1. Post #1
    intercontinental mexican sausage filler
    frankie penis's Avatar
    October 2009
    2,594 Posts
    Heres the story, a few days ago I found out my friend was an airfix fanatic and he persuaded me to try making one. This was a very bad idea but I went along with it anyway. I went and got some little airplane kit for about 5 from my local hobby store and bought it home. I was quite excited to try and finally make something that looks good for once in my life. I was wrong.

    I get home, open the box and everythings there. Polystyrene glue thing, the parts, instructions and some green paints. I first take a look at the instructions. It was just one picture of the parts and arrows of where they should go. I first set up my desk and put a sheet of tissue down just incase i spill glue, then I gently take out the pieces to make the left wing. Then I put the parts together just to make sure they fit, which they did. Everything was going good so far until I came to the gluing stage. I took off the cap, aimed at where I needed to glue and squeezed very gently on the tube. Fuck. Glue came out everywhere and basically covered the whole side of the wing part. I thought fuck it anyways, since it was the inside of the wing and nobody would see it.

    Next I attached it to the piece it was supposed to go to, but due to the immense amount of glue on the part, it all came out the edges when the 2 pieces were stuck together. I had to hold it for about 10 minutes before it would actually fucking stick. At this point I was seriously regretting buying the kit, but it was only 5 so I thought fuck it. The glue in the kit is total shit, 1 little squeeze and it ejaculates glue like a horny old man who hasn't jacked off for about 3 years. One thing I forgot to mention is that when taking pieces out the tray thing, it snaps off and leaves this little mark of where it has been snapped. I think you are supposed to file it off or something but I couldn't be arsed since there was no file in the kit. Moving on through the building process, I decided to make the right wing while the left was drying. Same mishap with the glue, goes all over my fingers and all over the parts. Amazingly it actually dries in less than a minute on my fingers, but on the actual pieces it takes about 5-10 minutes.

    Few hours later I had managed to attach the wings/body/tail/etc together. Looking at it, the plane looked totally horrific. There were crispy glue flakes from where the tube exploded everywhere and gaps from where the glue didnt even stick parts together properly. I only had a few more pieces to attach so I thought I might as well finish it. I managed to improvise with the glue. Instead of squeezing it, I just held it up till it dribbled out which still wasn't perfect, but better than the explosions I had before. I finally came to attach the cockpit window. The glue & transparent plastic do not mix well. I tried as best as I could to keep the glue on the edges of the part, but it still managed to go everywhere. When the glue eventually dried on the window, it looked like shit. The window was all frosted with glue on the inside and there was no way of removing it. What else annoyed me was the amazingly small parts that went on the bottom of the plane. There was this little truss that went on the bottom and was meant to hold the bomb. I carefully tried to push it out of the tray and it snaps. So I thought fuck it, no bombs. Eventually I finally finish it and let it dry for the night.

    The next day I apply half an undercoat of dark green to the plane. The paint is total fucking shit. After managing to get paint all over my desk while trying to take the lid off it, I realise some of it is very watery and some is like jelly. I put the lid back on, give it a shake for about 5 minutes and then take the lid off again, splashing paint everywhere again in the process. The paint is still the same. Yet again I think fuck it and just start painting anyway. As I said before, the paint was very watery. I start painting one section of the wing and bam, the paint runs everywhere. I eventually gave up on the plane 5 minutes later and left the thing to dry for a while. I come back later and the plane looks like shit.

    I finally decide on what to do with the plane and throw it out the window. One thing I can say to Airfix is that the larger pieces of plastic are actually pretty strong, since only one of the propellors broke off the first time after hitting solid concrete. After about 3-4 throws, I am much happier with the result. Next time I'm just gonna stick to lego. No paint, no mess, more fun.

    The end result:


    tl;dr questions:

    Is airfix fun?
    No.

    Is it cheap?
    Yes, explains why it's so shit.

    Is the glue toxic and can I give it to my child in hope that it will eat some and die?
    YES!

    How many hours of fun can you have with it
    0

    Should I get airfix models?
    Yes, it's fun for the whole family. Best used when you have a family of 4 or more, you can even leave your toddlers alone with the glue as it is perfectly safe.


    I respect that some people may like building airfix models. I do not have a problem with that, I am just an impatient fuck that likes breaking things. The models actually look pretty good if you can build them right.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Funny x 35Dumb x 4Agree x 3Artistic x 1Informative x 1 (list)

  2. Post #2
    Brian Williams's Avatar
    November 2009
    863 Posts
    lol
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United States Show Events Agree Agree x 11Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    BISCUIT_TINS's Avatar
    June 2007
    1,473 Posts
    OP sucks.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 9Disagree Disagree x 6 (list)

  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    Maxx's Avatar
    December 2006
    372 Posts
    Didn't the box say you had to be at least 12 for this?
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Moldova, Republic of Show Events Funny Funny x 21Bad Reading Bad Reading x 2 (list)

  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    Tovleman's Avatar
    January 2009
    2,350 Posts
    It's supposed to be a crash. You build it right!

    Rate me hearts.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Denmark Show Events Friendly Friendly x 21Funny Funny x 2Bad Spelling Bad Spelling x 2Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  6. Post #6
    intercontinental mexican sausage filler
    frankie penis's Avatar
    October 2009
    2,594 Posts
    Didn't the box say you had to be at least 12 for this?
    yes but i had parental supervision from my mom so it's ok
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 24 (list)

  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Madman_Andre's Avatar
    November 2007
    7,239 Posts
    Heres the story, a few days ago I found out my friend was an airfix fanatic and he persuaded me to try making one. This was a very bad idea but I went along with it anyway. I went and got some little airplane kit for about 5 from my local hobby store and bought it home. I was quite excited to try and finally make something that looks good for once in my life. I was wrong.

    I get home, open the box and everythings there. Polystyrene glue thing, the parts, instructions and some green paints. I first take a look at the instructions. It was just one picture of the parts and arrows of where they should go. I first set up my desk and put a sheet of tissue down just incase i spill glue, then I gently take out the pieces to make the left wing. Then I put the parts together just to make sure they fit, which they did. Everything was going good so far until I came to the gluing stage. I took off the cap, aimed at where I needed to glue and squeezed very gently on the tube. Fuck. Glue came out everywhere and basically covered the whole side of the wing part. I thought fuck it anyways, since it was the inside of the wing and nobody would see it.

    Next I attached it to the piece it was supposed to go to, but due to the immense amount of glue on the part, it all came out the edges when the 2 pieces were stuck together. I had to hold it for about 10 minutes before it would actually fucking stick. At this point I was seriously regretting buying the kit, but it was only 5 so I thought fuck it. The glue in the kit is total shit, 1 little squeeze and it ejaculates glue like a horny old man who hasn't jacked off for about 3 years. One thing I forgot to mention is that when taking pieces out the tray thing, it snaps off and leaves this little mark of where it has been snapped. I think you are supposed to file it off or something but I couldn't be arsed since there was no file in the kit. Moving on through the building process, I decided to make the right wing while the left was drying. Same mishap with the glue, goes all over my fingers and all over the parts. Amazingly it actually dries in less than a minute on my fingers, but on the actual pieces it takes about 5-10 minutes.

    Few hours later I had managed to attach the wings/body/tail/etc together. Looking at it, the plane looked totally horrific. There were crispy glue flakes from where the tube exploded everywhere and gaps from where the glue didnt even stick parts together properly. I only had a few more pieces to attach so I thought I might as well finish it. I managed to improvise with the glue. Instead of squeezing it, I just held it up till it dribbled out which still wasn't perfect, but better than the explosions I had before. I finally came to attach the cockpit window. The glue & transparent plastic do not mix well. I tried as best as I could to keep the glue on the edges of the part, but it still managed to go everywhere. When the glue eventually dried on the window, it looked like shit. The window was all frosted with glue on the inside and there was no way of removing it. What else annoyed me was the amazingly small parts that went on the bottom of the plane. There was this little truss that went on the bottom and was meant to hold the bomb. I carefully tried to push it out of the tray and it snaps. So I thought fuck it, no bombs. Eventually I finally finish it and let it dry for the night.

    The next day I apply half an undercoat of dark green to the plane. The paint is total fucking shit. After managing to get paint all over my desk while trying to take the lid off it, I realise some of it is very watery and some is like jelly. I put the lid back on, give it a shake for about 5 minutes and then take the lid off again, splashing paint everywhere again in the process. The paint is still the same. Yet again I think fuck it and just start painting anyway. As I said before, the paint was very watery. I start painting one section of the wing and bam, the paint runs everywhere. I eventually gave up on the plane 5 minutes later and left the thing to dry for a while. I come back later and the plane looks like shit.

    I finally decide on what to do with the plane and throw it out the window. One thing I can say to Airfix is that the larger pieces of plastic are actually pretty strong, since only one of the propellors broke off the first time after hitting solid concrete. After about 3-4 throws, I am much happier with the result. Next time I'm just gonna stick to lego. No paint, no mess, more fun.

    The end result:


    tl;dr questions:

    Is airfix fun?
    No.

    Is it cheap?
    Yes, explains why it's so shit.

    Is the glue toxic and can I give it to my child in hope that it will eat some and die?
    YES!

    How many hours of fun can you have with it
    0

    Should I get airfix models?
    Yes, it's fun for the whole family. Best used when you have a family of 4 or more, you can even leave your toddlers alone with the glue as it is perfectly safe.


    I respect that some people may like building airfix models. I do not have a problem with that, I am just an impatient fuck that likes breaking things. The models actually look pretty good if you can build them right.
    You'd have fun with Tabletop Warhammer 40K.

    A GM I know has his own rule he's dubbed "Space Marine Katamari:" If you lack the skill to properly paint and assemble the models, you can lump all the little parts together with about a half-gallon of modeling glue, paint it one solid color, and it will still be usable for play.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United States Show Events Dumb Dumb x 3Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Vince323's Avatar
    July 2007
    1,062 Posts
    you sound like you would have a really hard time building plastic kits of robots, they can get really intricate with inner moving parts and stuff


    the japanese can make some nice robots, but then again, who doesn't?

  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    markg06's Avatar
    September 2006
    11,053 Posts
    I hate you, you've ruined a model of a really good plane. Clearly you didn't have the patience to make an airfix model so no idea why you bothered in the first place.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Dumb Dumb x 1Agree Agree x 1Optimistic Optimistic x 1 (list)

  10. Post #10
    intercontinental mexican sausage filler
    frankie penis's Avatar
    October 2009
    2,594 Posts
    I hate you, you've ruined a model of a really good plane. Clearly you didn't have the patience to make an airfix model so no idea why you bothered in the first place.
    :jerkbag:
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 4 (list)

  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    Crazy_Farmer's Avatar
    April 2005
    2,364 Posts
    You'd have fun with Tabletop Warhammer 40K.

    A GM I know has his own rule he's dubbed "Space Marine Katamari:" If you lack the skill to properly paint and assemble the models, you can lump all the little parts together with about a half-gallon of modeling glue, paint it one solid color, and it will still be usable for play.
    thanks for quoting the OP, I was too retarded to figure out that you were addressing your message to it by myself
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply Canada Show Events Agree Agree x 2Dumb Dumb x 1 (list)

  12. Post #12
    claythepro's Avatar
    October 2009
    1,255 Posts
    I want one!

  13. Post #13
    intercontinental mexican sausage filler
    frankie penis's Avatar
    October 2009
    2,594 Posts
    I want one!
    any large hobby supplier near you should have them. they are dirt cheap.

  14. Post #14

    October 2009
    197 Posts
    should have used semen instead of glue.. idiot

  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    ubertaco's Avatar
    April 2008
    1,618 Posts
    Can I buy this off of you?
    Looks like God made it.
    its art
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United States Show Events Friendly Friendly x 4 (list)

  16. Post #16
    intercontinental mexican sausage filler
    frankie penis's Avatar
    October 2009
    2,594 Posts
    should have used semen instead of glue.. idiot
    but i can't produce it yet
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 4 (list)

  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    ChestyMcGee's Avatar
    August 2008
    25,864 Posts
    I remember Airfix. I miss the sweet sweet smell of plastic glue.

    Wait that sounds bad.

    Edited:

    Airfix does indeed suck though. There's a reason they're cheaper than the rest of the model companies and that's because none of the parts fit together properly, the plastic is shit and thin and paint doesn't apply properly to it.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    smurfy's Avatar
    October 2007
    22,058 Posts
    I watched the episode of James May's Toy Stories about airfix. Haven't heard of it before or since until now.

    That show was kind of weird. They went around asking kids why they didn't like old stuff that their parents liked and then the kids were like "because it's fucking boring grandpa" and they made fun of the kids and said "LOOK AT THESE IDIOTS! THEY DON'T KNOW REAL FUN BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO BUSY HAVING FUN WITH THEIR COMPUTER GAMES DAMN IT"
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Funny Funny x 1 (list)

  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    MachiniOs's Avatar
    September 2008
    12,543 Posts
    Looks like you got high on the glue, there's your problem.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Agree Agree x 1 (list)

  20. Post #20
    -AJ-'s Avatar
    December 2007
    1,205 Posts
    Can't stop laughing, good story. I suppose model plane building isn't for everyone, just takes time and patience. Out of interest, what was the finished product supposed to be?

  21. Post #21
    intercontinental mexican sausage filler
    frankie penis's Avatar
    October 2009
    2,594 Posts
    Can't stop laughing, good story. I suppose model plane building isn't for everyone, just takes time and patience. Out of interest, what was the finished product supposed to be?


    JU-87B german plane or something.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Informative Informative x 1 (list)

  22. Post #22
    WERGWERGWERGWERGWERG
    dcalde78's Avatar
    September 2008
    22,015 Posts
    Is airfix fun?

    Is it cheap?

    Is the glue toxic and can I give it to my child in hope that it will eat some and die?

    How many hours of fun can you have with it

    Should I get airfix models?
    Yes.

    Depends on the size of the model

    Well yeah, it's polycement

    Many

    Yes.
    Reply With Quote Edit / Delete Reply United Kingdom Show Events Disagree Disagree x 1 (list)

  23. Post #23
    I paid $5 and all I got was this shitty title
    Hendo's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,478 Posts
    lol

  24. Post #24
    WhatTheKlent's Avatar
    December 2008
    802 Posts
    Can't stop laughing, good story. I suppose model plane building isn't for everyone, just takes time and patience. Out of interest, what was the finished product supposed to be?
    A Dinosaur.

  25. Post #25
    Gold Member

    July 2005
    3,180 Posts
    I build models during the summer at my summer house because there's no Internet. I built an Mi-24 Hind. The rotor fucked up bad I couldn't get it together so I took it and made it look like it sat in a field for 25 years (Pripyat heli's ftw). A few months later I cut it up and made it look like it crashed in battle.

  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    RichardCQ's Avatar
    June 2006
    1,942 Posts


    JU-87B german plane or something.
    I think he did a better job depicting that plane than in the actual picture. It looks horrible.