1. Post #201
    Mort and Charon's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,919 Posts
    The whole biological description of fingering her made me laugh, "I fingered her in the vulva just to try but she told me to massage her clitoris" lol.
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  2. Post #202
    Gold Member
    Contag's Avatar
    July 2010
    11,828 Posts
    take penis
    insert in girl

    congratulations
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  3. Post #203
    Mort and Charon's Avatar
    April 2009
    1,919 Posts
    And I wouldn't be disappointed in not getting her to come first time like that, I think it has a certain knack to it. I mean my girlfriend said her ex never got her to come fingering her in two years of relationship. Luckily on my second attempt I chanced upon a way that she loves and gets her to come every time. Hard work though
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  4. Post #204
    Gold Member
    Occlusion's Avatar
    March 2008
    6,620 Posts
    Any tips for getting with girls at clubs? I find it near impossible when i can't have a proper conversation.
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  5. Post #205
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,283 Posts
    Any tips for getting with girls at clubs? I find it near impossible when i can't have a proper conversation.
    Have a good dance game / isolate her
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  6. Post #206
    CP doesn't necessarily have to have a victim, it's just that 99.9% of the time it does. The thing with pedos is that they've been demonized to be horrible no matter what, and I don't think that's the case.
    Cheesemonkey's Avatar
    April 2006
    16,100 Posts
    don't talk to her about anime
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  7. Post #207
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,922 Posts
    Man up, Viking!
    You're 13 year old yet you got to finger your friend (even though you did a kinda bad job). Kissing her shouldn't be a problem for you!
    Go wild, have some fun, but remember that you don't have a lot of experience, so don't expect everything (especially sex) to be easy.

    Edited:

    Sidenote: If you fingerfuck a girl, you're not in her friendzone. You basically friendzoned HER. (by not kissing her when she wanted you to)
    I wish I was that lucky at 13.
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  8. Post #208
    Gold Member
    Contag's Avatar
    July 2010
    11,828 Posts
    I wish I was that lucky at 13.
    Why?
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  9. Post #209
    Gold Member
    CAPSMAN!'s Avatar
    August 2007
    2,020 Posts
    If he wasn't as dense(no offence) as Tony was at that age, it would have been awesome(at least when it comes to sex, everything else might've been crap about her).
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  10. Post #210
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,922 Posts
    Yes, that was what I meant. I was being ironic.
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  11. Post #211
    Gold Member
    Occlusion's Avatar
    March 2008
    6,620 Posts
    Have a good dance game / isolate her
    What
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  12. Post #212
    Gold Member
    Turnips5's Avatar
    January 2007
    7,086 Posts
    Any tips for getting with girls at clubs? I find it near impossible when i can't have a proper conversation.
    if you want nuanced conversation, clubs are pretty much out, try elsewhere
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  13. Post #213
    Gold Member
    Contag's Avatar
    July 2010
    11,828 Posts
    put a bag over her head and start with pickup lines whilst she is sensorily disoriented
    duh

    it works with the CIA all the time
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  14. Post #214
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,283 Posts
    put a bag over her head and start with pickup lines whilst she is sensorily disoriented
    duh

    it works with the CIA all the time
    You forgot chopping her up and escalating to vaginal penetration after putting the bag on her and making sure she's still sensorily disoriented.
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  15. Post #215
    Gold Member
    [CWG]RustySpannerz's Avatar
    February 2009
    2,048 Posts
    You forgot chopping her up and escalating to vaginal penetration after putting the bag on her and making sure she's still sensorily disoriented.
    That's what video games and imaginations are for.
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  16. Post #216
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,440 Posts
    I said, I'm going to throw something at you, she giggled, i threw some pieces of paper at her, she just laughed.
    young love :'~)
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  17. Post #217
    Dr. Disciple's Avatar
    September 2009
    1,082 Posts
    The whole biological description of fingering her made me laugh, "I fingered her in the vulva just to try but she told me to massage her clitoris" lol.

    Post reminded me of this:
    She's quirky but she tends to know her shit.
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  18. Post #218
    Badballer's Avatar
    April 2010
    3,218 Posts
    I had sex at a park last night. I think I saw someone watching us from outside their front door and I saw another house turn their front light on. It was still pretty fun. We were trying to do it secretly but after I made her orgasm she gave me a blowjob, can't really hide that out in public.
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  19. Post #219
    Mobon1's Avatar
    January 2010
    2,553 Posts
    Got dumped by my girlfriend of nearly two years yesterday. The first thing I did, was cry. I was in shock, she did it over the fucking phone through text out of no where. I just checked my phone and the first thing I saw was hurr would you be angry if we broke up. She offered to be friends, saying the reason why is that "She didn't want to to be taken her whole life." (we're in 9th grade lol).

    So I naturally said no, and I didn't want to talk to her, because by that point I was sad as fuck. I haven't spoken to her since. But, the very next day, the first thing I did was call my friend to hang out, and now I feel amazing. It doesn't bother me very much at all that she's gone. So I guess the point of this story is that getting your mind on other shit, maybe most importantly hanging out with friends, is probably the easiest way to feel better after a break-up.

    But then again, I could just not really care about my girlfriend a lot considering she's the kind of person to break up with me via text.
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  20. Post #220
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,440 Posts
    that is a shame, and her way of breaking up with you was pretty low.

    but you say you're only in 9th grade, which means you shouldn't be older than 15 (right?), so i wouldn't feel too down about it, you have the whole of the rest of your life (and more girls!) to look forward to!
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  21. Post #221
    Peng Weed Erryday
    Doozle's Avatar
    August 2005
    5,095 Posts
    She went back to uni a couple of days ago, missing her already.
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  22. Post #222
    Gold Member
    [CWG]RustySpannerz's Avatar
    February 2009
    2,048 Posts
    I think that reasons like 'I don't want to be taken my whole life', or "I want to live a little before I settle down" are fucking retarded excuses. Clearly if someone says that, they don't really love you anyway, because otherwise they would have no problem being taken for the rest of their life.

    She should have just been truthful and said, "I don't really like you in that way anymore." unless she really did believe that she wanted to try out other men. In which case, you're better off without her.
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  23. Post #223
    Mobon1's Avatar
    January 2010
    2,553 Posts
    I think that reasons like 'I don't want to be taken my whole life', or "I want to live a little before I settle down" are fucking retarded excuses. Clearly if someone says that, they don't really love you anyway, because otherwise they would have no problem being taken for the rest of their life.

    She should have just been truthful and said, "I don't really like you in that way anymore." unless she really did believe that she wanted to try out other men. In which case, you're better off without her.
    The only time I think the "try out other people" thing would KIND OF work is uhhhh actually that'd never work lol.
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  24. Post #224
    Gold Member
    Eluveitie's Avatar
    November 2009
    14,418 Posts
    The only time I think the "try out other people" thing would KIND OF work is uhhhh actually that'd never work lol.
    Well in the case of high school sweethearts, trying other people happens.

    The family who live across the road from me have parents who were high school sweethearts. Apparently they broke up because they were bored of each other with the reasoning "we need to try other people". They got back together 4 years later after they met at a gathering thing of a mutual friend.
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  25. Post #225
    Dennab
    January 2012
    609 Posts
    The way I see it, it's kind of like buying a house.

    Buying the first house you see is just stupid, no matter how awesome it may seem. No matter how much you like it, you need to see the other ones on the market because one or two could be even better. If none are and you end up with the first one, then great, you get an awesome house with some closure thrown on top.

    If you just jump for the first one, it's great for a while, but that nasty seed of doubt that says "What if?" in the back of your mind makes you regret not taking a look at the other ones. It's important to see other people just so you can have that closure. My girlfriend is great and everything, been with her for 2 years, but I dabbled in some other girls prior to her. So I can reliably say she's awesome, instead of going "omg she's the best ever," without having any proof to back it up. The mind needs that proof or it goes crazy.

    Ended up typing more than I expected to, lol. Sorry about that.
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  26. Post #226
    Ladowerf's Avatar
    March 2010
    793 Posts
    But what if you stumble on Mrs. Right the first time, and end up losing her forever? I know shitloads of girls that would pretty much mentally stab you in the eye with a fork for breaking up over something like that
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  27. Post #227
    Flash's Avatar
    July 2008
    484 Posts
    My father is 59 my mother is 57 they've been married for nearly 40 years been together since he was 14 never took a break had 5 kids. So yes true love is possible and it lasts forever.
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  28. Post #228
    Gold Member
    FlakAttack's Avatar
    November 2006
    5,534 Posts
    Got dumped by my girlfriend of nearly two years yesterday. The first thing I did, was cry. I was in shock, she did it over the fucking phone through text out of no where. I just checked my phone and the first thing I saw was hurr would you be angry if we broke up. She offered to be friends, saying the reason why is that "She didn't want to to be taken her whole life." (we're in 9th grade lol).

    So I naturally said no, and I didn't want to talk to her, because by that point I was sad as fuck. I haven't spoken to her since. But, the very next day, the first thing I did was call my friend to hang out, and now I feel amazing. It doesn't bother me very much at all that she's gone. So I guess the point of this story is that getting your mind on other shit, maybe most importantly hanging out with friends, is probably the easiest way to feel better after a break-up.

    But then again, I could just not really care about my girlfriend a lot considering she's the kind of person to break up with me via text.
    You did right deciding not to be her friend. Not worth the pain. Just don't be a dick about it.

    When I was 20, in my last year of social studies, I had been with the girl for over a year and a half and we were REALLY close. She left me the same way. Also happened to the girl I'm with now: guy told her that he wanted to be with other girls. He said "that's what college is all about". She had been with him for 4 years. Some people never grow up.
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  29. Post #229
    Gold Member
    Mr.Dounut's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,533 Posts
    My father is 59 my mother is 57 they've been married for nearly 40 years been together since he was 14 never took a break had 5 kids. So yes true love is possible and it lasts forever.
    hahahahaha what the fuck

    "True love is possible and it lasts forever" dude you need to stop watching romantic comedies
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  30. Post #230
    Rust Customer Helpdesk - leave a message on my profile!
    Rusty100's Avatar
    September 2005
    62,540 Posts
    it's not impossible. just very unlikely
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  31. Post #231
    Behemoth_PT's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,922 Posts
    Got dumped by my girlfriend of nearly two years yesterday. The first thing I did, was cry. I was in shock, she did it over the fucking phone through text out of no where. I just checked my phone and the first thing I saw was hurr would you be angry if we broke up. She offered to be friends, saying the reason why is that "She didn't want to to be taken her whole life." (we're in 9th grade lol).

    So I naturally said no, and I didn't want to talk to her, because by that point I was sad as fuck. I haven't spoken to her since. But, the very next day, the first thing I did was call my friend to hang out, and now I feel amazing. It doesn't bother me very much at all that she's gone. So I guess the point of this story is that getting your mind on other shit, maybe most importantly hanging out with friends, is probably the easiest way to feel better after a break-up.

    But then again, I could just not really care about my girlfriend a lot considering she's the kind of person to break up with me via text.
    There was once one girl who broke up with me over text. I just told her to fuck off and went about my business, no friendship attached. I regret nothing and not a single fuck was given.
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  32. Post #232
    Flash's Avatar
    July 2008
    484 Posts
    It's obviously very possible if my own god damned parents have been together a lifetime practically ?
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  33. Post #233
    Gold Member
    Dark_Light's Avatar
    May 2007
    2,598 Posts
    Yes it's obviously very godDAMNEd FUCkiuNG possible if YOUR OWN PARENTS have been together a lifetime basically !
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  34. Post #234
    Dennab
    January 2012
    609 Posts
    How's that one saying go?

    Something about how the exceptions don't make the rule? Very few things in this world are 100 percent certain, there's exceptions everywhere. It'd be like someone saying "You'll die if you get shot in the head," and you going "Nuh-uh, I've heard of someone surviving it before!"
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  35. Post #235
    Flash's Avatar
    July 2008
    484 Posts
    The restatement part was stupid, but anyways lets add content to the thread. Today I was walking down the hallway, and there was this couple making out my friends locker is literately 3 lockers away from them. I go to him and I start chatting it up with him as we go to the same class that period. This girl is fucking shoving her tongue in and out of him, and shes staring at me with her eyes wide open now I got freaked the fuck out when that happened, but of course that doesn't mean anything. The kid is an asshat hes 16 and hes fucking 4'9 and his head reaches my balls, but beyond that point its just downright creepy how they act "I'll get you that dildo soon ?" Hes a fucking homophobe in the closest haha. I mean seriously who says that to someone in a sane world with a logical thinking mind.

    Yeah I know hes a kid and all, but again you develop some sense of maturity at the age of 16 1/2. Anyway enough of that rant, and lets get on to the serious conversation. So I go to english class, and this girl sits behind me so naturally she pairs up with me and everything. I don't have a cellphone, but we always find common ground and we both laugh at each others jokes and stuff, and if my hand is just on the table flat she put her hand on my hand. So yeah I already know the answer 'Ask her out' I'll keep her under my radar until I get a cellphone because Its hard to maintain a social life without one haha honestly much easy texting someone "Hey man wanna hang out at X place at X time" instead of calling them and talking to them in person. Which is what ive had to do for the couple of years lol.
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  36. Post #236
    Mobon1's Avatar
    January 2010
    2,553 Posts
    The restatement part was stupid, but anyways lets add content to the thread. Today I was walking down the hallway, and there was this couple making out my friends locker is literately 3 lockers away from them. I go to him and I start chatting it up with him as we go to the same class that period. This girl is fucking shoving her tongue in and out of him, and shes staring at me with her eyes wide open now I got freaked the fuck out when that happened, but of course that doesn't mean anything. The kid is an asshat hes 16 and hes fucking 4'9 and his head reaches my balls, but beyond that point its just downright creepy how they act "I'll get you that dildo soon ?" Hes a fucking homophobe in the closest haha. I mean seriously who says that to someone in a sane world with a logical thinking mind.

    Yeah I know hes a kid and all, but again you develop some sense of maturity at the age of 16 1/2. Anyway enough of that rant, and lets get on to the serious conversation. So I go to english class, and this girl sits behind me so naturally she pairs up with me and everything. I don't have a cellphone, but we always find common ground and we both laugh at each others jokes and stuff, and if my hand is just on the table flat she put her hand on my hand. So yeah I already know the answer 'Ask her out' I'll keep her under my radar until I get a cellphone because Its hard to maintain a social life without one haha honestly much easy texting someone "Hey man wanna hang out at X place at X time" instead of calling them and talking to them in person. Which is what ive had to do for the couple of years lol.
    You have this computer don't you? Try facebook or something.
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  37. Post #237
    Flash's Avatar
    July 2008
    484 Posts
    I did facebook we talk a lot on there
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  38. Post #238
    Gold Member
    Faren's Avatar
    October 2006
    5,522 Posts
    Shaving pubes.

    Anything I should know?
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  39. Post #239
    Gold Member
    Mr.Dounut's Avatar
    January 2009
    1,533 Posts
    Shaving pubes.

    Anything I should know?

    it's a bad idea
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  40. Post #240
    Dennab
    January 2012
    609 Posts
    Shaving pubes.

    Anything I should know?
    Shave: Hell no.

    Trim: Yes.
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