You could recruit female friends of friends if you're in school, but you are banking on them being hush hush.
You could recruit female friends of friends if you're in school, but you are banking on them being hush hush.
you don't try to find out, you're just going to convince yourself you need proof girls like you back before you ask them out. you don't need that, just ask them out. if they are interested, they say yes. voila. if not, no harm done. don't have to make it awkward.
If it is anything but "Yes" or "No, but how about [insert alternate date]?" the answer you have is that she doesn't like you.
3k posts! I am slowly losing my life!
this is the guy who said he didn't give a fuck if a friend was bothered by something.
If you're worried about your feelings being "socially exposed" then you probably aren't ready to tackle them.
seith doesn't understand how human emotions relate to the physical world. he only understands that humans have emotions, and that there is a physical world.
no i asked you if that was what you thought and you said yes
You followed what was taught to you perfectly. You are a dick just as anybody else. You answered my question perfectly.
I am giving you my opinion, feel free (Everybody) to actually comprehend it instead of feeling as if I am criticizing your actions like a preaching father.
Seith, when you are trapped in a corner, just die and respawn.
You've lost this leg of the conversation, so you ought to just let it drop and fight for a different flagpoint.
I really felt like making it related to gaming, I don't know why.
But really, you're alone in what you argue, yet you argue as though you have the ultimate answer.
While I am sure most of what you say works for you, a large part of the time, it isn't the socially normal way to do things.
You say a lot that'll make you look like a misogynist and narcissist, then talk it through (which sort of affirms this image) and then take offense when this image is applied to you.
It's been a constant circle, I don't understand why you continue it.
For the question, "How do I tell someone, 'No'?" you don't need to respond with an essay.
No matter how you want to spin it, simple words work better.
~Change of Discussion Still Directed at Seith~
No one really wants to read an essay for such a simple question- unless an essay is written in request, an essay in response is unnecessary.
It's o.k with me that you think differently, but don't make it as if YOU have the ultimate answer. :)
You say a lot of shit that will make you look like a misogynist and a narcissist.. -- So, let's say someone told me to tell a girl on the street I love her, would you find that creepy? Rapey? Sure, most people would. Why? Because, most people choose to think that way. If you don't think that saying Iloveyous on the street is creepy, then it won't be. A feeling is something we choose to have, not forced to, that's why diversity regarding styles of clothing exist. (i.e wearing lipstick is gay for most men, yet some men choose to do it... regardless of their sexual orientation, it's unrelated)
I agree that a simple sentence would have sufficed. What I don't agree with is the hypocrisy. Regardless, I now realized something. Thanks.
i get what you are saying about it being insincere, but that's why we have these nicer ways of saying things. you can't always have sincerity or people may not understand that sincerity, so it's a safer middle option that works somewhat. you really do sound like a sociopath though, or you're putting on an act.
So aaaaaaanyway I have a bit of a retarded situation, it's probably my fault but I don't even fucking know tbh. Incoming text wall.
I texted that girl that I've been going on about for the last ages (and let it be known, I've learnt my lesson; fuck texts). It had been about a month since our last exchange, which was basically me saying to her that it was a shame she couldn't come the following evening (we had plans but she ended up not being able to come due to money/an overdue phone bill - it might sound a little bullshit-y but a mutual friend later mentioned it to me that she was saying the same thing to him), and her replying that we could always get coffee or something at a later date. I told her to text me when she was good but whatever, irrelevant now.
So I texted her the other day, "Suuup Nat, free this weekend?" She replies yes. I invite her for coffee and suggest a day. She accepts. Note, by this point I'm pretty fucking happy. I had been quite interested in this girl for a while now and this was finally a chance to actually get to know each other and to have an actual conversation. She also added that she was able to pay off her phone bill which was the main reason she couldn't come out on the first evening I invited her out, so it all seemed quite positive.
But then an hour later, before I could even reply she texts me again saying she just remembered she had a new job induction on that day and wasn't able to go out. I was kinda wtf but fair enough if she's legitimately busy. I reply a while later and bust on her for being difficult, and ask her when works for her in the following week. She says she can't do that week because she's busy with uni work, then suggests after the following weekend. I was at a friend's house by that point and was busy with other shit so I just left it.
The next evening I'm at a party and a friend brings her up and asks me what the situation is blah blah blah, and I end up texting her. I tell her that I'm not sure yet but it should be cool, and then I mention a talk that's being held on the Thursday of the week she suggested, on a topic which we have a mutual interest in, adding that she was welcome to join me and to let me know soon.
Then, she just doesn't reply. It's been about 5 days and so by this point I've kinda just said fuck it but I don't know. I know, if a girl declines a date and doesn't offer another time then she probably isn't interested, and by this point maybe I just need to admit that she isn't, but it feels pretty stupid to me to just give up completely after she actually accepted a date, and also counter-offered on two occasions. Unless this is all just some very indirect way of letting me know that she isn't interested (and if that's the case then that's pretty stupid).
Part of me is thinking she might not have even gotten the text and is probably thinking 'wtf why isn't he replying' just like I am, but I doubt that (but at least I know not to rely on texts after this). Maybe I'm just being neurotic and impatient, but it was just odd that the next day after she *presumably* ignored my text, she just goes and likes pretty much everything I posted/commented on on Facebook.
I KNOW, I'm not thinking 'omg she liked my status she definitely loves me', my point is just that it's kinda fucking weird if you're not interested in someone enough to ignore a text from then and turn them down on a date offer, but then just spend the next day continually reminding them of your existence.
I don't know. I'm kinda bummed and don't know what to do. I just read back on what I wrote and feel so silly about this whole situation and should probably just abandon it, like all my friends are telling me to do. And honestly, if I actually got a clear indication that she wasn't interested from the start, I would drop it straight away, but that hasn't really been the case at all.
EUGH I'm probably over-thinking the fuck out of this but even if I wasn't, what do I do. If she legitimately ignored my text out of disinterest, calling/texting her again would just be so awkward and I don't want to come across like that, because really I'm just legitimately confused as to what the fuck happened. Maybe she's actually just busy and she'll end up texting me closer to the date and I'm being a complete tool about all of this but still, it'd make sense to just reply anyway, right?
Fuck seriously never texting a girl to ask her out again (stfu Seith (<3)).
Someone help me plz thanks.
But in more positive news, a girl from a charity approached me on the street the other day and started talking to me, asking if I was old enough to donate etc. I immediately picked up on her British accent and changed the topic to that, asking which part of England she was from as I was also born there. We ended up chatting for a while about completely irrelevant things, and before I left I got her number.
I don't want to brag but it was in that exact moment that I realized how far I've actually come in the last 2-3 years, and how absolutely ridiculous the notion of me picking up a random girl off the street would be to me just a few years ago. Shit, I couldn't even talk to people properly back then without stuttering or looking at the ground or some other insecure/awkward occurrence. Feels pretty good to see how much you can improve if you just make the effort and get out of the house.
GET OUT THERE AND DO IT.
So, the tl;dr of this would be: chick ignored your invitation and you got a number from a church chick as well.
" I know, if a girl declines a date and doesn't offer another time then she probably isn't interested, and by this point maybe I just need to admit that she isn't, but it feels pretty stupid to me to just give up completely after she actually accepted a date, and also counter-offered on two occasions. "
Not true. At least here, most women tend to NEVER offer a counter-offer as this shows they are interested in you. So, there's a possibility she wants you to chase her.
I would just spend my time with the church chick meanwhile refrain from calling the uni chick. Give it a few days, you can even call her and not set up anything just because you were free... on your way to somewhere... Why hurry, you know she's yours ;)
i dont know what any of u are talking about but i could never date someone who went to church. that shit is too weird. it's like a cult.
but on that note, when I was talking by the town centre today, some man just gave me piece of card with bible quotes on it, which I proceeded to throw into the rubbish while laughing to myself
think he might have saw it
Trying to hard.
being a mod on an internet forum has no effect on your ~real life, and it's a bit weird you'd think it would. being part of a church is normally a big part of your life and is likely to actually effect your thoughts and behaviours.
not at all similar.
I personally love a guy who has some type of faith. Even if he doesn't attend church.
I've dated an atheist or two before and no, I'm not going to say they were demonic people. They were just women beaters. But I'm not generalizing that all atheists are.
they still get together and mindlessly worship an omnipotent being and eat crackers
but we dont have to get into that
why is every one of your exes abusive
the common denominator is you. you probably hate yourself and are subconsciously attracted to men who mistreat you
or something. because it's not possible to just be that unlucky.
I wouldn't even be friends with someone who was religious
That shit is just ignorant
Isn't stereotyping and assuming stuff on people on the basis of their beliefs ignorant?
Needless to say we aren't that close anymore. It's just gonna blow up eventually.
You two, the religious guy and you, choose to argue about what was taught to you as children, it's absurd. I have a religious friend, we are worlds apart in beliefs (I am an atheist) and yet we never argue about these kind of things.
Well if you don't argue then it's going to be awkward as hell when he mentions anything religious.
Almost certainly they have other traits, but if one of them is ignorance that is enough for me to not respect them
You can't say "but that's assuming" because they either accept creationism or they don't, then it gets into "are they really religious or are they just saying it for whatever reason" and, more often than not, it boils down to "individual who I can't respect."
I do not see a problem when you date someone who is more religious than you, it is rather interesting and a change. But if they force you to believe it and become religious to, it gets out of hand.
Religion's just volatile. I tend to not interact with it.
And even if he did, I wouldn't be bothered by it, I have no need to prove what I believe in.