't be so worried about dying on this island-shaped hell.

    6th Hematite, Early Summer, 252

    Our broker finally got round to trading and cut as quite a nice deal. The elves gobbled up our authentic dwarven merchandise and we only had to part with a few of our gems. In return we got a nice variety of some half-decent alcohol, assorted foodstuffs, a couple of rope reed fiber cloths, a dingo and a giant grasshopper.
    Yes. A giant, motherfucking grasshopper.

    The elves assure me it is a peaceful creature and cannot be trained for war. I take this to mean that it cannot be trained because it doesn't need to be. Come at me Weregila. No time to celebrate however, I have more work to do.

    9th Hematite, Early Summer, 252

    A dwarf I've never seen before in my life sidled up to me when I was reviewing the food production of the fortress.
    “I did exactly as you said sir, nobody has seen Rovod for a week so operation successful then right sir?”
    Oh god not again. When I asked him where Rovod actually was the dwarf responded in a conspiratorial tone:
    “Testing me are you sir? Don't worry, I won't say a word”
    Great now I'm hiding things from myself and the dwarf was right, nobody has any clue where Rovod has gotten too.

    10th Hematite, Early Summer, 252
    Out of morbid curiosity I checked the tunnel where I found Litast unconscious and Lo and behold there was nothing but a smooth wall, I ordered the area to be cleared immediately.
    (Yeah I thought that I had made a path for the two dwarves down there to get out but apparently I hadn't, they are both dead)
    (Oh just found out I had actually ordered a wall to built in the way because I thought that section wouldn't be used after I failed to make the first pit of despair so that's what my problem was... oops)


    20th Hematite, Early Summer, 252

    Our hunter might not be the best at taking down annoying birds but by Armok he is fearless. He casually informed me that he had seen a Black Bear and immediately fired an arrow and killed it in a voice that sounded as though he was telling me it was still raining outside. Black bear stew anyone?
    Not to be outdone our other, slightly less skilled, hunter took down a cougar. Their skills with a crossbow make me feel slightly safer, from wild animals at least.

    16th Malachite, Mid-Summer, 252

    Excellent. If these dwarves aren't useful enough for my liking I think I will force them in to the military.
    Lets see a miner, more bloody fisherman (we only have about 20 already), some metalworkers, a medical dwarf and a few others. Well they aren't all useless so I will have to source the militia from elsewhere.
    Our gem cutter is beginning to cut gems of masterful beauty as well, they will fetch a good price when caravans arrive.

    8th Galena, Late Summer, 252
    I've assigned a dwarf who assures me he is an expert bookkeeper (Though when I tested him by asking him what a book was he only made shifty eyes and once again assured me he was perfect for the job) to keep track of our supplies and make things a bit easier on me.

    11th Galena, Late Summer, 252

    I've enlisted some dwarves in to the military, they are a ragtag bunch but they all have some skill with weapons apparently. Just so long as I don't hear reports of training accidents I will be happy.

    16th Galena, Late Summer, 252

    I can't be imagining this one, a dwarf scrambled up to me babbling about a giant squirrel with fuchsia eyes. At first I was confused as to why the colour of its eyes was brought up at all and then I became panicked and then I slipped in to calm and made various orders.

    A fisherdwarf was immediately set upon and bit in various places in rapid succession. He is still alive but losing blood fast. After the squirrel finished goring the fisherdwarf it immediately transformed in to a cave fish man and began to make a break through the trees. You couldn't make this shit up.

    Immediately after this incident the manager is taken by a fey mood. The days events have been passing so quickly and are so absurd I'm beginning to wonder if maybe this entire fort is just a figment of my imagination.

    He claims a craftsdwarf's workshop and the fisherdwarf is immediately diagnosed and treated. He is pretty messed up but he will live.
    24th Galena, Late Summer, 252



    “Clenchedhazy” the gauntlet. I just don't get artists I suppose. I think I will give this one to our hunter, seeing as he did kill the bear that forms it's menacing spikes.

    (Ok that's summer done with. Unfortunately I'm going to be very busy until next wednesday with an intense assignment I have to do. So I don't know what you guys want to do, you can wait for me or if you think that is too long I will be fine with handing it on, I have had lots of fun so far. If you do wait then maybe people could write diary entries like from syrupleaf or something to fill in the gap. Whatever you guys think)
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  30. Post #70
    Pokey McFork's Avatar
    September 2009
    881 Posts
    Giant grasshoppers are kinda useless for combat, actually.

    Compared to other giant creatures, that is.
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  31. Post #71
    TO SOME- THING
    Steven :D's Avatar
    September 2009
    2,974 Posts
    I'm surprised there aren't any boatmurder, dwarf-killing elephants yet.
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  32. Post #72

    August 2011
    1,915 Posts
    Isolate that fisherdwarf in a burrow and lock the door NOW. I've had a turned were monster kill half of my fortress before I realized it. Your militia will need metal armor to deflect the wretched squirrel's evil blows. Or perhaps lock him in with the giant grosshopper for FUN. Just some advice by no means do you need to follow it.
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  33. Post #73
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    (Ok that's summer done with. Unfortunately I'm going to be very busy until next wednesday with an intense assignment I have to do. So I don't know what you guys want to do, you can wait for me or if you think that is too long I will be fine with handing it on, I have had lots of fun so far. If you do wait then maybe people could write diary entries like from syrupleaf or something to fill in the gap. Whatever you guys think)
    I'll wait, the 10 day rule can make exceptions if something pops up, but if it was late in the turn I'd probably ask to hand it on to person11. But it's mid turn now, so I'll trust you to make a new report when everything is said and done. Good job and good luck on the assignment by the way.

    Edited:

    But if you don't think you'll be able to complete the reports after this, I'll be happy to finish off your turn with little reports being made (I make a few reports, rest of diary gets waterlogged with stagnant water or something)
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  34. Post #74
    Gold Member
    Zinayzen's Avatar
    May 2009
    10,998 Posts
    Does anyone remember the name of SA's succession? That was the greatest story ever. Gemsomething.
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  35. Post #75
    TO SOME- THING
    Steven :D's Avatar
    September 2009
    2,974 Posts
    Does anyone remember the name of SA's succession? That was the greatest story ever. Gemsomething.
    You mean Boatmurdered?
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  36. Post #76
    Terminutter's Avatar
    June 2010
    4,073 Posts
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  37. Post #77
    Gold Member
    Zinayzen's Avatar
    May 2009
    10,998 Posts
    Gemclod's my favorite. The reactions to the final battle were amazing.

    Boatmurdered is what got me to start playing.

    A series of unfortunate events is what made me stop. :(
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  38. Post #78
    OBLIVIOUS
    hobothehero's Avatar
    September 2011
    492 Posts
    Giant grasshoppers are kinda useless for combat, actually.

    Compared to other giant creatures, that is.
    Yeah I kind of figured, but my dwarf doesn't know that.

    Ok sorry about the wait I'll try and get it done asap
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  39. Post #79
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    October 2010
    2,532 Posts
    Gemclod's my favorite. The reactions to the final battle were amazing.

    Boatmurdered is what got me to start playing.

    A series of unfortunate events is what made me stop. :(
    Wanna elaborate? We gotta keep this thread going till next Wednesday.
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  40. Post #80
    Gold Member
    Zinayzen's Avatar
    May 2009
    10,998 Posts
    Wanna elaborate? We gotta keep this thread going till next Wednesday.
    It all kind of started downhill with my accidental rapedorf (i.e. my legendary wrestler/cave dweller.) I'll elaborate more at home, I'm at work. It involves a forgotten beast, a goblin stronghold, and one very unlucky trade caravan. Also a mouse.

    Edited:

    this all happened a really long time ago, so i'll probably get details wrong

    so basically once i found out this dwarf existed (henceforth known as "rapedorf" for reasons that will become unfortunately apparent), I tried to integrate him back into my society. He had no skills except wrestling and trapping. Unfortunately he'd been underground for so long that any time I brought him into direct sunlight (i had several courtyards near my entrance. it was all very pretty.) he'd go into a rage and kill whatever was near. (not sure if this still happens, but it used to.)

    so i had to keep him underground. he never did anything useful, although he did kill some underground jerks that would have killed my entire fort otherwise, so i liked having him around. he was like my cavern batman.

    Edited:

    so i built him a small house like 30 z levels down and a mushroom farm and ran a water channel down there that split into a pool and irrigated the farm, so he had food and drinking water. he learned to swim, too. which unfortunately was bad for me later. very bad.

    anyway, he pretty much kept to himself. killed the occasional ogre or troll or whatever. tried to teach him crafting so he could make his own treasures, but he never learned. he did stack the bones of his victims near his bed, though. which was...uh. troubling.

    so anyway, one day this legendary beast comes along from the surface. flying lizard, breathed like molten silk or something dumb. fucks up my entire courtyard, and my military. my military was almost all hammerdorfs, my archers were busy in my blood arena (i'll explain later). so the fb destroyed my courtyards, destroyed my military, and got into the fort where it basically killed everything. everything.

    Edited:

    So basically everything is dying. Unfortunately I'd decided to go with unconventional defenses. Which worked perfectly.

    On ground units.

    Edited:

    So my archers go try to kill the fb and get mauled. They did break its feet so it couldn't smack people though. Then my mayor, a tame elephant (that's another long story) goes to confront it, fights for a half hour, and dies.

    So now it's Rapedorf and a wounded FB in my fort. That's it. Urist Rapey has no idea this is happening, though, so I imagine he's fairly surprised when a giant fb with a ripped wing and broken feet tumble through onto his property.

    Long story short, he bit a wing off and beat the FB to death with it, all while only suffering a chipped tooth and broken toe. God I loved that guy.

    That's not the end of the story but I'll tell it later. Later that spring he killed an entire goblin raid with his bare hands. Then tragically...

    You'll see.
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