THINGS WE ALL KNOW AND DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK ABOUT
DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT FUCKING OFFTOPIC POSTS BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE BEING OFFTOPIC YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE
1. There is drama in this thread; DO NOT FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. If you don't like it, you should probably stay away or you will stress yourself. Ignore it or take part on it.
2. The Minecraft forums are terrible
3. FLOATING ISLANDS EXIST NO SHIT SHERLOCK
4. There is a "Woo, Facepunch!" Splash image.
5. There are dungeons on the surface. THERE ARE DUNGEONS WE KNOW IT OKAY
6. Some users can be annoying. There is an ignore list. Use it.
7. OIFY trolls on the thread? If you don't know how to play along, fucking ignore them. If you do, you should probably ignore them because you wouldn't know how to keep up with it
Minecraft first turned out to be a singleplayer/online game where you built anything your heart desired with a large variety of blocks. This gamemode was and still is called Creative. But since Survival Mode is all the rage, Creative seems to be lost behind all of the commotion, only played by the poor and Irish of the Internet.
What exactly is Survival Mode?
Survival Mode was the second gamemode Notch (aka Markus Persson, creator of Minecraft) has ever made to Minecraft. This gamemode is all what you can imagine by the title - surviving. With the ability to create any structure with a large variety of interesting craftable and obtainable items, endless hours of gameplay. And with the exciting Multiplayer, it just keeps getting better.
Survival Mode all started out with Survival Test, with Notch just toying with things that would soon become the incredible gamemode we all play today.
Next came /indev/, also known as In Development, was just Survival Test, only, well, I'm not exactly sure why he did this, but he did it for a very good reason I bet.
After that came /infdev/, also known as Infinite Development, but again, like /indev/. I'm still boggled about why he did this.
And finally, after everything was prepared, he released the fantastic game known as Minecraft Alpha (also known as Minecraft Survival), the game we HAD until December 20, when the game was updated to Beta and the price was doubled! Further updates will continue to be free but this means the game will be nearing completion far in the future!
ORES
Ores is one of the big things in MINEcraft.
Coal.
- Coal is used to craft torches and smelt stuff. You need wooden pick or better to mine coal.
Iron.
- Iron is used to craft a LOT of tools. And armor too! You need a stone pick or better to mine iron.
Gold
- Gold is used to craft some rare items. You need an iron pick or better to mine gold.
Redstone
- If you mine redstone, you will get 4 redstone dust. Redstone dust is like the electric wires of minecraft. You can make really cool contraptions with redstone! You need an iron pick or better to mine redstone.
Diamond.
- Diamond is the best ore in the game. You can make tools and armor out of it. You need iron pick or better to mine diamond.
MOBS
Mobs are creatures that roam the generated terrain of every level. They can range from nice pigs to green dicks that blow up your shit.
There are currently 22 mobs in Survival Mode, with 7 of them being passive.
Friendly mobs:
Mooshroom
Villager
Snow golem
Pigs
- Pigs are friendly mobs. They may seem cute, but not everyone lives forever. So you'll have to kill such adorable creatures for their delicious bacon that heals 1.5 hearts (cooked bacon heals 4 hearts). If one is struck by lightning it will turn into a Zombie Pigman.
Sheep
- Sheep are just as adorable as pigs. You are able to magically shear them with your hands by punching them, which results in 1-3 blocks of wool being dropped.
Cows
- Cows seem friendly and look pretty stupid; But these mobs may drop up to 0-3 leather, which can be crafted into really crappy armor.
Chickens
- Chickens may look like ducks, but try not to get them confused too much. Chickens drop 0-2 feathers when killed and crap out eggs every 5-10 minutes.
Squids
- Squids are a new addition to Minecraft that came with a big update. When killed, they drop 1-3 ink sacks which is useful for wool dye.
Neutral mobs:
Ender man
Pig Zombies
- Pig Zombies, or Zombie Pigmen if you prefer, were added in during the Halloween Update. Though they can only be found in the Nether, they are completely friendly (until you disturb them by attacking them).
Wolves
- Wolves are the first tamable mob in the game. Attack one and it'll most definitely fuck your shit up. Give it some treats and you'll have a partner that will help you rape some creepers.
Enemy mobs:
Zombies
- Zombies looks like they're ready to hug, right? Well try not to get too close, because these fuckers pack a punch. They drop 0-2 feathers for God knows why when killed. When it turns day, they begin to burn (there must be no blocks above them, even leaves).
Skeletons
- These assholes like to shoot arrows at you from anywhere when they're close to you. Do NOT get trapped in a pit with Skeletons above you. When killed, they drop 0-2 arrows and/or 0-3 bones. Just like Zombies, they burn as well when it's day.
Spiders
- Spiders lurk anywhere, and are ready to jump at you whenever. They can be a big pain in the ass, especially when there are more than one. When killed, they drop 0-2 string. But with Spiders, they do not start on fire, most of the time they become friendly, making nice house guests.
Slimes
- Slimes are currently broken for some odd reason. But they are very adorable mobs, even if they are unfriendly. Slimes can range from small to very large; the smallest slimes don't hurt you, so you can have them follow you and keep them as a pet! When they are killed, they usually drop 0-2 slime balls.
Creepers
- These gigantic faggot dicks are the epiphany of why we all hate this game at times. They can be lurking ANYWHERE - even more concealed than spiders, and jump at you and blow up for no reason. They may seem like they need a hug (like Zombies) but be careful - they will destroy your shit. And what makes it worse is that they do NOT burn in daylight. But they drop 0-3 gunpowder when they are killed normally (not blown up) that can be crafted with sand to create TNT. If these guys get struck by lightning, god help you.
Ghasts
- Ghasts were added in during the Halloween Update. These large, white, box-like, annoying fuckers shoot fireballs at you from wherever they are floating, even if you aren't that close. Thank god Notch fixed them from crying so much when on fire, you'd probably quit playing the game when it happened.
Blaze
Cave Spider
Magma Cube
Silverfish
End bosses
Enderdragon
- Big gigantic dragon found in the end. Sure fucks up your day if you don't expect him to be in the end, but defeating him earns you a nice xp bonus and the end of the game.
ONE COOL THING ABOUT MINECRAFT IS THAT IT IS UNDER DEVELOPMENT, SO ITS UPDATING CONSTANTLY
( well, not constantly, just like, 1 time in a month, but whatever )
( well now we have jeb so like 10000 times a week )
new shit from the latest major update:
1.3 (nearly!!)

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