1. Post #1
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,279 Posts
    HOLY MOTHERFUCKING MARY YOU SHOULD POST ALL OFF TOPIC QUESTIONS AND SHIT INTO HERE!


    :siren: RULES by daijitsu :siren:
    --
    I'm going to say this, and no one's going to listen. This thread is about people who think or act like they're tech savvy, and fail miserably. This could be smug kids saying their macbook could run Crysis on decent settings to garner attention, teachers at school spouting out things that make no sense and trying to get away with the "I'm the teacher, I'm right" excuse, or the usual haberdashery and whatnot.


    Posts everyone is sick of:

    Laughing at normal people instead of actual tech-illiterate asshats:
    "My friend said he has 1 terabyte of ram lolol"
    "Someone said their 8800 video card is better than my 220GT turbo-derp, what a retard"

    stupid, repetitive, or extremely damaging pranks:
    "I unplugged my friend's mouse at school and they had to call over a teacher, I'm so cool"
    "I told my friend to delete system32 and he did lmfao"
    daijitsu posted:
    shadowsniper873 posted:
    Okay my turn. The idiot for our school's IT "department" (as they like to call it) gave me an admin account on the school network,(because he is retarded and thinks I wont notice) so I decide to fuck up everyone's files. Since everyone's files show up on the network drive, I delete everything from the word documents and copy and paste "I am a cock sucking fag!" and made every shortcut to a webpage "Rick Rolls" (since we are working on HTML there were about 5 on each account) and I delete all the files on the teachers account and replaced it with porn. So after i do all that shit we couldn't use any computers because "A virus got into the system and now we have to format them" (they format the computers every few weeks)
    And now every student who's files you just destroyed has to re-do their homework IF they have the time, possibly losing valuable information and weeks worth of hard time and effort. Teachers often ignore computer failure and file deletion as 'avoidable' and say you should have backed up your files and it's your own fault for losing it.

    Now we have several students with otherwise good grades getting a massive dent in their records, losing several points on their GPA, potentially losing just enough (depending on the scale of the project you just fucked up 'for the lulz') to be denied future admissions to colleges, universities, jobs, and other high-profile opportunities that required him to get an A in a specialty class, but their final project worth that wonderful 10 to 20% of their final grade just got replaced with the text "I am a cock sucking fag!" and they e-mailed it out to their teacher without looking for such a freak change in their past two months' worth of work.

    Their teacher, outraged by the 'obvious' act of defiance, fails them not only for the paper, but potentially marks them down even further, giving detention or suspending, or outright planting a 0 on their final grade.


    but hey, at least you got a few rickrolls in, right?


    Blind hatred or fanboyism:
    People who say Macs suck are stupid and wrong
    People who say PCs suck are stupid and wrong
    "Macfags suck because apple sucks and they think they're better rage rage rage."
    "PC sucks cuz Mac is better."



    Previous topics
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things V6 - My CPU is clocked to 11:00AM
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things V5 - I FLICK PSU VOLTAGE SWITCH
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things [V4]
    Computer illiterate people who think they know things [v3]
    Computer illiterate people that think they know things V2
    Computer illiterate people that think they know things.


    --

    Remember, tech illiterates ACT like they know things, but don't.

    It's fun when they actually follow their own advice on tech when they have NO clue what they're doing, like the one guy who said "My keyboard broke, so we bought a new computer because it was easier", or just general idiocy, like the one 8.5 minute rant that, in short, was "PC cost too much for gaming, spend the money on consoles and TVs because I don't want to be locked away in a room, so buy a mac. OSX MOTHAFUCKAAA"

    He actually peaced-out with "OSX." *gangsta-face*

    (I copied the OP from V6 and added a couple of bits.)
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  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    waxrock's Avatar
    October 2006
    3,162 Posts
    how disorganized...
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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    GoDong-DK's Avatar
    November 2009
    14,354 Posts
    I'm hoping you'll edit that OP, it's really much crap.
    Fastest derail in history, too. Or did the derail from last thread just continue?
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    Sir Whoopsalot's Avatar
    August 2010
    21,985 Posts
    Nope, it ended with somebody asking about x86 and x64.

    More importantly, I got last post. I feel so warm and fuzzy! :buddy:

    Also, title sucks.
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  5. Post #5
    [EG] Pepper's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,279 Posts
    how disorganized...
    Does not really help with my crappy as fuck internet and dying netbook
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  6. Post #6
    CIPWTTKT's Resident Redneckā„¢
    Dr. Deeps's Avatar
    December 2009
    7,202 Posts
    Well, school power went out, then came back on. They didn't realize the servers were down/routers and modems were off for another hour.

    ^^^first semi-content.
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  7. Post #7
    MirageKnight's Avatar
    July 2009
    775 Posts
    I'm in computer class right now.
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  8. Post #8
    Switch(config)#
    MTMod's Avatar
    October 2007
    3,684 Posts
    There's a kid who sits next to me in my CISP111 class who has an Alienware laptop. He's one of those people who sits there like a tool and puts a douchey slur on things so he sounds like he knows shit and he's some sort of legend. But guess who is barely passing an entry-level computer class? That kid.

    One time I corrected him on something he said, and he immediately disregarded me and repeated my words exactly to the guy he was talking to.

    I despise him. Greatly. I want to kill him and wear his skin as a victory.

    Edited:

    Plus his name is Wyatt. Only douchefucks and cockbags are named Wyatt
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Dr Nick's Avatar
    November 2007
    3,903 Posts
    I bet his rich douche bag parents gave him that name. And the computer.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    Sir Whoopsalot's Avatar
    August 2010
    21,985 Posts
    I bet his rich douche bag parents gave him that name. And the computer.
    Who else would've named their kid?
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  11. Post #11
    Switch(config)#
    MTMod's Avatar
    October 2007
    3,684 Posts
    Who else would've named their kid?
    Right? Those cunts.
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    codenamecueball's Avatar
    May 2009
    8,627 Posts
    shall I pull together a nice big 'H&S Chat/General Computer Illiteracy Thread'?

    Edited:

    with a GOOD op?
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    jlj1's Avatar
    May 2008
    3,632 Posts
    Sounds good
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  14. Post #14
    TheUnwantedFag's Avatar
    September 2010
    271 Posts
    So, a NOT friend of mine posted this picture on fb and I decided to check it out.

    Here are the comments:-


    *I remind you that they are talking about the computer based on SA (Sudden Attack) which I say is a ripoff of Call Of Duty and Counter Strike Source. (and the game has a goddam shitty graphic)

    Point A :- Yeah sure. 1st of all, That thing has two GTX260. A goddamm GTX460 or GTX480 can outrun that. 2nd thing, even a computer with 2gb of ram and a GTX 220 can run SA with 60FPS easily (I tried). 3rd thing, A GODDAMM GTX260 AIN'T THE BEST GRAPHIC CARD IN THE WHOLE WORLD /caps.

    Point B :- HAVE YOU SEEN THE INSIDE OF THAT CRAP? ITS BULLSHIT. You cant even open that case without having to spend 30 minutes trying to get the goddamn front cover off.


    Point C :- How is having 12GB of RAM a virus? Have you been downloading RAMs or something?

    Point D :- Stop advertising, we all know prebuilts sucks already.

    Also go to newegg.com, and try to build the whole PC with a goddam GTX460 and you can still save $300.

    Everytime I see that photo, I raged hard.

    and that FIKRI Z guy keeps on saying that I am jealous. Hahaha.


    *and I think I raged too hard.
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  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    Dr Nick's Avatar
    November 2007
    3,903 Posts
    For ricers, by ricers.
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  16. Post #16
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  17. Post #17
    Hellghast's Avatar
    July 2007
    611 Posts
    Not exactly computer illiterate but my cisco class has these three freshmen fucks who do nothing but play flash games and laugh at old memes. My cisco teacher is 6'12'' and a fucking ton. I can't wait until he finally gets fed up, walks over and fucking annihilates them. This man isn't fat, he's just fucking massive. He is well over 6 foot and has to weigh a deuce and a half.

    The day he finally snaps will be the day I relish seeing that speech impaired freshmen fuck playing cartown getting thrown a good mile or too.

    Seriously, I might be an uber-nerd but i enjoy learning the Cisco curriculum.
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  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    taipan's Avatar
    September 2005
    5,529 Posts
    For ricers, by ricers.
    Acer trying to be alienware.

    I saw these things in the store, why would annyone want to buy annything this ugly.
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  19. Post #19
    TheUnwantedFag's Avatar
    September 2010
    271 Posts
    Acer trying to be alienware.

    I saw these things in the store, why would annyone want to buy annything this ugly.
    Yeah, I find these Complex cases ugly. I like smooth, slim-look cases like the Corsair Obsidian Series and Lian Li cases.
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  20. Post #20
    Not exactly computer illiterate but my cisco class has these three freshmen fucks who do nothing but play flash games and laugh at old memes. My cisco teacher is 6'12'' and a fucking ton. I can't wait until he finally gets fed up, walks over and fucking annihilates them. This man isn't fat, he's just fucking massive. He is well over 6 foot and has to weigh a deuce and a half.

    The day he finally snaps will be the day I relish seeing that speech impaired freshmen fuck playing cartown getting thrown a good mile or too.

    Seriously, I might be an uber-nerd but i enjoy learning the Cisco curriculum.
    Six foot twelve? Wouldn't that just be seven feet? Or am I misunderstanding one of your human idioms again?

    Edited:

    Yeah, I find these Complex cases ugly. I like smooth, slim-look cases like the Corsair Obsidian Series and Lian Li cases.
    I honestly don't give a fuck about cases. My gaming desktop (which I actually rarely use) is the cheapest piece-of-crap that fits an ATX mobo. Half the CD cover flaps have snapped off, but who cares - the insides are what actually matters.
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  21. Post #21
    Gold Member
    helpiminabox's Avatar
    June 2008
    2,911 Posts
    Not exactly computer illiterate but my cisco class has these three freshmen fucks who do nothing but play flash games and laugh at old memes. My cisco teacher is 6'12'' and a fucking ton. I can't wait until he finally gets fed up, walks over and fucking annihilates them. This man isn't fat, he's just fucking massive. He is well over 6 foot and has to weigh a deuce and a half.

    The day he finally snaps will be the day I relish seeing that speech impaired freshmen fuck playing cartown getting thrown a good mile or too.

    Seriously, I might be an uber-nerd but i enjoy learning the Cisco curriculum.
    6'12''? Surely it would have been easier to say 7'?
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  22. Post #22
    TheUnwantedFag's Avatar
    September 2010
    271 Posts
    Edited:



    I honestly don't give a fuck about cases. My gaming desktop (which I actually rarely use) is the cheapest piece-of-crap that fits an ATX mobo. Half the CD cover flaps have snapped off, but who cares - the insides are what actually matters.
    And I am pretty sure they still look better than that Predator or Alienware cases.
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  23. Post #23
    Naci's Sidekick
    FlakTheMighty's Avatar
    July 2010
    7,341 Posts
    Idiot friend: I have a Windows 7 monitor
    IF: It runs Windows 7 without anything else.
    Me: Idiot
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  24. Post #24
    And I am pretty sure they still look better than that Predator or Alienware cases.
    You know what case I would actually like? A PowerMac G5 case, minus the Apple logo. Big case, plenty of airflow, actually pretty easy to work with, and the best part: it can stop bullets. I did the math one time - it should stop a .45, probably a 9mm too. Let's see your Alienware do that.
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  25. Post #25
    TheUnwantedFag's Avatar
    September 2010
    271 Posts
    You know what case I would actually like? A PowerMac G5 case, minus the Apple logo. Big case, plenty of airflow, actually pretty easy to work with, and the best part: it can stop bullets. I did the math one time - it should stop a .45, probably a 9mm too. Let's see your Alienware do that.
    I actually like that case too, simple design and not too Complex and shitty like the predator and Alienware cases. If there is any chance a company selling a similar case, I would buy it. But I'd still choose a CM 690 II over it.

    *but still, who needs bulletproof casings? Id prefer a fireproof one.
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  26. Post #26
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    6'12''? Surely it would have been easier to say 7'?
    Or grow some balls and go metrics like the rest of the world.
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  27. Post #27
    Hellghast's Avatar
    July 2007
    611 Posts
    6'12''? Surely it would have been easier to say 7'?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA
    Just a bit of humor, 6'12 and a fucking ton, 6'20 fucking killing for fun.

    Edited:

    Or grow some balls and go metrics like the rest of the world.
    Ok, roughly 2 meters killing for fun, just doesn't sound the same.
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  28. Post #28
    TheUnwantedFag's Avatar
    September 2010
    271 Posts
    Or grow some balls and go metrics like the rest of the world.
    A foot is about 30cm, so 30cm x 7foot is = 210cm?
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  29. Post #29
    Hellghast's Avatar
    July 2007
    611 Posts
    He's also had to deal with other school's bullshit as well. He is a networking god and I can safely say he knows his shit about all other areas of computers. One of the alternative schools had a couple of kids taking his course and he needed the password for their laptops to give them admin privileges so they could install the programs he needed. They refused so he flat out told them "I will get the password, I hacked it last year and I will this year, except this year I'm going to post it to every email in the district." He did hack it last year as those kids did have admin accounts.

    Stupid fucking district ITs.
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  30. Post #30
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA

    Ok, roughly 2 meters killing for fun, just doesn't sound the same.
    Sounds 6 feet 12" less retarded to me.
    A foot is about 30cm, so 30cm x 7foot is = 210cm?
    I know all of that. I just don't find it logical to go with a system that resets at 12 rather than the good old 10/100 which is metric. It's illogical, ancient and is very confusing.
    You know how long a Kilometer is? yeah, that one gives itself away. A mile, on the other hand is just a illogical mess.

    /gripe.
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  31. Post #31
    Gold Member
    HighdefGE's Avatar
    March 2009
    2,377 Posts
    Re-posting this from old thread because I'm trying to look for something new:

    HighdefGE posted:
    So this one time, I was at my local microcenter store and I was looking around the PC-build section, and there's this middle-aged couple that were standing right next to me and it went something like this:

    Woman: Well that's a lot of gigabytes there *points to a Gigabyte motherboard*

    Man: No no no, that's actually a brand for motherboards.

    Woman: Oh, those sneaky bastards.
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  32. Post #32
    {ABK}AbbySciuto's Avatar
    April 2010
    2,547 Posts
    Happened a couple years ago:

    I was attempting to fix a problem with a monitor in my high school's library (the cable was loose). Unfortunately, the cables had special security-screw things on them so that you needed a VERY specialized tool in order to tighten or loosen the cable on either end. Let me describe the problem: on occasion, the signal would be lost, the screen would flicker and wave, and the colors would go all wonky. Just looking and touching the plugs revealed they were extremely loose. It was obvious to even the somewhat computer-inept librarian that the cable was loose. This was the conversation I had with the head of the IT department:

    Me: <explains problem and how to fix>
    Him: Well, did you try restarting. (He said it exactly like that, no question in his voice)
    Me: <humors> Yes, it didn't help.
    Him: Could it be a virus?
    Me: <???> A virus doesn't cause the monitor to glitch like that.
    Him: It could.
    Me: I'm almost 98% sure it couldn't. The antivirus software would detect it; it's a good scanner.
    Him: I'll take a look at it.
    The next day he comes in and Ghosts the computer and is confused when the screen continues to have problems on the Ghost progress screen.

    Edited:

    This is the same school district that has pirated Windows XP Pro, the entire Macromedia MX 2007 suite, Microsoft Office 2007, Microsoft Office XP, most of the Autodesk programs, and Sophos Anti-Virus Corporate.

    I shit you not.
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  33. Post #33
    This is the same school district that has pirated Windows XP Pro, the entire Macromedia MX 2007 suite, Microsoft Office 2007, Microsoft Office XP, most of the Autodesk programs, and Sophos Anti-Virus Corporate.

    I shit you not.
    Report them. Last I checked, the BSA (Business Software Alliance) gave bounties for turning in corporate pirates, like businesses and schools. Yeah, it's a dick move on your part (the BSA ought to be nicknamed the "Redmond Mafia" for the shit they pull), but judging by the quality of the IT, they kinda deserve it. Plus, who doesn't want $200,000.
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  34. Post #34
    Surma's Avatar
    September 2010
    519 Posts
    Last year at my school, all our laptops were connected to the internet through cables (we got wireless this year) and this caused a mild amount of drama each time everyone was going to get a comp.
    Heres a common episode:
    Classmate: "halp, iternets not working!"
    Me: "Is the cable plugged in?"
    Classmate: "Yes!"
    Me: "In both ends?"
    Classmate: "Uuuh, no..."

    Or this:
    Classmate: "Halp, comp's beeping!"
    Me: "Is the battery indicator red?"
    Classmate: "Yes."
    Me: "Then plug in the power cable. In both ends."

    We also had a bunch of switches. Everyone called them routers! GODDAMNIT! THERES A DIFFERENCE!!!
    I actually had to explain to someone why it is a switch, beginning with arguments such as the fact that there is NOT one WAN port and n^2 number of LAN ports, ending with me pointing to the LAN switch lable on the side of it. I added how they operate on different network layers too...
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  35. Post #35
    Movie quote goes here, because...
    Dennab
    October 2008
    8,076 Posts
    We also had a bunch of switches. Everyone called them routers! GODDAMNIT! THERES A DIFFERENCE!!!
    I actually had to explain to someone why it is a switch, beginning with arguments such as the fact that there is NOT one WAN port and n^2 number of LAN ports, ending with me pointing to the LAN switch lable on the side of it. I added how they operate on different network layers too...
    Would've been close enough for me considering... you know. you should be happy they even recognize its basic function at all.
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  36. Post #36
    Gold Member
    taipan's Avatar
    September 2005
    5,529 Posts
    You know what case I would actually like? A PowerMac G5 case, minus the Apple logo. Big case, plenty of airflow, actually pretty easy to work with, and the best part: it can stop bullets. I did the math one time - it should stop a .45, probably a 9mm too. Let's see your Alienware do that.
    Its made out of 3mm thick alluminum, its not going to stop a bullet.
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  37. Post #37
    Its made out of 3mm thick alluminum, its not going to stop a bullet.
    Not a rifle bullet, certainly, but considering the .45 can be deflected by a bit of hardwood, it's not going through plate aluminum. I can't find the source I used originally, but I found photos of standard .45 rounds failing to penetrate 3mm of rusty steel. Don't forget, most of the time, rounds don't hit head-on - they're usually at an angle, so the effective thickness can be up to sqrt(2) times the actual thickness.
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  38. Post #38
    Gold Member
    GoDong-DK's Avatar
    November 2009
    14,354 Posts
    Not a rifle bullet, certainly, but considering the .45 can be deflected by a bit of hardwood, it's not going through plate aluminum. I can't find the source I used originally, but I found photos of standard .45 rounds failing to penetrate 3mm of rusty steel. Don't forget, most of the time, rounds don't hit head-on - they're usually at an angle, so the effective thickness can be up to sqrt(2) times the actual thickness.
    Steel is a little different from Aluminum.
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  39. Post #39
    Gold Member
    Ollih's Avatar
    June 2008
    4,352 Posts
    yeah bullets usually don't pierce things that you don't hit
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  40. Post #40
    I wasted a dollar on a stupid title.
    nikomo's Avatar
    September 2007
    16,614 Posts
    Don't forget, most of the time, rounds don't hit head-on - they're usually at an angle, so the effective thickness can be up to sqrt(2) times the actual thickness.
    Isn't that how they design tanks? You add protection by adding more angle and you save on weight and keep your mobility.
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