1. Post #1
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    These are a couple more songs I'm working on for an upcoming demo.


    Constructive criticism appreciated for either of them. The mixing is kind of muddy, but I'm still trying to teach myself as I go along to get a more professional sound.

    Also, if you enjoy my music, feel free to subscribe to my channel or my SoundCloud (higher quality uploads will go on there.)
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  2. Post #2
    Kaburorne's Avatar
    January 2010
    995 Posts
    Tell you what, hearing real instruments makes a refreshing change from all the electronic posted here! Haven't listened to any symphonic metal in ages, so this reminded me of how awesome it can be.
    I'd disagree with you on the muddy mixing, I think it's actually very good for a bedroom production. Maybe it got a bit muddy in the 'verse' with the chuggy guitars and drums without hi-hat. But the rest sounds good. The bagpipes (?) around 2:25 were cool- maybe you should try some more folk-y metal.
    One thing that did throw me off was the horns at 2:40 onwards. They sounded way too artificial to me, like a Sega game or something
    Well, everything sounds like a regular symphonic metal song. The thing that will make it a memorable one will be when you get lyrics on it! You need a chorus for everyone to sing along to. I'd say that for an instrumental it was kind of long. And it's nice that you change the riffs around quite a bit, but when you have so many it's hard to remember any of them.

    Second song is also good, not much to say about it that I haven't for the first song.
    Also, if you get the chance some real drums would be great. Especially when you've put lots of work into the orchestration and recording real guitars, the track would definitely benefit from live drums.

    Great stuff. Get some lyrics in there and you're all set!
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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Thanks. Yeah, I'm still working on the sounds and patches for my keyboard, so things sound pretty cheesy at the moment.

    I try not to overly repetitive with music, and I tend to get bored with the same melodies and riffs so I just write more and cram them into the song but yeah I agree. The more riffs there are, the less memorable the song is...

    I agree about the drums too. I can't find any drummer that can play this type of music, so I've resorted to programming them for now.

    I appreciate the crit though. There aren't a lot of people in this section who listen to metal much in general so it's glad to see it not go completely unnoticed.

  4. Post #4
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    anything that isn't techno is good in my book lol

    Edited:

    make the snares louder, add velocity
    you need vocals
    a bit less cheesy tone for the "main" keyboard parts would be nice.
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    Yur|ko's Avatar
    November 2006
    2,666 Posts
    anything that isn't techno is good in my book lol
    justin bieber isn't techno

    my god

  6. Post #6
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    does he have any real instruments in his music?
    I don't get it

  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Justin Bieber? Yes but he doesn't play all of them, nor does he write his own music.

  8. Post #8
    Gold Member
    Croix's Avatar
    May 2008
    2,740 Posts
    does he have any real instruments in his music?
    I don't get it
    Are you one of those people who calls everything from electro house to DnB techno. Because I don't like any of them

    Edited:

    Justin Bieber? Yes but he doesn't play all of them, nor does he write his own music.
    He has actually co written a couple AFAIK

  9. Post #9
    does he have any real instruments in his music?
    I don't get it
    Discounting music because it was made on a computer is moronic.

  10. Post #10
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    Are you one of those people who calls everything from electro house to DnB techno. Because I don't like any of them

    Edited:



    He has actually co written a couple AFAIK
    yeah I do call it all techno

    Edited:

    Discounting music because it was made on a computer is moronic.
    it's about approach and attitude more than the format. a large majority of music written to be techno is shit, so it's easy to say "does it use real instruments," meaning does it even attempt to emulate them or is it just 3 octave arpeggios with a phaser effect on them on loop.

    I call it all techno because I'm lazy, but that's my problem. What's a better word for the music that is playing behind beiber's vocals? electrono-house-dub? It hardly makes a difference when the only thing defining genres is where you click your mouse or how much weed you smoked before you double clicked on FL studio

    Edited:

    it's not my fault pop music is now 80% electronic music outside of country. Techno and electronic are the same thing to me.

    Edited:

    not to say all of it sucks, but I know for a fact I do not in any way enjoy any of it with little exception.

  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Electronic music is so prevalent because it's easy to start making. All you need is a computer. And because of that, a lot of it is of a low quality.

    Edited:

    and yes, posted for shameless self-bump

  12. Post #12
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    Why the fuck are you fags talking about Justin Bieber? How is he relevant to any of this?

    Anyway, great songs man. This is just the kind of Power Metal I love. My notes:

    Yes, you really need to add some vocals or some kind of lead instrument imo. Because for being instrumentals, they sure lack melodies. These songs have great potential and the music is just awesome, but at this moment they lack something to keep the listener interested. I'm sorry, but there's no way around it. Add vocals. Add melodies wherever there aren't vocals. At the moment it just sounds unfinished, or as if it's a karaoke version. I mean, while the intro to "Renewal in the Sky" blew me away, my interest faded after not too long.. and I'm a hardcore fan of the genre. And you might want to check onto using more variation - or having more distinct parts. I haven't really checked, but it sounds like you reused the same 4-chord sequences quite generously.

    The keyboards are not too cheesy and you do not need to change them. I think they sound fantastic! Something I personally would like to hear, along with vocals, is guitar solos. Don't worry, they don't have to be insanely hard.

    But I'm not going to banter too much about the actual composition, since it's your song and you should make it the way you like it.

    Mixing is actually not that bad. This style of music is like one of the hardest there is to properly mix, because of the number of channels usually required (and you also have to combine real instruments with software which is a challenge on its own). Yes, of course, they're not perfect (especially "Fallen Heart" needs some work in the beginning), but trust me, I've heard worse come out of actual signed artists. Yeah - raise the drums a bit.

    So.. good work man. Just add some damn vocals :D ANYTHING will do... Even these garbage vocals are actually good, keep things interesting, and just adds a whole new layer to the song. They turn the snoozefest into a real Epic!


  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Thanks for the advice man. I'm just afraid of using vocals for the sake of embarrassing myself or lowering the quality of the music as a whole. These were all supposed to have vocals, but I just left them instrumental for the time being until I could figure out exactly what I was going to do. I have lyrics already written for Renewal in the Sky.

    I did repeat a lot of parts. I'm guessing vocals would alleviate it somewhat.

    And yeah, I'm not a great guitar player so pulling off shred solos would be difficult, but I can certainly replace them with keyboard solos!

    Fucking epic song by the way. I suppose I can pull off vocals like that...like you said, it's probably better to have any vocals rather than no vocals.

  14. Post #14
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    Yeah man. That video is just an example of how you don't have to be Michael Kiske or Andre Matos to pull off some cool vocals.
    Just make sure you have a good microphone though (= anything but a headset mic..) and some sort of pop filter.
    And just add some autotune, compression, and like reverb, and you'll do fine. Oh, and layers do wonders!!

    I hope you try this! It would be great to hear.

    Oh, and keyboard solos are great :) But a keyboard will never sound like a guitar!
    Just like with the vocals, you don't have to be Yngwie Malmsteen here. Solos can still be simple, yet beautiful.

    Example (3:05)
    Very simple, very easy, VERY GOOD (but again, just an example of what can be done)!

  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Actually, I forgot that I did a rough vocal draft when I was trying to figure out where the lyrics would fit.

    The quality is pretty bad and I was doing black-metal growls or something, similar to what Equilibrium does in their songs (very melodic folk metal with harsh vocals). But I don't think it fits my music very well and I was just messing around.

    I uploaded it. Listen at your own risk. lol and forgive the cheesiness of the lyrics if you can make them out.

    http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?015tge4a1vex20d

    Edited:

    And forgive the shitty mixing and processing as well.

    Yeah man. That video is just an example of how you don't have to be Michael Kiske or Andre Matos to pull off some cool vocals.
    Just make sure you have a good microphone though (= anything but a headset mic..) and some sort of pop filter.
    And just add some autotune, compression, and like reverb, and you'll do fine. Oh, and layers do wonders!!

    I hope you try this! It would be great to hear.

    Oh, and keyboard solos are great :) But a keyboard will never sound like a guitar!
    Just like with the vocals, you don't have to be Yngwie Malmsteen here. Solos can still be simple, yet beautiful.

    Example (3:05)
    Very simple, very easy, VERY GOOD (but again, just an example of what can be done)!
    I love Freedom Call. And yeah, that makes sense. I don't write extremely complex music in the first place so something like that would probably fit.
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  16. Post #16
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    Fucking awesome!!!
    Now we're talking man, good shit!!
    Imma put this on my mp3 player.

    PS. Post lyrics, pretty please ^^
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  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Renewal in the Sky Lyrics posted:
    [Verse]
    Of the paths that life have take
    A long winding road
    In the moonlight that floods the fields
    Echoing, a call to me

    Letting out, a cry in the dark
    Sorrow for, a life detached
    Storm in the heart, a burning flame
    Guide of the moon, just guide my way

    [Bridge 1]

    (spoken)This heart shall wander
    Among the shining sea

    Reflections in the water
    Reveal thyself to me

    [verse]
    Loneliness is I
    A wild heart, prepares to fly
    An uncertain path, a search for the one
    Salvation from myself

    Guide of the moonlight, show me the way
    Across the sands, fields, and ancient rocks
    Searching endlessly, waiting for fate to
    Shine its light on me

    [Chorus]
    no lyrics yet :(

    [Verse]
    Home among the sky and stars
    Yet so far out of sight
    Can't travel alone, I'm lost without
    The one to save me from myself

    So great moonlight, be my guide
    Take me far away from this blight
    A land where I have never fit
    A land, that has worn away it's pride

    [Instrumental Break]

    (spoken)The fire within, consume my burning heart
    Reborn into the sky; return to infinity

    [Solos]4:30-4:52
    (not done either)

    [Instrumental]
    Like I said, cheesy as fuck. And I'm not exactly sure what I was writing about either...but that's what I have so far

    Edited:

    Fucking awesome!!!
    Now we're talking man, good shit!!
    Imma put this on my mp3 player.

    PS. Post lyrics, pretty please ^^
    Really? I'm flattered. :3 Should I growl or do whatever I was doing in all the songs then?

  18. Post #18
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    Should I growl or do whatever I was doing in all the songs then?
    Up to you. But I can tell you that you can pull it off and it works. So if you wanna growl, then fire away.
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  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Yeah I certainly do it better than clean singing. But it still needs work

  20. Post #20
    Gold Member
    Eric95's Avatar
    January 2009
    4,850 Posts
    Yeah man. That video is just an example of how you don't have to be Michael Kiske or Andre Matos to pull off some cool vocals.
    Just make sure you have a good microphone though (= anything but a headset mic..) and some sort of pop filter.
    And just add some autotune, compression, and like reverb, and you'll do fine. Oh, and layers do wonders!!
    What the fuck man, don't encourage Auto-Tune. That's horrible.

  21. Post #21
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    Thanks for the advice man. I'm just afraid of using vocals for the sake of embarrassing myself or lowering the quality of the music as a whole. These were all supposed to have vocals, but I just left them instrumental for the time being until I could figure out exactly what I was going to do. I have lyrics already written for Renewal in the Sky.

    I did repeat a lot of parts. I'm guessing vocals would alleviate it somewhat.

    And yeah, I'm not a great guitar player so pulling off shred solos would be difficult, but I can certainly replace them with keyboard solos!

    Fucking epic song by the way. I suppose I can pull off vocals like that...like you said, it's probably better to have any vocals rather than no vocals.
    I'll sing the vocals for you!

    Just for fun. Haha. Have the keyboard play the vocals and have the lyrics ready and I'll give it a shot.. If I can't do it, I have a shitload of musician friends that are actual vocalists that could give it a shot

    Edited:

    good lyrics above, btw!
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  22. Post #22
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    What the fuck man, don't encourage Auto-Tune. That's horrible.
    Take a hike, pops..
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  23. Post #23
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    Hey Zero, I opened Renewal in FL and looked and I noticed that there are lots of "noise" down in the sub 60 Hz region. It's the source of the "mudiness" impression. I suggest you cut it off with a high-pass filter.
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  24. Post #24
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    Hey Zero, I opened Renewal in FL and looked and I noticed that there are lots of "noise" down in the sub 60 Hz region. It's the source of the "mudiness" impression. I suggest you cut it off with a high-pass filter.
    I tried it just now, I couldn't really notice a difference, but then again I don't have a very good sound system

    I'll sing the vocals for you!

    Just for fun. Haha. Have the keyboard play the vocals and have the lyrics ready and I'll give it a shot.. If I can't do it, I have a shitload of musician friends that are actual vocalists that could give it a shot

    Edited:

    good lyrics above, btw!
    That would be sweet. I'll update this soon with a vocal melody track (something obvious, like a piano perhaps?) and you can give it a try if you want.

    Edited:

    Or you could use that rough vocal take I posted up there and come up with your own melody.

  25. Post #25
    r. panda is a racist and ibuwebu is mai waifu
    Dennab
    May 2006
    12,080 Posts
    If you already have something then yeah just send it over. I do need an MP3 or whatever you have and such so I can use it in an editor.

  26. Post #26
    Rad McCool's Avatar
    August 2009
    3,883 Posts
    I tried it just now, I couldn't really notice a difference, but then again I don't have a very good sound system
    You're not doing it right :S

  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Z3r0747's Avatar
    June 2006
    784 Posts
    If you already have something then yeah just send it over. I do need an MP3 or whatever you have and such so I can use it in an editor.
    Use either one of these as you see fit.

    http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?015tge4a1vex20d
    That's the one with my "growling" lol.

    http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?19rdsfjaac8hemr
    This has a rough piano melody for the verses if you want to sing melodically.

    Hope these help. Feel free to change the lyrics a bit if you want. Keep in mind that these songs are for my own demo so I won't use anybody's work that isn't mine, but I'd still like to see what you can come up with. Could give me some ideas as well :)

    Edited:

    You're not doing it right :S
    I'm using a high-pass VST. I certainly notice the low frequencies dropping out as I move the slider higher, but not so much at 60hz.

    Edited:

    Won't be home for the rest of today and part of tomorrow...if you guys request something I probably won't get to it right away...