1. Post #121
    Gold Member
    jetboy's Avatar
    January 2009
    2,266 Posts
    Sent one.
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  2. Post #122
    Gold Member
    Hezzy's Avatar
    January 2005
    8,021 Posts
    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I believe my mother may have touched me when I was 11.

    I was scared, so I slept in her room that night. I dreamed about... Well, hot naked woman giving me handjobs. I woke up and realized I had a wet dream.

    I try not to think about it much and tell myself that the two events are unrelated and purely coincidental, but I always end up thinking about it every so often.
    So you're uncertain about it. Compare the two - wet dreams (which are a frequent occurrence for kids) and your mother jacking you off in your sleep. Which seems more plausible?!

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I like the smell of my own ball sweat, is this bad?
    Probably

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    You and I know the Nazis were assholes, killing innocent people because of their religion, burning, raping, war.

    But...I kinda have a Nazi Fetish, either for cute little Blond guys in German Uniforms or imagining myself as a Nazi Officer about to dominate a man/woman.

    Other than that I like the weapons, Uniforms, music, Military.

    For the record I don't hate Jewish people or any other race or creed. I just like this stuff because it was stylish, and yes it includes the Swastika.

    I deeply feel guilty about this Fetish, but if I was about to have sex with a man/woman and she/he was ok with this, I'd Roleplay as a Nazi Officer about to rape a Russian Peasant.


    So that's it then.
    That is quite a specific fetish

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I was at my best friend's house one time. We were hanging out all day and it got pretty late, so I decided I was going to crash at his place. His mom was on the chesterfield in the living room, so I slept on his floor. I had a sleeping bag and a pillow, it was pretty damn comfortable. We talked for a bit, and couldn't get to sleep, so we got a bunch of food and ate for about an hour straight. It was fucking glorious. I was on the verge of falling asleep, when he got out of his bed and lied down next to me. I felt a little weird, because we're both guys, but I shrugged it off. Later, he grabbed my dick and started to stroke it, I began to feel really uncomfortable, but it felt so good. I wasn't sure of what to do. Eventually he put some lube all over my dick and I was fucking him in the ass. I was dead tired and confused as fuck. I came and rolled over to fall asleep. I am straight. We haven't talked about it since.
    Again, I can't really think of anything witty to say to this. Can you guys think of anything?

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    So about 3 weeks ago, I was messing around with this new website I found. It sends multiple messages to whoever you want via text message. So I decided to fuck with some girl I liked. So I sent her 30 messages saying “YOU’RE A SLUT” and since I had her sister’s number I decided to send 10 messages saying “LOOK AT YOUR SISTER’S PHONE”. It was lulzy, none the less. She complained on her Facebook that some guy was “hacking her phone with perverted messages.” I laughed, and then went on with my normal routine. About a week later, this faggot who went to my school asked out my friend’s girlfriend, even though he knew that he was with her. So I decided to use the website to fuck with him. He had no idea what my number was, so I decided to send him one message before I unveil a barrage of 50 messages. I sent him “Don’t fuck with (friend’s name).” And I sent the messages. About 3 hours later, the girl who I spammed the week before sent me a message saying “Why do you think I’m a slut?” I was awestricken. How could she have known it was me?! Then I realized. The faggot just so happened to be a childhood friend of the girl I liked and he asked if she knew the person who sent the messages to him. (Remember that I sent if a message via MY phone before I sent all the messages via the website.) And so I decided to tell a lie. I sent “I never said that. What are you talking about?” And then she forwarded the conversation of her and Dr. Faggot to me. I then started thinking about what I should do next. But then she sent me another message saying “It was flattering <3.” I seriously fell off of my chair I was sitting on. I then sent her a message saying “Wow I didn’t really mean for it to be flattering I was just playing a joke on you.” About 30 seconds later she replied “Well that’s a shame; I fingered myself to the image of myself being a slut.” Now I was freaking out. The ONE time I could get a chance with this girl and turns out to be an actual slut. Now she won’t talk to me, what do, Hezzy?
    That's crazy. Why won't she talk to you? Pics man!!

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I don't know how else to organize this so I'll use numbers

    1.I got a BB gun when I was 11
    2. I was told to be really careful.
    3.I shot a bird
    4.I cared for the bird for about 3 days
    5.I skinned the bird alive for about 20 minutes
    6. I chucked it in the neighbors yard
    7.The neighbor's kid got grounded for a long time.
    8.I was really really unbelievably proud
    Psychopath in the making

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I got a mentally retarded gay ginger kid fucked up. It isn`t as hardcore / sexist as some other confessions, but read on. I never really talked with anyone deeply about this. Excuse me for the kind of horrid grammar.

    Back when I was 8 years old or so I went to a local sportclub. I got along pretty well, I sucked at the sport but everything went alright. But after a year or so this ( Kind of ) lightly mentally retarded ginger ( He could function quite normal ) joined the club. Everyone hated him but I kind of felt bad for him. He asked me to go out and play once and I tought it was alright. I must say, this kid was a hardcore Christian and worked at the local church as altar boy or some shit, but nevermind, I`ll go further on this later. My cousins wich were about 7 years older than me taught me all kinds of nasty shit, kind of boosting my masculinity but making me a a kind of horrible person for the rest of my life. So when this ginger kid came over we played games like GTA and stuff ( I was like 9/10 years old and didn`t realise this was bad for a retard )

    My sexism, taught by my cousines also spread into his little fucking brain. When I was like 11 he didn`t had any friends anymore and he called me once a week or so. Had sleepovers and shit. My sexism only got worse because I just hit puberty. The ginger kid was kind of violent now and also sexistic. Few examples, we had a sleepover with the sportclub and he went fully naked in a room with girls when he had to change clothes. When I was 12 I had a sleepover with all my friends. Also he developed a lip for muslims / non Christians. We watched those sex commercials around midnight and I remember this retarded kid saying `` OOH FUCKING SEXY `` when 65+ sex came up. He got kind of anoying. 13th, I hit high school, I couldn`t just dump this fucker so I tried keeping him secret. Worse of all, he was pubering too ( Lightly retarded, having an unclean mouth, it was a fucking hell for his parents ) also he appeared to be gay. At my 14th poeple started having well, critic at the friendship and I marked the ginger as a heap as lies. Also he got fucking anoying because he ringed me all the time, I went fucking crazy, almost traumatizing. So... I tried to dump him with help from my father. Also I was scared that he was gay with me We made some sort of row about religion or some shit.

    About 1/2 year ago, at birthday this dude from my class came over to me. A bit drunk decided to tell me a story That nobody wanted to tell to me because it would make me feel bad ( Everyone knew the ginger kind of traumatized me ) We talked a bit and then this retard ginger kid came into the conservation. It seems like his younger borther ( From the dude I was talking too ) was in his class in primary school or something like that. They had this O-shaped circle thing where everyone tells stories about their weekend and shit. Nobody wanted to talk except the retarded ginger kid. And this motherfucker told his class.

    `` I had a sleepover with my best friend XXXX, we had loads of fun and we had a wet dream together. ``

    You can cut this out if you find it racist, but from that day I developed a natural traumatizing dislike for gingers.
    Haha wow

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    Ok, so a while ago, i was on a temporary, unpaid work placement at a supermarket in the UK called Iceland.
    One day i was tasked with resealing boxes of frozen goods on the shop floor using special sticker seals, since alot of customers take no care when browsing the freezers, boxes get damaged but the stuff inside, providing it is wrapped in vaccumed plastic, is legally able to be resold.
    Anyway, one day i was feeling a bit disgruntled as i wasnt allowed to take my lunch break for another hour, and since i wasnt getting paid anyway i was getting creative in my revenge.
    I opened a Meat Feast, and a Cheese pizza, pulled the plastic wrapped frozen deliciousness out of the box, switched them over, resealed and carried on working.

    I made a good effort to continue working around the freezer for the next 30 minutes, so i could laugh to myself as a customer picked up the "Cheese" pizza and placed it into their shopping trolley.

    I only wish i could have seen their face when they got home and had meat covering their food.
    Hahaha I can imagine you just going "That'll show the bitch!"

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I was invited to a party one night, being single at the time I agreed to go if only just for the social interaction and free booze that would be flowing all night.

    I change into some baggy jeans and somewhat smart looking silk shirt and head over to the store with some friends. I wasn't asked for ID and left with 10 packs of Heiniken.

    When my friends and I arrived the party was already full packed with guys and girls dancing, drinking and having a great time. Naturally i'm shy but I casually (if you even can) walked past an overly horny teenager attempting to ram his hand up some girls skirt. God if he wasn't drunk, it was a paper bag moment.

    While I was filling my glass I saw her. She had blonde hair and mesmerizing deep blue eyes that I couldn't stop staring at. Her beautiful tan glistened in the beating disco ball lights. I stared at her feet and slowly drifted my eyes up her legs, lingering for a few seconds at her thighs. I imagined myself between them and soon had to leave the room and hide my raging manhood. I forced myself to calm down went back to the beer keg, looking round in search of her. I'd lost her! Frantically I asked around, how desperate did I sound, searching for a chick I didn't even know the name of!

    From this point on I drank myself away, beer, more beer, more and more. I came here to party and planned to do so.

    As I was wandering around the house, I glanced up the stairs and saw her again, I wasn't letting her go this time oh no. In my half drunk state I manned up and spoke to her. After a while of small talk I invited her into one of the upper rooms to talk in a quieter atmosphere. Her name was Sophie, oh Sophie what I would do to you. We sat on the edge of a rather ruffled looking bed, I knew it was now or never. I scooted closer and wrapped my arm around her. What? No attempts to stop me? Yes!! Haha, I'm in I thought.

    She placed her left hand on my neck, so lightly it was like heaven. She began to work it slowly down, running her silk like fingers across my skin and down my chest, eventually reaching my zipper. She undoes it and slips inside, firmly grasping my now raging manhood. Pulling away from our now passionate kiss she lowers her face to my crotch, I moan as her wet lips envelope me and her spaceworm attacks my space ship.

    Words can't describe the feeling of ecstasy. After some unforgettable pleasuring I push her back on the bed and begin sliding her skirt off those amazing legs. As I pull off her moist panties her aroma enters me, she is ready. I lower my face into her smooth shaven love nest and begin to feast on it's delicacies.

    Salt. I taste fucking salt. As my tongue retreats back into it's safe haven, I can feel a strand of juice hanging out of my mouth. I swirl the sample around my mouth, intrigued by it's slimy gelatinous texture and swallow it.

    Then, I fucking knew.

    I get up and run to the bathroom, switching on the light. I must be sure. Then I see it, the thick white goo dripping off my chin. She was calling my name... "Mark? Come back to me! *moan*" I was unable to do anything but violently vomit for the next 10 minutes. After my stomach was empty of these evil man fluids, I washed out my mouth and ran for it.

    That my friends, is why I will never hook up with a whore again.
    AJAHAHAHA OH GOD THAT IS DISGUSTINGLY HILARIOUS

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    When I was 12 I went to a camp where I met a really cute girl and I had a little crush on her but I left camp expecting to never see her again until I came across her myspace, got her number and started talking. Turns out she liked me too and it made my heart sing. So we both agreed that we liked eachother and we texted every day until I was going to see her and ask her out. But during those days of talking I had learnt something. Once when she was 13 she did something. She sent a boy a nude photo due to peer pressure. This was the first girl I had ever liked that wasn't a little goody goody but I wanted to be a white knight so I was fairly upset. Then came the meeting and the girl I knew wasn't who sat before me. I knew the girl I saw in the pictures online and who I had seen 2 years ago but now she had braces, curly hair and bangs (I hate bangs) and she had gained weight. So I made it my mission to let her subtly know that I didn't like her any more. Long story short I haven't talked to her for a year (except for a very awckward short conversation over facebook in which she told me she still thinks about me every day.) but I will never get over the regret I have from being a white knight... She would have done anything for me... I could have had the nude photo. But instead of getting a blowjob before dumping her I just never talked to her again. And now it's too late to go back, and I'll never be able to get a nude photo or blowjob from a 13 year old now... :saddowns:
    Moral of the story: Don't be a white knight because the girl will probably turn out to be a whale anyway.
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  3. Post #123
    Frazah's Avatar
    June 2010
    590 Posts
    ^

    :wtc:
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  4. Post #124
    Gold Member
    BagMinge101's Avatar
    April 2007
    1,904 Posts
    I was at my best friend's house one time. We were hanging out all day and it got pretty late, so I decided I was going to crash at his place. His mom was on the chesterfield in the living room, so I slept on his floor. I had a sleeping bag and a pillow, it was pretty damn comfortable. We talked for a bit, and couldn't get to sleep, so we got a bunch of food and ate for about an hour straight. It was fucking glorious. I was on the verge of falling asleep, when he got out of his bed and lied down next to me. I felt a little weird, because we're both guys, but I shrugged it off. Later, he grabbed my dick and started to stroke it, I began to feel really uncomfortable, but it felt so good. I wasn't sure of what to do. Eventually he put some lube all over my dick and I was fucking him in the ass. I was dead tired and confused as fuck. I came and rolled over to fall asleep. I am straight. We haven't talked about it since.
    Roofies isn't the name for a kind of food nor candy.
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  5. Post #125
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    November 2006
    6,827 Posts
    I don't really know what I can write to this
    lol'd
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  6. Post #126
    Gold Member
    FoxMeister's Avatar
    April 2008
    15,188 Posts
    Sent one.
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  7. Post #127
    Frazah's Avatar
    June 2010
    590 Posts
    So about 3 weeks ago, I was messing around with this new website I found. It sends multiple messages to whoever you want via text message. So I decided to fuck with some girl I liked. So I sent her 30 messages saying “YOU’RE A SLUT” and since I had her sister’s number I decided to send 10 messages saying “LOOK AT YOUR SISTER’S PHONE”. It was lulzy, none the less. She complained on her Facebook that some guy was “hacking her phone with perverted messages.” I laughed, and then went on with my normal routine. About a week later, this faggot who went to my school asked out my friend’s girlfriend, even though he knew that he was with her. So I decided to use the website to fuck with him. He had no idea what my number was, so I decided to send him one message before I unveil a barrage of 50 messages. I sent him “Don’t fuck with (friend’s name).” And I sent the messages. About 3 hours later, the girl who I spammed the week before sent me a message saying “Why do you think I’m a slut?” I was awestricken. How could she have known it was me?! Then I realized. The faggot just so happened to be a childhood friend of the girl I liked and he asked if she knew the person who sent the messages to him. (Remember that I sent if a message via MY phone before I sent all the messages via the website.) And so I decided to tell a lie. I sent “I never said that. What are you talking about?” And then she forwarded the conversation of her and Dr. Faggot to me. I then started thinking about what I should do next. But then she sent me another message saying “It was flattering <3.” I seriously fell off of my chair I was sitting on. I then sent her a message saying “Wow I didn’t really mean for it to be flattering I was just playing a joke on you.” About 30 seconds later she replied “Well that’s a shame; I fingered myself to the image of myself being a slut.” Now I was freaking out. The ONE time I could get a chance with this girl and turns out to be an actual slut. Now she won’t talk to me, what do, Hezzy?
    lol no sluts for you
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  8. Post #128
    Gold Member
    Aurain's Avatar
    June 2005
    6,201 Posts
    I was at my best friend's house one time. We were hanging out all day and it got pretty late, so I decided I was going to crash at his place. His mom was on the chesterfield in the living room, so I slept on his floor. I had a sleeping bag and a pillow, it was pretty damn comfortable. We talked for a bit, and couldn't get to sleep, so we got a bunch of food and ate for about an hour straight. It was fucking glorious. I was on the verge of falling asleep, when he got out of his bed and lied down next to me. I felt a little weird, because we're both guys, but I shrugged it off. Later, he grabbed my dick and started to stroke it, I began to feel really uncomfortable, but it felt so good. I wasn't sure of what to do. Eventually he put some lube all over my dick and I was fucking him in the ass. I was dead tired and confused as fuck. I came and rolled over to fall asleep. I am straight. We haven't talked about it since.
    When I read this I thought, "He touched the guys mom up right?" and then from nowhere he's fucking his buddy up the arse. There are no words.
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  9. Post #129
    Gold Member
    Géza!'s Avatar
    January 2008
    6,128 Posts
    I feel bad for getting slightly aroused by the incest story in the OP. GOD DAMNIT


    But the last one with the party and the girl and the semen is hilarious. I would've still screwed her, though.
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  10. Post #130
    Gold Member
    blacksam's Avatar
    July 2007
    2,295 Posts
    How I've missed this thread. Man it feels good to know my life isn't as messed up as others :lol:.
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  11. Post #131
    |FlapJack|'s Avatar
    July 2009
    6,138 Posts
    I was invited to a party one night
    ...
    That my friends, is why I will never hook up with a whore again.
    Made my day.
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  12. Post #132
    Gold Member
    onox37's Avatar
    February 2006
    3,683 Posts
    Wasn't there one a while ago where a guy caught his sister's boyfriend sucking his own dick.
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  13. Post #133

    February 2010
    2,705 Posts
    I was invited to a party one night, being single at the time I agreed to go if only just for the social interaction and free booze that would be flowing all night.

    I change into some baggy jeans and somewhat smart looking silk shirt and head over to the store with some friends. I wasn't asked for ID and left with 10 packs of Heiniken.

    When my friends and I arrived the party was already full packed with guys and girls dancing, drinking and having a great time. Naturally i'm shy but I casually (if you even can) walked past an overly horny teenager attempting to ram his hand up some girls skirt. God if he wasn't drunk, it was a paper bag moment.

    While I was filling my glass I saw her. She had blonde hair and mesmerizing deep blue eyes that I couldn't stop staring at. Her beautiful tan glistened in the beating disco ball lights. I stared at her feet and slowly drifted my eyes up her legs, lingering for a few seconds at her thighs. I imagined myself between them and soon had to leave the room and hide my raging manhood. I forced myself to calm down went back to the beer keg, looking round in search of her. I'd lost her! Frantically I asked around, how desperate did I sound, searching for a chick I didn't even know the name of!

    From this point on I drank myself away, beer, more beer, more and more. I came here to party and planned to do so.

    As I was wandering around the house, I glanced up the stairs and saw her again, I wasn't letting her go this time oh no. In my half drunk state I manned up and spoke to her. After a while of small talk I invited her into one of the upper rooms to talk in a quieter atmosphere. Her name was Sophie, oh Sophie what I would do to you. We sat on the edge of a rather ruffled looking bed, I knew it was now or never. I scooted closer and wrapped my arm around her. What? No attempts to stop me? Yes!! Haha, I'm in I thought.

    She placed her left hand on my neck, so lightly it was like heaven. She began to work it slowly down, running her silk like fingers across my skin and down my chest, eventually reaching my zipper. She undoes it and slips inside, firmly grasping my now raging manhood. Pulling away from our now passionate kiss she lowers her face to my crotch, I moan as her wet lips envelope me and her spaceworm attacks my space ship.

    Words can't describe the feeling of ecstasy. After some unforgettable pleasuring I push her back on the bed and begin sliding her skirt off those amazing legs. As I pull off her moist panties her aroma enters me, she is ready. I lower my face into her smooth shaven love nest and begin to feast on it's delicacies.

    Salt. I taste fucking salt. As my tongue retreats back into it's safe haven, I can feel a strand of juice hanging out of my mouth. I swirl the sample around my mouth, intrigued by it's slimy gelatinous texture and swallow it.

    Then, I fucking knew.

    I get up and run to the bathroom, switching on the light. I must be sure. Then I see it, the thick white goo dripping off my chin. She was calling my name... "Mark? Come back to me! *moan*" I was unable to do anything but violently vomit for the next 10 minutes. After my stomach was empty of these evil man fluids, I washed out my mouth and ran for it.

    That my friends, is why I will never hook up with a whore again.
    Oh my God.
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  14. Post #134
    Gold Member
    Hezzy's Avatar
    January 2005
    8,021 Posts
    Anonymous Confession posted:
    So, I was in school, just talking with my friend and drinking out of my 2 liter coke bottle, when my friend... dared me to do what he called ''The ultimate dare'' for ten bucks. I asked him what i had to do, he said ''ok, take your coke bottle into the bathroom, jizz inside the coke bottle with coke still in it, then go up to one of the girls and ask if she wants a sip. After a long time of trying to convince me i finally gave in, so I did my thing with the bottle and then i thought a little bit about which girl to ask... after that i made up my mind. so I decided to go ask Rebecca if she wanted a ''sip'' So then finally, I walked up to her and just as I was going to ask, I heard a voice behind me... ''Please, i didn't drink anything this morning, can I just have a little bit of your coke?'' She drank it.
    Hahaha, that's crafty but also really mean. You should've tricked your friend into drinking it too!

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    Hello Hezzy -- or shall I call you Herr Gestapo?

    That's what you're acting like. THE GOD DAMN GESTAPO. It's been a long time since the last confessional thread. A REAL LONG TIME. I began to miss them, honestly they're one of my only sources of joy left in the world. I was beginning to fear that I would never see one again, when I decided -- it should be me. I SHOULD DO THE FUCKING THREAD. WHO ELSE COULD DO IT BETTER THAN ME? I could be the only one. Then, a few other fanatics sprung up, spouting bullshit about how they wanted to do the thread, so... I talked to them. We decided we would work on it together, the group of us. Somebody LEAKED THE IDEA. SOMEBODY FUCKED UP. SOMEBODY BEGAN TALKING TO YOU. PUTTING IDEAS INTO YOUR HEAD ABOUT MAKING THE THREAD. I guess he thought that if he couldn't have the thread... NOBODY COULD.

    NOBODY -- AND I MEAN NOBODY -- TREATS ME LIKE THAT. I'm better than that.

    I've got my Smith and Wesson .500 and a list of IP Addresses. I'll make these fuckers pay.
    I don't trust anyone with these threads - all it takes is one prick to leak something and then the whole thing loses credibility. I have done this over the space of 4 years and not had a single leak - every confession is anonymous.

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    Dear artist formerly known as Hezzy,

    It's been a long time since the last confessional. Very long. Of course, someone had to fill the void, and I wanted that person to be me. But then some other people started popping up, saying they wanted to make the thread. So, I put up a ruse of working together, that we all make the thread. But then someone started talking, asking for permission, planting the idea in your head to make the thread. I mean, if he can't have it, no-one can, right?

    No-one steps on me like that.

    All I have is a Remington 700 and some IP adresses. That should be enough.
    Oh, I get it. You're the guys who subtly kept asking me about it over the forums and steam

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    This is the chocolate factory surprise guy. One of my EARLIER girlfriends told me to cut my nails in front of all of her friends. I thought i'd get her back, so i cut off aformentioned nails, placed them in a small bag, then snipped off some of my pubes, put them in too, had a nice wank, came in the bag, then let it settle for a day. Then I spat in it and gave it to her and said "there you go"

    i dont know why im single
    Hahaha what the hell would possess you to do such a thing?

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I'm afraid to have it, sex that is. I'm 18 years old and never had it, and that really bothers me. But the actual sex isn't what scares me, but the size of my junk is what does. I'm pretty sure I am one step above a micropenis, as I'm pretty sure erect I'm barely 4", or so it feels. It isn't thick either, and from what I've seen and heard I really should be ashamed of it. This is why I'm afraid to have sex. I'm afraid when it will come down to it, I won't be able to pleasure my partner, or she will laugh or something similar. I also think it's the main reason I've kept myself from having any contact with girls because I'm afraid that if I were to connect with someone and form some sort of a relationship, and we want to make it physical, we won't be able to because of my deformity, and she will leave and go find someone else that can make it physical.
    Go to the doctor or something, get it checked out. They might be able to offer you an enlargement!

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    Hai Hezzalicious,
    I have a confession for you.

    Remember the last confessional? The one where that one guy posted the incest story with the three girls and the guy?

    Well I subscribed to it before it was locked

    To this day, I go to page 15 and fap constantly to that wincest story. In fact, I want more to be posted.

    Cheers!
    I do not recall, please can someone link us all for our benefit. I can't find the post

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    There was once this boy in my class, called bert, he looked like a girl, so my friend, the dickhead he was, said she was called betty, so he dares me to ask her out, so i reluctantly go and talk to him, and when i finish asking if she will go out with me, he then replied saying ' but your a by' then i realised he was a boy, i went and hit my friend.
    >>>OWNED<<< i guess

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I was the guy who liked his Girlfriends feet, when the feet are smelly I somehow enjoy it. I smell my hands afterward and nostalgia in the thought of feeling her up again (feetwise). Sometimes she doesn't like it but I keep pushing on and sometimes she eventually gives in. It makes me hard.
    I don't understand, how can you enjoy smelly feet

    Anonymous Confession posted:
    I went over to my friend's house today to play some Halo and listen to some music... eventually his parents leave and we order some pizza. So we decide to surf Goregasm and some assorted gore-porn sites while we were eating pizza. No biggie, it's a past-time of ours, surfing the gore and eating pizza.

    Then we decide to go to bash.org. We get to the quote about the possibilites of throwing a love doll filled with ketchup off the roof and having it land beside someone, who starts jacking off and reciting MacBeth. My friend gets mischievious look on his face for the next fifteen minutes. After a while he says, "Want to see something cool if you promise not to tell?"

    He takes me into his room and opens the closet, where I find a 4-foot tall Mickey Mouse plush doll. No problem, right?

    Upon closer inspection, it seems that this doll, which he has had since he was four years old, has rips in the areas of the crotch, the hindquarters, and the mouth.

    The next half hour kind of blurred together; all I remember him talking about was something about shampoo or his mom's panties or some crap like that. I'm a changed person. I honestly didn't think that I could have met a person more ****ed up than me. A Mickey Mouse doll, for christ's sake...
    Anonymous Confession posted:
    handy hint for boners on public beaches - wear a pair of tight briefs underneath your trunks. It really helps to hide your raging fireman if you see or have fun with a very dazzling looking lady
    optionally you could just exercise a bit of self restraint?
    no, not in that way
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  15. Post #135
    elitehakor v2's Avatar
    June 2010
    3,836 Posts
    hahahaha these are pure gold
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  16. Post #136
    JolKally's Avatar
    July 2009
    4,037 Posts
    Sent :/
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  17. Post #137
    xVENUSx's Avatar
    August 2009
    594 Posts
    Sent a few minutes ago.
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  18. Post #138
    kwkws's Avatar
    November 2008
    509 Posts
    The guy said go go gryffindor to turn into the gryffindor power ranger
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  19. Post #139
    Gold Member
    lemongrapes's Avatar
    February 2009
    2,609 Posts
    Dude, lemongrapes sound delicious.
    Don't know where I came up with the name from, think it was just "what if you could have lemons in grape form".
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  20. Post #140
    What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
    Xionasis's Avatar
    April 2007
    4,305 Posts
    You going to answer my PM, Hezzy?
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  21. Post #141
    Gold Member
    mobrockers's Avatar
    February 2009
    12,114 Posts
    I wished I had anything to submit D:
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  22. Post #142
    Sometimes I put my nose in my dog's butt and I furiously squeeze his belly until he farts.
    AutomataReturns's Avatar
    May 2009
    2,380 Posts
    Anonymous Confessional posted:
    There was once this boy in my class, called bert, he looked like a girl, so my friend, the dickhead he was, said she was called betty, so he dares me to ask her out, so i reluctantly go and talk to him, and when i finish asking if she will go out with me, he then replied saying ' but your a by' then i realised he was a boy, i went and hit my friend.
    Bert is 100% a girl's name.
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  23. Post #143
    Voted WORST Gold Member 2012
    Killuah's Avatar
    August 2005
    15,769 Posts
    I like how some people post "sent" so Hezzy can link the times.
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  24. Post #144
    Meloan's Avatar
    February 2010
    770 Posts
    Sent
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  25. Post #145
    Gold Member
    mobrockers's Avatar
    February 2009
    12,114 Posts
    I found something to email :D
    Just sent it.
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  26. Post #146
    Gold Member
    SkinkYEA's Avatar
    May 2009
    1,904 Posts
    Man, I find these stories very interesting.

    I actually yelled :wtc: at the incest story on the first page.
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  27. Post #147
    $1 TITLE!
    Skellyhell's Avatar
    December 2007
    3,749 Posts
    I like how some people post "sent" so Hezzy can link the times.
    I waited a while after mine.
    If Hezzy really wanted to know which was me, my email address matches my username :p
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  28. Post #148
    JoeyZ's Avatar
    June 2010
    3,467 Posts
    There's no point in trying to keep my name anonymous from hezzy. My email is the same as my username.

    Edit:

    Whoa, what a perfectly matching ninja.
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  29. Post #149
    Gold Member
    Hezzy's Avatar
    January 2005
    8,021 Posts
    I like how some people post "sent" so Hezzy can link the times.
    Effort, I don't bother looking at anything past the name of the person sending it so I can see whether or not someone has sent in multiple confession for follow-ups or to mention it if it is relevant and enhances the comedy
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  30. Post #150
    Gold Member
    BagMinge101's Avatar
    April 2007
    1,904 Posts
    We didn't mean it like that, Hezzy.
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  31. Post #151
    $1 TITLE!
    Skellyhell's Avatar
    December 2007
    3,749 Posts
    Effort, I don't bother looking at anything past the name of the person sending it so I can see whether or not someone has sent in multiple confession for follow-ups or to mention it if it is relevant and enhances the comedy
    I may have sent in another one, because my memory is laggy :v
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  32. Post #152
    not retarded or something
    Fenriswolf's Avatar
    July 2008
    6,196 Posts
    I'm gonna send one completely serious.
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  33. Post #153
    Dennab
    July 2010
    7,387 Posts
    I sent a 100 % honest one.

    Can I send more than one? I've got loads of shit.
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  34. Post #154
    Gold Member
    Ninx's Avatar
    November 2008
    626 Posts
    I sent a 100 % honest one.

    Can I send more than one? I've got loads of shit.
    Well if it's anonymous no-one is going to know you sent multiple so I would think so.
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  35. Post #155
    $1 TITLE!
    Skellyhell's Avatar
    December 2007
    3,749 Posts
    Well if it's anonymous no-one is going to know you sent multiple so I would think so.
    But Hezzy reads the names to see if people are sending in multiples.
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  36. Post #156
    Dennab
    July 2010
    7,387 Posts
    But Hezzy reads the names to see if people are sending in multiples.
    Good point. Well, I think the one I gave in was good enough. It was 100% true.
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  37. Post #157
    Gold Member
    Klownox's Avatar
    January 2008
    9,709 Posts
    you're allowed to send in multiple confessions.
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  38. Post #158
    Ace of Snails's Avatar
    June 2010
    269 Posts
    sent
    they may not be as good as some others because mine were completely true.
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  39. Post #159
    Gold Member
    Tacosheller's Avatar
    March 2010
    7,748 Posts
    Sent
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  40. Post #160
    Fantom's Avatar
    July 2010
    30 Posts
    I love how Mr. Gestapo is probably just drowning in these confessions, trying to choose which ones he will post first.
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