1. Post #1
    Teh_Cheese's Avatar
    June 2008
    3,707 Posts
    Alright, I'm tired of seeing all of this "I EMAILED VALVE AND GOT A REPLY :D" threads, and decided that there should be no more of it.
    So, as I have to, I will post my email and reply to Gabe.

    To:
    "'*****@*******'" <******@********>
    Subject:
    RE: Faceposing In Left 4 Dead?
    Reply:

    Yes, they all animate now.

    -----Original Message-----
    From: **************
    Sent: Wednesday, October 01, 2008 8:23 PM
    To: Gabe Newell
    Subject: Faceposing In Left 4 Dead?

    Will there be it? Because in the extended trailer I hear "HERE THEY COME!" But
    nobody's mouth is moving.
    It would be cool.
    and no, this isn't a megathread, it's just a thread.
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  2. Post #2
    Visage's Avatar
    January 2008
    648 Posts
    Well, good for you. So, who wants to send Gabe demeaning fat comments and post their replies?

    Edit: Seriously, it would be funny to see some of the joke replies we get, somebody think of something mildly insulting but not too offensive and send it to Gabe, I hear he has quite the sense of humor.
    Edit: lol run on sentence
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  3. Post #3
    Teh_Cheese's Avatar
    June 2008
    3,707 Posts
    -oh2yearlatersnipohshit-
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  4. Post #4
    Gold Member
    Acegikmo's Avatar
    October 2005
    642 Posts
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  5. Post #5
    Teh_Cheese's Avatar
    June 2008
    3,707 Posts
    Acegikmo posted:
    Parallax shading?
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  6. Post #6
    Stay Rusty
    postal's Avatar
    April 2005
    11,941 Posts
    I wish I had a save of all my halflife 1 story questions I sent to marc laidlaw. he cleared up so much shit, only to have my computer crash and me lose the email. what a bummer.
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  7. Post #7
    Gold Member
    Lazor's Avatar
    July 2007
    9,254 Posts
    I'm going to paraphrase.

    There was a topic about a Steam themepark.

    Someone emails the idea to Gabe.

    He responds with, "And all the shops would serve only sandwiches"

    Something like that anyway.
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  8. Post #8
    "TL;DR" is not an acceptable response to this post.
    WaLLy3K's Avatar
    May 2005
    1,459 Posts
    postal posted:
    I wish I had a save of all my halflife 1 story questions I sent to marc laidlaw. he cleared up so much shit, only to have my computer crash and me lose the email. what a bummer.
    If you use POP3, wouldn't it be stored in your online account?
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  9. Post #9
    Gold Member
    Mr. Someguy's Avatar
    March 2006
    24,057 Posts
    I once E-mailed them about EP2 being way too easy. Saying the whole HL2 series is just way too easy compared to HL1. I gave some suggestions on making physics puzzles harder, but giving instructions on how to complete them if you are playing easy mode. I don't know if they liked the idea or not though.

    I'll get a pic of the Email tomorrow, as for now, I really should get to bed.

    Edit:

    Oh, and nice avatar WaLLy3K. :D

    Edit:

    What's so funny? :raise:



    4 years later, I still don't see what's so funny.
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  10. Post #10
    Rust Customer Helpdesk - leave a message on my profile!
    Rusty100's Avatar
    September 2005
    63,056 Posts
    postal posted:
    I wish I had a save of all my halflife 1 story questions I sent to marc laidlaw. he cleared up so much shit, only to have my computer crash and me lose the email. what a bummer.
    Too bad, I would have liked to see these.
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  11. Post #11
    Gold Member
    Smirnoff Joe's Avatar
    April 2008
    6,406 Posts
    Just sent an email concerning the TF2 update. Hopefully, we'll get at least a bit of update info.
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  12. Post #12
    Dennab
    December 2007
    57 Posts
    Rusty100 posted:
    Too bad, I would have liked to see these.
    gman is your sister thats all you need to know.
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  13. Post #13
    Single NA's Avatar
    August 2008
    15 Posts
    Dash,

    Some of those unlucky few survivors who've encountered Advisors report experiencing a barrage of disturbing, disorienting images in the form of personal memory, foreign vision and other less tangible experience.

    This image of the advisor is quick depiction of that sort of encounter.


    From: Dash [mailto:dasho.o@gmail.com]
    Sent: Monday, October 29, 2007 2:29 PM
    To: Gabe Newell
    Subject: Who is this man?



    Some clever sod on Facepunch found this hidden image of a man on the Advisor Model Preview image.
    Could you enlighten me as to who it is please?

    --
    Dash
    Hi Jack,

    Yes, our character models will be getting an upgrade. The three fingers were merged to reduce animation bones since it's rare that were require those fingers to be independent (although one gesture in particular does stand out...).

    Thanks for writing,
    -- David

    From: Dash [mailto:dasho.o@gmail.com]
    Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2008 1:51 AM
    To: Gabe Newell
    Subject: Higher resolution textures, separated fingers?



    Hey VALVe,
    I was wondering if you, in Episode 3 or sooner, plan to update the Rebel/Citizen skins to be higher resolution? Smexy as the Source engine can make them look, you have to admit that the older models/skins are starting to look a bit dated and low resolution up close when compared to newer engines.

    I'd also like to know why you decided to join 3 of the Rebel's fingers? I'm an avid Garry's Mod poser and having their fingers look like flippers isn't very appealing if you get me? I suppose it must've had something to do with lowering the poly count?

    Looking forward to your reply!

    --
    Jack Playle,
    Dash


    Apparently I'm on his Spam list due to the use of the word "sexism" :raise:
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  14. Post #14
    I am a moderator.
    Swebonny's Avatar
    August 2006
    13,010 Posts
    Trackmania using Source engine?
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  15. Post #15
    Stay Rusty
    postal's Avatar
    April 2005
    11,941 Posts
    WaLLy3K posted:
    If you use POP3, wouldn't it be stored in your online account?
    idk this was a few years and three computer crashes ago.

    Edit:

    marc laidlaw owns. i had a fucking wall of text of questions and he answered all of them cause he's just such a rad guy.
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  16. Post #16
    Gold Member
    chunkymonkey's Avatar
    January 2005
    18,844 Posts
    This is what I like about Valve. If you send them an email you're guaranteed to get a personal response and not just some automated message.
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  17. Post #17
    Dennab
    May 2008
    103 Posts
    I asked Gabe if TF2, and source games in general, will get better multicore support than that "queue" shit.

    He said yes.
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  18. Post #18
    Gold Member
    sltlamina's Avatar
    February 2007
    521 Posts
    Fuck Valve are fucking awesome! Was there ever an explanation as to how that dead Barney found his way into the ventilation thing in the original game? You know, the place with the huge fan above him and both vents completely sealed and he's just... dead?
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  19. Post #19
    Gold Member
    Maloof?'s Avatar
    December 2006
    7,055 Posts
    My first email to Valve;

    Hi Ivan-
     
    As you've probably already heard I have updated the Source SDK last week
    to include updated versions of the tools. In a later release I will
    include the particle editor. 
     
    -Best Regards,
     Mike Durand
     Valve
     
    -----Original Message-----
    From: Ranger IX [mailto:ivan_jinken6@hotmail.co.uk] 
    Sent: Saturday, October 13, 2007 5:48 AM
    To: Gabe Newell
    Subject: Episode2 updated SDK
     
    Hey Gabe.
     
    I realise that you are very busy... all the time, working on all that
    nifty 
    stuff up in nerd heaven, but I have a plea.
     
    As a mapper, I am excited be able to use the new features that Episode2 
    added to the Source engine - the particle system, the lighting and
    foliage 
    support...
     
    Rumours are going around that the updated Source SDK is coming out in a
    few 
    days, a few weeks even.
     
    Can you set us straight?  How long will it be until we get our holy
    grail?
     
    Thanks
     
    Keep up the good work
    



    and my second;



    Hi, Ivan, thanks for your story.  Except for the flux capacitor, which we cut from the game for legal reasons (we’d be sued by Christopher Lloyd), this is so close to what we were planning that we now have to scrap everything and do something you weren’t expecting.  So, there will be a slight delay while we come up with a new tactic.  I guess I should be mad at you, but I appreciate the amount of work you must have put into it. 
    
     
    
    Yours,
    
    Marc Laidlaw
    
     
    
    From: Gabe Newell
    Sent: Tuesday, August 05, 2008 2:26 AM
    To: Marc Laidlaw
    Subject: FW: Please forward to Mr. Laidlaw
    
     
    
     
    
     
    
    From: Ivan Jinken [mailto:ivan_jinken6@hotmail.co.uk]
    Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2008 3:03 AM
    To: Gabe Newell
    Subject: Please forward to Mr. Laidlaw
    
     
    
    Hey Mr. Laidlaw.
    
    I understand that you're a very busy man, but if I could have a few minutes of your time then I would be thrilled.
    
    I wrote this one night while contemplating possible finales for Episode 3.  I don't expect you to tell me how close I am to the planned plot, I just ask that you read it and give me your comments.
    
    
    
    
    
    The old man led Alyx and Gordon into a small cabin, just below the main deck.
    "Please, please, sit!" he took a kettle from a small stove and gathered some mugs, "You're just in time!"
    "In time for what?" Alyx watched the old man stirring sugar into the mugs, "Who ARE you?"
    "I," the old man handed them two steaming mugs, "am Doctor Emmett Brown. I am a time traveller. I've just finished setting up a system that will allow this ship to travel through time, through use of an invention of my own; a Flux Capacitor!"
    "You're telling me that this ship, the ship that the Combine are scouring the oceans for, is your latest project?"
    "Now, now, me dear, I haven't the faintest clue who these 'Combine' are. You say they're looking for this ship?"
    Alyx glanced at Gordon, who seemed deeply fascinated by the teabag floating in his cup, "The Combine, Doctor Brown, have taken over this entire planet. They will kill you if they find you here."
    The Doctor hurried over to a chest of drawers, scrabbling around inside the top drawer.
    "Ah, here we are!" he took out a dusty book, "My old journal! Let's see..." he flipped through the pages, "Here! About twenty years ago I do recall flashes of light in the distance. The night sky was always a golden-green, like a swirl of cloud, far above us yet covering the sky like a transparent blanket. Would this have anything to do with these Combine?"
    "Portal storms." Alyx glared at the unattentive Gordon. He glanced up. "I said, Portal Storms, Gordon." Gordon nodded quickly. Alyx went on; "The Portal Storms, caused by an accident at the Black Mesa Research Facility attracted the Combine to our planet. They took over every civilised area within hours. Don't you date your journal entries?"
    "Heavens no!" the Doctor sat back down, "I haven't the time. And it seems that we have even less if we're to get out of here before these Combine arrive!"
    "I don't know if you've noticed," Alyx walked over to the cabins' only window, "but this ship is half buried under a wall of ice. Our helicopter will take hours to unfreeze. It wasn't built for Arctic conditions."
    "I have it planned out." The Doctor smiled.
    
    
    The orange glow shone out from the Borealis and into the night. Flames licked up from the edge of the ship, slowly melting the ice.
    "Doc! What's going to happen when the ship is free? Won't we sink? The entire port side is crushed!"
    "Don't worry! I've got hundreds of floatation devices under there, and a dozen pumps to keep the water out. That should be enough to get us where we need to go."
    "Where exactly are we going?" Alyx shouted over the sudden wind.
    "You didn't happen to see any empty stretches of ocean on your way over here, did you?" the Doctor shouted back.
    "In case you hadn't noticed, it's pitch black out there! We had trouble even finding you!"
    
    
    An hour later, the last of the ice was gone and the Borealis was afloat. Albeit still leaning to port by a few degrees.
    "What now, Doc?" Alyx and Gordon stood beside the Doctor in the usable section of the bridge.
    "Well, if my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight knots... you're gonna see some serious shit. Let's get her moving."
    The boat creaked as the engine roared to life. They began to move forwards, small chunks of ice falling from the sides of the ship.
    "So how does this Flux Capacitor work?" Alyx leaned against the wall.
    "Well, there I was, in my bathroom, hanging a clock, when I fell and bumped my head. Needless to say, I was out cold! When I woke up I... great scott! The machine will never work!"
    "Woah Doc, I thought you said-"
    "I know what I said! But I've made a critical mistake! The Flux Capacitor needs 1.21 Gigawatts of power to run! It's powered by a nuclear reactor, but I'm missing a critical material - Plutonium!"
    "Gordon." Alyx stared out of the window, "The gravity gun runs on Plutonium." Gordon nodded as Alyx turned around, "Where is it?"
    
    Gordon walked across the empty deck towards the chopper. The ship was gaining speed, the dark water splashing against the hull.
    A metallic cry echoes from the darkness. "Gordon," Alyx's voice called through a loudspeaker, "Gordon! Combine!"
    A crab-like creature landed on the deck between Gordon and the helicopter. His eyes darted around for a weapon. Lying beside an empty toolbox sat a crowbar.
    The Synthcrab lunged at Gordon. Darting out of the way, he stooped for the crowbar. The Synthcrab turned to lunge again, but Gordon was already running towards the chopper.
    He wrenced open the frosty door, leaping inside and slamming it shut. The Synthcrab scrabbled at the door, its metal legs creating deep scratches in steel.
    Gordon moved to the back of the chopper, searching for the gravity gun. Reaching for a faint orange glow, his hands closed around the familliar grip.
    Now to get out again.
    
    The chopper-door blasted outwards, collecting multiple Synthcrabs. They swarmed as Gordon ran, their legs scuttling over the icy deck. He raised his crowbar and brought it around in a wide sweep. The nearest Crab cried out in pain as it fell.
    "Gordon!" Alyx shouted, "RUN!"
    Gordon aimed the gravity gun and fired. A Synthcrab went flying into the darkness, collecting dozens more as it slid towards the edge of the deck. He fired again. He was closer to the bridge-door now.
    A familliar, animal-like call sounded. A Combine dropship appeared, blue searchlights shining out from the darkness.
    Gordon began to pick up the pace. He fired another shot from the gravity gun, sending a crowd of Synthcrabs into the night.
    A thump sounded, and his vision blurred. He blinked, and his vision slowly cleared. Only a few yards to the door. Thump. He wrenched it open and hurried inside, slamming it behind him. Thump. He raced up the stairs and onto the bridge, quickly opening the side-hatch of the gun and removing the Plutonium-capsule. Thump. Thump. Thump.
    "Gordon, what's wrong?" Alyx turned handed the Doctor the capsule. Thump. "Gordon?" Her voice sounded faint, muffled. "Gordon?"
    An Advisor appeared at one of the bridges' windows. Thump. Another Advisor appeared beside it. Thump. Hordes of Synthcrabs scuttled up the sides of the bridge, scratching at the thick iron plates. Thump. More Advisors appeared, gazing in through the thin, glass windows. Thump.
    The metal around the windows began to bend.
    "My, my," the Doctor turned away from the Flux Capacitor, "These creatures must have some sort of mental power to-"
    "DOCTOR!" Alyx shouted, looking away from Gordon.
    "Sorry, sorry," the metal creaked as small cracks appeared at the corners of the windows, "It is ready."
    "How long until we reach the right speed?"
    "Ten minutes exactly. Much less if we didn't have thousands of metal crabs onboard."
    THUMP. Gordon looked up into Alyx's worried eyes. He stood from his dazed slumber. Picking up his crowbar, he turned towards the windows.
    They shattered inwards and the Advisors began to warp the metal even more, widening the holes.
    Dozens of Synthcrabs rushed through the windows. Gordon swung once, twice, three times, but still they came. Alyx fired shots into the swarm, but nothing was slowing them.
    The Doctor shouted, "Mr Freeman!". Gordon turned around and caught a shotgun/. He turned it around, fitted his hand into the grip and pulled the trigger.
    A blast of shells ripped through the Crabs, carving huge gaps in the crowd. He pulled the trigger again, destroying another dozen.
    The window gaps were wide open now, but there were no Advisors in sight. Gordon fired another round into the swarm. The remaining Crabs fled, scuttering out the windows, across the deck and into the cold ocean.
    "What were those things?" Alyx panted, holding her side, "and where did they all go?"
    Thump. Alyx walked over and gazed out into the night. Thump.
    "How long Doc?" Alyx called over her shoulder. Thump.
    "About five minutes! Let's pray this works!" Thump.
    Gordon strode over to Alyx, pulling her away from the window. Thump.
    "Gordon! What's wrong?" Thump.
    He pushed her beind him as they backed away from the windows. Thump.
    "Gordon. I want you to know that I lo-"
    Four Advisors flew into the room, lifting the trio off their feet
    "Gordon!" Alyx was pinned against a nearby console. The Doctor was suspended above her, unconsious. Gordon was himself pinned against a wall, the Advisors' metal claw holding him firmly in place. The fourth, larger Advisor floated between them, observing Gordon. The Advisor was darker than the others, his deep green skin glowing.
    "Well." A voice spoke, seemingly telepathically to Gordon. It wasn't a single voice, however. It spoke with many voices, old and young, shrill and deep. It spoke with the voices of one million souls. "Saviour of Mankind? Messiah of the Rebellion? Leader of Humanity? But who leads the leader?"
    "Gordon, what is he talking about?" Alyx struggled against her captor.
    "Where is your master to save you this time, Doctor Freeman? The Vortigaunts try to help you, yes. But do they have the power to save you now? Call for your master. Call for him. He will come."
    "Who Gordon? Who is he talking about?"
    "Leave Mr. Freeman out of this." a familiar voice spoke, calm and controlled.
    "He comes." The Advisor turned away from Gordon. The G-man stepped through the door, stopping to examine himself in a shard of broken glass.
    "You know why we are here." The Advisor moved closer to the G-man. "You know what we require of you."
    "I do." The G-man straightened his tie as he stared into the Advisors' eye. "You will not have him."
    The Advisor recoiled, screaming in pain before the G-man's raised palm. "I am not a mutual friend to you, Arkand. Nor any of your other associates." The Advisor screamed again, falling to the floor, writhing in pain.
    "Release them." The G-man spoke to the other Advisors.
    They did not move.
    "I said release them." The three Advisors spasmed, crying out. They fled out of the windows and into the night. The Doctor dropped to the floor as Alyx rushed over to Gordon. Their warm reunion was interruped by a smart, polished shoe tapping on the metal floor.
    "Mr. Freeman. We have work to do." The G-man climbed out of a warped window, beckoning for Gordon to follow.
    Alyx followed Gordon to the window. Gordon turned around.
    "Gordon, I'm coming with you."
    Gordon shook his head. Kissing her on the forehead, he climbed out of the window and up onto the roof.
    The G-man stood, looking out into the distance. "You see how the ocean glows, Doctor Freeman. Can you explain that?"
    Gordon shook his head.
    "No, you cannot. Because you do not truly understand our enemies. To understand what they hunt is one thing. To understand why they hunt this is entirely different." He turned to Gordon. "They can not be allowed to have the technology this ship holds. Both time-travel and single-dimension teleportation are present here. If they capture it, the Earth - the Universe - as we know it, will be gone."
    Gordon pointed to the ocean. The glow was slowly growing stronger.
    "They come." The G-man gazed at the ocean. "They come at last."
    
    Out of the ocean rose thousands of Advisors, all glowing with the same orange incandescence. The air pulsed with thought, a thousand streams of psychic energy flowing.
    "Two minutes," came the Doctors' groggy voice over the loudspeaker.
    A mental shockwave blasted from the rear of the ship. Out of the ocean rose a huge Advisor, glowing bright green. Water dripped from its colossal body, running through every wrinkle of its age-old skin. It bore no mechanical or electronic equipment, and seemed to float without support.
    "Freeman." A single voice spoke, both beautiful and terrifying to behold. It boomed through the minds of all humanity, making even the boldest quake in their shoes. "It is time."
    Gordon walked to the edge of the roof. The Grand Advisor extended a hidden limb. Gordon stepped onto it and was slowly raised up to look into the Advisors' eye.
    Alyx struggeled up onto the roof, standing beside the G-man.
    "Gordon Freeman." The Advisor gazed at him. "How could so small a creature create such a problem?"
    You are aware that there is no way you can win. We have been on this planet for much longer than you. Much longer than your people. I have been here since the dawn of humanity, waiting for my people to contact me."
    Is it your right to rule this planet? My planet? Is it your right to fight me, your true master? Is it your right to rebel against me? Is it your right to hide from me what should be mine?"
    Gordon looked down at his crowbar. "It is our right to live." He swung the crowbar in a wide arc, plunging it into the Advisors' huge eye.
    The Advisor roared in pain. Gordons' vision blurred under the sudden psychic rush. He held on to the Advisors' massive eyelash as the giant shook in pain.
    "You have the right to die, Mr. Freeman!"
    Gordon jumped. He fell through the sky, wind rushing past him. Below him, Alyx cried out, "Gordon!".
    The deck of the Borealis rushed up to meet him. He felt bones break.
    [User death imminent.] A computerised voice spoke in his ear.
    "Gordon!" Alyx rushed through the door onto the deck. She pulled him into her arms, looking into her eyes. "Gordon..." she whispered.
    They kissed. The kiss lasted a lifetime, bringing a shield between the above commotion and themselves.
    A voice once again spoke in Gordons' ear. [Lifesigns improving].
    The loudspeaker crackled, "Thirty seconds!".
    "Gordon, can you walk?" Alyx gently pulled him to his feet.
    The pair half walked, half carried each other to the bridge.
    The Doctor was looking at his watch. "Five, four, three, two one-"
    He stopped, frozen in time. The G-man walked in through the door, brushing dust from his suit. "Well said, Mr. Freeman. I see your friends are planning to return to the past to right the wrongs of the future." He gestured to the console housing the Capacitor. It read June 14th, 2002. "But that journey is not for you."
    The surrounding area turned dark, until the G-man and Gordon were standing in empty blackness.
    "It is time for you to move along, and right the wrongs of another ti-"
    "He will not." a croaky voice spoke in the darkness. A purple vortiguant materialised. He appeared older, more weary than the others Gordon had seen. He was bent over, leaning on a walking-stick. "He has done his job. Let him live."
    "It is not your place to say how I use him, Vortigaunt."
    "Nor is it yours.."
    "Gerthiant is growing in strength, Vortigaunt. He will be needed again."
    "Not yet." The Vortigaunt turned to Gordon, "Come. She waits for you."
    
    


    I'm stoked about how in touch with the public they are about everything. They might take years to develop games, but you know that when the game does come out it's gonna be perfect.
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  20. Post #20
    Gold Member
    NegaZomBuste's Avatar
    August 2007
    107 Posts
    Here are some funny ones from Shacknews


    1. The grenade puzzle: I did it with a blast from the gravity gun! Looked down and primary fire and the floor bounced me up. Would love to see more gravity gun bounce puzzles
    2. The little forest bit was BRILLIANT, it had the perfect feel as you walk in and it got darker and quieter but looking up the HDR made the leaves against the sky look great. It would be fantastic to have an extended time in a forest, i think even combat would work in there.


    The response from Valve's Chet Faliszek demonstrated the company's hard-line attitudes:

    Thanks for the email.
    We do not allow cheaters. We are matching you against our steam subscriber list and you will be banned for cheating in the grenade puzzle.

    Thank you


    Day after day, Shacker Robotic Puppy Eater saw the same enigmatic image (pictured left) on the Team Fortress 2 map Gravel Pit. Baffled by its existence, consistent placement ("I see it ALL THE TIME," he posted, "in the exact same spot."), and artistic inconsistency with the rest of TF2's decor, he sent this email to the folks at Valve:


    I keep seeing this picture above one of the spawn area exits in gravelpit. Can you tell me what it is? Thanks.
    Justin


    The astute response from ever-vigilant Valve:

    Hi Justin,
    It appears to be a duck.

    Matt


    Case closed!


    Shacker and dedicated Team Fortress 2 player Rosewood is known for staying connected to servers reserved for Shacknews readers even after he is no longer playing, occupying a valuable player slot. Shacker deveus1 was sick of it, and composed the following email:

    Hi Gabe,
    Rosewood went AFK again on the shack's TF2 server. He's been like for the last 6 hours and he just won't leave :( Is there anything you can do? He's a nice guy and all, but we've gotta make room for some people. Thanks in advance.


    Valve designer Robin Walker made it clear that this kind of behavior is not tolerated:


    After some discussion about possible solutions to this problem, we decided that the easiest one was to just permaban Rosewood's steam account. Glad to hear you're enjoying TF2.
    -Robin.


    But Valve didn't stop there. Valve's Erik Johnson decided it wasn't enough just to stop this egregious TF2 idler from playing games--he must be punished internet-wide. The following email was sent to Shacknews founder Steve Gibson and cc'ed to deveus1:


    Steve - Can you ban his Shack account too please? Thanks
    Problem solved!


    Shacker Lionhart32935 had a minor gripe with one of Half-Life 2: Episode Two's commentary recordings:

    Hi Gabe!
    One [of] the commentators in episode 2 sounded really bored. I believe his name was Stevie or Steven, can't quite recall. Tell him to sound more excited. He makes games, he should be off the wall to talk about what he worked on. He sounded like Ben Stein was having more fun than he was.


    Valve's Chet Faliszek wasted no time in righting the wrong, going straight to the source:

    Thanks for your email.
    Based solely on your feedback we have decided to fire the offending party, Steve Kalning. Instead of sending him to HR and wasting their time, I have cc'd him on this email and this will act as his official notice. Clean out your desk Steve.

    Thanks Lionhart for helping us make Valve a better place.

    It wasn't long before a second email response followed:

    Pat, after careful study, I realize steve bond could have also been the culprit. So since we can't really be sure, and really no sense wasting any more time on this.
    Mr Bond? Please clean out your desk as well.

    Concerned that his complaint had already resulted in the loss of two jobs, Lionhart32935 replied:

    How about just giving him a hug instead? I heard that cheers up many people. Buy him a drink, even better! It will make the work environment more exciting for him if he gets unexpected surprises from fellow coworkers.

    Faliszek was having none of it:

    That is the kind of weak thinking we don't need aroud here Lionhart. Hugs never got a 96 on the metacritic score.
    Standards upheld!
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  21. Post #21
    Gold Member
    Maloof?'s Avatar
    December 2006
    7,055 Posts
    NegaZomBuste posted:
    Here are some funny ones from Shacknews


    Still laughing!
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  22. Post #22
    Dragon Member
    Dragory's Avatar
    January 2006
    1,312 Posts
    NegaZomBuste posted:
    Here are some funny ones from Shacknews

    Hahaha, awesome ones! :excited:
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  23. Post #23
    Rust Customer Helpdesk - leave a message on my profile!
    Rusty100's Avatar
    September 2005
    63,056 Posts
    NegaZomBuste posted:
    Here are some funny ones from Shacknews











    "Hugs never got a 96 on the metacritic score."

    Love this quote.
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  24. Post #24
    Internet Detective (HBIED certified)
    leach139's Avatar
    August 2007
    7,214 Posts
    NegaZomBuste posted:
    Day after day, Shacker Robotic Puppy Eater saw the same enigmatic image (pictured left) on the Team Fortress 2 map Gravel Pit. Baffled by its existence, consistent placement ("I see it ALL THE TIME," he posted, "in the exact same spot."), and artistic inconsistency with the rest of TF2's decor, he sent this email to the folks at Valve:


    I keep seeing this picture above one of the spawn area exits in gravelpit. Can you tell me what it is? Thanks.
    Justin

    The astute response from ever-vigilant Valve:

    Hi Justin,
    It appears to be a duck.

    Matt


    Case closed!
    Holy shit. I'm in a VALVe MAP!

    Edit:

    Shacknews Website posted:
    (As was later determined, the image is the personal spray of fellow Shacker pyide.)
    :crying:
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  25. Post #25
    rublux's Avatar
    July 2008
    28 Posts
    Can somebody tell me gabes e-mail?
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  26. Post #26
    UpMax's Avatar
    November 2007
    36 Posts
    rublux posted:
    Can somebody tell me gabes e-mail?
    gaben[at]valvesoftware[dot]com
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  27. Post #27
    Gold Member
    NegaZomBuste's Avatar
    August 2007
    107 Posts
    UpMax posted:
    gaben[at]valvesoftware[dot]com
    you don't have to do that
    gaben@valvesoftware.com
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  28. Post #28
    TheLinxV3's Avatar
    July 2008
    149 Posts
    NegaZomBuste posted:
    you don't have to do that
    -snip-
    BUT THINK ABOUT THE SPAM BOTS
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  29. Post #29
    Sweet Roll Moderator
    Daimao's Avatar
    February 2007
    4,321 Posts
    Maloof? posted:
    -Epic story-
    Epic fucking read. I hope something like that happens in EP3.
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  30. Post #30
    Gold Member
    lintz's Avatar
    May 2006
    6,681 Posts
    I sent a mail to Gabe asking him whether he would like to implement a COD4 style ammunition pickup, and possibly increase the total ammo stored. He never replied though :(
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  31. Post #31
    Headhanger's Avatar
    January 2005
    14 Posts
    They tried to guilt trip me into buying the Orange Box.

    Bastards.
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  32. Post #32
    Gold Member
    Turbis's Avatar
    April 2007
    2,045 Posts
    I e-mailed gabe last week and he repied "Stop e-mailing me you stalker" :(
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  33. Post #33
    Gold Member
    NegaZomBuste's Avatar
    August 2007
    107 Posts
    Turbis posted:
    I e-mailed gabe last week and he repied "Stop e-mailing me you stalker" :(
    what did you email him?
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  34. Post #34
    UberBunny's Avatar
    September 2007
    259 Posts
    I've always wondered what the Demoman was supposed to say in the bleeped part of his trailer...
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  35. Post #35
    Gold Member
    niko2410's Avatar
    July 2005
    248 Posts
    Heh, some of these are great! Keep posting them.
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  36. Post #36
    VassikinX3's Avatar
    March 2008
    1,205 Posts
    UberBunny posted:
    I've always wondered what the Demoman was supposed to say in the bleeped part of his trailer...
    I'm gonna guess it was something racist.
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  37. Post #37
    AUTISTIC DOTA WANKER
    Dr Bob's Avatar
    June 2006
    7,361 Posts
    VassikinX3 posted:
    I'm gonna guess it was something racist.
    No, just swearing probably.
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  38. Post #38
    Gold Member
    Jzzb's Avatar
    March 2007
    1,892 Posts
    He was reciting Episode 3's story line
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  39. Post #39
    Positive energy is space expanding, negative energy is space contracting. Or reverse?
    onebit's Avatar
    July 2005
    6,403 Posts
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  40. Post #40
    Gold Member
    Snake31's Avatar
    May 2006
    1,184 Posts
    RE: Oddworld‏
    From: Gabe Newell (gaben@valvesoftware.com)
    Sent: Fri 8/29/08 9:22 AM
    To: *****
    You’re welcome, *****. However, we are not obligated to cover for your pants.



    From: *****
    Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2008 4:28 PM
    To: Gabe Newell
    Subject: Oddworld



    Thank you very much (whether it was you or just the Steam folks, or both, who brought it.. just give my thanks to them, too) for bringing Oddworld to steam. I had to change my pants when the update news announced this.
    Oddworld pack is great.
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