1. Post #1
    Gold Member
    codenamecueball's Avatar
    May 2009
    9,005 Posts


    HOLY MOTHERFUCKING MARY YOU SHOULD POST ALL OFF TOPIC QUESTIONS AND SHIT INTO HERE!


    :siren: RULES by daijitsu :siren:
    --
    I'm going to say this, and no one's going to listen. This thread is about people who think or act like they're tech savvy, and fail miserably. This could be smug kids saying their macbook could run Crysis on decent settings to garner attention, teachers at school spouting out things that make no sense and trying to get away with the "I'm the teacher, I'm right" excuse, or the usual haberdashery and whatnot.

    [release]Posts everyone is sick of:

    Laughing at normal people instead of actual tech-illiterate asshats:
    "My friend said he has 1 terabyte of ram lolol"
    "Someone said their 8800 video card is better than my 220GT turbo-derp, what a retard"

    stupid, repetitive, or extremely damaging pranks:
    "I unplugged my friend's mouse at school and they had to call over a teacher, I'm so cool"
    "I told my friend to delete system32 and he did lmfao"
    daijitsu posted:
    shadowsniper873 posted:
    Okay my turn. The idiot for our school's IT "department" (as they like to call it) gave me an admin account on the school network,(because he is retarded and thinks I wont notice) so I decide to fuck up everyone's files. Since everyone's files show up on the network drive, I delete everything from the word documents and copy and paste "I am a cock sucking fag!" and made every shortcut to a webpage "Rick Rolls" (since we are working on HTML there were about 5 on each account) and I delete all the files on the teachers account and replaced it with porn. So after i do all that shit we couldn't use any computers because "A virus got into the system and now we have to format them" (they format the computers every few weeks)
    And now every student who's files you just destroyed has to re-do their homework IF they have the time, possibly losing valuable information and weeks worth of hard time and effort. Teachers often ignore computer failure and file deletion as 'avoidable' and say you should have backed up your files and it's your own fault for losing it.

    Now we have several students with otherwise good grades getting a massive dent in their records, losing several points on their GPA, potentially losing just enough (depending on the scale of the project you just fucked up 'for the lulz') to be denied future admissions to colleges, universities, jobs, and other high-profile opportunities that required him to get an A in a specialty class, but their final project worth that wonderful 10 to 20% of their final grade just got replaced with the text "I am a cock sucking fag!" and they e-mailed it out to their teacher without looking for such a freak change in their past two months' worth of work.

    Their teacher, outraged by the 'obvious' act of defiance, fails them not only for the paper, but potentially marks them down even further, giving detention or suspending, or outright planting a 0 on their final grade.


    but hey, at least you got a few rickrolls in, right?
    [/release]

    [release]Blind hatred or fanboyism:
    People who say Macs suck are stupid and wrong
    People who say PCs suck are stupid and wrong
    "Macfags suck because apple sucks and they think they're better rage rage rage."
    "PC sucks cuz Mac is better."[/release]

    [release]Previous topics
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things V5 - I FLICK PSU VOLTAGE SWITCH
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things [V4]
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things [v3]
    Computer illiterate people that think they know things V2
    Computer illiterate people that think they know things.[/release]

    --

    Remember, tech illiterates ACT like they know things, but don't.

    It's fun when they actually follow their own advice on tech when they have NO clue what they're doing, like the one guy who said "My keyboard broke, so we bought a new computer because it was easier", or just general idiocy, like the one 8.5 minute rant that, in short, was "PC cost too much for gaming, spend the money on consoles and TVs because I don't want to be locked away in a room, so buy a mac. OSX MOTHAFUCKAAA"

    He actually peaced-out with "OSX." *gangsta-face*

    (I combined the OP made by someone else, forgot who and Dai's one.)

    PM me if you want anything added.

    <3 guys.
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  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    Scot's Avatar
    March 2007
    15,938 Posts
    Cool.

    Reposting my tale:

    My naughty friend torrented CoD4, but didn't know how to install it. I told him "Just unpack everything then run the setup. You can delete the installation files after, you don't need them."

    So the next day he came up to me and said "I did what you said and it didn't work. I ran the exe and I just got an error."

    Long story short, he installed the game and then deleted everything but the launcher exe. I facepalmed so hard by face is now on the back of my head.
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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    cbrain's Avatar
    July 2008
    2,122 Posts
    To the guy who posted in the last post complaining about his Dad:

    I know the Apple Store, and if like you said it was the widgets, they won't have charged him anything at all. He's spending your money on himself.
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    codenamecueball's Avatar
    May 2009
    9,005 Posts
    Also, the apple store won't charge you to look at the computer. iirc, when I went in they didn't charge me anything. I was out of warranty. Tell your dad to book in at the genius bar or he isn't going to get anywhere.
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    cbrain's Avatar
    July 2008
    2,122 Posts
    He said he went to the Apple Store, so if he's taking money he's clearly spending it on shit for himself.
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  6. Post #6
    Computermaster's Avatar
    December 2009
    2,975 Posts
    Obligatory reposting of my story:

    Honestly, it still makes me laugh and facepalm at the same time.

    Last summer, I did computer work as my summer job. I got all kinds of customers, even a few businesses. One of my best (read: gave me the most work and so the most money) called me in one day to set up his brand-spanking new iMac. (Take note: He bought a brand new PC about 6 months before this occurence.)

    I could already tell something was up, since this was the first computer related purchase he'd made without my advice (I'd never before said about Macs to him) in the 3 months I'd been doing work for him. Now, of course I said nothing at first, I did my job and he handed me my check.

    After I had it in my wallet, I asked him about the Mac. He said he'd gone to the Apple store to get an iPod for his daughter. Apparently, one of the workers up there smooth-talked him into buying an iMac. He thought he did good, buying the next to lowest model ($1,500 USD). When I asked him exactly what made him want to buy one, considering he already had a perfectly good computer, the job I'd just done made perfect sense.

    He called me in that day to configure Boot Camp. He also told me to set it up so that Windows was the default choice.

    The dude's reasoning? "Well, the guy at the store said Macs never get viruses and I can install Windows on it. So I figured that by doing that, Windows could never get a virus."

    I actually visibly facepalmed right in front of him (we're good pals so he didn't get offended). I then spent 30 minutes explaining to him how it really worked.

    After I was done, he said "Oh well, it looks nice so I guess I'll keep it." As far as I know, the computer that the iMac replaced is still sitting in the dude's closet (2 years later) unused.
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  7. Post #7
    Mandrith's Avatar
    August 2010
    971 Posts
    He hasn't gone to the Apple store yet. I'm hoping he'll realize that he is being a dumbass before he sells everything. If he still doesn't believe it is the widgets... I give up.
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  8. Post #8
    Mattk50's Avatar
    April 2010
    4,496 Posts
    He hasn't gone to the Apple store yet. I'm hoping he'll realize that he is being a dumbass before he sells everything. If he still doesn't believe it is the widgets... I give up.
    dont give up, get even. steal from his wallet to get money and buy a fancy new gfx card with it.
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  9. Post #9
    thf
    Gold Member
    Dennab
    June 2009
    3,331 Posts
    I would be SO pissed of if that was my dad. Luckily my dad understands and trusts me with computers.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    DaCommie1's Avatar
    June 2008
    7,362 Posts
    You honestly need someone to either try rationally speaking with him, or yell the shit out of him.

    Also, I approve of this thread's title.
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    meppers's Avatar
    April 2007
    9,473 Posts
    He hasn't gone to the Apple store yet. I'm hoping he'll realize that he is being a dumbass before he sells everything. If he still doesn't believe it is the widgets... I give up.
    Tell your mom
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    GamerKiwi's Avatar
    November 2006
    5,045 Posts
    From last thread:
    I'm typing this on my phone. He just took all my electronics, and put a password on the WiFi "As a punishment for screwing the computer up." He also just told me that he is selling everything he just took to "Pay for the repairs and a new computer."
    :smithicide:
    Kill him.
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member

    November 2008
    10,947 Posts
    SuperDuperScoot posted:
    40,300 reloads on the ACTA bomb.
    I have a bad habit of never turning my computer off.
    Up for 12 days and 4 hours...


    Also about the stupid dads and the widgets, tell him to add more widgets and recommend a ton of them to him. Maybe then he'll see it was the friggen' widgets doing that.
    how do you only have 40,300 reloads after 12 days? I left mine on for like 15 hours and I already have 22,166.
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  14. Post #14
    Mattk50's Avatar
    April 2010
    4,496 Posts
    how do you only have 40,300 reloads after 12 days? I left mine on for like 15 hours and I already have 22,166.
    maybe it went into sleep mode.

    i left it for 2 and a half days and got 50k reloads.
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  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    finbe's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,272 Posts
    Tell your mother that your dad is stealing from your wallet and taking all of your shit and is a ignorant prick who thinks facepunch does not know there shit because as far as im concerned even being here for a few weeks i know that facepunch knows its shit about computers
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  16. Post #16
    Mandrith's Avatar
    August 2010
    971 Posts
    On 15% battery right now, and my phone charger is gone too. I'll post tomorrow if my dad admits he was a dumbass and gives me my stuff back. If not, goodbye everyone.
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  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    finbe's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,272 Posts
    Oh no the computer illiterates They are taking over the world what will we do now will our president primenster and the pope be computer illiteracy facepunch we have lost the war on illiteracy it is a sad day
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  18. Post #18
    BOSSMAN
    leontodd's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,492 Posts
    Ahh a nice new thread.
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  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    GamerKiwi's Avatar
    November 2006
    5,045 Posts
    If he doesn't concede at all, try telling your mom about the situation or something. From my experience, moms tend to be a little more understanding.
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  20. Post #20
    Wombo194's Avatar
    August 2009
    1,267 Posts
    how do you only have 40,300 reloads after 12 days? I left mine on for like 15 hours and I already have 22,166.
    Slow computer maybe?
    :iiam:
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  21. Post #21
    Gold Member
    Dr Nick's Avatar
    November 2007
    3,916 Posts
    He hasn't gone to the Apple store yet. I'm hoping he'll realize that he is being a dumbass before he sells everything. If he still doesn't believe it is the widgets... I give up.
    I'm really glad my dad isn't a persistent cunt. I just wish he'd ask me before buying a new computer. He always ends up paying way more than he needs to.
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  22. Post #22
    Wombo194's Avatar
    August 2009
    1,267 Posts
    Off topic, can anybody make my avatar but with transparency?

    Edited:

    Auto merge damnit!
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  23. Post #23
    Gold Member
    finbe's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,272 Posts
    snip
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  24. Post #24
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,424 Posts
    actually show him that deleting the widgets makes it faster
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  25. Post #25
    Steins;Gate SUCKS
    Dave_Parker's Avatar
    October 2008
    5,063 Posts
    Title is gold.
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  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    Panda X's Avatar
    August 2006
    9,825 Posts
    I read the last part of the title first. Confused me.
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  27. Post #27
    We're made of star-stuff
    LarparNar's Avatar
    February 2009
    10,263 Posts



    Also I laughed at the title of the thread.
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  28. Post #28
    Pixel Heart's Avatar
    July 2009
    4,727 Posts
    My brother still thinks XP is better for gaming, just because he gets more FPS in WoW... what a retard...
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  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    Panda X's Avatar
    August 2006
    9,825 Posts


    Also I laughed at the title of the thread.
    That guy makes me want to cry. Morons who call themselves by a name which makes it seem they know what they're talking about.
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  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    DOG-GY's Avatar
    June 2009
    13,295 Posts
    My brother still thinks XP is better for gaming, just because he gets more FPS in WoW... what a retard...
    do benchmarks.

    I think that most of these home problems could be avoided by being proactive about the problem instead of being negative.
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  31. Post #31
    Follow me on github!
    benjojo's Avatar
    January 2009
    2,622 Posts
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  32. Post #32
    We're made of star-stuff
    LarparNar's Avatar
    February 2009
    10,263 Posts
    I think he blocked me so please post my 256MB Windows 7 video for him and say "LooperNor says hi!"

    Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc-kWAwRcgw
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  33. Post #33
    ColdFusion's Avatar
    December 2009
    2,227 Posts
    *IMGS*


    Also I laughed at the title of the thread.
    I once ran windows vista on 256 mb of ram. (install requires 512 but you can take the ram out after you installed the PC. It booted but wasn't really useful for anything
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  34. Post #34
    We're made of star-stuff
    LarparNar's Avatar
    February 2009
    10,263 Posts
    I once ran windows vista on 256 mb of ram. (install requires 512 but you can take the ram out after you installed the PC. It booted but wasn't really useful for anything
    Yeah I did the same.

    Check my previous comment.
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  35. Post #35
    Wombo194's Avatar
    August 2009
    1,267 Posts
    -snip-
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  36. Post #36
    BluFox's Avatar
    November 2009
    1,121 Posts
    Yesssss new thread!


    Content- My friend started playing WoW and he came up to me one day and said


    "Dude my computer runs at 6 FPS! What did yours run at when you played??"

    "Like 100 or 90 usually"

    "Wow dude your computer sucks! Mine is sooo much better"

    "I think you are getting fps confused with ping..."

    "Dude stop trying to cover up the fact that your computer blows"

    :irony:
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  37. Post #37
    Follow me on github!
    benjojo's Avatar
    January 2009
    2,622 Posts
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  38. Post #38
    We're made of star-stuff
    LarparNar's Avatar
    February 2009
    10,263 Posts
    Looks like linux to me.
    You must be blind then.
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  39. Post #39
    Gold Member
    Spartan8907's Avatar
    July 2007
    2,353 Posts
    On 15% battery right now, and my phone charger is gone too. I'll post tomorrow if my dad admits he was a dumbass and gives me my stuff back. If not, goodbye everyone.
    Dear god. If you can still read this, just go on when hes not looking and add even more widgets. As many as you can. Then when he complains about how slow its become, tell him you added lots of widgets because "they're made by apple, they couldn't possibly slow down a mac."



    Fuck I'm late.
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  40. Post #40
    Mattk50's Avatar
    April 2010
    4,496 Posts
    Looks like linux to me.
    lol.
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