1. Post #1
    StephenOrlov's Avatar
    December 2009
    605 Posts
    So, I have another story for you, facepunch. The title explains it, but let me go into more detail for you.

    I had to get some dental work done a little bit ago.(My tonsils out) So, I drove to the dentist, did my usual reading of the 2007 magazines, and eventually they called me in. I was calm- unlike most people, I like going to the dentist and the doctor's office. I always say what they are doing hurts so they inject shit in me and I get a numb face or get knocked unconscious- it's a nice break from life and stuff.

    So, I go in, modestly thank the Vietnamese nurses for complimenting me on how tall I am for my age, and take a relaxed seat on the comfortable reclining chair. So, they leave me in the room alone for like 5 or 10 minutes or something and so I'm texting my friends and playing around with all their shit- the things that squirt that water jet in your mouth to clean it out- and had some fun shooting that on myself and practicing my accuracy shooting it into my mouth and drinking it.

    So, they come in, put me under, and take out my tonsils.

    Well, this is something I hadn't had planned- I awoke with a fat boner. This wasn't that mistakable-for-a-cloth-lump-while-wearing-jeans boner, either. I was wearing loose basketball shorts. So, I find I have this fat boner, and the vietnamese ladies are just ignoring it, but it's raging. It's like what you have when you wake up in the morning sometimes. It's not a sexual boner- just a fat morning boner. This is what I was wishing for- but no, they were middle aged and kind of.. meh.



    So, they leave the room for a minute and I use my faster than light reflexes to swing that shit up into my wasteband as good as I can- but it didn't help that much.

    Basically this day was awkward as fuck. As to WHY I was wearing loose basketball shorts, I have a fantastic explanation of that. But i'll save that story for later.
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  2. Post #2
    Roll a d100, 99? Deary me...
    cyclocius's Avatar
    January 2009
    8,358 Posts
    They probably get that all the time, makes them feel sexy to know you popped an erection over them.
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  3. Post #3
    myng's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,922 Posts
    Interesting read.
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  4. Post #4
    Dennab
    August 2010
    6 Posts
    who fucking cares shithead

    (User was permabanned for this post ("Doug" - verynicelady))

    (User was permabanned for this post ("Doug" - Benji))
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  5. Post #5
    StephenOrlov's Avatar
    December 2009
    605 Posts
    who fucking cares shithead
    Doug, get the fuck out of my thread.
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  6. Post #6
    JolKally's Avatar
    July 2009
    4,037 Posts
    I was expecting badage boys.
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  7. Post #7
    goatse
    Craptasket's Avatar
    January 2006
    32,067 Posts
    I was expecting badage boys.


    Thanks for the unneeded post
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Sputn!k's Avatar
    September 2008
    1,397 Posts
    My orthodontist has a staff of hot 20-something mexican nurses :smug:
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  9. Post #9
    BackOnCrack's Avatar
    September 2009
    1,413 Posts
    Thanks for the unneeded post
    Certainly this post was needed
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  10. Post #10
    Dennab
    August 2010
    6 Posts
    Doug, get the fuck out of my thread.
    you call this a thread? i call it a fucking shitheap. you couldn't write a thread with asher roth and me post coaching you you fucking faggot. clear cookies and never come back to facepunch.
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    Dippeggs's Avatar
    August 2006
    2,551 Posts
    Nice, when I woke after getting my wisdom teeth out I just threw up.
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    IceBlizzard's Avatar
    June 2006
    855 Posts
    you call this a thread? i call it a fucking shitheap. you couldn't write a thread with asher roth and me post coaching you you fucking faggot. clear cookies and never come back to facepunch.
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    imaguy's Avatar
    August 2005
    2,791 Posts
    I was expecting badage boys.
    Posts like these are just as stupid as the badage boys threads
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  14. Post #14
    you call this a thread? i call it a fucking shitheap. you couldn't write a thread with asher roth and me post coaching you you fucking faggot. clear cookies and never come back to facepunch.
    I call this a thread
    I also call you someone about to be banned
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  15. Post #15
    goatse
    Craptasket's Avatar
    January 2006
    32,067 Posts
    Certainly this post was needed
    thx
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  16. Post #16
    Brage Nyman's Avatar
    May 2010
    2,348 Posts
    Once i got a erection at the dentist's office so she took my cock out and
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  17. Post #17
    MrAfroShark70's Avatar
    March 2010
    4,605 Posts
    What kind of wet dream were you having to cause that?

    Once i got a erection at the dentist's office so she took my cock out and
    Stabbed it with a needle causing it to go numb and limp?
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  18. Post #18
    Anastatius's Avatar
    August 2010
    710 Posts
    I hate waking up over friends houses with morning wood. It makes things awkward when their parents are the first ones to see me(I usually sleep on the couch).

  19. Post #19
    CactusCocktail's Avatar
    August 2010
    124 Posts
    The only medical person I ever met that was relatively good looking was my orthodontist. Then all the secretaries are miserable and bitchy.

  20. Post #20
    gulerodskage's Avatar
    June 2009
    31 Posts
    Wait, when did dentists start removing tonsils? A tonsillectomy is performed in a hospital by a surgeon. A dentist works on teeth. I call shenanigans.
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  21. Post #21
    crackberry's Avatar
    July 2009
    2,424 Posts
    Well then, that was awkward.

  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    rapperkid04's Avatar
    March 2005
    4,801 Posts
    I've never understood what anyone meant by "tucking it under the waistband"

  23. Post #23
    Gold Member
    IceBlizzard's Avatar
    June 2006
    855 Posts
    I've never understood what anyone meant by "tucking it under the waistband"
    Instantly goes flaccid
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  24. Post #24
    Gold Member
    pedroion's Avatar
    December 2007
    4,351 Posts
    I've never understood what anyone meant by "tucking it under the waistband"
    Want me to show you
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  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    rapperkid04's Avatar
    March 2005
    4,801 Posts
    Want me to show you
    No. It just doesn't make sense. I guess I just don't have the same problem.
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  26. Post #26
    I TOLD YOU BRO. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE MOON.
    64fanatic's Avatar
    May 2006
    991 Posts
    I know a couple dentists as friends and they say often most younger guys will pop boners when they go under, but it usually goes away before they wake up but not always ahahahah.

    Now you know.
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  27. Post #27
    spacedooky's Avatar
    December 2007
    1,002 Posts
    If you stuff it in your waistband it doesn't stick up vertically, rather it's parallel to your chest.

  28. Post #28
    ExplodingGuy's Avatar
    December 2009
    7,484 Posts
    Looks like you got a midline.

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
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  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    Bledrix's Avatar
    February 2007
    1,710 Posts
    I'd like to see more of that Asian.
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  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    rapperkid04's Avatar
    March 2005
    4,801 Posts
    If you stuff it in your waistband it doesn't stick up vertically, rather it's parallel to your chest.
    OH okay. That makes a lot more sense than how I was picturing it. Sounds a less painful too now
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  31. Post #31
    Nachoman17's Avatar
    June 2008
    788 Posts
    I got a boner and the doctor's office once. No one noticed.

    Source on the pic?

  32. Post #32
    ryanmh12's Avatar
    August 2007
    642 Posts
    What's that girl's name in the pic?

  33. Post #33
    CrazyMoron's Avatar
    September 2008
    502 Posts
    You said boner five times.
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  34. Post #34
    Shoupie's Avatar
    November 2009
    2,697 Posts
    My orthodontist has a staff of hot 20-something mexican nurses :smug:
    You have no reason to be smug. Your orthodontist is the one banging the hot 20-something Mexican nurses, not you.
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  35. Post #35
    Anteep2's Avatar
    September 2009
    1,584 Posts
    who fucking cares shithead

    (User was permabanned for this post ("Doug" - verynicelady))

    (User was permabanned for this post ("Doug" - Benji))
    that was genuine hilarity you made me laugh out loud
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  36. Post #36
    Wide Ruled's Avatar
    August 2010
    153 Posts
    I like how you have the image of a nurse when the thread was CLEARLY about dentists.

  37. Post #37
    Gold Member
    Upgrade123's Avatar
    January 2008
    5,478 Posts
    If you stuff it in your waistband it doesn't stick up vertically, rather it's parallel to your chest.
    If your boner reaches your chest, there's something wrong.
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  38. Post #38
    Shoupie's Avatar
    November 2009
    2,697 Posts
    If your boner reaches your chest, there's something wrong.
    Or there's something right.
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  39. Post #39
    goatse
    Craptasket's Avatar
    January 2006
    32,067 Posts
    If your boner reaches your chest, there's something wrong.
    I don't think so :q:
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  40. Post #40
    Gold Member
    pedroion's Avatar
    December 2007
    4,351 Posts
    If your boner reaches your chest, there's something wrong.
    Happens all the time