You're not in Kansas anymore. You're in Malatora, ladies and gentlemen. Respect that fact every second of every day. If there is a Hell, you might want to go there for some R&R after a tour in Malatora. Out there beyond those borders, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes. We have an indigenous population of cyborgs called Cytrans; they're fond of napalm that can char your flesh in under one minute, and they have bones constructed from an artificial material called duratanium. They are very hard to kill. As a forums poster, it is my job to keep you entertained. I will not succeed...not with all of you. If you wish to find this funny, you need to cultivate a strong mental attitude. You've got to obey the rules: Malatora rules.
NOTE: This thread is rated "F" for furries.
Special thanks to Mizuti and Dark Archimedes, who brought us all this bounty.
This website was posted in the PYF Internet Trainwreck thread, specifically referring to the leader of this would-be nation, Robert Lord, a.k.a. Taygon. We'll get to him later on. I'm getting ahead of myself.
What is Malatora?
In short, the FedCom nation is an anarcho-communist state off the coast of Africa, and the Cytran Project will allow its citizens to place their brains in robotic dragon bodies. They are led by a gentleman who thinks that quoting wikipedia makes him a scientific authority, a year of JROTC makes him a brilliant tactician, and who will eventually assume the form of a hermaphroditic dragon that looks like this. Allow me to elaborate:
Official FedCom Website posted:
SECTION I: FEDCOM
Where is Malatora?
Malatora is an island off the western coast of Africa. The precise location is not available to outsiders/non-citizens due to security concerns.
How are they going to establish themselves? Why, they're going to become international squatters and use lethal force against anyone who tries to remove them. It's not unethical; they're exercising their right to "self defense." Furthermore, they are justified in claiming that land because it is their "spiritual homeland"...even though no FedCom citizen has so much as laid eyes on it. gently caress national sovereignty.
What sort of government runs Malatora?
There are two main bodies of government: the Council of Leaders and the People's Assembly.
The Council of Leaders is the executive body, and is chosen on a meritocratic basis by the council. The standards and qualifiers of merit are also decided by the council.
But FedCom is a direct democracy, so they also have the People's Assembly, which votes on everything. Voting is non-compulsory, so it follows that only the educated will make decisions. For the ignorant, the beloved council is present to offer advice, as always.
Taygon, Council Member posted:
What kind of laws does Malatora have?
As stated here, social norms and customs are to be more important than silly written laws. They do have a defining document called the Code of Malatora, which enshrines these customs and morals and will be the basis for written laws later.
This is to serve as the equivalent of a constitution for the small Utopia of FedCom. How many fortune cookies Taygon had to eat in order to compile this document is still classified, unfortunately.
THE CODE OF MALATORA posted:
The great thing is, while virtually no consideration has been given to trial code and proceedings, things like dragons' inalienable right to fly have been provided for. Taygon has stated that juries have been done away with in favor of a panel of experts. Common citizens are intelligent enough to vote on every political matter, but God forbid they decide the guilt or innocence of their peers based on the customs and mores they collectively share.
The Malatoran Economy
FedCom, if you haven't noticed, is an anarcho-communist nation. They claim that they will use a gift economy. There is no private property (with exceptions according to custom). All labor is voluntary (except as assigned punitively). Everybody works because they are encouraged by custom to do so, and because they are assigned work based on what they think is fun. So it's a revolutionary new economic model--except when the government is allocating resources and mandating labor, in which case, it will just be a command economy, but they don't really talk about that much.
Oh, and I almost forgot: there will be no scarcity of anything because of the brilliant technologies they're going to develop. They'll be totally self-sustaining, and it will be economically advantageous for them to be so. Trade is for suckers.
Malatoran Defense/Foreign Relations
There's a lot of this stuff on the visitors' forum, so I won't go into much detail. Basically, however, it would be suicidal for any nation or coalition to attack Malatora.
The citadel is too deep underground for even nuclear warheads with subterranean delivery systems. They have submarines that are too stealthy to detect. Their fortress is equipped with state-of-the-art weapons systems, and with its self-sustaining biosphere, it could hold out forever. It's defended by super-powerful weapons using
Mehrunes Taygon, Prince of Destruction posted:
They may be untrained civilians, but their pluck, luck, and guerrilla tactics will give them the advantage they'd need to hold out against the entire human race, if they had to. That, and their
magic technology makes it possible. This is a recurring theme. Taygon, their chief of defense, has read a lot on Wikipedia, and he's good at paintball. He knows how to lead an army (in spite of his Asperger's).
A common past-time on their forum is masturbating to how good their cyborg dragon bodies would be at killing infantry equipped with small arms.
FedCom and the environment
FedCom has designed habitations that have zero negative impact on the environment. Excavation of an enormous structure hundreds of meters beneath the earth is pretty much like minecraft. As mentioned before, the [qurk=http://fedcom-online.webs.com/barryds.htm]arcologies[/url] are totally self-sufficient. Nosy outsiders aren't allowed to see these brilliant schematics, though.
Given that this is the driving force behind both legal action and the economy, it's worth saying a few words about it. Basically, the "culture" is whatever vague values/concepts Taygon spouts on the webpage and people agree to before joining. Social mores are definitely best when imposed from the top down. Anyway, most of this stuff is standard leftish, feel-good lines about tolerance, understanding, and patience, with a few important additions. Namely, Malatora claims to be non-species-ist. They use the mirror test for self-awareness, and anything that passes it gets "respect." They claim they will intervene militarily to prevent the killing of such animals (to a limited degree). Alternately, they will teach animals like elephants to fight back against/evade poachers. I'm not making that up.
SECTION II: THE CYTRAN PROJECT
Here it is: the moment you've all been waiting for: the key separating factor between The Federated Commonwealth of Malatora and every other communist utopia dreamt up by people who didn't pay attention in ECON 101.
Best you hear it straight from the
horse's dragon's mouth:
This is the stuff of science fiction, but I suppose it's possible within the next century or so. They believe that a small group of people, with virtually no capital, and no advanced degrees in the sciences can, while simultaneously founding, running, and quite possibly defending a small country, produce a working product within the next 20-45 years.
Multiple model classes exist including the ever-popular Dragon, the Humanoid, the Taur, and the Non-humanoid types.
Your dream of becoming a Na'vi can finally be realized! Or perhaps you'd like to become your fursona? Indeed, behold their sample image for what a "therian" humanoid could be:
No, you'd like to be a Chakat. What the gently caress is Chakat? Well, apparently it's a taur-class
possibility monstrosity that looks like this:
Living as a dragon/gryphon/velociraptor/dragonoid (NWS: dragon tits)/centaur/furry-whatever comes with additional benefits! Not only does yiffing become more convenient, you become a veritable superhero:
They ramble at length about it more often on the forums. Essentially, you're an immortal being immune to disease and chemicals who can sustain incredible shocks and abuse compared to those puny humans blah blah blah. Details about exactly how large they can make your penis are also restricted to citizens. Sorry, guys.
But Warheart, how are they gonna get the tech to make these things?
Well, it's easy! See, most of this technology exists in some form or another; they'll just put it together. If it's proprietary, well, they'll just acquire it by "whatever means necessary." Reverse-engineering can't be that hard! It's not like interfacing/adapting these discoveries will be difficult; it's pretty much like LEGO. See also: pluck, luck, and hard work.
But I thought you said nobody had an advanced science degree!
Yeah, but that doesn't matter. What matters is your ability to get results; they don't need any slips of paper. They'll just use pluck, luck, and hard work.
But even for highly-trained, extremely intelligent, motivated researchers, major breakthroughs take a long time and a lot of money!
They don't need money! They have a gift economy, and they have front companies to interface with the capitalist world! They've already made major breakthroughs and could start producing Cytran parts right now if they had a machine shop. They just can't tell you about it because you're not a citizen
SECTION III: GLORIOUS LEADER
Robert Lord is a self-declared "Aspergian."
He claims in-depth knowledge about how to assemble weapons of mass destruction.
He has a pseudonym (for when he writes fine literature about dragons): Ryan Ashkoort.
He has a dragon name: Taygon.
He will one day assume the form of a hermaphroditic dragon.
He claims to be very good at paintball, Aikido, and computer games, giving him the valuable skills necessary to run the Malatoran military.
According to Lord, he was involved in a year of JROTC, during which he managed to piss off everyone who interacted with him. He is, of course, still an invaluable leader on any battlefield due to the tactics he learned.
He is certified to operate a CAD program, and can legally append "CD" to the end of his name, which is pretty much as good as any other sort of degree.
He serves on the Malatoran Council of Leaders as both the Defense Councilor and the acting Immigration Councilor.
He was apparently the one who thought this whole thing up in the first place.
He is 27 years old.
He wrote his own wiki entry.
He has a Deviantart page (surprise, surprise).
Here is his youtube account, in case you need more videos about dragons.
This stuff is listed pretty publicly. Please don't do any stupid, creepy Internet-detective stuff to him. He seems mostly harmless.
SECTION IV: Miscellany
Are you sure this isn't a troll?
No. I've wondered quite a bit about it, but the amount of work Taygon et al. has put into this crap is colossal. The time he spent writing his scifi story about Malatora, creating the (still unfinished) website, the time he put into his forum responses, etc. This would be on the scale of Chris Chan's collective trolling, all to create a honeypot. I'm inclined to think that at least some "Malatorans" are sincere. Delusional, but sincere.
What does it take to join Malatora?
There's material on the website/forums about joining and getting access to the juicy content. If someone wanted to try getting in, that could be amusing. I don't think it's that hard if you really wanted to.
What about just posting on the forum?
You have to make an account to post on the visitor's forum, but you can read it without one. If you do browse the forum, look forward to spectacular arrogance from the insiders. They seem to think that they're already dragons, and will frequently refer to the barbarism of those primates or the flimsiness of humans. That's not to say that humans aren't brutal or flimsy, but these clowns think that they're above it all. They do claim to be the next evolutionary stage...
I want more profound dragon wisdom!
THE DRAGON'S MANTRA posted:
Show me the sources!
But of course.
FedCom website: http://fedcom-online.webs.com/index.htm
FedCom wiki page: http://micronations.eu/wiki/index.php?title=Malatora
FedCom Forums: http://s11.zetaboards.com/FedCom/index/
Taygon's Personal Page: http://taygon.webs.com/index.htm
Ryan Ashkoort's Malatora Novel: http://taygon.webs.com/books/Reborn.htm
Sundry forum threads I used for info:
TL;DR A group of social rejects led by a sperglord will take over an island off the coast of Africa, transplant their brains into robotic dragon/furry bodies, and live forever in a self-sustaining fortress capable of withstanding the entire human world's military might indefinitely. This is possible thanks to the gift economy(TM), dragon magic wishful thinking technology assimilated by luck, pluck, and hard work, and the brilliance of their glorious, Aspergian leader.
This thread was shamelessly stolen from somethingawful and I thank the original creator Warheart525 for it