1. Post #1
    Gold Member
    Cypher_09's Avatar
    November 2005
    18,012 Posts
    I love making puns, even more so when high! Recently I've just been a stream of puns (Probably due to how my brain is working lately).

    Here are some recent examples

    Well Facepunch, I just finished my junior year of high school and for the past several months I've been dating this great girl... who happens to be a foreign exchange student. She came here from Germany last summer and has stayed the whole year. When I met her in January it wasn't long before we both knew we liked each other. So, being the foolish teenagers we are, we started a relationship with what is now feeling like an oncoming train steadily approaching in the background. Yeah, starting a relationship while temporarily in another country probably isn't the best idea but that's what we've done and we're not ready to give it up. She's going to be heading back home in about four weeks and we both know how difficult such a long distance relationship can be and the likelihood of failure, but we'll be damned if we're not going to try.

    That being said, my main goal is that I just want her experience here and her memories of these times to be nothing but the best - no matter what happens in the future. I've been showing her some of my personal favorite things and also been trying to prove that not every American is obese, ignorant, and overly patriotic. :fsmug:

    So what I was hoping for was some suggestions about things we can do together and places I should take her for her last few weeks in America. What kind of things should she have to do here before going back? Also, any helpful tips on managing a relationship with an ocean between would likely be welcomed.

    Keep in mind that I live in (Western) New York and we're both 16 years old..

    Thanks guys, I'm sure I'll think of more to add later.

    Why dont you take her out for some luftwaffles?

    I live in Japan, and my girlfriend lives in the states and it's working out fine for us. As long as you trust each other, and talk to her as much as you can you'll be fine. If it's just a fling, then fuck it there's plenty of girls out there, but if you're planning on a long term relationship, like marrying her then you'd better get her over to the states as soon as you can somehow otherwise shit's just going to fall apart

    You Tokyo time posting that...
    An Irish farmer dumbfounded by his escaping herd of cattle has discovered it was an "inside job" after installing a CCTV camera.

    Tom Grant was baffled as to why the cattle on his South Armagh farm kept ending up grazing outside each morning, despite being making sure he had securely locked them in at night.

    After reviewing the footage, it was found that Daisy the cow was letting the herd out as she had taught herself to unlock the latches on the metal gate using her tongue.

    I bet the press are milking this for all it's worth...
    What the fuck is a Dane.

    Edited:

    Danish person?

    one time

    i got really stoned

    because i said jehovah :frown:


    This thread isn't going to last, I know that. I just wanted to raise pun awareness.

    Will I regret making this thread as soon as I click submit? Probably \/

    I was correct.
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  2. Post #2
    Dildo Queen 2013
    TaniaTiger's Avatar
    September 2010
    7,038 Posts
    posted this the other day in addicts lounge so I'll put it here too.

    Charlie-
    In, reality i don't work out atall, i just power wank.

    Tania-
    do you have to switch arms then
    to keep it even
    or you'd just end up like a charger from left 4 dead 2

    Charlie-
    yes, I'm ambidextrous.

    Tania-
    that's handy
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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    Cypher_09's Avatar
    November 2005
    18,012 Posts
    I remember that

    Edited:

    perfect pun

  4. Post #4
    I WOTCH ANIEM
    Maximo13's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,346 Posts
    posted this the other day in addicts lounge so I'll put it here too.
    Wait, I remember reading that outside of FP.

    ~Professional stalker~
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  5. Post #5
    Bftony's Avatar
    January 2008
    1,130 Posts
    That bear is mesmerizing.
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  6. Post #6
    Gold Member
    Cypher_09's Avatar
    November 2005
    18,012 Posts
    Wait, I remember reading that outside of FP.

    ~Professional stalker~
    I saw it on Facebook too
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  7. Post #7
    I WOTCH ANIEM
    Maximo13's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,346 Posts
    I saw it on Facebook too
    Awright, nice.
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  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Cypher_09's Avatar
    November 2005
    18,012 Posts
    Drunk driving? I guess he dunn goofed. :frown:
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Meader's Avatar
    March 2008
    4,144 Posts
    I hate puns.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    Mr. Bleak's Avatar
    March 2011
    5,242 Posts
    I have a love/hate relationship with puns.

    Specifically, overused puns annoy me a lot. Such as "I did nazi that coming".
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    Octave's Avatar
    January 2009
    2,529 Posts
    I have a love/hate relationship with puns.

    Specifically, overused puns annoy me a lot. Such as "I did nazi that coming".
    I've never heard that one..
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  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    Cypher_09's Avatar
    November 2005
    18,012 Posts
    I've never heard that one..
    So you did actually nazi that coming?
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    Mr. Bleak's Avatar
    March 2011
    5,242 Posts
    I hate you so much right now man.
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  14. Post #14
    Gold Member
    Cypher_09's Avatar
    November 2005
    18,012 Posts
    I hate you so much right now man.
    It looks like our friendship is looking a little Bleak then. :frown:
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  15. Post #15
    Dildo Queen 2013
    TaniaTiger's Avatar
    September 2010
    7,038 Posts
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  16. Post #16
    GAYLORD
    Wikipedia Vandilisation Contest Winner
    joe588's Avatar
    June 2005
    15,430 Posts
    no pun in ten did.
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  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    Big Blue's Avatar
    December 2006
    6,507 Posts
    I have a love/hate relationship with puns.

    Specifically, overused puns annoy me a lot. Such as "I did nazi that coming".
    dunno if it's any better to you but any time someone says "not see" in a sentence i call them out on it. its usually pretty funny
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  18. Post #18
    Lenni's Avatar
    July 2010
    1,275 Posts
    This one makes me smile every time

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  19. Post #19
    Ah... tits!
    sam6420's Avatar
    August 2009
    4,535 Posts
    This one makes me smile every time

    Well isn't that funny. :)
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  20. Post #20
    Rick Ross's Avatar
    October 2009
    938 Posts
    Just the other day I asked my friend to reefer me to a good mids dealer because everything around here is dro.
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  21. Post #21
    skynrdfan3's Avatar
    June 2010
    3,996 Posts
    pun raccoon is my boi







    this one is simply genius:

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  22. Post #22
    Gold Member
    Death Giver's Avatar
    November 2008
    2,800 Posts
    i was drinking pop and the tokyo one made me spit it everywhere

  23. Post #23
    A cardboard cut-out of a man.
    Mac2468's Avatar
    March 2007
    13,601 Posts
    I hate puns.
    No one can hate puns.
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  24. Post #24
    Gold Member
    Meader's Avatar
    March 2008
    4,144 Posts
    No one can hate puns.
    I refuse to participate. I do not enjoy puns. They are the way too easy.

  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    FreakyMe's Avatar
    December 2005
    5,047 Posts
    I am a pretty punny person when out and about, but recently I have been encountering massive amounts of pun hate.

  26. Post #26
    Gold Member
    Big Blue's Avatar
    December 2006
    6,507 Posts
    The proper reaction to a pun is "ugh" so hate = love
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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Master Kief-117's Avatar
    June 2011
    481 Posts
    Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? Well he was lucky it was a soft drink.

    Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side cut off? Well, he's all right now.


    So a dolphin finishes smoking his cigarette and tosses it out. Unfortunately it catches some brush on fire and starts a forest fire. When later questioned by the police and fire marshal, his statement was, "I swear, I didn't do it on porpoise!"
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  28. Post #28
    Gold Member
    bethanygrace's Avatar
    March 2008
    3,757 Posts
    High 5!

  29. Post #29
    Dildo Queen 2013
    TaniaTiger's Avatar
    September 2010
    7,038 Posts
    My Grandad has been in intensive care for a while due to his mental health. He covered his back in margarine.. after that he went downhill pretty quickly.
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  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    rexxar's Avatar
    July 2005
    819 Posts
    On a related subject to Tania's post, my god called Oscar keeps falling over because he's wet and the kitchen floor is smooth.

    Edited:

    Oops I slipped up there.
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  31. Post #31
    DD's Neurosurgeon
    Cpn Crunch21's Avatar
    November 2009
    7,111 Posts
    This thread reminds me of a time when my friend was drunk, came back up the stairs after a leak and yelled, "Guys, i just had an epiphany. Why dont more people wear capes?!"
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  32. Post #32
    Dildo Queen 2013
    TaniaTiger's Avatar
    September 2010
    7,038 Posts
    I never believed my dad was a lollypop man.. but all the signs were there.
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  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    Poo Monst3r's Avatar
    December 2008
    1,621 Posts
    i dont even
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  34. Post #34
    kwk
    Gold Member
    kwk's Avatar
    August 2009
    2,010 Posts
    Fuck, this thread...

    oh jesus i love it
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  35. Post #35
    GAYLORD
    Wikipedia Vandilisation Contest Winner
    joe588's Avatar
    June 2005
    15,430 Posts
    no pun in ten did.
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  36. Post #36
    Gold Member
    Euphorium's Avatar
    March 2007
    2,503 Posts
    I make the worst puns ever, especially high.
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  37. Post #37
    Dildo Queen 2013
    TaniaTiger's Avatar
    September 2010
    7,038 Posts
    Camping- It's in tents!
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  38. Post #38
    InChoFace's Avatar
    July 2010
    1,126 Posts
    i was going to look for my missing watch but i never found the time
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  39. Post #39
    pakadots's Avatar
    October 2007
    538 Posts

    You callin me a cheata?


    Well i aint a lion.
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  40. Post #40
    Hap
    Test Victim #1
    Hap's Avatar
    March 2005
    1,001 Posts
    What does a rich man's son do when he doesn't have any towels?

       He heir dries   
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