1. Post #1
    Gold Member
    Nick Lomax's Avatar
    August 2006
    957 Posts




    First of all... Just look at this awesome Coat of Arms... It has a fucking axe and some creature in it.

    If you look away from the fact that we have an awesome Coat of Arms.. There is only one word needed to explain why Norway/Norwegians are so cool.

    VIKINGS!


    Thread music! Viking metal. It's actually about a Scottish mercenary, George Sinclair, who was killed along with many of his men in Norway in 1612.(Battle of Kringen) He was hired by the Swede king to fight against the Danes during the Kalmar War. Sinclair basically got owned while making his way through Norway to get to Sweden. He got owned by Norwegian badass militia and peasants.

    The fact that we are vikings pretty much tells you why we are cool. Vikings are basically like pirates, just cooler and more gruesome. They pillaged and raped.(fuck yeah) They conquered many worlds and in fact they discovered America before Columbus. The vikings mainly did their stuff from late 8th to the early 11th century. This age is actually called "The Viking Age". Vikings are so awesome that they even have their own era.

    Typical viking. Badass like hell. Just look at him.



    During the Viking age, we traveled to many places far away. As far as to Newfoundland and to Constantinople. All this we did in our awesome Long Boats. They have awesome dragon heads and other fictional creatures on the front. The boats basically look like sea monsters.

    Look at this mother fucking boat.



    You might have read that Vikings weren't only Norwegians, but also Swedes and Danes, but that's basically a lie. All vikings were Norwegians, and then they later moved on to become Swedes and Danes. The viking capitol was Norway. Some vikings also moved over to Iceland, so you might say that Icelanders are also as cool as Norwegians, because they have kept most of the old viking language. So they can share the throne of awesomeness with Norway, but we all know that Iceland is broke, so they aren't really that awesome. To be honest, Norway is a good proof that Sweden and Denmark are not as cool as us. (We still love you Danes, but we are more awesome) Norway has been under both Denmark and Sweden in the past, and we shared kings etc etc. These times were bad... We have been our own country since 1905, and since then we have become richer and richer and more awesome. We were also really awesome before the Swedes and Danes stole us. So there is a pattern. When we were vikings and nobody owned us, we were awesome. When the Danes and Swedes had us, we were not really that cool, because they had to much influence on us. But in 1905 when we got our own king and nobody owned us again, we became much more awesome and cool.

    So... "Swede and Dane-age" = BAD. "Viking and post 1905 age"=Awesome (minus 1940-1945 when we were occupied by the Nazis and the Swedes were "neutral" again like in WWI.)



    Norway is one of, if not, the richest country in the world compared by size and population. We have also been topping the UN's Human Development list for years, lately we have shared the top with Iceland, but I doubt they will be on top next year. The list is basically "Best country for a human to live in". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Development_Index






    Take a look at this guys. There is not much to say about this than just pure awesomeness. Nils Olav




    Our main exports consists of mainly oil, fish and black metal.

    Biggest oil platform in Norway, and also largest man made structure ever moved.


    Arctic cod. On of the most attractive sushi fishes in Japan. Those Japs can't get enough of it.

    (That's over sized. Not normal size. Viking size.)

    Black Metal. We have a lot of black metal bands here, and they are well known internationally amongst the black metal enthusiasts.

    Satyricon. Norwegian BM band.


    Some music from them.



    The only downside about Norway (for tourists) are the prices. Oslo (our capitol) has recently been said to be most expensive city in the world. http://www.ubs.com/1/e/media_overvie...?newsId=170250 For us Norwegians it ain't so bad because we are rich anyways. Our paychecks are phat. Shit jobs like working in a grocery store can give you about 3100 dollars a month on average if you work 5-6 days a week. Maybe more at some stores. The average pay in one year here in Norway is between 55k and 60k dollars.



    If this doesn't convince you that we are awesome, then look at the awesome inventions we made!

    Here you have the awesome cheese slicer! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheese_slicer
    It's never been easier to cut cheese!


    We also invented the spray can! AWESUM! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spray_can


    And we also basically invented the ski.


    Here's some soft finishing thread music by Edvard Grieg, Norwegian composer.

    We also have beautiful nature! And we are known for our fjords. The word fjord is even Norwegian.







    Before you go ahead and rate me dumb or disagree, NOTE THE IRONY AND SARCASM !

    >>PARODY THREAD!<< Sorry mods. It had to be done. I am tired of these kinds of threads now.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events Funny x 60Dumb x 37Informative x 7Disagree x 6Agree x 6Friendly x 4Winner x 3Optimistic x 2 (list)

  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    Boba_Fett's Avatar
    August 2007
    9,194 Posts
    Nice parody thread. You get a funny.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events Agree Agree x 7 (list)

  3. Post #3
    Vikings didn't actually have horns on the helmets!, did you know that!?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 18Informative Informative x 4 (list)

  4. Post #4
    kankershow's Avatar
    March 2009
    42 Posts
    Vikings didn't actually have horns on the helmets!, did you know that?!
    Except if you're a SPACE VIKING

    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Netherlands Show Events Funny Funny x 39Agree Agree x 4 (list)

  5. Post #5
    Except if you're a SPACE VIKING

    Ah damn.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 5 (list)

  6. Post #6
    My dog is a Norwegian Elk Hound, he's so cool.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Show Events Agree Agree x 4 (list)

  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Beafman's Avatar
    May 2006
    1,340 Posts
    We danes owned Norway for 500 years and we were vikings before you!

    We can go to war on who was vikings first :P
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 12Dumb Dumb x 7Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  8. Post #8
    WarmanLaptop's Avatar
    August 2009
    86 Posts
    English, Danish and Swedish people are better.

    And that space viking, fuck that shit, the Danish fucking MADE the lego, so, screw that.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 11Dumb Dumb x 3 (list)

  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Patjo_sweden's Avatar
    November 2005
    1,992 Posts
    Why did you use Satyricon as an example of awesome Norwegian Black metal? They suck!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Sweden Show Events Agree Agree x 10Disagree Disagree x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  10. Post #10
    Commando123's Avatar
    August 2009
    552 Posts
    Norway is amazing. Would love to live there.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events Agree Agree x 2 (list)

  11. Post #11
    hamp's Avatar
    September 2005
    87 Posts
    The fact that a thread was needed to describe the so-called awesomeness of Norway just shows how not-awesome it is.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Sweden Show Events Dumb Dumb x 5Funny Funny x 1Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    Carne's Avatar
    December 2007
    8,309 Posts
    It's pretty awesome here. And we discovered AMERICA!
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events Agree Agree x 11Disagree Disagree x 10 (list)

  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    Nick Lomax's Avatar
    August 2006
    957 Posts
    Why did you use Satyricon as an example of awesome Norwegian Black metal? They suck!
    Because they are probably the only BM band that in Norway that some common Norwegian guy would be able to recognize the name of. (A common guy who does not listen to black metal or any metal for that matter)
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  14. Post #14
    Retardation's Avatar
    July 2009
    2,316 Posts
    Chernobyl is still cooler. :colbert:
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Israel Show Events Agree Agree x 7 (list)

  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    SaWAH's Avatar
    January 2008
    1,277 Posts
    We danes owned Norway for 500 years and we were vikings before you!

    We can go to war on who was vikings first :P
    I was just going to say this.

    Danes > Norwegians when it comes to vikingness.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Denmark Show Events Agree Agree x 8Disagree Disagree x 5Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  16. Post #16
    Gold Member
    Nick Lomax's Avatar
    August 2006
    957 Posts
    The fact that a thread was needed to describe the so-called awesomeness of Norway just shows how not-awesome it is.
    The fact that you don't get that this is a parody thread earns you a dumb rating.

    http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=800974
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    sami-pso's Avatar
    June 2006
    4,759 Posts
    I hope OP is not norwegian as he doesn't even know the "creature" is a lion.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Netherlands Show Events Friendly Friendly x 1Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  18. Post #18
    hamp's Avatar
    September 2005
    87 Posts
    The fact that you don't get that this is a parody thread earns you a dumb rating.

    http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=800974
    Well, it means that I don't browse these forums anymore, not that I'm dumb.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Sweden Show Events

  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Nick Lomax's Avatar
    August 2006
    957 Posts
    Ok? Did i say Arabs are vikings?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  20. Post #20
    Gold Member
    jjsullivan's Avatar
    December 2008
    3,536 Posts


    How's that awesome? It looks rather generic
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events

  21. Post #21
    Victor Leferve's Avatar
    March 2009
    990 Posts
    I might have some Viking blood in me somewhere. I come from the North-East of England, so theres a chance?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    Carne's Avatar
    December 2007
    8,309 Posts
    Well, English people were vikings aswell, if i'm not completely wrong.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  23. Post #23
    Gold Member
    Parakon's Avatar
    November 2008
    8,520 Posts
    There might've been some cool bearded dudes living where you are now a long ass time ago, but right now it's just you behind a computer screen like the rest of us, and that isn't cool.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Canada Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  24. Post #24
    Gold Member
    Oscar Lima Echo's Avatar
    December 2006
    3,240 Posts


    How's that awesome? It looks rather generic
    It's a lion with a VIKING AXE and something that RESEMBLES A MOUSTACHE, how is that generic?



    Norway has become such a wuss contry lately.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    Jessey's Avatar
    October 2008
    3,279 Posts
    Too fucking bad England stole the whole viking fleet then you all got owned, how the hell do you manage your fleet getting stolen. :cawg:
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Netherlands Show Events Disagree Disagree x 5Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    Droogie's Avatar
    July 2007
    2,083 Posts
    Some vikings also moved over to Iceland, so you might say that Icelanders are also as cool as Norwegians, because they have kept most of the old viking language. So they can share the throne of awesomeness with Norway, but we all know that Iceland is broke, so they aren't really that awesome.
    Us being broke is a return to normality really.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Iceland Show Events

  27. Post #27
    BuddieBBB's Avatar
    March 2007
    861 Posts
    We danes owned Norway for 500 years and we were vikings before you!

    We can go to war on who was vikings first :P
    We Swedes fucking ruled half of europe back in the days


    EDIT

    What the hell am I saying, I meant scandinavia.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Sweden Show Events Dumb Dumb x 5Agree Agree x 1Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  28. Post #28
    Gold Member
    Jessey's Avatar
    October 2008
    3,279 Posts
    We Swedes fucking ruled half of europe back in the days
    Guess what, you never had history lessons, now have a box, use it to pack in your stuff and get the hell out of here.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Netherlands Show Events Agree Agree x 3 (list)

  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    noctune9's Avatar
    April 2008
    1,515 Posts
    Did you know cities in England ending with "-by" was founded by Vikings?

    Now you do.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Denmark Show Events Bad Spelling Bad Spelling x 1 (list)

  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    sami-pso's Avatar
    June 2006
    4,759 Posts
    It's a lion with a VIKING AXE and something that RESEMBLES A MOUSTACHE, how is that generic?



    Norway has become such a wuss contry lately.
    Well it IS somewhat generic. Many european coats of arms had either lions or eagles on them. The axe is something rather special though. Even Ukraine has a lion on it :P

    anyhow this is what a coat of arms is supposed to look like:
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...way_(1924).svg
    But obviously it's made out of gold and shit.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Netherlands Show Events

  31. Post #31
    Victor Leferve's Avatar
    March 2009
    990 Posts
    Did you know cities in England which end with "-by" was founded by Vikings?

    Now you do.
    I live near a place called Whitby.

    I must have Viking blood in my ancestry.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events

  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    sami-pso's Avatar
    June 2006
    4,759 Posts
    We Swedes fucking ruled half of europe back in the days
    ehh half the world? More like almost nothing.


    Edit: oh wait they came way earlier..xD
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Netherlands Show Events Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    May 2007
    2,686 Posts
    If the German thread would bring up some bands for example.

    I'd like i alot more. A slight touch of humor would do it good.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  34. Post #34
    Gold Member
    Nick Lomax's Avatar
    August 2006
    957 Posts
    Well, English people were vikings aswell, if i'm not completely wrong.
    The Vikings moved there. So they became English people.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  35. Post #35
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    May 2007
    2,686 Posts
    Because they are probably the only BM band that in Norway that some common Norwegian guy would be able to recognize the name of. (A common guy who does not listen to black metal or any metal for that matter)
    Dimmu borgir my good man.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  36. Post #36
    I Memo's Avatar
    December 2008
    165 Posts
    Vikings didn't actually have horns on the helmets!, did you know that!?
    They wore helmets with horns on for special occasions
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events

  37. Post #37
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    May 2007
    2,686 Posts
    My last name has heavy Viking influence in it.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Norway Show Events

  38. Post #38
    Slig army's Avatar
    July 2005
    1,287 Posts
    I was about to say something witty, but when I saw the cheese slicer I was like



    because cheese slicers are fucking incredible.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United States Show Events Agree Agree x 3Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  39. Post #39
    Victor Leferve's Avatar
    March 2009
    990 Posts
    The Vikings moved there. So they became English people.
    They mixed with the anglo-saxons also.

    But killed most of them, haha.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete United Kingdom Show Events

  40. Post #40
    Glod Menber
    Maximum Mod's Avatar
    June 2008
    4,518 Posts
    I still think sweden is more badass.
    I mean, look at this. Media tagged due to size.
    Its the "Swedish greater coat of arms".
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f7/Sweden_greater_coat_of_arms.jpgBut the crest looks like this: http://www.stalvik.com/images/Vapen/vapen_sverige.jpg
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Sweden Show Events Disagree Disagree x 2Agree Agree x 2Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)