Heres the story, a few days ago I found out my friend was an airfix fanatic and he persuaded me to try making one. This was a very bad idea but I went along with it anyway. I went and got some little airplane kit for about £5 from my local hobby store and bought it home. I was quite excited to try and finally make something that looks good for once in my life. I was wrong.
I get home, open the box and everythings there. Polystyrene glue thing, the parts, instructions and some green paints. I first take a look at the instructions. It was just one picture of the parts and arrows of where they should go. I first set up my desk and put a sheet of tissue down just incase i spill glue, then I gently take out the pieces to make the left wing. Then I put the parts together just to make sure they fit, which they did. Everything was going good so far until I came to the gluing stage. I took off the cap, aimed at where I needed to glue and squeezed very gently on the tube. Fuck. Glue came out everywhere and basically covered the whole side of the wing part. I thought fuck it anyways, since it was the inside of the wing and nobody would see it.
Next I attached it to the piece it was supposed to go to, but due to the immense amount of glue on the part, it all came out the edges when the 2 pieces were stuck together. I had to hold it for about 10 minutes before it would actually fucking stick. At this point I was seriously regretting buying the kit, but it was only £5 so I thought fuck it. The glue in the kit is total shit, 1 little squeeze and it ejaculates glue like a horny old man who hasn't jacked off for about 3 years. One thing I forgot to mention is that when taking pieces out the tray thing, it snaps off and leaves this little mark of where it has been snapped. I think you are supposed to file it off or something but I couldn't be arsed since there was no file in the kit. Moving on through the building process, I decided to make the right wing while the left was drying. Same mishap with the glue, goes all over my fingers and all over the parts. Amazingly it actually dries in less than a minute on my fingers, but on the actual pieces it takes about 5-10 minutes.
Few hours later I had managed to attach the wings/body/tail/etc together. Looking at it, the plane looked totally horrific. There were crispy glue flakes from where the tube exploded everywhere and gaps from where the glue didnt even stick parts together properly. I only had a few more pieces to attach so I thought I might as well finish it. I managed to improvise with the glue. Instead of squeezing it, I just held it up till it dribbled out which still wasn't perfect, but better than the explosions I had before. I finally came to attach the cockpit window. The glue & transparent plastic do not mix well. I tried as best as I could to keep the glue on the edges of the part, but it still managed to go everywhere. When the glue eventually dried on the window, it looked like shit. The window was all frosted with glue on the inside and there was no way of removing it. What else annoyed me was the amazingly small parts that went on the bottom of the plane. There was this little truss that went on the bottom and was meant to hold the bomb. I carefully tried to push it out of the tray and it snaps. So I thought fuck it, no bombs. Eventually I finally finish it and let it dry for the night.
The next day I apply half an undercoat of dark green to the plane. The paint is total fucking shit. After managing to get paint all over my desk while trying to take the lid off it, I realise some of it is very watery and some is like jelly. I put the lid back on, give it a shake for about 5 minutes and then take the lid off again, splashing paint everywhere again in the process. The paint is still the same. Yet again I think fuck it and just start painting anyway. As I said before, the paint was very watery. I start painting one section of the wing and bam, the paint runs everywhere. I eventually gave up on the plane 5 minutes later and left the thing to dry for a while. I come back later and the plane looks like shit.
I finally decide on what to do with the plane and throw it out the window. One thing I can say to Airfix is that the larger pieces of plastic are actually pretty strong, since only one of the propellors broke off the first time after hitting solid concrete. After about 3-4 throws, I am much happier with the result. Next time I'm just gonna stick to lego. No paint, no mess, more fun.
The end result:
Is airfix fun?
Is it cheap?
Yes, explains why it's so shit.
Is the glue toxic and can I give it to my child in hope that it will eat some and die?
How many hours of fun can you have with it
Should I get airfix models?
Yes, it's fun for the whole family. Best used when you have a family of 4 or more, you can even leave your toddlers alone with the glue as it is perfectly safe.
I respect that some people may like building airfix models. I do not have a problem with that, I am just an impatient fuck that likes breaking things. The models actually look pretty good if you can build them right.