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Post #41
Well at least it didn't try to crawl in her mouth instead.
Oh fuck what if it did? Imagine that thing crawling down your throat.
Fuck that never sleeping again.
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Well, I'm never sleeping again.
I knew I shouldn't have clicked this damn thread.
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oh fuck why
I'm just glad it's a jumping spider. If it were one of those long, skinny-legged spiders, I'd be scared to death.
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Don't be silly, if the spider crawled into your mouth your body would automatically chew it up while you slept.
Everyone eats quite a few spiders in their sleep every year
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TARGET THAT FLY AT GRID 011011.
jumping spiders can dance too:
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I'm not afraid. One, because I'm not afraid of spiders. And two, because the spiders that get into my room are too big to fit in my ear.
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My ear tickles now
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Spider-bro was just cold and misunderstood...
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NOTHING IS CUTE IN MY EAR
nothing
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Except a penis...
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Yup.
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Well it is Funion.
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Yeah man, always wanted a great Dane sized funnel web spider.
Or maybe not.
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I would think that most living organisms seek to avoid something that will obviously kill them.
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I sleep with earplugs every night. Those babies are officially doing double duty from this point forward.
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Fucking NOPE!
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I got into bed one night and a few minutes later I felt something on the top of my foot. Sometimes I'll get a random itch or tickling sensation on my body that lasts a second or two so I ignored it. About a minute later, I felt it again. I knew something was going on and I got out of bed, turned the lights on, flipped my covers over and saw a wolf spider just hanging out. I grabbed my air duster, turned it upside down and blasted it with piss so liquid froze him in a matter of seconds. I thought that would make you guys feel better about sleeping tonight.
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My dick was getting fondled by a spider once.
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If clothing didn't exist and everyone walked around with their penises fully erect I would have all the bitches.
May 2009
18,440 Posts
They call them black widows because they kill their husbands just to be with my dick.
Edited:
Ok that joke was unpleasant
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It was a tarantula. How the flying fuck can there be a wild one in this town?
Brrr...
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That's almost as bad as Botfly larva...
guh..
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At least it didn't lay eggs inside of her.
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I swear I've seen a .gif of that where the spider had a top-hat and a walking stick.
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why did the spider think it was a good place to hide
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If clothing didn't exist and everyone walked around with their penises fully erect I would have all the bitches.
May 2009
18,440 Posts
It probably didn't even know it was an ear. It just wanted a tight warm hole to stick himself into.
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I live in a cellar room, there are very often spiders in here.
I don't kill them either, maybe they leave me alone because I'm friendly?
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Poor little guy. I hope she took it with humour.
I mean look at his eyes... LOOK AT HIM!
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oh god what if she cleaned her ear with a cotton bud spider guts everywhere!
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Undergo a metamorphosis into the human spider
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don't worry guys, jumping spiders can't see the colour red. if you're really that paranoid, just get a red-tinted lightbulb and it'll be disorientated long enough for you to notice it and throw it outside.
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Actually that's a urban myth, you'll probably never eat a spider unwillingly during your life time as your mouth emits a lot of warmth and moisture and they avoid it at all costs, spiders aren't just that stupid to walk into a place where they'll get eaten. The reason this spider went into the woman's ear was probably to find a "cold" place in comparison with the temperature outside.
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The Union Jack would look a shit ton better with a Hammer and Sickle in the middle of it
November 2007
6,742 Posts
SPIDER BURROWING IN EAR
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
im so glad i live in the uk
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my ears are itchy now
spiders plz escape from ear canal
please
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Dude that's where all the spiders live.
nope
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Actually one of my friends was telling me they're found worldwide, and judging by the "Diversity" image on the corresponding wikipedia page, you're going to have a hard time trying to avoid them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_spider
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My heart broke when it looked down.
I'm arachnophobic but goddamn I want that one as a pet.
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Oh god it knows when the camera is zooming in and out.
It's adapting to our technology.
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The Union Jack would look a shit ton better with a Hammer and Sickle in the middle of it
November 2007
6,742 Posts
then i will make the uk the first place to be rid of them
one flamethrower at a time
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jumping spiders are incredibly smart for a creature with a brain three times smaller than a pea. they pretty much play Assassin's Creed with other spiders, plucking the larger spider's web to imitate a trapped insect, then striking when they only expect a trapped bug. they're also capable of learning from experience, as they'll never try to approach prey the same way they have before if the previous approach didn't work.
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you people that say jumping spiders are cute and want to pet them.
are you fucking kidding me jesus fuck.
Agree x 2
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Winner x 10
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Informative x 1
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