1. Post #1
    Dennab
    January 2010
    1,024 Posts
    Yeah. I did that today. I was really anxious to masturbate but my dogs were in my room. Note that they are constantly licking me and my family.

    My dogs:



    I couldn't resist fapping on the spot, because I was already set up. Door locked, tissues and lotion by my side, and some good hentai planned to fap to. So I did. I whipped the famous wonder-weasel out of my underwear, but there was a problem. My dogs had never seen it, so they immediately went to inspect it as soon as I took it out.

    First they started sniffing it, then they tried to lick it, and then I was seriously considering opening the door and kicking them out, even though it would ruin my set-up fapping experience. So here's what I did.

    I locked my dogs in my closet, but then they were constantly scratching the door, so I had to let them out of my closet. I was really annoyed then, really annoyed. I finally decided to let them out of my room, and start over, but again, there was a problem. I had never put the raging weasel back into my pants.

    So there I stood, with the door open in shock, my pants and underwear pulled down, and my dogs jumping up to lick my penis. But I haven't told you why I was in such shock. My parents were just at the top platform on my stairs, staring at my suddenly sad and droopy penis. So I did the only thing I could do: Run back into my room and pretend that didn't just happen. But there was ANOTHER problem. My parents were now knocking extremely hard at my door, and my dogs were STILL IN MY ROOM. So, I did the next best thing: Hide in my closet.

    My closet:



    My bedroom door:



    My parents continued to knock on my door, and after about (I'm guessing 5-10 minutes) passed, I came out of my closet, but didn't have the real courage to come out of my room.

    And that's the end of my story, because I'm still cowering in my room. However, I'll try to make updates. I hope you enjoyed amusing yourself to that hell I had to go through, you sick bastard.


    Update 1: Oh goddamnit, my parents are knocking again.

    Update 2: Well, I just opened the door. My parents aren't in sight, but I think they're in their bedroom, and I think they're talking. I don't know if I should eavesdrop, what if they open the door?

    Update 3: Okay guys, I'm back. With my door open, my parents unexpectedly came in. As many people suggested, I told them that I was just getting dressed and I forgot that my dogs were under my bed. They were completely convinced my dogs were licking me off. I tried to convince them otherwise, but they just wouldn't listen. They kept telling me that it's very strange to do that and I shouldn't. They talked and talked for a long time, lecturing me, and when I protested, they got more and more annoying and insulting. They started calling me weird, then they called me completely disgusting, and now, I'm known as "the most disgusting child ever". Then they went back into their room and slept.

    So, here I am, at 3:00 in the morning, with my parents thinking I'm a sick little fucking child. Shit.

    Update 4: My parents are completely ignoring me and throwing really nasty looks now. Maybe I can just wait and maybe they'll forget about the whole thing. If not, my real best and last resort would be to show them this thread, as hard as it will be.

    UPDATE 5: I'M REPETITIVE AND OH MY GOD I FUCKED MY DOG :byodood:
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  2. Post #2
    Wet Birds
    Levithan's Avatar
    September 2005
    7,953 Posts
    Parents dude.

    Gotta get rid of them know what I'm saying.
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  3. Post #3
    RusMar's Avatar
    June 2007
    572 Posts
    Just say you were changing and the dogs were bothering you. Your parents will probably believe that.

    They've seen your dick before man, they are your parents.
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    Billiam's Avatar
    July 2008
    7,687 Posts
    So there I stood, with the door open in shock, my pants and underwear pulled down, and my dogs jumping up to lick my penis.
    You sick fuck...
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    Enishi's Avatar
    June 2005
    5,073 Posts
    some good hentai planned to fap to.
    you are pathetic
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  6. Post #6
    goatse
    Craptasket's Avatar
    January 2006
    32,057 Posts
    I remember there being a thread like this some years back
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  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Stupideye's Avatar
    October 2006
    12,424 Posts








    thats not his tongue
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  8. Post #8

    February 2010
    3,109 Posts
    I don't believe you are refusing a free blowjob

    a double one.
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  9. Post #9
    TrenchFoot's Avatar
    May 2010
    235 Posts
    That fucking story is good dude, haters gonna hate
    "and my dogs jumping up to lick my penis."
    Pulitzer material imvho
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  10. Post #10
    Dennab
    January 2010
    1,024 Posts
    I don't believe you are refusing a free blowjob

    a double one.
    You expect me to get sandwiched by my dogs?...

    I like the way you think.

    EDIT: Wait a minute, what the fuck?

    EDIT: I just noticed what we both just said, and what the fuck 2x. Whatever, we're both sick fucks, you fuck.
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    hl2poo's Avatar
    November 2005
    4,422 Posts
    Cum all over the floor in front of the door so if your parents walk in, they slip and fall. If they die, it was a success, they won't catch you masturbating ever again.
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  12. Post #12
    I like the news
    Dennab
    July 2009
    3,373 Posts
    my question is... what were you jerking it too?
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    Stupideye's Avatar
    October 2006
    12,424 Posts
    my question is... what were you jerking it too?
    and some good hentai planned to fap to
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  14. Post #14
    I like the news
    Dennab
    July 2009
    3,373 Posts
    oh, when he said "planned" i thought he meant he was going to, but he did fapped to something else.
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  15. Post #15
    metromod.net
    _Chewgum's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,216 Posts
    tell em the dogs tried to rape you
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  16. Post #16
    Aedan1's Avatar
    February 2010
    833 Posts
    I lol'd hard at the part where you got caught.
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  17. Post #17
    Dennab
    January 2010
    1,024 Posts
    my question is... what were you jerking it too?
    If you must know, this: http://www.fakku.net/viewmanga.php?id=1451
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  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    t-man's Avatar
    August 2006
    1,537 Posts
    at least you came out of the closet :smugdog:
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  19. Post #19
    TrenchFoot's Avatar
    May 2010
    235 Posts
    *click*
    ...
    freak


    Edit: The comments on that shit are hilariously terrifying.
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  20. Post #20
    metromod.net
    _Chewgum's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,216 Posts
    it's even similar to your situation
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  21. Post #21
    Dennab
    January 2010
    1,024 Posts
    it's even similar to your situation
    I disagree, but okay.

  22. Post #22
    Shdowofthepain's Avatar
    January 2005
    103 Posts
    my question is... what were you jerking it too?
    Try reading the first post.
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  23. Post #23
    Dennab
    January 2010
    1,024 Posts
    Oh goddamnit, my parents are knocking again.
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  24. Post #24
    Handsome Pete's Avatar
    August 2009
    2,068 Posts
    I lol'd hard, OP. When you come out of the closet in your room, say that you have it out just for the occasion, and that's it's a project to see how they react to such an unusual situation.
    It's a stretch, but your only hope.

    Besides saying "Yeah, I was fappin'"
    I don't believe you are refusing a free blowjob

    a double one.
    That's fucked up.
    Maybe this guy got this dog as a little kid and he's a part of his fondest childhood memories. And you want it to lick his nuts and dick? If you do that you're one sick fuck IMO.
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  25. Post #25
    TrenchFoot's Avatar
    May 2010
    235 Posts
    I literally just shifted to the edge of my seat.
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  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    playelite's Avatar
    April 2008
    1,990 Posts
    Just say you were changing and the dogs started to do that.
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  27. Post #27
    So Amazing
    Heroms's Avatar
    December 2006
    1,779 Posts
    I think your parents are probably worried as to why the dogs were in your room while you had your penis out.
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  28. Post #28
    TrenchFoot's Avatar
    May 2010
    235 Posts
    Imagine a world where you could masturbate anywhere you wanted to.
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  29. Post #29
    :smug:'s Avatar
    August 2009
    3,013 Posts
    I call troll thread.
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  30. Post #30
    Handsome Pete's Avatar
    August 2009
    2,068 Posts
    I call troll thread.
    I can see how, but I doubt.
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  31. Post #31
    Shoupie's Avatar
    November 2009
    2,697 Posts
    OP, if you're not trolling, I think you should just tell your parents exactly what happened. Chances are, they'll believe it. I'm sure they don't want to consider the other alternative of what was taking place between you and your dogs.
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  32. Post #32
    Murdoco's Avatar
    October 2009
    12,667 Posts
    Tell them you were getting dressed and your dogs got in your room somehow.

  33. Post #33
    Touhou's Avatar
    August 2009
    864 Posts
    this made my day
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  34. Post #34

    April 2010
    56 Posts
    I get the feeling you had a dog on hairy orgy.

  35. Post #35
    Dennab
    January 2010
    1,024 Posts
    Well, I just opened the door. My parents aren't in sight, but I think they're in their bedroom, and I think they're talking. I don't know if I should eavesdrop, what if they open the door?
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  36. Post #36
    Gold Member
    Leaf Runner's Avatar
    February 2009
    4,264 Posts
    some good hentai planned to fap to.
    Stopped reading there.
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  37. Post #37
    Touhou's Avatar
    August 2009
    864 Posts
    Stopped reading there.
    says the guy with the elfen lied avatar
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  38. Post #38
    You're fucked.
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  39. Post #39
    B1N4RY!'s Avatar
    September 2009
    15,255 Posts
    Don't masturbate in front of your dog, stick it in instead
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  40. Post #40
    TrenchFoot's Avatar
    May 2010
    235 Posts
    Well, I just opened the door. My parents aren't in sight, but I think they're in their bedroom, and I think they're talking. I don't know if I should eavesdrop, what if they open the door?
    Just make sure you have your cock in your hand.
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