I used to go to a psychiatrist but my mother pulled me out of that. I was going because I needed help with my anxiety disorder (now managed by myself, at least), post-traumatic stress disorder, and my depression (work in progress, sadly) but I was also seeing him because I was having hallucinations and seeing/hearing people that weren't there. I believe I am schizophrenic. Pretty garden variety, right. But I notice in recent months I find myself flying off the handle or flying into these states of anger at almost nothing. Things like the door being blown open by the wind, when my shoelaces become undone, spilling coffee, etc. I find myself unable to deal with these things and thus, if nobody is around, I end up throwing shit at walls and screaming until I lose my voice for a few hours.
I often find myself irrationally angry or paranoid at other people, again, for the slightest things. When people correct me ("no, you're doing it wrong, let me show you how" or even worse, "no, you're wrong, and my bullshit anecdotal advice/opinions are right Djentleman!!"), when people stare at me too long (Little kids make me want to throw them at a fucking wall why do they STARE SO MUCH) and ESPECIALLY when people come up and surprise me from behind. I lost my best friend (a girl) not too long ago because she put her hands around my eyes and said "Guess who?" when she saw me when I was out in the park for a stroll and I turned around and elbowed her in the fucking face because I thought it was some thug who wanted my wallet. I don't think she told anyone, this was last winter and nobody's confronted me about it. She just fell down to the ground and looked up at me with this really hurt expression on her face and that was the last I ever talked to her.
Now, here's where my mom factors back into all of this. She's a devout Christian who doesn't believe in pills and medications. She was fine letting me go and just talk out my issues and get advice, but when she saw me with anti-depressants and shit for the anxiety, she flipped the fuck out, threw out my meds, and told me that I'd be going to a faith healer. I promptly told her to fuck off and we screamed for about half an hour and I went to my room and I ended up not seeing a faith healer. But whenever I asked her to drive me to the hospital (other end of town) she'd say no or sometimes even outright tell me I wasn't going to take "crazy-person meds."
I find my rages and my temper to be getting worse and worse. I often find myself with thoughts of killing and torturing people, and I'm beginning to hear voices all around me again sometimes.
tl;dr I need mental help, and my mother who is Christian and doesn't believe in medications won't let me go.