1. Post #1
    POLITICAN
    CubeManv2's Avatar
    August 2008
    6,838 Posts
    Second thread, Back to bitching about customers

    I'm the assistant manager at a gourment food store. So I like to post me fucking around or just generic asshat customers. The end of usual days my store manager asks for this certain type of bread at the end of every day. We throw them out anyway so the bakery girl will drop them off in the office on the center table. It was like fucking 10 or 11 of them today, They didn't sell well for some odd reason. So i put one in every draw in his desk one on his chair and all over his desk.
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  2. Post #2
    I ROLL THE NICKELS
    CodeMonkey3's Avatar
    October 2008
    17,848 Posts
    I work at Target and sell Target and Target Accessories.

    I'm a Logistical Package Relocation and Distribution Technician. (I unload the truck and stock the shelves)

    Sometimes when I'm bored at work I like to make up games.

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  3. Post #3
    Gold Member
    JeanLuc761's Avatar
    March 2010
    7,918 Posts
    I recently found out that my store has been underpaying me for at least 2 1/2 months (wouldn't have ever known until I told my boss my salary and she deadpanned "No...that's not right at all.")

    I still have yet to hear back from payroll, and we contacted them a week ago.
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  4. Post #4
    White Male seeking K-Pop Harem
    G3rman's Avatar
    January 2012
    2,987 Posts
    Thank you for reposting this thread, I like to read stories as I search for a job.
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  5. Post #5
    Gold Member
    Jim_Riley's Avatar
    February 2006
    1,530 Posts
    I'm a Logistical Package Relocation and Distribution Technician. (I unload the truck and stock the shelves)
    Fancy name for a stock associate
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  6. Post #6
    Gold Member
    JeanLuc761's Avatar
    March 2010
    7,918 Posts
    Fancy name for a stock associate
    Hey now! Don't call me a sales associate, call me by my proper title! SENIOR Game Advisor, bitch.
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  7. Post #7
    I ROLL THE NICKELS
    CodeMonkey3's Avatar
    October 2008
    17,848 Posts
    Fancy name for a stock associate
    I made it up.

    Target has a special name for us though called "Flow"

    So I had to make up a different name to tell people.
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  8. Post #8
    Connoisseur of Maple Syrup, Guns, and Sex Toys
    Dennab
    August 2008
    5,053 Posts
    So, I bluntly asked my manager today if he was going to make me Assistant Manager, on account of him putting a lot of trust/responsibility in me. His reply? "I'd love to. I'll talk to the District Manager when he's in on Wednesday."

    Fuck yeah.

    Edited:

    Oh. I do however have a pretty funny story. This happened about a month ago. I'm DEAD SERIOUS.

    Someone calls the store, and I answer, "Thank you for calling RadioShack this is <name> how can I help you?"
    'Hi what's the number for your store?'
    "Which store? This one?"
    'Yes'
    "The one you just dialed?"
    'Yes'
    "..."
    '...'
    "It's XXX-XXX-XXXX"
    'Thanks! *click*'

    About a minute later, same guy.
    "Thank you for calling RadioShack, this is <name> how can I help you?"
    'Hi. Do you guys have any antennas in stock?'
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    JeanLuc761's Avatar
    March 2010
    7,918 Posts
    On the subject of customers calling the store, here's a couple of questions I must ask:

    If you're able to find our number and call us to ask when we're open, you're more than capable of finding the hours yourself. I refuse to believe that the 2 dozen calls we receive every day asking "What time do you close?" are all a result of people using a phone book.

    Next...why are so many people convinced that it's a good idea to call the store and ask us retail clerks to provide tech support? I mean, I appreciate they trust that we're knowledgeable, but it's still baffling.
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  10. Post #10
    Gold Member
    DarkendSky's Avatar
    July 2009
    3,051 Posts
    On the subject of customers calling the store, here's a couple of questions I must ask:

    If you're able to find our number and call us to ask when we're open, you're more than capable of finding the hours yourself. I refuse to believe that the 2 dozen calls we receive every day asking "What time do you close?" are all a result of people using a phone book.

    Next...why are so many people convinced that it's a good idea to call the store and ask us retail clerks to provide tech support? I mean, I appreciate they trust that we're knowledgeable, but it's still baffling.
    I bet they use 411 to get the number.
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  11. Post #11
    Michael Bay Christus
    Chaotic Lord's Avatar
    October 2010
    7,665 Posts
    I don't work in retail

    I was at wal-mart, looking at the cameras because I was bored. Some lady comes up to me and asks me some questions about which was better.

    Me: "I don't really know."

    Lady: "Well, which one takes better pictures?"

    Me: "i don't know"

    Lady: "Don't you know anything? you're supposed to know it! What the hell do they pay you for?"

    Me: ".....They don't? I don't work here."

    She pulls an actual employee and asks to see the manager.

    Manager: "What's going on?"

    Lady: "he *Points at me* isn't doing his job, he doesn't know anything, and.."

    Me: "I don't work here."

    Lady: "DONT GIVE ME THAT CRAP AGAIN!"

    Manager: "I'm sure we can solve this peacefully."

    the manager gives me a look like "Just go with it"

    Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, I could bring you to someone more knowledgeable if you'd like"

    Lady: "Wouldn't THAT be a change!"

    I lead her 8 feet to the employee at the cashier, and then I quickly left.

    I wasn't even wearing blue so I have no idea where she got the idea I worked there.
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  12. Post #12
    Bigglesworth's Avatar
    July 2006
    52 Posts
    I used to work at Walmart, so you can probably already tell where this is going.

    I was working the cigarette counter when some giant blonde lady comes through, her hair looked like a rat's nest and she smelled of beer.

    Anyway, I try to ask her how her day's going, but I have a speech impediment which pops up randomly so I stuttered really bad. She blows up and starts rambling about how Walmart hires retards all the time and how about I shouldn't be allowed to have a job and such all while she's jabbing her finger at me like I'm a puppy that just pissed on the carpet.

    So after buying an entire carton of cigarettes she starts to walk away, but she gets stopped by one the managers who then proceeds to yell at her (I was pretty far away so I couldn't hear anything, but his face was really red.)

    She then gets escorted out and accidentally left her $50 bag of shit behind and wasn't able to go back and get it.
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  13. Post #13
    Gold Member
    megafat's Avatar
    January 2005
    6,272 Posts
    I'm know I'm going to repeat what i said from the last thread, but with all of the stupid people you'd have to deal with when working in retail really puts me off to this line of work. I'm respect all of the people who put up with dealing with idiot customers and the chances of being underpaid/working unreasonable hours. and having to work with people who are just as fucking stupid.
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  14. Post #14
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,725 Posts
    I'm know I'm going to repeat what i said from the last thread, but with all of the stupid people you'd have to deal with when working in retail really puts me off to this line of work. I'm respect all of the people who put up with dealing with idiot customers and the chances of being underpaid/working unreasonable hours. and having to work with people who are just as fucking stupid.
    It's frustrating when it happens but as this thread and the previous one shows, you will definitely laugh at it later.
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  15. Post #15
    Valor
    Novangel's Avatar
    September 2008
    19,092 Posts
    I work in the bakery section of the local Woolworths (Kinda like Walmart with more emphasis on groceries i dunno what the equivalent is), I don't get idiotic customers usually but get rude ones sometimes. Like every so often a person would walk up to me and just spurt "*insert food name*?"
    I resist the urge to say where's your fucking manners and ask what the fuck is that supposed to even mean.

    I did have this hilarious customer this week, while I was marking down some bread this woman sheepishly sees I'm marking them down, so sneaks behind me and takes a bread from her trolley and puts it on the end of the barge i'm marking down on, and retrieved it once I was done and moved on. I didn't say anything or point out she could just ask cos she looked so shy
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  16. Post #16
    Gold Member
    Justin Case's Avatar
    January 2008
    2,298 Posts
    I work at SCATS selling agricultural products, the amount of times I've had to deal with "SCATS eh? that's a shitty name" is unbelievable.
    It's only recently that I've notice just how underpaid my work is, I go home with raw hands, blisters, cuts and dead arms and legs. I restock shelves, take deliveries, transport the heavier products to customers vehicles such as chicken/horse/pig feed and coal as well as serving at the counter.
    Today I kept a long piece of receipt paper on me and dabbed it with a marker pen everytime I lifted something and worked out how much stock I had manually moved in about 6 hours. It came to 2.32 metric tons. That's a fair bit for someone who's meant to be on the counter all day just scanning shit.


    I work in the bakery section of the local Woolworths (Kinda like Walmart with more emphasis on groceries i dunno what the equivalent is), I don't get idiotic customers usually but get rude ones sometimes. Like every so often a person would walk up to me and just spurt "*insert food name*?"
    I resist the urge to say where's your fucking manners and ask what the fuck is that supposed to even mean.

    I did have this hilarious customer this week, while I was marking down some bread this woman sheepishly sees I'm marking them down, so sneaks behind me and takes a bread from her trolley and puts it on the end of the barge i'm marking down on, and retrieved it once I was done and moved on. I didn't say anything or point out she could just ask cos she looked so shy
    Didn't Woolworths shut down in 2009?
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  17. Post #17
    a wet towel's Avatar
    March 2008
    1,588 Posts
    A few reopened with some slight variation of the name I think.
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  18. Post #18
    Valor
    Novangel's Avatar
    September 2008
    19,092 Posts
    In Australia they're the #1 retail chain
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  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Funny's Avatar
    March 2010
    1,564 Posts
    Wow.. I have so many stories from my time at Sainsburys. I'll trickle content in as the thread needs it. A lot of it is about stupid shoplifters, some are sad. Others are about the retardation that is the general population and the banter that goes on between staff members.

    Broccoli Story:

    A few weeks ago we had a customer come in to our store. He walks in the entrance, and saunters up and through the store like any normal customer. He goes up to Produce (fruit and veg and stuff), and peruses the contents of the shelves. He takes a single head of Broccoli. He opens his jacket, and calmly slides this head of Broccoli under his armpit. He walks away from Produce, calmly, towards the entrance. Obviously, seeing this all, our 6"2' Belgian, tank of a security guard starts tailing him. The man gets spooked as he sees this Belgian behind him. He removes the Brocolli from under his jacket, throws it on the ground (which causes it to explode) and bolts out the entrance. My manager pokes a stick through the remnants of the Broccoli and proceeds to chase the employees around the store with this stick of Broccoli...
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  20. Post #20
    ''just wondering''
    Keegs's Avatar
    December 2008
    2,812 Posts
    We have this new rule at work instead of announcing over the intercom "manager to the back for the trash key" we have to use "code C manager to the back" to seem more professional. I agree its beter than the first but me and my manager had the biggest 'shit-eating grins' on our faces when I announced a "Code C" over the intercom.
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  21. Post #21
    Gold Member
    Hana-San's Avatar
    November 2010
    2,000 Posts
    In Australia they're the #1 retail chain
    No they're not.
    Coles!
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  22. Post #22
    POLITICAN
    CubeManv2's Avatar
    August 2008
    6,838 Posts
    We have this new rule at work instead of announcing over the intercom "manager to the back for the trash key" we have to use "code C manager to the back" to seem more professional. I agree its beter than the first but me and my manager had the biggest 'shit-eating grins' on our faces when I announced a "Code C" over the intercom.
    Funny story for us on walkies since we don't have intercom

    New secretary wanted to speak with store manager and didn't know where he was. So i grabbed my walkie

    "omarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr where arrreeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?"
    "i on break"

    he later pulls me to the side saying i have to be serious on the radio, Meanwhile owner is laughing his ass off
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  23. Post #23
    Gold Member
    AugustBurnsRed's Avatar
    May 2009
    5,572 Posts
    At the renaissance festival my coworker Ben was selling some water bottles or something to a drunk lady and she decided to tip him, by stuffing $2 or $3 in his pants.

    It was awkward and we weren't sure what to do or think of it.
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  24. Post #24
    Valor
    Novangel's Avatar
    September 2008
    19,092 Posts
    No they're not.
    Coles!
    AhahahahahAHAHAH

    Edited:

    At the renaissance festival my coworker Ben was selling some water bottles or something to a drunk lady and she decided to tip him, by stuffing $2 or $3 in his pants.

    It was awkward and we weren't sure what to do or think of it.
    He gun get raped
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  25. Post #25
    Gold Member
    Hana-San's Avatar
    November 2010
    2,000 Posts
    AhahahahahAHAHAH
    Woolworths sucks. No customer service at those places.

    And they're got more locations.


    Also, found that my Coles lost about $107,000 this year.
    From waste (mainly people leaving stuff on shelves and things going off from not selling) and then a lot of people steal from my work. We've had people try to walk out with trolleys and not paying.

    I've heard some stories about some people emptying 10kg dog food bags and putting food INSIDE the bag to get away with it and only paying for the dog food. Sneaky people.
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  26. Post #26
    Certified Catgirl Maid
    slayer20's Avatar
    January 2006
    9,275 Posts
    I work at a Convenience Store.

    Anyway, we used to have this payphone right beside the front door. Well, there's this one customer who has been nicknamed "Crazy Lucy". I don't know the whole story, but one day she came in to use the payphone and was talking to someone about her cat.

    Apparently she was talking about some sort of medicine, because she was talking about how she couldn't fit the pill up the cat's butt.

    Yeah...not so sure that's something you'd talk about in a public place.

    Well, a week or so later, she came back in to buy marshmallows. We didn't have any at the time. She started to ramble on about how she's really not supposed to have marshmallows because of glucose or something, but she wanted some anyway.
    And then she was complaining about why we only got our truck shipments in once or twice a week. Apparently she doesn't realize that she lives in a very small town.

    Edited:

    I've heard some stories about some people emptying 10kg dog food bags and putting food INSIDE the bag to get away with it and only paying for the dog food. Sneaky people.
    That's GENIUS
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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    Hana-San's Avatar
    November 2010
    2,000 Posts

    Well, a week or so later, she came back in to buy marshmallows. We didn't have any at the time. She started to ramble on about how she's really not supposed to have marshmallows because of glucose or something, but she wanted some anyway.
    And then she was complaining about why we only got our truck shipments in once or twice a week. Apparently she doesn't realize that she lives in a very small town.
    I get this all the time. Especially when we've got no fruit or veg in as the shipment is the next day.
    And the time that our milk had been taken to the wrong store.
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  28. Post #28
    I paid $999.99 for a forum upgrade and all I got was a beating from my mother :(
    usaokay's Avatar
    February 2005
    16,987 Posts
    I don't work retail (or at all), but this is a pretty not-so interesting story.

    Back when I was attending High School, I enrolled in a Journalism class. As part of the bonuses, we're issued Journalism passes and in order to make myself feel like one (and I don't feel like taking it out when I'm stopped by school security during classes), I got a lanyard with a card holder so I can wear my card around.

    After school, I went to Costco with my Mom. I was still wearing my name tag, so when I was near the water bottle section, an old Asian woman asked me if I'm and employee here and if so, then if I can help her put the water bottles in her cart. I replied that I don't work here and the name tag was my Journalism pass. She apologized, but since I don't want to leave her left hanging, I helped her put the water bottles in her cart.

    If you've ever been to a Costco and bought a package of water bottles, then those are slightly heavy and I doubt an old Asian woman would have the power to lift a package up.
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  29. Post #29
    Valor
    Novangel's Avatar
    September 2008
    19,092 Posts
    Woolworths sucks. No customer service at those places.

    And they're got more locations.


    Also, found that my Coles lost about $107,000 this year.
    From waste (mainly people leaving stuff on shelves and things going off from not selling) and then a lot of people steal from my work. We've had people try to walk out with trolleys and not paying.

    I've heard some stories about some people emptying 10kg dog food bags and putting food INSIDE the bag to get away with it and only paying for the dog food. Sneaky people.
    Where do they empty the dog food?

    Edited:

    Some Woolworths service does suck though, not mine
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  30. Post #30
    Badballer's Avatar
    April 2010
    3,214 Posts
    No they're not.
    Coles!
    IGA ftw. Always open no matter what.
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  31. Post #31
    Gold Member
    Hana-San's Avatar
    November 2010
    2,000 Posts
    IGA ftw. Always open no matter what.
    They close at 11.

    Edited:

    Where do they empty the dog food?

    Edited:

    Some Woolworths service does suck though, not mine
    They shove it under shelves.
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  32. Post #32
    POLITICAN
    CubeManv2's Avatar
    August 2008
    6,838 Posts
    Great thing happened today, Customer was being rung up and my cashier started a convo on wanted to taste orangina



    Went like this.

    Cashier1: I really want to try orangina i should go get one
    Customer: All it tastes like is watered down orange juice
    Cashier: Oh really?
    Customer: yeah it's like yahoo watered down
    Cashier2: Yohoo is awesome though
    Cashier1: Yeah it is.
    Customer: I dunno to me yahoo tasted watered down.

    Anyway he leaves then we just realized, He was saying Yahoo instead of yohoo. So after it was

    Cashier2: You guys heard him saying yahoo right instead of yohoo
    Cashier1: Yeah, apparently to him Orangina tastes like and internet search engine
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  33. Post #33
    crackberry's Avatar
    July 2009
    2,424 Posts
    I used to work at Walmart, so you can probably already tell where this is going.

    I was working the cigarette counter when some giant blonde lady comes through, her hair looked like a rat's nest and she smelled of beer.

    Anyway, I try to ask her how her day's going, but I have a speech impediment which pops up randomly so I stuttered really bad. She blows up and starts rambling about how Walmart hires retards all the time and how about I shouldn't be allowed to have a job and such all while she's jabbing her finger at me like I'm a puppy that just pissed on the carpet.

    So after buying an entire carton of cigarettes she starts to walk away, but she gets stopped by one the managers who then proceeds to yell at her (I was pretty far away so I couldn't hear anything, but his face was really red.)

    She then gets escorted out and accidentally left her $50 bag of shit behind and wasn't able to go back and get it.
    You have the best manager ever. I kind of had the same experience this summer. I worked for a pro baseball team as a guest service rep(pretty much stood around and helped fans). I am instructed to keep people from smoking in the upper deck, because its against the rules and all. I asked this one guy, some guy that looked like he left the frat, probably 10 years older than me(I'm 16) to stop smoking. He blew up at me, saying they shouldn't let kids be doing this job and asked to talk to my manager(whilst swearing me out). One of the security guards overheard this and kicked him and his 5 friends out for verbally assaulting an employee. The people in the section around them clapped as they were escorted out.
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  34. Post #34
    I ROLL THE NICKELS
    CodeMonkey3's Avatar
    October 2008
    17,848 Posts
    'shit-eating grins'
    What the fuck does this mean? I've seen it else where but I've never figured out what it means.
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  35. Post #35
    Gold Member
    teslacoil's Avatar
    May 2006
    2,419 Posts
    What the fuck does this mean? I've seen it else where but I've never figured out what it means.
    This is a shit-eating grin:

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  36. Post #36
    Sorry about the downtime, now buy shit.
    CrispexOps's Avatar
    February 2010
    1,588 Posts
    What the fuck does this mean? I've seen it else where but I've never figured out what it means.
    It's a very smug grin. Trolling, essentially.

    Had the funniest ass customer I've ever had come in. Some black guy came in, and came right up to our little group we had going (just bullshitting waiting for the truck to come in), and yelled, "YO MAN WHERE'S YO TAMPONS!? MY GIRLS MEAT IS BLEEDING!" I fucking lost it.
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  37. Post #37
    Gold Member
    Kel|oggs's Avatar
    June 2010
    2,731 Posts
    I really don't want to work at a grocery store anymore...
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  38. Post #38
    My FaVoRiTe CoLoR <3
    Sgt. Khorn's Avatar
    August 2006
    3,631 Posts
    I don't have an exciting stories on my mind to retell. But every now and then I will check the Front End Manager station and see a picture or two of fake coupons that people try to use and we need to keep an eye out for.

    The first coupon was for Call of Duty MW3. It was buy 1 copy of MW3, save $50.

    The next was save $25 on purchase of any Prepaid Visa card.




    Not too exciting, but it's funny to think that people try to make fake coupons so obvious.
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  39. Post #39
    But I have great taste in movies
    Toats MaGoats's Avatar
    September 2010
    599 Posts
    I work in a ShopRite as a cashier. A partially deaf elderly woman comes into my line and says something to me which i cannot hear. She then proceeds to yell at me "WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?" I soon realized she was trying to tell me a joke but I didn't hear it the first time. Every other customer in line was dying of laughter as the frustrated elderly woman tries to say the joke to me again. To please her I fake a laugh. It doesn't seem to make her happy since she keeps calling me a jerk for not laughing the first time. Might I add she was saying all of this at an extremely loud tone. I still remember the joke: "Why are cemetery gates always open? Because people are dying to get in.".....ugh
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  40. Post #40
    kill yourself
    Protocol7's Avatar
    June 2006
    25,725 Posts
    I don't have an exciting stories on my mind to retell. But every now and then I will check the Front End Manager station and see a picture or two of fake coupons that people try to use and we need to keep an eye out for.

    The first coupon was for Call of Duty MW3. It was buy 1 copy of MW3, save $50.

    The next was save $25 on purchase of any Prepaid Visa card.




    Not too exciting, but it's funny to think that people try to make fake coupons so obvious.
    Well it's like you have to run the coupon code through the system anyway and most managers are aware of current active promotions

    I've never heard a story of a fake coupon that worked
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