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Post #1
So. It's Columbus Day here in America. This celebrates some guy who "discovered" the New World. (SPOILER: He didn't discover it. I mean not really.)
But you know what I think about Christopher Columbus?
Fuck him, thats what I think.
"But Silentjubjub, he discovered the Americas! How could you say that about him?!"
No he didn't. You may think he did but NOPE. Sure, he "discovered" the Americas for the Europeans. However, he wasn't even the first to know about it. That's right. Indians who crossed over from India over the Bering Sea Land Bridge knew about the Americas thousands of years before Columbus. This is common knowledge, yet we still hail him as the discoverer of the Americas. FOR THE ~WHITE FOLK~.
Which brings me to my point about how this holiday is biased as fuck.
Who was Christopher Columbus? - Some white guy.
Who sent him to the West Indies? - Some white people.
Who was America claimed for? - White people.
Who were fucked in the ass at this point? - Indians.
Who created a holiday dedicated to Chris? - White people.
Who celebrates the holiday? - Uneducated people. (Some schools let their students break for this shit. WHY?)
HMMMM.
"Hey SilentAssHole, nobody cares what race devised this wondrous holiday."
I'm trying to prove a point here. Calm down.
That shit up there wasn't even the MEAT of my argument. OH NO.
Let us take a look at how Mr. Columbus treated the Indians.
OK
Chris comes over, Indians give him free shit right off the bat. He LOVES this and praises them and their well-built bodies that would just make ADORABLE SLAVES.
- Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him
Oh hey, GOLD. Chris LOVES gold. Hey Indians, LET HIM HAVE SOME AND HE WON'T CUT OFF YOUR HANDS. Ata boy.
- Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him
Oh let us reminisce on the countless murders that took place under Chris. Oh GLORIOUS GENOCIDE.
-Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him
Christopher Columbus is totally deserving of having a holiday named after him in a country that is the biggest melting pot of cultural identity in the world.
I wholeheartedly welcome this holiday with open arms and PRAISE THE LORD for slavery, severed limbs, and genocide. Wonderful.
If you thought I was serious about the last bit you can go fuck yourself.
I expect an opposing side due to the silliness of Facepunch. So go ahead.
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I highly doubt Columbus did half of what you said
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Ok. You just proved a point. Thanks.
Edited:
They don't teach this shit. That's why.
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Provide me with some citations then I'll believe you.
I just feel you're getting the colonists mixed up with Columbus
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Just a sec.
Edited:
I have some articles to bolster this.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-k..._b_742708.html
That explains quite a bit.
As for the gold thing:
Source
Edited:
Like, I know that it was acceptable back then to do those horrible things. However, I don't see why the hell we have this holiday in this day and age. :\
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AUTISMAL FEDORA WEARING MASSIVE RUNNING JOKE - PRAY CROHN'S DISEASE KILLS ME
July 2010
17,345 Posts
Columbus was just another human. If he perished on his voyage or some shit another explorer would come along and take his place and history would progress as normal.
For example John Cabot. Instead we'd be all "Cabot day" "Fuck Cabot day" and places called Columbia would instead be called Cabotia.
You also seem extremely angry about him and the arrival of Europeans in the New world. Discovery of the New World was inevitable anyways.
You had English and Norwegians who trawled the coasts of Newfoundland and Greenland for decades before Columbus set sail, and pressure by the Ottoman empire forced Europeans to find new trade routes.
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Look at your little country flag. Without Columbus it wouldn't be there. Be grateful our Queen decided to sell her jewels to fund Columbus' voyage.
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No, I'd be a native American kid instead. The flag would probably be a heck of a lot more badass, as would the name.
Edited:
Well the name would make sense anyway...
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It wouldn't be him posting though, would it?
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Somebody else would have done it.
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The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars.
August 2008
11,798 Posts
The first white guy to discover America was FYI Leiv Eriksson.
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I just think we should get rid of the holiday. :\
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It would be his spirit, just placed into a different body since history would be different.
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Happy Lief Eriksson Day.
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The only thing I dislike about this particular Columbus Day is that the banks are all closed so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get a car loan :(
Otherwise, I honestly don't see why there's even a reason to "debate" about this day because it's not like anybody actually celebrates it to condone slavery or the inevitable slaughter of native americans from the Europeans-people just appreciate not having to go to work today. It's not a big deal.
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Yerga hinger dinger!
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Here in California we don't celebrate Columbus Day. Though I wouldn't mind a day off, I don't really care.
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AUTISMAL FEDORA WEARING MASSIVE RUNNING JOKE - PRAY CROHN'S DISEASE KILLS ME
July 2010
17,345 Posts
Also its a fallacy that the natives were a peaceful utopian people. They still practised in the art of war like other humans in history, and sometimes practised a bit of cannibalism for defeated warriors.
While the stories of cruelty are true, do not discount the fact that native peoples can be just as vicious and bloodthirsty.
Many, many, many explorers have learned this the hard way.
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Yes but we are celebrating someone who partook in such activities.
Honestly, I find it a big deal and don't think the holiday should exist. That's all and there's not much more I can say. :C
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The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars.
August 2008
11,798 Posts
Silly you. You don't know Norwegian whatsoever.
It's Hångæ Dænger Fjørgen.
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The Indians that Columbus encountered (The Arawak or something) prided themselves in hospitality and sharing.
Explain to me how these Indians were deserving of what came to them. :allears:
Edited:
I understand that not all Indians are like this but let's keep it to the affected ones and the one's I am arguing for please.
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They killed all his men at La Navidad because they were raping the women.
Edited:
And yeah, Indochinese, Vikings, Asians, they were all here first. Columbus was late to the party by a thousand years or so.
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AUTISMAL FEDORA WEARING MASSIVE RUNNING JOKE - PRAY CROHN'S DISEASE KILLS ME
July 2010
17,345 Posts
What Columbus did however, was he kick started the age of exploration and colonisation as suddenly it became a much more attractive prospect to sail overseas to exotic new lands.
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Fuck Columbus, i'll choose Leif Eiríksson over Columbus any day, seeing as he probably was the man who actually discovered America.
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I get a day off from school so THANK YOU CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS YOU ROCK!
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Well yeah. Which is why he's seen as an important figure. If he had gone and came back without telling anyone then he would have faded away into history like the other people that went to the Americas without doing much major colonizing.
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Kicked off? Hardly.
The Age of Exploration and Colonization was in full swing by the time Columbus reached the Americas, if anyone deserves credit it's Henry the Navigator.
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AUTISMAL FEDORA WEARING MASSIVE RUNNING JOKE - PRAY CROHN'S DISEASE KILLS ME
July 2010
17,345 Posts
He does deserve credit, but Columbus was the fellow who encouraged Spain to invest heavily in the New World. It was a productive enterprise as half a century later Spain was a powerful empire, having only several decades before not even existing as a single entity under one monarch.
Granted there was colonialisation and exploration beforehand. (Portugal began with Ceutia in the early 15th century) However the Spanish were the first to really profit from it and as a result the other countries of Europe all wanted a piece of the pie and began to send out explorers and traders in a relentless search for gold.
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A kind of agree with OP, but you know, after all its not only about discovery of America, but rather about the start of populating (and, yeah, enslaving) the new world. Yet, it was a big leap and change in the history of mankind. And you've got to remember, those times were different.
So, basically I'm too lazy to write down myself rather properly, but my point is, that indeed, He did not deserve a holiday named after him. But still, he did deserve mention.
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We don't celebrate it my school just has an in service day so we don't have to go to school.
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OP is probably black/Indian/Hispanic.
Anyways, yes everything you said was true. Columbus enslaved the Native Americans to work on Spanish plantations. He pushed his crew to the extreme and was generally really shitty at everything. He was never convinced that the Americas were not in fact Asia. He completely over-estimated the length of time to circumnavigate the globe by nearly a month, sucked at managing Spain's colonies, and was generally stupid even by their time's standards.
That's why no one celebrates Columbus Day anymore. Seriously? Was this new news? I thought everyone in American by now had agreed Columbus sucked and didn't deserve a holiday.
Also, Columbus wasn't even the first white man to find the America. No, that would be the viking Lief Erikson, who you never even mentioned in your OP.
Oh yeah, the OP. I was getting to this. Tell me, why in the holy hell does it matter if he was white or not. Why does it matter if the holiday supporters were white? Racism works both ways, dickhead. The racist label isn't just strictly confined to white people making fun of other races. So stop going all "White man evil he kill indian peoplez so he suck now and should feel bad James Cameron Avatar Dances with Wolves who-ha-ha." I'm tired of people trying to put down the white man just because his ancestor was an ass. Why the fuck should I have to feel bad and pay reparations for something I never even did?
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Columbus was a faggot and doesn't deserve his own day.
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Why should you personally have to pay reparations? I don't think you should, but look at it realistically. We started out like this:
And of course we were colonists, but natives still had some land that wasn't being ruled over by the French or Spanish.
Then Spain starts taking up more land, specifically in Western North America.
And here we are today:
All in all imperial nations completely fucked the natives, and if anyone's going to be paying reparations it should be Spain, France, Britain, and the US government, especially after that nonsense known as Manifest Destiny and the Trail of Tears.
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Columbus didnt discover America, Vikings did, so I see no point in celebrating.
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He was nothing more than a drunk who needed money badly. No one else was really willing to make that exploration at that point in time. Plus he choked to death in a hotel room on his own vomit, true american hero.
Edited:
This is very true, but he 'discovered' it for the new world.
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no way the dude deserves his own holiday, it's just an excuse for shopping and stuff
plus I had to march in that fucking parade, it's a real bitch
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Technically the native Indians did before the vikings.
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Wow, Columbus sounds like an old, washed-up rock singer.
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I remember the Sopranos episode about this.
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Vikings discovered America.
Edited:
I don't get your whole spiel about Native Americans being here first meaning that European contact with America isn't a big deal though.
Edited:
Columbus Day is just a minor holiday no matter what. I don't even get college off for it. No one really cares if it's Columbus Day, people just like days off. Rename it to Discovery Day or some shit, won't even matter.
