[Eonart]

There should be an SCP about a walkie talkie which lets you talk into peoples minds and they can talk back by thinking

[MajorMattem]

Eonart posted:

There should be an SCP about a walkie talkie which lets you talk into peoples minds and they can talk back by thinking

GENIUS!

But its more of a gadget that the foundation agents would use.

[MasterFen007]

Perhaps it can be in the containment procedures that a possible agent tool for distribution if a reverse engineering can be performed.

[mankind_me]

Eonart posted:

There should be an SCP about a walkie talkie which lets you talk into peoples minds and they can talk back by thinking

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-285

No talking back at the same time, sadly

[geogzm]

Can somebody upload a vocaroo of them pronouncing

"Euclid"

and

"Keter"

I have no idea how to read them.

Edited:

Neat! posted:

this

Rule 34.1: If there is porn of it, it isn't scary to you anymore.

[strayebyrd]

geogzm posted:

Can somebody upload a vocaroo of them pronouncing

"Euclid"

and

"Keter"

I have no idea how to read them.

Edited:



Rule 34.1: If there is porn of it, it isn't scary to you anymore.

don't know about Keter but I'm pretty sure euclid is just 'You-klid'

[Ezhik]

If that infinite stapler produces indestructible stuff, wouldn't you just be able to lock SCP-682 in some tiny box?

[Aperture fan]

strayebyrd posted:

don't know about Keter but I'm pretty sure euclid is just 'You-klid'

I always pronounce Keter as "key-ter."

[ForgotPassword]

One of my favorite SCP has got to be those floppy discs with unlimited storage. One of them contains all the porn on the internet apparently.

[kaareod]

Aperture fan posted:

I always pronounce Keter as "key-ter."

I always imagined it being "Kay-ter", it just sounds right to me.

[geogzm]

Item#: SCP-XXX



Object Class: Safe/Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be contained within a standard safe within Dr. ███████'s office at Research Command-██. Personnel below Level 2 require temporary Level 2-XXX clearance granted from a Level 3 cleared personnel or above.

Description: SCP-XXX was recovered from an antiques shop ███████████, England on ███ the ███ 198█. SCP-XXX appears to be a vintage Underwood typewriter with loosened keys. The typewriter appears to 'sow' new paper when it detects that the user is coming close to the end of the page. When the 'sowed' paper is removed, the typewriter does not sow any more paper until it is re-inserted. Normal paper is used up as with any other typewriter. When a user types an event in to the typewriter, a sound similar to that of a dying █████████ is emitted and the said event has an estimated ██% chance of happening, and a ██% chance of the opposite happening. Test subjects were instructed to type "There is a 100% chance five dollars will appear before me."

Two test subjects, D-4021 and D-4207, were instructed to type this, one with a five dollar bill present on them and the other without any money. The subject who possessed the five dollar bill, D-4021, found the money removed from their pocket upon typing the sentence. The subject without the five dollar bill, D-4207, found that they experienced sharp pain in their █████, and upon examination of the wound created on their █████, the wound was 'carved' like a five dollar bill. Forensic analysis has shown trace amounts of an unknown acidic substance similar to ██████████████████ in seemingly random areas of the wound. SCP-XXX was also found to have a cooldown period variating from five minutes to seven weeks.
After these tests, Dr. ███████ requested that SCP-XXX be [REDACTED] and stored in her office.

Addenum: Upon further testing, it has been noted that typing events on normal paper has no effect. The 'sowed' paper has shown to be immune to the ink of other typewriters. Dr. ███████ has requested for Level █ clearance to obtain liquid ███████ in hopes of producing more 'sowed' paper to use with SCP-XXX.

Further Addenum: Attempts to eradicate SCP-682 with SCP-XXX are NOT to be made due to the chances of another 682 being produced.

Incident 001:-A D-5465 was instructed to write on the 'sown' paper whilst it was still attached to SCP-XXX. D-5465 complied. SCP-XXX's keys began to jolt around. This may be evidence that SCP-XXX is sentient.

Incident 001-B: D-5465 was instructed to write a short story about herself using SCP-XXX. She managed to write the following:

██████████████ █ ███'██████████ █'█ ███ffffffffquitnowquitnowquitnowquitnow

D-5465 claimed not to have wrote the words after ███. This was one of the incidents which lead to Dr. ███████ securing SCP-XXX in her office.

Incident 002: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Incident 003: [DATA EXPUNGED]

(My first attempt at these things, just rough and all that for now.)

[MasterFen007]

Euclid: 'You-clid',
Keter: 'Keh-ter'.

[geogzm]

I was pronouncing it 'you-slid'.

[MasterFen007]

What made you think it was pronounced like that?

[Rainhorror]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914

This one is just awesome, read all of the experiments they did with it. I especially love when they turn in to the 1:1 setting.

Basically it 'refines' things at random, pretty much. Read it.

[smeismastger]

Rainhorror posted:

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914

This one is just awesome, read all of the experiments they did with it. I especially love when they turn in to the 1:1 setting.

Basically it 'refines' things at random, pretty much. Read it.

Wouldn't that 'refined' Colt Python be able to destroy SCP-682?

[DanRatherman]

When wondering if a given SCP/Method can kill 682, just remember this simple mnemonic device!

If you think it's worth a shot,

then absolutely fucking not.

[NanoSquid]

The SCP Foundation v2: Jack Bright's Sentient Orgasm Simulator

[DChapsfield]

It seems this went totally unnoticed, so I'll post it again. I'm really looking for some feedback here, guys. Thanks.

Item#: SCP-918

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-918-1 will be contained in Site ██, in a 10m^3 Foundation Standard Strength 1 Containment/Testing Room. SCP-918-2 will remain in its initial position for testing until its next predicted movement in the year 2048.

Description: SCP-918 constitutes two entities, designated SCP-918-1 and SCP-918-2.

SCP-918-1 is a small stone and glass sphere of 70 cm diameter, filled with transparent crystals similar in size to sand. The outer shell of SCP-918-1 has its glass windows covering most of its surface, with the stone creating a frame for the glass. A thin rod of stone 30 cm in length, fixed on an axis in the direct center of the sphere, points outward, ~.01 cm from making contact with the inner walls of the sphere. It is constantly in motion through the grains, though at such low angular speed as to be undetectable by the human eye. The rod points to the exact location of SCP-918-2 at all times. Its purpose has resulted in its colloquial name, the "Indeterminate Locator."

SCP-918-2 is a similar sphere, lacking in glass on its frame. It is located 15440 ±5 km from the Earth's surface, 90.0° overhead from the closest point on the Earth's surface on the Tropic of Cancer during the winter solstice. X-ray analysis indicates the stone of the sphere is only a shell, with an impenetrable material 2.4 cm beneath the outer stone. From the surface of this material, SCP-918-2 emits a high dosage of gamma radiation. SCP-918-2 has an estimated half-life of 368,136,540 ±50 years.

Calculation of SCP-918-2's location by way of SCP-918-1's stone rod resulted in low-key space expedition on November 29, ████, launched from Pacific Site ████, which discovered SCP-918-2 on December 19 of the same year.

SCP-918-2 does not stay fixed at a point relative to the galactic center, rather rotating with the solar system i the galactic center, though it has remain fixed in place within the solar system. Regardless, further testing has proved that it has no apparent loyalty to gravity, rather staying in place by unknown means.

A radiation trail ghosted by SCP-918-2 traces a straight line away from Earth. On May 7, ████, a Foundation probe was launched from the same Pacific site to follow this radiation trail. It discovered a second termination point which lines up roughly 15500 km from the surface of Mars at its closest point of orbit, remarkably similar to the distance SCP-918-2 currently holds from the surface of Earth at winter solstice. The radiation trail continued outward, so a second probe was launched. After a 16 month expedition, a second point of termination was discovered on the radiation trail, at a similar proximity to Jupiter at closest orbital position. The levels of radiation measured at the Mars terminal and the Jupiter terminal were very close in value. The radiation trail continued off, and it is theorized that SCP-918-2 has made similar "stops" nearby the rest of the planets in the solar system. Future expeditions to Saturn are in authorization. Future expeditions are also in the authorization process to determine whether or not Mars and Jupiter hold objects similar to SCP-918-1 as well.

SCP-918's collective purpose is unknown. SCP-918-1 has been determined to serve no other purpose than to be a locator device, an interstellar compass to show SCP-918-2's position at any time. It is uncertain what purpose SCP-918-2 could have.

Addendum 918-01: After calculating the amount of radiation deposited so far in SCP-918-2's location, it will reach the same level as the Mars and Jupiter points in 36.4 ±5 years. It has been active in its current location for roughly 108.7 ±.2 years.

An extended projection of these calculations determined that, if SCP-918-2 continues its path toward the Sun, it will reach its surface in 342.2 years, provided it takes the shortest paths to Venus and Mercury. Multiple theories have been provided as to what will occur when SCP-918-2 reaches the Sun. Testing of SCP-918-2's composition is currently underway, and will end on December 21st, ████ as the Earth comes closest to SCP-918-2's location.

[Aerkhan]

So, I'm willing of doing an SCP minecraft server, yet I dont have great hardware (its low-end) and no knowledge of how to.
So, I'll look into it and maybe you guys have a server tomorrow (wont be up 24/7)

[lordoflard]

Been reading the wiki for awhile, so far my favorite SCP is 093, that thing gave me weirdass dreams for a week. "Mysterious empty city? Check! Giant humanoids crawling slowly? Check! Wait, why are they OH GOD ITS RUNNING TOWARD ME!"

[Void Skull]

My application got accepted. Fuck yeah.

[ThisGuy0]

DChapsfield posted:

It seems this went totally unnoticed, so I'll post it again. I'm really looking for some feedback here, guys. Thanks.

I like it, and I think you've got the formal style of writing you need for SCPs down pretty well. Only thing that confuses me is how the rod can follow 918-2 accurately and still move so slowly as for the movement to not be visible.

Edited:

Though the 'big list of overdone cliches' includes spherical objects so they may not like that aspect of it if you submit it.

[MightyMax]

DChapsfield posted:

It seems this went totally unnoticed, so I'll post it again. I'm really looking for some feedback here, guys. Thanks.

Can you illustrate them? I'm having a hard time imagining what they look like.

[DChapsfield]

MightyMax posted:

Can you illustrate them? I'm having a hard time imagining what they look like.

Yeah, it doesn't have to be a sphere. But the idea was a smooth, spherical glass and stone ball a little over two feet in diameter. The stone would form a three-dimensional spherical cross of sorts, holding together the glass which made up most of the surface. The stone rod in the center would be a thin cylinder, extending out toward the surface, with a fixed floating stone axis point in the center. Everywhere else inside the sphere would be filled with small glass crystals, transparent enough to see through.

[ThisGuy0]

Can anyone tell me how long it usually takes them to confirm/deny an application?

[Spycrabz]

geogzm posted:

Can somebody upload a vocaroo of them pronouncing

"Euclid"

and

"Keter"

I have no idea how to read them.

Keter is "Keh-ter", it's a Hebrew word.

Edited:

ThisGuy0 posted:

Can anyone tell me how long it usually takes them to confirm/deny an application?

Took me around a day.

[lordoflard]

Hmm, if you guys make a Site in minecraft (I'm also trying my hand at it in sp), a possible backstory could include a [DATA EXPUNGED]-Class End Of The World Scenario involving [DATA EXPUNGED] and a complete reordering of nuclear physics.

[Neat!]

Rainhorror posted:

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914

This one is just awesome, read all of the experiments they did with it. I especially love when they turn in to the 1:1 setting.

Basically it 'refines' things at random, pretty much. Read it.

couldn't you take the colt python, set it to very fine, and repeat the process as needed? If 682 lives, refine it more. should get it eventually.

[Grim Joker]

lordoflard posted:

Hmm, if you guys make a Site in minecraft (I'm also trying my hand at it in sp), a possible backstory could include a [DATA EXPUNGED]-Class End Of The World Scenario involving [DATA EXPUNGED] and a complete reordering of nuclear physics.

The backstory would probably be,

'A bunch of D-Class personnel are in charge of creating a facility underground in the province of [DATA EXPUNGED] and are tasked with containing SCPs in the area, like SCP [DATA EXPUNGED]'

[lordoflard]

I was going for an explanation as to why everything is cubes, but that works too.

[Zombii]

7:17 PM - Zombii: technically euclid is greek
7:18 PM - Remus: yeah but you know
7:18 PM - Remus: its used ine nglish
7:18 PM - Remus: euclidian geometry etc
7:18 PM - Zombii: hahah oh god i just realized
7:18 PM - Zombii: 915
7:18 PM - Zombii: is a non-euclidian geometerical object
7:18 PM - Zombii: which is euclid
7:18 PM - Zombii: do ho ho ho ho
7:18 PM - Remus: haha

[Spycrabz]

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-216

[DohEntertainmen]

Oh man, the sound of scp-216's innards are making my cat go crazy.

[Spycrabz]

http://sandbox.scp-wiki.net/remus

Done some work on the parasitic mold, what do you guys think?

[Someone4956]

Someone gimme another thing to make an SCP out of, I'm bored.

[MightyMax]

Someone4956 posted:

Someone gimme another thing to make an SCP out of, I'm bored.

A battery that never runs out of energy, and reshapes itself to fit into the object it's being crammed into, and changes voltage and amperage for said object.

[Someone4956]

S'already been done hasn't it? Besides, there's no fun in that. Gimme something vague. Like that "Cosmic Stapler"

[finbe]

Someone4956 posted:

S'already been done hasn't it? Besides, there's no fun in that. Gimme something vague. Like that "Cosmic Stapler"

A rock that can [DATA EXPUNGED].

[Someone4956]

Well then, HERE WE GO.


---------

Item #:SCP-XXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX has no specific containment procedures, but it is reccomended that personnel do not stay in contact with SCP-XXX for more than █ hours. All personnel handling SCP-XXX are to wear gloves at all times.

Description:SCP-XXX is a small blue-green stone weighing approximately 250g. Nothing about the stone seems abnormal except for the fact that if any living thing capable of producing urine stays in contact with the stone for more than █ hours, their kidneys will mutate and instead of producing a liquid, their kidneys will produce a constant stream of what are known as "kidney stones". For testing logs please see Addendum-XXX-001.

---------

Test #1

Name: Dr.Urea
Subject: D-P3N15(male)

Details: SCP-XXX was fastened to D-P3N15 to maintain constant contact for █ hours, subject ordered to drink copius amounts of water. After the appropriate amount of time the subject reported an acute pain in the groin area. Observers showed that instead of urine being produced a constant production of kidney stones is produced, testing aborted immediately. After 3 months of aforementioned test, the subject still reports that the effects of SCP-XXX are still present.


Yeah I think this is the only test we need to run, we're done here. - Dr.Urea


---------


Done.