1. Post #3601
    Zambies!'s Avatar
    August 2009
    8,256 Posts
    You could recruit female friends of friends if you're in school, but you are banking on them being hush hush.
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  2. Post #3602
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,220 Posts
    you don't try to find out, you're just going to convince yourself you need proof girls like you back before you ask them out. you don't need that, just ask them out. if they are interested, they say yes. voila. if not, no harm done. don't have to make it awkward.
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  3. Post #3603
    Gold Member
    Problem's Avatar
    August 2011
    1,188 Posts
    Avatar fits.

    Anyways, what would be the the least socially exposing way to find out if a girl likes me back?
    I like this girl--
    Stop, stop right there. You like her? Ask her out.
    Quoth the OP. It makes you look a LOT better if you just ask them out.
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  4. Post #3604
    Avatar fits.

    Anyways, what would be the the least socially exposing way to find out if a girl likes me back?
    "Hey, wanna go out to [insert activity] with me on [insert date]?"

    If it is anything but "Yes" or "No, but how about [insert alternate date]?" the answer you have is that she doesn't like you.


    e.
    3k posts! I am slowly losing my life!
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  5. Post #3605
    LOO POO'S BIG FAN !!!!!!!! LOVES SHITPOSTING ALMOST AS MUCH!!!!
    Yahnich's Avatar
    October 2009
    8,962 Posts
    Avatar fits.

    Anyways, what would be the the least socially exposing way to find out if a girl likes me back?
    yo wanna hang out

    if she doesn't say yes or reschedule you can come bawling here about how you got friendzoned
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  6. Post #3606
    Gold Member
    Devodiere's Avatar
    November 2009
    10,862 Posts
    I shall relate to your post in that following fashion; "You never think the exact same way as the other person" - "when you can't get that most people are just happy with something that sounds nice" ....

    You just did it - mind reading. What made you conclude, sorry, deduct most people would be happy with something like the sentence a few posts above? Taking in consideration his particular situation, did you actually ask the girl after said sentence was spoken, how did she feel? Even if you did, do you really believe she found it "the perfect answer" ? None of us knows.

    Furthermore, you neglected my real question; why is it, you feel, anybody for that matter that supports your approach, the need to not hurt the person? Take in consideration what we said also; you cannot predict what would make her happy or not, so if you truly believe that, it raises a deeper question.... Why is it you so desperately need to not hurt her, when you can't tell exactly what she thinks?
    quick answer so this doesn't stretch out into a massive shitstorm. judging reactions is easy, knowing that someone thinks you're a twat and hypocritical just from one sentence is pushing it a bit far. it's also called empathy and you prefer not to get a reputation of being a dick to everyone.
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  7. Post #3607
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,352 Posts
    empathy?
    this is the guy who said he didn't give a fuck if a friend was bothered by something.
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  8. Post #3608
    Huge Faggot #2
    GoldenGnome's Avatar
    November 2007
    5,149 Posts
    If you're worried about your feelings being "socially exposed" then you probably aren't ready to tackle them.
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  9. Post #3609
    Gold Member
    Erector Beast's Avatar
    March 2007
    4,220 Posts
    seith doesn't understand how human emotions relate to the physical world. he only understands that humans have emotions, and that there is a physical world.
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  10. Post #3610
    Walls black like black waters, when they are heavy and seem to belong to other seas
    MakoSkyDub's Avatar
    January 2011
    7,210 Posts
    Basically ignore Seith and just wing it
    Oh man, thread title right there
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  11. Post #3611
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    empathy?
    this is the guy who said he didn't give a fuck if a friend was bothered by something.
    Really, did I, or was it again your interpretation so you could make it easier to dismiss what I say?

    Edited:

    seith doesn't understand how human emotions relate to the physical world. he only understands that humans have emotions, and that there is a physical world.
    Obviously.
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  12. Post #3612
    Awesome Member
    Dennab
    January 2006
    40,352 Posts
    no i asked you if that was what you thought and you said yes
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  13. Post #3613
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    quick answer so this doesn't stretch out into a massive shitstorm. judging reactions is easy, knowing that someone thinks you're a twat and hypocritical just from one sentence is pushing it a bit far. it's also called empathy and you prefer not to get a reputation of being a dick to everyone.
    Judging reactions is easy? Who are you, Dr. Cal Lightman? You said it yourself - you can never think the exact same way the other side does. You assume what works best for you - this isn't real sympathy so stop being a hypocrite. You assume she'd like to hear something like that. You assume she would be happy. And even though you understand this is complete nonsense made up by the people around you, so they could feel better when you have to hurt someone, you choose to be "empathetic", embrace this made up sense of "consideration towards the other person", because your reputation is important to you. Do you see the contradiction?

    You followed what was taught to you perfectly. You are a dick just as anybody else. You answered my question perfectly.

    P.S

    I am giving you my opinion, feel free (Everybody) to actually comprehend it instead of feeling as if I am criticizing your actions like a preaching father.

    Edited:

    no i asked you if that was what you thought and you said yes
    Of course I did. You got any actual quotes besides what you believe was said?
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  14. Post #3614
    Seith, when you are trapped in a corner, just die and respawn.
    You've lost this leg of the conversation, so you ought to just let it drop and fight for a different flagpoint.
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  15. Post #3615
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    Seith, when you are trapped in a corner, just die and respawn.
    You've lost this leg of the conversation, so you ought to just let it drop and fight for a different flagpoint.
    Is that what you want me to do? :P

    Also, the way you look at it is weird.
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  16. Post #3616
    I really felt like making it related to gaming, I don't know why.

    But really, you're alone in what you argue, yet you argue as though you have the ultimate answer.
    While I am sure most of what you say works for you, a large part of the time, it isn't the socially normal way to do things.

    You say a lot that'll make you look like a misogynist and narcissist, then talk it through (which sort of affirms this image) and then take offense when this image is applied to you.
    It's been a constant circle, I don't understand why you continue it.

    For the question, "How do I tell someone, 'No'?" you don't need to respond with an essay.
    No matter how you want to spin it, simple words work better.

    ~Change of Discussion Still Directed at Seith~
    No one really wants to read an essay for such a simple question- unless an essay is written in request, an essay in response is unnecessary.
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  17. Post #3617
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    It's o.k with me that you think differently, but don't make it as if YOU have the ultimate answer. :)

    Now,

    You say a lot of shit that will make you look like a misogynist and a narcissist.. -- So, let's say someone told me to tell a girl on the street I love her, would you find that creepy? Rapey? Sure, most people would. Why? Because, most people choose to think that way. If you don't think that saying Iloveyous on the street is creepy, then it won't be. A feeling is something we choose to have, not forced to, that's why diversity regarding styles of clothing exist. (i.e wearing lipstick is gay for most men, yet some men choose to do it... regardless of their sexual orientation, it's unrelated)

    Also,

    I agree that a simple sentence would have sufficed. What I don't agree with is the hypocrisy. Regardless, I now realized something. Thanks.
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  18. Post #3618
    Gold Member
    Devodiere's Avatar
    November 2009
    10,862 Posts
    Judging reactions is easy? Who are you, Dr. Cal Lightman? You said it yourself - you can never think the exact same way the other side does. You assume what works best for you - this isn't real sympathy so stop being a hypocrite. You assume she'd like to hear something like that. You assume she would be happy. And even though you understand this is complete nonsense made up by the people around you, so they could feel better when you have to hurt someone, you choose to be "empathetic", embrace this made up sense of "consideration towards the other person", because your reputation is important to you. Do you see the contradiction?

    You followed what was taught to you perfectly. You are a dick just as anybody else. You answered my question perfectly.

    P.S

    I am giving you my opinion, feel free (Everybody) to actually comprehend it instead of feeling as if I am criticizing your actions like a preaching father.
    i like that show, it is a sign of an autistic, sociopathic or drunk person if they can't read facial expressions though. the problem with mind reading is you assume others think as you do, assuming someone will take bad news better with politeness is something you can test on other people and something that uses information from others, not just yourself. you can't know everything, but people are not unknowable creatures to each other, some clues are evident.

    i get what you are saying about it being insincere, but that's why we have these nicer ways of saying things. you can't always have sincerity or people may not understand that sincerity, so it's a safer middle option that works somewhat. you really do sound like a sociopath though, or you're putting on an act.
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  19. Post #3619
    Gold Member
    Dark_Light's Avatar
    May 2007
    2,598 Posts
    So aaaaaaanyway I have a bit of a retarded situation, it's probably my fault but I don't even fucking know tbh. Incoming text wall.

    I texted that girl that I've been going on about for the last ages (and let it be known, I've learnt my lesson; fuck texts). It had been about a month since our last exchange, which was basically me saying to her that it was a shame she couldn't come the following evening (we had plans but she ended up not being able to come due to money/an overdue phone bill - it might sound a little bullshit-y but a mutual friend later mentioned it to me that she was saying the same thing to him), and her replying that we could always get coffee or something at a later date. I told her to text me when she was good but whatever, irrelevant now.

    So I texted her the other day, "Suuup Nat, free this weekend?" She replies yes. I invite her for coffee and suggest a day. She accepts. Note, by this point I'm pretty fucking happy. I had been quite interested in this girl for a while now and this was finally a chance to actually get to know each other and to have an actual conversation. She also added that she was able to pay off her phone bill which was the main reason she couldn't come out on the first evening I invited her out, so it all seemed quite positive.

    But then an hour later, before I could even reply she texts me again saying she just remembered she had a new job induction on that day and wasn't able to go out. I was kinda wtf but fair enough if she's legitimately busy. I reply a while later and bust on her for being difficult, and ask her when works for her in the following week. She says she can't do that week because she's busy with uni work, then suggests after the following weekend. I was at a friend's house by that point and was busy with other shit so I just left it.

    The next evening I'm at a party and a friend brings her up and asks me what the situation is blah blah blah, and I end up texting her. I tell her that I'm not sure yet but it should be cool, and then I mention a talk that's being held on the Thursday of the week she suggested, on a topic which we have a mutual interest in, adding that she was welcome to join me and to let me know soon.

    Then, she just doesn't reply. It's been about 5 days and so by this point I've kinda just said fuck it but I don't know. I know, if a girl declines a date and doesn't offer another time then she probably isn't interested, and by this point maybe I just need to admit that she isn't, but it feels pretty stupid to me to just give up completely after she actually accepted a date, and also counter-offered on two occasions. Unless this is all just some very indirect way of letting me know that she isn't interested (and if that's the case then that's pretty stupid).

    Part of me is thinking she might not have even gotten the text and is probably thinking 'wtf why isn't he replying' just like I am, but I doubt that (but at least I know not to rely on texts after this). Maybe I'm just being neurotic and impatient, but it was just odd that the next day after she *presumably* ignored my text, she just goes and likes pretty much everything I posted/commented on on Facebook.
    I KNOW, I'm not thinking 'omg she liked my status she definitely loves me', my point is just that it's kinda fucking weird if you're not interested in someone enough to ignore a text from then and turn them down on a date offer, but then just spend the next day continually reminding them of your existence.

    I don't know. I'm kinda bummed and don't know what to do. I just read back on what I wrote and feel so silly about this whole situation and should probably just abandon it, like all my friends are telling me to do. And honestly, if I actually got a clear indication that she wasn't interested from the start, I would drop it straight away, but that hasn't really been the case at all.

    EUGH I'm probably over-thinking the fuck out of this but even if I wasn't, what do I do. If she legitimately ignored my text out of disinterest, calling/texting her again would just be so awkward and I don't want to come across like that, because really I'm just legitimately confused as to what the fuck happened. Maybe she's actually just busy and she'll end up texting me closer to the date and I'm being a complete tool about all of this but still, it'd make sense to just reply anyway, right?
    Fuck seriously never texting a girl to ask her out again (stfu Seith (<3)).
    Someone help me plz thanks.



    But in more positive news, a girl from a charity approached me on the street the other day and started talking to me, asking if I was old enough to donate etc. I immediately picked up on her British accent and changed the topic to that, asking which part of England she was from as I was also born there. We ended up chatting for a while about completely irrelevant things, and before I left I got her number.
    I don't want to brag but it was in that exact moment that I realized how far I've actually come in the last 2-3 years, and how absolutely ridiculous the notion of me picking up a random girl off the street would be to me just a few years ago. Shit, I couldn't even talk to people properly back then without stuttering or looking at the ground or some other insecure/awkward occurrence. Feels pretty good to see how much you can improve if you just make the effort and get out of the house.
    GET OUT THERE AND DO IT.
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  20. Post #3620
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    So, the tl;dr of this would be: chick ignored your invitation and you got a number from a church chick as well.

    " I know, if a girl declines a date and doesn't offer another time then she probably isn't interested, and by this point maybe I just need to admit that she isn't, but it feels pretty stupid to me to just give up completely after she actually accepted a date, and also counter-offered on two occasions. "

    Not true. At least here, most women tend to NEVER offer a counter-offer as this shows they are interested in you. So, there's a possibility she wants you to chase her.

    I would just spend my time with the church chick meanwhile refrain from calling the uni chick. Give it a few days, you can even call her and not set up anything just because you were free... on your way to somewhere... Why hurry, you know she's yours ;)
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  21. Post #3621
    Walls black like black waters, when they are heavy and seem to belong to other seas
    MakoSkyDub's Avatar
    January 2011
    7,210 Posts
    Church chick?
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  22. Post #3622
    Rust Customer Helpdesk - leave a message on my profile!
    Rusty100's Avatar
    September 2005
    63,460 Posts
    i dont know what any of u are talking about but i could never date someone who went to church. that shit is too weird. it's like a cult.
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  23. Post #3623
    Gold Member
    Lukeo's Avatar
    October 2006
    7,264 Posts
    i dont know what any of u are talking about but i could never date someone who went to church. that shit is too weird. it's like a cult.
    Seith can't read, it was a girl working for a charity
    but on that note, when I was talking by the town centre today, some man just gave me piece of card with bible quotes on it, which I proceeded to throw into the rubbish while laughing to myself
    think he might have saw it
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  24. Post #3624
    CheeserCrice's Avatar
    September 2010
    1,453 Posts
    i dont know what any of u are talking about but i could never date someone who went to church. that shit is too weird. it's like a cult.
    less weird than being a moderator of an obscure internet forum.
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  25. Post #3625
    junker|154's Avatar
    August 2010
    6,943 Posts
    Trying to hard.
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  26. Post #3626
    Chief of facepunch medical staff
    Autumn's Avatar
    December 2006
    18,461 Posts
    less weird than being a moderator of an obscure internet forum.
    and that has what to do with anything?

    being a mod on an internet forum has no effect on your ~real life, and it's a bit weird you'd think it would. being part of a church is normally a big part of your life and is likely to actually effect your thoughts and behaviours.

    not at all similar.
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  27. Post #3627
    Gold Member
    HookerVomit's Avatar
    September 2008
    17,015 Posts
    i dont know what any of u are talking about but i could never date someone who went to church. that shit is too weird. it's like a cult.
    What type of churches are around your area? There is a difference between people who attend church once a week and don't force their faith on people and then there are those people who are bible beating Jesus freaks who think the lord told them to do this and that.
    I personally love a guy who has some type of faith. Even if he doesn't attend church.
    I've dated an atheist or two before and no, I'm not going to say they were demonic people. They were just women beaters. But I'm not generalizing that all atheists are.
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  28. Post #3628
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    Seith can't read, it was a girl working for a charity
    but on that note, when I was talking by the town centre today, some man just gave me piece of card with bible quotes on it, which I proceeded to throw into the rubbish while laughing to myself
    think he might have saw it
    Church, Charity.... stop nitpicking ;)

    Also, you are such a man.. with the throwing into the rubbish while laughing thing..
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  29. Post #3629
    Rust Customer Helpdesk - leave a message on my profile!
    Rusty100's Avatar
    September 2005
    63,460 Posts
    What type of churches are around your area? There is a difference between people who attend church once a week and don't force their faith on people and then there are those people who are bible beating Jesus freaks who think the lord told them to do this and that.
    yeah. the difference is a passive cult, or an aggressive cult.

    Edited:

    they still get together and mindlessly worship an omnipotent being and eat crackers
    but we dont have to get into that

    Edited:

    I've dated an atheist or two before and no, I'm not going to say they were demonic people. They were just women beaters. But I'm not generalizing that all atheists are.
    seriously, what the fuck? girl you got some problems

    why is every one of your exes abusive
    the common denominator is you. you probably hate yourself and are subconsciously attracted to men who mistreat you
    or something. because it's not possible to just be that unlucky.
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  30. Post #3630
    Walls black like black waters, when they are heavy and seem to belong to other seas
    MakoSkyDub's Avatar
    January 2011
    7,210 Posts
    I wouldn't even be friends with someone who was religious

    That shit is just ignorant
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  31. Post #3631
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    Isn't stereotyping and assuming stuff on people on the basis of their beliefs ignorant?
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  32. Post #3632
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,961 Posts
    I wouldn't even be friends with someone who was religious

    That shit is just ignorant
    I've gotten into a few unwanted arguments with religious friends.

    Needless to say we aren't that close anymore. It's just gonna blow up eventually.

    Edited:

    Isn't stereotyping and assuming stuff on people on the basis of their beliefs is ignorant?
    There is a correlation between if someone is religious and how they behave socially. In my experience knowing if someone's religious is usually a good basis to know how they'll interact with you.
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  33. Post #3633
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    I've gotten into a few unwanted arguments with religious friends.

    Needless to say we aren't that close anymore. It's just gonna blow up eventually.
    Blow up eventually? You're saying it's invetiable?

    Edited:

    I've gotten into a few unwanted arguments with religious friends.

    Needless to say we aren't that close anymore. It's just gonna blow up eventually.

    Edited:



    There is a correlation between if someone is religious and how they behave socially. In my experience knowing if someone's religious is usually a good basis to know how they'll interact with you.
    Again, that's assuming.

    You two, the religious guy and you, choose to argue about what was taught to you as children, it's absurd. I have a religious friend, we are worlds apart in beliefs (I am an atheist) and yet we never argue about these kind of things.
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  34. Post #3634
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,961 Posts
    Well if you don't argue then it's going to be awkward as hell when he mentions anything religious.
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  35. Post #3635
    Walls black like black waters, when they are heavy and seem to belong to other seas
    MakoSkyDub's Avatar
    January 2011
    7,210 Posts
    Isn't stereotyping and assuming stuff on people on the basis of their beliefs ignorant?
    There's no assumption if all I'm going off is that someone has convinced themselves of creationism theory or some similar bullshit

    Almost certainly they have other traits, but if one of them is ignorance that is enough for me to not respect them
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  36. Post #3636
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,961 Posts
    There's no assumption if all I'm going off is that someone has convinced themselves of creationism theory or some similar bullshit

    Almost certainly they have other traits, but if one of them is ignorance that is enough for me to not respect them
    Yeah.

    You can't say "but that's assuming" because they either accept creationism or they don't, then it gets into "are they really religious or are they just saying it for whatever reason" and, more often than not, it boils down to "individual who I can't respect."
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  37. Post #3637
    junker|154's Avatar
    August 2010
    6,943 Posts
    I do not see a problem when you date someone who is more religious than you, it is rather interesting and a change. But if they force you to believe it and become religious to, it gets out of hand.
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  38. Post #3638
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,961 Posts
    Religion's just volatile. I tend to not interact with it.
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  39. Post #3639
    Gold Member
    Seith's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,334 Posts
    Well if you don't argue then it's going to be awkward as hell when he mentions anything religious.
    What? It sounds as if you are just looking for reasons to argue with him. He never pushes his beliefs on me.

    And even if he did, I wouldn't be bothered by it, I have no need to prove what I believe in.
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  40. Post #3640
    Dennab
    November 2011
    1,860 Posts
    less weird than being a moderator of an obscure internet forum.
    be careful, Rusty, you've made the christians angry
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