1. Post #1
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    So. It's Columbus Day here in America. This celebrates some guy who "discovered" the New World. (SPOILER: He didn't discover it. I mean not really.)

    But you know what I think about Christopher Columbus?
    [h2]Fuck him, thats what I think.[/h2]
    "But Silentjubjub, he discovered the Americas! How could you say that about him?!"

    No he didn't. You may think he did but NOPE. Sure, he "discovered" the Americas for the Europeans. However, he wasn't even the first to know about it. That's right. Indians who crossed over from India over the Bering Sea Land Bridge knew about the Americas thousands of years before Columbus. This is common knowledge, yet we still hail him as the discoverer of the Americas. FOR THE ~WHITE FOLK~.

    Which brings me to my point about how this holiday is biased as fuck.

    Who was Christopher Columbus? - Some white guy.
    Who sent him to the West Indies? - Some white people.
    Who was America claimed for? - White people.
    Who were fucked in the ass at this point? - Indians.
    Who created a holiday dedicated to Chris? - White people.
    Who celebrates the holiday? - Uneducated people. (Some schools let their students break for this shit. WHY?)

    HMMMM.

    "Hey SilentAssHole, nobody cares what race devised this wondrous holiday."
    I'm trying to prove a point here. Calm down.

    That shit up there wasn't even the MEAT of my argument. OH NO.

    Let us take a look at how Mr. Columbus treated the Indians.

    OK

    Chris comes over, Indians give him free shit right off the bat. He LOVES this and praises them and their well-built bodies that would just make ADORABLE SLAVES.
    - Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him

    Oh hey, GOLD. Chris LOVES gold. Hey Indians, LET HIM HAVE SOME AND HE WON'T CUT OFF YOUR HANDS. Ata boy.
    - Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him

    Oh let us reminisce on the countless murders that took place under Chris. Oh GLORIOUS GENOCIDE.
    -Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him

    Christopher Columbus is totally deserving of having a holiday named after him in a country that is the biggest melting pot of cultural identity in the world.
    I wholeheartedly welcome this holiday with open arms and PRAISE THE LORD for slavery, severed limbs, and genocide. Wonderful.

       If you thought I was serious about the last bit you can go fuck yourself.   


    I expect an opposing side due to the silliness of Facepunch. So go ahead.

  2. Post #2
    Gold Member
    carcarcargo's Avatar
    October 2007
    15,087 Posts
    I highly doubt Columbus did half of what you said

  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    I highly doubt Columbus did half of what you said
    Ok. You just proved a point. Thanks.

    Edited:

    They don't teach this shit. That's why.

  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    carcarcargo's Avatar
    October 2007
    15,087 Posts
    Ok. You just proved a point. Thanks.

    Edited:

    They don't teach this shit. That's why.
    Provide me with some citations then I'll believe you.

    I just feel you're getting the colonists mixed up with Columbus

  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    Provide me with some citations then I'll believe you.

    I just feel you're getting the colonists mixed up with Columbus
    Just a sec.

    Edited:

    I have some articles to bolster this.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-k..._b_742708.html
    That explains quite a bit.

    As for the gold thing:

    ...they ordered all persons fourteen years or older to collect a certain quantity of gold every three months. When they brought it, they were given copper tokens to hang around their necks. Indians found without a copper token had their hands cut off and bled to death.
    Source

    Edited:

    Like, I know that it was acceptable back then to do those horrible things. However, I don't see why the hell we have this holiday in this day and age. :\

  6. Post #6
    Proudly supporting the JIDF
    Dennab
    July 2010
    22,111 Posts
    Columbus was just another human. If he perished on his voyage or some shit another explorer would come along and take his place and history would progress as normal.

    For example John Cabot. Instead we'd be all "Cabot day" "Fuck Cabot day" and places called Columbia would instead be called Cabotia.

    You also seem extremely angry about him and the arrival of Europeans in the New world. Discovery of the New World was inevitable anyways.

    You had English and Norwegians who trawled the coasts of Newfoundland and Greenland for decades before Columbus set sail, and pressure by the Ottoman empire forced Europeans to find new trade routes.

  7. Post #7
    I WOTCH ANIEM
    Maximo13's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,080 Posts
    So. It's Columbus Day here in America. This celebrates some guy who "discovered" the New World.
    Look at your little country flag. Without Columbus it wouldn't be there. Be grateful our Queen decided to sell her jewels to fund Columbus' voyage.

  8. Post #8
    Titlepocalypse 2012 participant
    Zedicus Mann's Avatar
    November 2010
    7,940 Posts
    Look at your little country flag. Without Columbus it wouldn't be there. Be grateful our Queen decided to sell her jewels to fund Columbus' voyage.
    No, I'd be a native American kid instead. The flag would probably be a heck of a lot more badass, as would the name.

    Edited:

    Well the name would make sense anyway...

  9. Post #9
    I WOTCH ANIEM
    Maximo13's Avatar
    October 2008
    8,080 Posts
    No, I'd be a native American kid instead. The flag would probably be a heck of a lot more badass, as would the name.

    Edited:

    Well the name would make sense anyway...
    It wouldn't be him posting though, would it?

  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    Look at your little country flag. Without Columbus it wouldn't be there. Be grateful our Queen decided to sell her jewels to fund Columbus' voyage.
    Somebody else would have done it.

  11. Post #11
    The first white guy to discover America was FYI Leiv Eriksson.

  12. Post #12
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    I just think we should get rid of the holiday. :\

  13. Post #13
    Titlepocalypse 2012 participant
    Zedicus Mann's Avatar
    November 2010
    7,940 Posts
    It wouldn't be him posting though, would it?
    It would be his spirit, just placed into a different body since history would be different.

  14. Post #14
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    The first white guy to discover America was FYI Leiv Eriksson.
    Happy Lief Eriksson Day.

  15. Post #15
    Gold Member
    Jim_Riley's Avatar
    February 2006
    1,542 Posts
    The only thing I dislike about this particular Columbus Day is that the banks are all closed so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get a car loan :(

    Otherwise, I honestly don't see why there's even a reason to "debate" about this day because it's not like anybody actually celebrates it to condone slavery or the inevitable slaughter of native americans from the Europeans-people just appreciate not having to go to work today. It's not a big deal.

  16. Post #16
    Titlepocalypse 2012 participant
    Zedicus Mann's Avatar
    November 2010
    7,940 Posts
    The first white guy to discover America was FYI Leiv Eriksson.
    Yerga hinger dinger!

  17. Post #17
    Gold Member
    -Chief-'s Avatar
    August 2007
    3,646 Posts
    Here in California we don't celebrate Columbus Day. Though I wouldn't mind a day off, I don't really care.

  18. Post #18
    Proudly supporting the JIDF
    Dennab
    July 2010
    22,111 Posts
    Chris comes over, Indians give him free shit right off the bat. He LOVES this and praises them and their well-built bodies that would just make ADORABLE SLAVES.
    - Totally deserving of having a holiday named after him
    Also its a fallacy that the natives were a peaceful utopian people. They still practised in the art of war like other humans in history, and sometimes practised a bit of cannibalism for defeated warriors.

    While the stories of cruelty are true, do not discount the fact that native peoples can be just as vicious and bloodthirsty.

    Many, many, many explorers have learned this the hard way.

  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    Otherwise, I honestly don't see why there's even a reason to "debate" about this day because it's not like anybody actually celebrates it to condone slavery or the inevitable slaughter of native americans from the Europeans-people just appreciate not having to go to work today. It's not a big deal.
    Yes but we are celebrating someone who partook in such activities.

    Honestly, I find it a big deal and don't think the holiday should exist. That's all and there's not much more I can say. :C

  20. Post #20
    Yerga hinger dinger!
    Silly you. You don't know Norwegian whatsoever.
    It's Hångæ Dænger Fjørgen.

  21. Post #21
    Gold Member
    silentjubjub's Avatar
    October 2007
    7,459 Posts
    Also its a fallacy that the natives were a peaceful utopian people. They still practised in the art of war like other humans in history, and sometimes practised a bit of cannibalism for defeated warriors.

    While the stories of cruelty are true, do not discount the fact that native peoples can be just as vicious and bloodthirsty.

    Many, many, many explorers have learned this the hard way.
    The Indians that Columbus encountered (The Arawak or something) prided themselves in hospitality and sharing.

    Explain to me how these Indians were deserving of what came to them. :allears:

    Edited:

    I understand that not all Indians are like this but let's keep it to the affected ones and the one's I am arguing for please.

  22. Post #22
    OvB
    Facepunch resident scientist
    OvB's Avatar
    March 2007
    13,092 Posts
    Also its a fallacy that the natives were a peaceful utopian people. They still practised in the art of war like other humans in history, and sometimes practised a bit of cannibalism for defeated warriors.

    While the stories of cruelty are true, do not discount the fact that native peoples can be just as vicious and bloodthirsty.

    Many, many, many explorers have learned this the hard way.
    They killed all his men at La Navidad because they were raping the women.

    Edited:

    And yeah, Indochinese, Vikings, Asians, they were all here first. Columbus was late to the party by a thousand years or so.

  23. Post #23
    Proudly supporting the JIDF
    Dennab
    July 2010
    22,111 Posts
    They killed all his men at La Navidad because they were raping the women.

    Edited:

    And yeah, Indochinese, Vikings, Asians, they were all here first. Columbus was late to the party by a thousand years or so.
    What Columbus did however, was he kick started the age of exploration and colonisation as suddenly it became a much more attractive prospect to sail overseas to exotic new lands.

  24. Post #24
    Hoboharry's Avatar
    January 2010
    6,544 Posts
    Fuck Columbus, i'll choose Leif Eiríksson over Columbus any day, seeing as he probably was the man who actually discovered America.

  25. Post #25
    Face Melter's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,015 Posts
    I get a day off from school so THANK YOU CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS YOU ROCK!

  26. Post #26
    OvB
    Facepunch resident scientist
    OvB's Avatar
    March 2007
    13,092 Posts
    What Columbus did however, was he kick started the age of exploration and colonisation as suddenly it became a much more attractive prospect to sail overseas to exotic new lands.
    Well yeah. Which is why he's seen as an important figure. If he had gone and came back without telling anyone then he would have faded away into history like the other people that went to the Americas without doing much major colonizing.

  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Billiam's Avatar
    July 2008
    7,687 Posts
    What Columbus did however, was he kick started the age of exploration and colonisation as suddenly it became a much more attractive prospect to sail overseas to exotic new lands.
    Kicked off? Hardly.

    The Age of Exploration and Colonization was in full swing by the time Columbus reached the Americas, if anyone deserves credit it's Henry the Navigator.

  28. Post #28
    Proudly supporting the JIDF
    Dennab
    July 2010
    22,111 Posts
    Kicked off? Hardly.

    The Age of Exploration and Colonization was in full swing by the time Columbus reached the Americas, if anyone deserves credit it's Henry the Navigator.
    He does deserve credit, but Columbus was the fellow who encouraged Spain to invest heavily in the New World. It was a productive enterprise as half a century later Spain was a powerful empire, having only several decades before not even existing as a single entity under one monarch.

    Granted there was colonialisation and exploration beforehand. (Portugal began with Ceutia in the early 15th century) However the Spanish were the first to really profit from it and as a result the other countries of Europe all wanted a piece of the pie and began to send out explorers and traders in a relentless search for gold.

  29. Post #29
    Gold Member
    proch's Avatar
    July 2009
    18,704 Posts
    A kind of agree with OP, but you know, after all its not only about discovery of America, but rather about the start of populating (and, yeah, enslaving) the new world. Yet, it was a big leap and change in the history of mankind. And you've got to remember, those times were different.

    So, basically I'm too lazy to write down myself rather properly, but my point is, that indeed, He did not deserve a holiday named after him. But still, he did deserve mention.

  30. Post #30
    cdr248's Avatar
    August 2009
    9,504 Posts
    We don't celebrate it my school just has an in service day so we don't have to go to school.

  31. Post #31
    Gold Member
    BananaFoam's Avatar
    January 2010
    4,870 Posts
    OP is probably black/Indian/Hispanic.

    Anyways, yes everything you said was true. Columbus enslaved the Native Americans to work on Spanish plantations. He pushed his crew to the extreme and was generally really shitty at everything. He was never convinced that the Americas were not in fact Asia. He completely over-estimated the length of time to circumnavigate the globe by nearly a month, sucked at managing Spain's colonies, and was generally stupid even by their time's standards.

    That's why no one celebrates Columbus Day anymore. Seriously? Was this new news? I thought everyone in American by now had agreed Columbus sucked and didn't deserve a holiday.

    Also, Columbus wasn't even the first white man to find the America. No, that would be the viking Lief Erikson, who you never even mentioned in your OP.

    Oh yeah, the OP. I was getting to this. Tell me, why in the holy hell does it matter if he was white or not. Why does it matter if the holiday supporters were white? Racism works both ways, dickhead. The racist label isn't just strictly confined to white people making fun of other races. So stop going all "White man evil he kill indian peoplez so he suck now and should feel bad James Cameron Avatar Dances with Wolves who-ha-ha." I'm tired of people trying to put down the white man just because his ancestor was an ass. Why the fuck should I have to feel bad and pay reparations for something I never even did?

  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    redBadger's Avatar
    November 2008
    14,871 Posts
    Columbus was a faggot and doesn't deserve his own day.

  33. Post #33
    MEGA SENPAI KAWAII UGUU~~ =^_^=
    Megafan's Avatar
    September 2008
    14,608 Posts
    OP is probably black/Indian/Hispanic.

    Anyways, yes everything you said was true. Columbus enslaved the Native Americans to work on Spanish plantations. He pushed his crew to the extreme and was generally really shitty at everything. He was never convinced that the Americas were not in fact Asia. He completely over-estimated the length of time to circumnavigate the globe by nearly a month, sucked at managing Spain's colonies, and was generally stupid even by their time's standards.

    That's why no one celebrates Columbus Day anymore. Seriously? Was this new news? I thought everyone in American by now had agreed Columbus sucked and didn't deserve a holiday.

    Also, Columbus wasn't even the first white man to find the America. No, that would be the viking Lief Erikson, who you never even mentioned in your OP.

    Oh yeah, the OP. I was getting to this. Tell me, why in the holy hell does it matter if he was white or not. Why does it matter if the holiday supporters were white? Racism works both ways, dickhead. The racist label isn't just strictly confined to white people making fun of other races. So stop going all "White man evil he kill indian peoplez so he suck now and should feel bad James Cameron Avatar Dances with Wolves who-ha-ha." I'm tired of people trying to put down the white man just because his ancestor was an ass. Why the fuck should I have to feel bad and pay reparations for something I never even did?
    Why should you personally have to pay reparations? I don't think you should, but look at it realistically. We started out like this:

    And of course we were colonists, but natives still had some land that wasn't being ruled over by the French or Spanish.

    Then Spain starts taking up more land, specifically in Western North America.
    And here we are today:

    All in all imperial nations completely fucked the natives, and if anyone's going to be paying reparations it should be Spain, France, Britain, and the US government, especially after that nonsense known as Manifest Destiny and the Trail of Tears.

  34. Post #34
    Black's Avatar
    December 2009
    3,049 Posts
    Columbus didnt discover America, Vikings did, so I see no point in celebrating.

  35. Post #35
    Official Moose of DD
    Werem00se's Avatar
    August 2010
    5,176 Posts
    He was nothing more than a drunk who needed money badly. No one else was really willing to make that exploration at that point in time. Plus he choked to death in a hotel room on his own vomit, true american hero.

    Edited:

    Columbus didnt discover America, Vikings did, so I see no point in celebrating.
    This is very true, but he 'discovered' it for the new world.

  36. Post #36
    no way the dude deserves his own holiday, it's just an excuse for shopping and stuff

    plus I had to march in that fucking parade, it's a real bitch

  37. Post #37
    Gold Member
    Chrille's Avatar
    August 2005
    5,435 Posts
    Columbus didnt discover America, Vikings did, so I see no point in celebrating.
    Technically the native Indians did before the vikings.

  38. Post #38
    Gold Member
    BananaFoam's Avatar
    January 2010
    4,870 Posts
    He was nothing more than a drunk who needed money badly. No one else was really willing to make that exploration at that point in time. Plus he choked to death in a hotel room on his own vomit, true american hero.


    This is very true, but he 'discovered' it for the new world.
    Wow, Columbus sounds like an old, washed-up rock singer.

  39. Post #39
    Gold Member
    Snake7's Avatar
    May 2011
    1,765 Posts
    I remember the Sopranos episode about this.


  40. Post #40
    Gold Member
    Venezuelan's Avatar
    September 2011
    12,108 Posts
    Vikings discovered America.

    Edited:

    I don't get your whole spiel about Native Americans being here first meaning that European contact with America isn't a big deal though.

    Edited:

    Columbus Day is just a minor holiday no matter what. I don't even get college off for it. No one really cares if it's Columbus Day, people just like days off. Rename it to Discovery Day or some shit, won't even matter.