[latin_geek]

Spycrabz posted:

Keter duty, how very clichè

It's a good cliche.

[geogzm]

Is the server down?

[Strongbad]

geogzm posted:

Is the server down?

I tried to join earlier, and it didn't work, so I'm assuming that yes, it is.

[DrMann]

Hello, Doctor Mann here, one of the admins from the SCP Foundation, and author of such SCPs as 423, 5308-J, and 774.

Someone linked me here, and I thought I'd reply to a few points made in this thread.

First off, 682. Yeah, his testing log needs some pruning. Both 682 and 914 need to have their logs trimmed every once in a while to remove the more over-the-top or retarded entries. You have to understand, anyone can edit those logs, so long as they're a member. At some point, we'll go through again and remove the more nonsensical ones. If there's no way for 682 to survive without a complete ass-pull, it shouldn't be on the testing log.

And no, we will never kill the lizard. The point of the article is to have it survive whatever we throw at it (so long as it's not a complete ass-pull). Keep in mind, the articles are all "in progress" from an in-universe standpoint (and may even be an old version). So the idea isn't necessarily that the reptile can't be killed, just that we haven't found a good method of doing so yet. A lot of ways that would probably work are also probably too difficult to be worth it. A nuke, for example, would probably kill it. On the other hand, despite what some of the articles suggest, a nuclear explosion is not something that can easily be covered up, and if it didn't work, it would probably give 682 a chance to escape (and now he's radioactive). Using SCPs can sometimes lead to more trouble than it's worth. For example, his friendship with the 079 is probably going to come and bite us in the ass one of these days.

Now, joining the site. Somewhere between half and three-quarters of applications are accepted. Most days, it's closer to three-quarters. I'm not the one who actually approves the applications (that's Bright), but I can give you a better idea of what you can say to keep your application from being ash-canned. First of all, don't post in-character, or third-person, or any of that. We're not looking at your super-duper alter-ego researcher you're planning. We're looking at you, and what you hope to accomplish on the site. Don't try to hard to impress us, either. Telling us that you're the smartest kid in your school isn't likely to make us hopeful about your involvement with the site. All we want to know is whether or not you intend to contribute. Do you plan to write some articles? Comment on them? Do you want to be able to vote on the articles, and maybe talk about what makes a good SCP? That's the sort of thing we're looking for. We're not looking for your magnum opus Warehouse 13 fic, or the awards you won in your creative writing class. We're not looking for someone who's going to have lots of wacky hi-jinx. We just want someone who will contribute.

Finally, for those who do join up, odds are, your first SCP is going to get deleted. Some people come in and just magically get the tone and the feel of the site (like Tanhony), but most take a while. Don't worry about it. Even Bright, Clef, and Gears have had articles deleted. Just be willing to listen to advice. One thing that will help is sharing it in chat or on the forum. Listen to the advice you get. Some people may be a bit acerbic, but they're criticizing your idea, not you. If someone says it's retarded, understand that they're not calling you retarded. And remember that it's only by trying and failing that we get better.

[geogzm]

DrMann posted:

Hello, Doctor Mann here, one of the admins from the SCP Foundation, and author of such SCPs as 423, 5308-J, and 774.

Someone linked me here, and I thought I'd reply to a few points made in this thread.

First off, 682. Yeah, his testing log needs some pruning. Both 682 and 914 need to have their logs trimmed every once in a while to remove the more over-the-top or retarded entries. You have to understand, anyone can edit those logs, so long as they're a member. At some point, we'll go through again and remove the more nonsensical ones. If there's no way for 682 to survive without a complete ass-pull, it shouldn't be on the testing log.

And no, we will never kill the lizard. The point of the article is to have it survive whatever we throw at it (so long as it's not a complete ass-pull). Keep in mind, the articles are all "in progress" from an in-universe standpoint (and may even be an old version). So the idea isn't necessarily that the reptile can't be killed, just that we haven't found a good method of doing so yet. A lot of ways that would probably work are also probably too difficult to be worth it. A nuke, for example, would probably kill it. On the other hand, despite what some of the articles suggest, a nuclear explosion is not something that can easily be covered up, and if it didn't work, it would probably give 682 a chance to escape (and now he's radioactive). Using SCPs can sometimes lead to more trouble than it's worth. For example, his friendship with the 079 is probably going to come and bite us in the ass one of these days.

Now, joining the site. Somewhere between half and three-quarters of applications are accepted. Most days, it's closer to three-quarters. I'm not the one who actually approves the applications (that's Bright), but I can give you a better idea of what you can say to keep your application from being ash-canned. First of all, don't post in-character, or third-person, or any of that. We're not looking at your super-duper alter-ego researcher you're planning. We're looking at you, and what you hope to accomplish on the site. Don't try to hard to impress us, either. Telling us that you're the smartest kid in your school isn't likely to make us hopeful about your involvement with the site. All we want to know is whether or not you intend to contribute. Do you plan to write some articles? Comment on them? Do you want to be able to vote on the articles, and maybe talk about what makes a good SCP? That's the sort of thing we're looking for. We're not looking for your magnum opus Warehouse 13 fic, or the awards you won in your creative writing class. We're not looking for someone who's going to have lots of wacky hi-jinx. We just want someone who will contribute.

Finally, for those who do join up, odds are, your first SCP is going to get deleted. Some people come in and just magically get the tone and the feel of the site (like Tanhony), but most take a while. Don't worry about it. Even Bright, Clef, and Gears have had articles deleted. Just be willing to listen to advice. One thing that will help is sharing it in chat or on the forum. Listen to the advice you get. Some people may be a bit acerbic, but they're criticizing your idea, not you. If someone says it's retarded, understand that they're not calling you retarded. And remember that it's only by trying and failing that we get better.

Is this good for an attempt at an SCP?

[RagerTrader]

DrMann posted:

Hello, Doctor Mann here, one of the admins from the SCP Foundation, and author of such SCPs as 423, 5308-J, and 774.

Someone linked me here, and I thought I'd reply to a few points made in this thread.

First off, 682. Yeah, his testing log needs some pruning. Both 682 and 914 need to have their logs trimmed every once in a while to remove the more over-the-top or retarded entries. You have to understand, anyone can edit those logs, so long as they're a member. At some point, we'll go through again and remove the more nonsensical ones. If there's no way for 682 to survive without a complete ass-pull, it shouldn't be on the testing log.

And no, we will never kill the lizard. The point of the article is to have it survive whatever we throw at it (so long as it's not a complete ass-pull). Keep in mind, the articles are all "in progress" from an in-universe standpoint (and may even be an old version). So the idea isn't necessarily that the reptile can't be killed, just that we haven't found a good method of doing so yet. A lot of ways that would probably work are also probably too difficult to be worth it. A nuke, for example, would probably kill it. On the other hand, despite what some of the articles suggest, a nuclear explosion is not something that can easily be covered up, and if it didn't work, it would probably give 682 a chance to escape (and now he's radioactive). Using SCPs can sometimes lead to more trouble than it's worth. For example, his friendship with the 079 is probably going to come and bite us in the ass one of these days.

Now, joining the site. Somewhere between half and three-quarters of applications are accepted. Most days, it's closer to three-quarters. I'm not the one who actually approves the applications (that's Bright), but I can give you a better idea of what you can say to keep your application from being ash-canned. First of all, don't post in-character, or third-person, or any of that. We're not looking at your super-duper alter-ego researcher you're planning. We're looking at you, and what you hope to accomplish on the site. Don't try to hard to impress us, either. Telling us that you're the smartest kid in your school isn't likely to make us hopeful about your involvement with the site. All we want to know is whether or not you intend to contribute. Do you plan to write some articles? Comment on them? Do you want to be able to vote on the articles, and maybe talk about what makes a good SCP? That's the sort of thing we're looking for. We're not looking for your magnum opus Warehouse 13 fic, or the awards you won in your creative writing class. We're not looking for someone who's going to have lots of wacky hi-jinx. We just want someone who will contribute.

Finally, for those who do join up, odds are, your first SCP is going to get deleted. Some people come in and just magically get the tone and the feel of the site (like Tanhony), but most take a while. Don't worry about it. Even Bright, Clef, and Gears have had articles deleted. Just be willing to listen to advice. One thing that will help is sharing it in chat or on the forum. Listen to the advice you get. Some people may be a bit acerbic, but they're criticizing your idea, not you. If someone says it's retarded, understand that they're not calling you retarded. And remember that it's only by trying and failing that we get better.

On the point of killing off 682, which you said won't ever happen...

Why not just launch him into the sun or something? In fact, that would be a great way to dispose of around 98% of the SCPs that cause problems.

[Cone]

RagerTrader posted:

On the point of killing off 682, which you said won't ever happen...

Why not just launch him into the sun or something? In fact, that would be a great way to dispose of around 98% of the SCPs that cause problems.

I'd imagine that wouldn't be worth the effort expended in creating the rocket. I mean, 682's annoying as fuck and if he gets out he kills a lot of people, but it probably isn't worth building a rocket good enough to get to the sun when the SCP in the next room could potentially kill him for good.

[DrMann]

Geo, my advice is to go into the chat and ask for advice on it. That's #site19 on synirc.net, and you don't have to be a wiki member to go in there. Off the top of my head, some of it seems kind of random. What do you mean it "sows" the paper? It scatters it around? Secondly, the sound of the dying whatever feels like it was just tossed in for the hell of it to make it a little creepier. Tone also seems a bit off. But that's just off the top of my head. Head into chat, get some advice there. They'll sort you out.

Rager, the sun-launcher is a -J, a joke article. Nothing is actually canon, but -Js are even less canon than other articles. Without the sun launcher, there's no easy way for the Foundation to throw things into space. Strap him onto a rocket, and he'll probably destroy the rocket before it breaks atmosphere, and will likely survive impact.

Another thing to remember is that destruction is generally the last resort for an anomalous item. An item is only considered for destruction if the Foundation feels it's either too dangerous or too expensive to keep around. Considering the resources the Foundation has at its disposal, that generally takes some doing. That's why they don't destroy 173, even though all you'd really need is a hammer and a bunch of witnesses.

[ForgotPassword]

Well theres 294 to kill 682.

One of the testing logs mention some one getting "something that can kill 682". But says no ones ever doing that again at the end of that log.

[bunnyspy1]

I probably will never submit an application because I only read the SCP's, and, I can't get any good ideas for an SCP that wouldn't be too ridiculous.

[DohEntertainmen]

Why don't they just label scp-684 scp-48? Bam, 682 ceases to exist.

[RagerTrader]

Had an idea for an SCP, wondering if there is anything like it-

A mascot of unknown origin, that can only be seen by children or those with mental deficiencies. Gradually as children become older, he becomes less noticeable, and eventually disappears from memory entirely. May be better if the mascot had a cheap looking/generally creepy design, like something from Candle Cove.

[ElectricSquid]

I've noticed there are some rather mundane SCPs, which I think is kind of nice because they serve to counterbalance the number of bizarre or absurdly destructive things. For example, the memetic toaster, or the animated Legos.

[RagerTrader]

ElectricSquid posted:

I've noticed there are some rather mundane SCPs, which I think is kind of nice because they serve to counterbalance the number of bizarre or absurdly destructive things. For example, the memetic toaster, or the animated Legos.

I love the toaster, I mean I'm so funny how people don't notice what I do to them.

[Zombii]

RagerTrader posted:

I love the toaster, I mean I'm so funny how people don't notice what I do to them.

I, toaster.

[brandonsh]

RagerTrader posted:

I love the toaster, I mean I'm so funny how people don't notice what I do to them.

You'd think people would have noticed how I do this by now, but they're totally unaware.

[NanoSquid]

DrMann posted:

Hello, Doctor Mann here, one of the admins from the SCP Foundation, and author of such SCPs as 423, 5308-J, and 774.

Someone linked me here, and I thought I'd reply to a few points made in this thread.

First off, 682. Yeah, his testing log needs some pruning. Both 682 and 914 need to have their logs trimmed every once in a while to remove the more over-the-top or retarded entries. You have to understand, anyone can edit those logs, so long as they're a member. At some point, we'll go through again and remove the more nonsensical ones. If there's no way for 682 to survive without a complete ass-pull, it shouldn't be on the testing log.

And no, we will never kill the lizard. The point of the article is to have it survive whatever we throw at it (so long as it's not a complete ass-pull). Keep in mind, the articles are all "in progress" from an in-universe standpoint (and may even be an old version). So the idea isn't necessarily that the reptile can't be killed, just that we haven't found a good method of doing so yet. A lot of ways that would probably work are also probably too difficult to be worth it. A nuke, for example, would probably kill it. On the other hand, despite what some of the articles suggest, a nuclear explosion is not something that can easily be covered up, and if it didn't work, it would probably give 682 a chance to escape (and now he's radioactive). Using SCPs can sometimes lead to more trouble than it's worth. For example, his friendship with the 079 is probably going to come and bite us in the ass one of these days.

Now, joining the site. Somewhere between half and three-quarters of applications are accepted. Most days, it's closer to three-quarters. I'm not the one who actually approves the applications (that's Bright), but I can give you a better idea of what you can say to keep your application from being ash-canned. First of all, don't post in-character, or third-person, or any of that. We're not looking at your super-duper alter-ego researcher you're planning. We're looking at you, and what you hope to accomplish on the site. Don't try to hard to impress us, either. Telling us that you're the smartest kid in your school isn't likely to make us hopeful about your involvement with the site. All we want to know is whether or not you intend to contribute. Do you plan to write some articles? Comment on them? Do you want to be able to vote on the articles, and maybe talk about what makes a good SCP? That's the sort of thing we're looking for. We're not looking for your magnum opus Warehouse 13 fic, or the awards you won in your creative writing class. We're not looking for someone who's going to have lots of wacky hi-jinx. We just want someone who will contribute.

Finally, for those who do join up, odds are, your first SCP is going to get deleted. Some people come in and just magically get the tone and the feel of the site (like Tanhony), but most take a while. Don't worry about it. Even Bright, Clef, and Gears have had articles deleted. Just be willing to listen to advice. One thing that will help is sharing it in chat or on the forum. Listen to the advice you get. Some people may be a bit acerbic, but they're criticizing your idea, not you. If someone says it's retarded, understand that they're not calling you retarded. And remember that it's only by trying and failing that we get better.

I've got a somewhat specific question. Does the foundation have hotlines at places like NASA, in case they, say, discover an SCP object in space?

[megafat]

brandonsh posted:

You'd think people would have noticed how I do this by now, but they're totally unaware.

Listen, as much as i love the attention, i would like to take an official holiday for the next two weeks and hope to take some much needed rest. You know where to contact me in case of emergency.

Also, Dr Bright, TOAST goes there, nothing else.

[salty peanut v2]

DohEntertainmen posted:

Why don't they just label scp-684 scp-48? Bam, 682 ceases to exist.

oh shit

[finbe]

NanoSquid posted:

I've got a somewhat specific question. Does the foundation have hotlines at places like NASA, in case they, say, discover an SCP object in space?

The foundation itself has no strict "canon". So if you need to write something including a hotline to nasa then do so.

[DrMann]

Finbe's got it. If you need them to have a hotline to NASA, then they have a hotline to NASA.

In my personal headcanon, they have lines of communication to most major organizations, but they're indirect. The head of NASA doesn't know about the Foundation. Nor does the President. However, the Foundation has contacts with people who can inform the President or NASA should it become necessary.

[Strongbad]

ForgotPassword posted:

Well theres 294 to kill 682.

One of the testing logs mention some one getting "something that can kill 682". But says no ones ever doing that again at the end of that log.

Because it blew the site up when they did.

[Spycrabz]

oh hey guys

[Tomo Takino]

So, "DrMann" if that is your REAL name.

Is your moustache as glorious as I have been lead to believe?

[Kolmala]

Holy shit it's Dr. Mann

[Tomo Takino]

Spycrabz posted:

oh hey guys

Aww, lucky bastard.

Im still writing my first one, but seeing as its my first I doubt it will be any good.

[Spycrabz]

Already gotten 2 downvotes, but seeing as it's my first entry it's more than likely to get shot to hell.

[KingOfScience]

Spycrabz posted:

Already gotten 2 downvotes, but seeing as it's my first entry it's more than likely to get shot to hell.

I liked it, but I'm not a site member so I can't upvote :(

[No_0ne]

I might try and apply to be a member on the weekend sometime, maybe I'll get my SCP on there.

[Someone4956]

It's that time again. You give me a suggestion, and I'll write up an SCP on the spot. GOGO

[Spycrabz]

Someone4956 posted:

It's that time again. You give me a suggestion, and I'll write up an SCP on the spot. GOGO

You're like the Infinity Ward of SCP writing.

Sentient gaming console.

[Cone]

Someone4956 posted:

It's that time again. You give me a suggestion, and I'll write up an SCP on the spot. GOGO

Hobby knife

Pair of Glacier sunglasses

iPod

Flashlight.

[Neat!]

Its an old computer screen that is not plugged into anything other than a keyboard.
Any question can be typed on the keyboard and the screen will tell the answer to the question, no matter how hard it is. (will revise this bit)

The effects of SCP-XXX on the reader vary depending on the question. For example, asking SCP-XXX "Where is New York", results in {40° 30′ "N} , {45° 1′ N}......{71° 51′ W} , {79° 46′ W"}. The odd use of brackets, commas, and periods have yet to be explained. Dr. blackman believes this may be an indicator of sentience, as it seems SCP-XXX is attempting to make the answer as clear as possible. No side-effects are observed when questions like this are answered.

However, if you ask SCP-XXX about metaphysical concepts, opinions pertaining to mathematical formulas (i.e., "What is your opinion on y=mx+b?"), references to any supposedly omnipotent entity (if the entity has been imagined by the questioner on the spot for use in an experiment regarding SCP-XXX, with the traits of said entity kept only to the questioner's imagination), or ask about any concept pertaining to existentialism, the reader of the corresponding answer (the answer being known as SCP-XXX-1) obsessive compulsive, and prone to seeking out any three-dimensional cube with at least two sides being squares.

*more words go here*

Upon acquiring these shapes, the reader (now christened SCP-XXX-2) has been observed placing said shapes in a grid-like pattern in the area of containment. The attitude of the grid has so far been divorced from the attitude of the area of the containment (The grid seems to be in accordance to Earth's magnetosphere).

*elaboration will go here*

The reader will gradually cease communication with the outside world, excluding monotone "grinding" noises similar to that of a hard drive or a floppy disk. The noises seem to have patterns, yet it is unknown whether or not this is communication. Testing SCP-XXX-2 for remnants of personality and intelligence is underway.
Because of the infectious answers, few logs can be kept from the discussions with the machine, meaning that only some of the answers it gives will be of any use.

Will work on it later, must play vidya

[Someone4956]

Item #: SCP-XXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be kept in the staff break room of Site-19.


Details: SCP-XXX is a video game console of indeterminate origins. The appearance of the main console and its controllers are determined by what type of game is put in the console (IE: Xbox360, PS3, and such). When a game is put into the console and it is hooked up to a television set, and the console turned on, a male is voice is said to be heard. It is reported that this voice is the artificial intelligence of the console itself, it seems to call itself Reese. Said AI seems to have complete knowledge of all video games played on its system, and it gives players insight and tips on the game they are playing. It also seems to have a sense of humor, making light jokes about sub-par playing, immediately afterwards giving said player tips to correct playing. It is also possible to play against the AI, nobody has ever successfully beaten it. Please see Addendum-XXX-001 for test logs.

SCP-XXX was discovered at an arcade that was advertising a "Universal Console". An agent quickly administered Class-1 amnesiacs to everyone present and obtained the console.

---------

Test #1

Name:Dr.Nin Tendo
Subject(In this case, it shall be the name of the game): Soul Calibur 4-PS2

Details: Dr.Tendo proceeded to insert the game disc into the disc slot. Said console proceeded to take on the appearance of a Playstation 2 videogame console. Dr.Tendo then proceeded to start the game, a male voice was heard identifying itself as Reese. Reese then proceeded to give gameplay suggestions to Dr.Tendo. Dr.Tendo noted that all information given y Reese was effective and 100% true.


I think I like this guy. - Dr.Tendo

---

Test #2
Name: Dr.Nin Tento
Subject: Soul Calibur 4

Details: Once again as the previous test, Dr.Tendo proceeded to navigate to the game's main menu. Dr.Tendo then proceeded to offer to play against Reese, which the AI immediately accepted. After 3 minutes of toying with Dr.Tendo, Reese proceeded to incredibly and uttery beat Dr.Tendo at every subsequent game put in the console.


*grunt* Well of course he'd be good at video games, he's a computer. - Dr.Tendo


---------




TA DA

[Spycrabz]

Test #3
Name: Dr. Nin Tendo
Subject: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Jesus christ, never again. -Dr. Tendo

[Someone4956]

Ha ha, oh wow. That's a good one.

[Cone]

Someone4956 posted:

- Not Bad Snip -

Give me that fucker and a game of Space Marine, plus some Chilli Heatwave Doritos and some Bundaburg ginger beer.

I will show it what these fleshy paws can do behind a controller.

[megafat]

Test #4
Name: Dr. Nin Tendo
Subject: RapeLay
Details: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Dr. Tendo is to be put under psychiatric care. Whoever thought this was a good idea knowing Dr. Tendo's lack of knowledge on such a game should be looked at immediately - Dr. [REDACTED]

[pyschomc]

Shouldn't SCP-073 and SCP-076 Should be Switced?. I mean "cain" is supposed to the be the murderous one and not "able"

Edited:

I was kind of bothered by it..

[LF9000]

cain was made "immortal" in the bible, or at least unable to be harmed.


SCP's able I guess is the resurrected able from the bible, and he's really angry at cain for killing him, hence his crazy superhuman abilities